Garth Crooks appreciation thread

[We need an rvn]

Just as well I made sure I put my glasses on and was in the right forum as about to post im a big fan and garth brooks' best song was "the dance" .

 

[Parry Gallister]

Shit quality, but he is a strange man-toad

 

[OverratedOpinion]

He does have a point, football players should spend every waking moment obsessing over how to improve. The fact that these so called professionals have the audacity to waste time and energy on things like haircuts, talking to their friends or even bathing when they could be obsessively watching back their most recent performance to critique it is ridiculous. It is fairly obvious to everyone that if Paul had opted for a short and simple back and sides that we would never had conceded that second on the weekend. You'll never win anything with highlights.

 

[BAMSOLA]

I watched the Geoff Hurst one and that was shocking! Literally dropped the n-word unnecessarily sat next to Crooks

I still can't make out what he actually says here, dropping the N word in the context of that sentence makes no sense.

 

[OnlyTwoDaSilvas]

Garth is great. His 'Team of the Week' articles are bonkers, and I genuinely love his rants that he squeezes in there whilst writing about the player he's included.

The Pogba criticism came whist writing about Choupo Moting. He included Eriksen and started banging on about Wembley, and discussing Mendy's inclusion, he starts ripping in to Liverpool's defence.

This might be the best bit though. Kevin De Bruyne's inclusion in the Team of the Week caused Garth to go on a tirade about tackling:

De Bruyne's first pass to set up Sergio Aguero for Manchester City's opening goal against Liverpool was delightful and the second for Gabriel Jesus was even better.

I've labelled De Bruyne the 'king of the assists' for some time now, certainly since the demise of Arsenal's Mesut Ozil in that department.

As for Liverpool, Jon Moss was absolutely right to send Sadio Mane off for what looked, in my opinion, a dangerous and reckless tackle on City keeper Ederson. The argument that a foul should not be determined by the severity of the injury it causes is something out of a 1982 World Cup semi-final nightmare, when Harald Schumacher escaped without even a booking after knocking Patrick Battiston unconscious.

What nonsense. How else do you assess the severity of a tackle, especially when that tackle is late?

The game has changed immeasurably from the days when players could simply take out an opponent and be praised by his team-mates for the skill with which it was executed or worse, see the incident totally ignored by the officials.

Why Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp should display such disapproval about the challenge on Ederson is incongruous to me. It was City manager Pep Guardiola who should have felt aggrieved. Thank goodness the game has moved on. Well done referee Jon Moss.

Two sentences about KdB, and then a quick revisit to a World Cup that happened 35 years ago, as you do. And that's just this week's Team of the Week. It's worth a regular look. Lord Garth talks an immeasurable amount of shite. It's hilarious.

 

[Alabaster Codify7]

I just cannot warm to Crooks, everything about him rubs me the wrong way - his overly earnest, pompous way of speaking, the wild eyes, the aloof nodding. I suppose that he's something of a character compared to most pundits but he's just an arse, isn't he.

 

[Baxter]

I still can't make out what he actually says here, dropping the N word in the context of that sentence makes no sense.

In the woodpile. Some old bigot politician said it not long ago either.

 

[SteveJ]

Pogba's hair this week was remarkably similar to his hair against Swansea, when he was picked by Garth for his TOTW

 

[BAMSOLA]

In the woodpile. Some old bigot politician said it not long ago either.

Thanks, having gone back and listened to it I can hear it now.

 

[Paxi]

I just cannot warm to Crooks, everything about him rubs me the wrong way - his overly earnest, pompous way of speaking, the wild eyes, the aloof nodding. I suppose that he's something of a character compared to most pundits but he's just an arse, isn't he.

fecking spat my tea out!

 

[horsechoker]

Older cafites, what was Garth Crooks like as a player for a United?

 

[clarkydaz]

I remember him blaming the Spanish players for making Rooney look shit under LVG. That Rooney had been very patient waiting for them to get the philosophy

 

[Wilt]

Poison dwarf

 

[Full bodied red]

Just me, perhaps, but looks like Jabba the Hutt....But without Jabba's knowledge of football....

 

[CechMate1]

I presume Crooks believes Beckham and Ronaldo also have poor mentalities?

 

[dannyrhinos89]

Bitter little man

 

[Pat_Mustard]

I have no respect for Geoff Hurst. What a cnut.

In fairness to Hurst 'nigger in the wood pile' seems to have been a commonly used figure of speech, albeit a tasteless one that thankfully only seems to be used by the occasional Tory MP these days.

 

[Harry190]

I like him. There are worse bozos here. He's just lucky to get paid for it. Can't hate a man for that.

 

[dwd]

 

[DOTA]

Had to be done.

 

[horsechoker]

 

[Josep Dowling]

Another classic quote from his team of the week today

'I can't work out who was vying for more than his fair share of the spotlight, the fourth official who alerted the referee to the issue, referee Craig Pawson for sending United's manager off or Mourinho for shaking all the hands of the Southampton bench prior to his departure. What a bunch.'

Didn't he moan about Jose not shaking Mark Hughes' a couple of weeks ago?

 

[Grande]

Older cafites, what was Garth Crooks like as a player for a United?

I remember drooling over him at Spurs, who had an exciting team in the early eighties with him and Steve Archibald in front of Glen Hoddle and Steve Perryman. United seemingly made a coup to get him at age 27, first on loan, to play alongside Frank Stapleton. Unfortunately his legs was more or less gone and he only made seven starts for United and they let him slip to WBA.

 

[noodlehair]

He's put Mignolet in his team of the week.

 

[GrandJury]

He's put Mignolet in his team of the week.

 

[Vault Dweller]

He's put Mignolet in his team of the week.

Good old Garth, some much needed Monday relief.

 

[Lay]

I loved this in his team of the week:

Rooney made it absolutely clear to referee Martin Atkinson that it was the fourth time the Bournemouth centre-back had challenged in that fashion and the referee did not penalise the one that caused all the damage. It's all well and good Francis trying these dangerous manoeuvres with the likes of Rooney. Had Francis been playing against Duncan Ferguson I suspect it would have been Francis leaving the field of play, but on a stretcher.

 

[Fiskey]

http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41381529

How anyone older than 11 who watches football could choose this team is beyond me.

 

[freeurmind]

This week he had Mertesacker in the team of the week.

 

[100]

He literally just picks the goalscorers first, then picks players around them.

 

[Hullyback]

The main reason I no longer watch final score is this man. Can't abide him, seems the type that would start an argument with himself in an empty room.

 

[Jig1234]

Crooks is at it again!

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

 

[Needham]

Why is this clown even employed?

Kids parties?

 

[Dirty Schwein]

He's a clown. Chats so much breeze. Can't stand him.

 

[JPRouve]

I'm pretty sure that he is a troll. He never says anything close to rational.

 

[Theafonis]

That Bakayako part, pretty sure the guy promised fans he’d dye his hair if he scored

 

[ValenciasDrilledCrosses]

Put Pogba in his team of the week. This was his 'take' on his performance

I have no time for his hairstyles and even less time for the dancing exhibitions. They are for beauty parlours and catwalks.

What I do enjoy, though, is a footballer who can produce moments of magic with a football at his feet.

There is no doubt that Paul Pogba's return to the Manchester United line-up was as empathic against Newcastle as it was stylish, and so it should be.

Newcastle simply do not have the resources to compete with Manchester United. But you can only beat what is in front of you and Pobga tormented Newcastle throughout.

I would like to see the Frenchman have this sort of performance against the top teams, but there is no doubt that, given time and room, Pogba can destroy the opposition.

I had little choice but to pick Pogba over Jack Cork for example. Cork was outstanding for Burnley against Swansea but Pogba is in a different class. Yet there was something quite virtuous about Cork's performance I did not see in Pogba's against the Magpies.

Nevertheless, it would have been vindictive of me not to pick Pogba. I refuse to allow a poor rendition of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever with a poor haircut to stop me from producing an honest selection, but I do so through gritted teeth.

 

[automaticflare]

Put Pogba in his team of the week. This was his 'take' on his performance

Wtf

I think crooks is an absolute idiot

 

[100]

Garth ‘Partridge’ Crooks

 

[Seij]

Thought this thread was about Gareth Bale at first glance.