If you were interviewed for the Manager Job what questions would you ask at the end?

[Sparky Rhiwabon]

You know the score, your interview for the job as Manchester United manager is coming towards the end and they say “Well, that’s all the questions we have for you, now do you have any questions for us?”

What are you asking the Panel?

 

[RexHamilton]

How do they put the figs into the fig rolls?

 

[Tom Cato]

Where do you see the club in two years?

 

[SuperiorXI]

Who are the biggest and most inept cnuts in the world and why are they you?

 

[kthanksbye]

How many casual leaves and sick leaves am I entitled to every month?

 

[sullydnl]

What does Mike Phelan do?

 

[DickDastardly]

"Does the club have an official pig farm i can throw Harry into or do we outsource that stuff?"

 

[ManchesterManchester]

What freebies do I get as manager? Do I get a Wooly hat to keep my bald head warm?

 

[2 man midfield]

Are there more doors or wheels in the training ground?

 

[Rightnr]

I'll try to be more serious than the above answers.

1. What is your ambition for this club?
2. When do you expect US to achieve it?
3. What is the reporting structure? Who has the final say on players and therefore what are the criteria to make the player purchasing decisions?
4. What money will be made available to me each window and what guanratees are there this will happen, irrespective of the short-term financial situation?
5. Can I sell whoever I want to i.e. get Maguire and Rashford gone and don't offer dumb money to players on expiring contracts.

 

[Deery]

What’s the compensation package like?

 

[Maticmaker]

You know the score, your interview for the job as Manchester United manager is coming towards the end and they say “Well, that’s all the questions we have for you, now do you have any questions for us?”

What are you asking the Panel?

Good, excellent question!

During my working life I interviewed hundreds of people and this was the part of the process where something like 80% of those who were at that stage the front runner, eventually lost it.

The kind of question they asked was such that it tended to undo all the promise they had shown up to then in the interview. In this case the question to the panel might be;

"So what happens if I fail to win any trophies"?

 

[BorisManUtd]

Who are the biggest and most inept cnuts in the world and why are they you?

What’s the compensation package like?

 

[clonsolar]

How do I edit the database to give myself £1 Billion to spend?

 

[buchansleftleg]

"Just tell me who do I have to feck get the club to buy a decent defensive midfielder, and why have they been saying "no" for the last 15 years!"

 

[bond19821982]

Can a loss be a win ?

How do you play Pogba and Bruno in the same line up?

What does Phelan do ?

Was Ole a success ?

 

[JohnnyKills]

Why the feck have you invited me to interview?

 

[Foxbatt]

What the hell is Fletcher doing? The last manager didn't know so I want to know.

 

[TheRedHearted]

Do I get my own bathroom
Do you prefer man United, Man Utd, or Manchester United? What about Manchester U. Can i make that a thing?(woodward starts thinking of making a Manchester university that solely teaches about the club and T-shirt sales

 

[Sparky Rhiwabon]

Why the feck have you invited me to interview?

Your previous experience on Championship Manager 01/02 together with your two top 100k finishes in Fantasy Premier League put you on a similar standing to our last permanent manager.

 

[SoCross]

Berry Berry Shrew

 

[Random Task]

This one's for you Joel: If you punch yourself in the face and it hurts like a bugger, would you consider yourself weak or strong?

 

[youmeletsfly]

A fly enters a horse's mouth. When it gets out, the horse is no longer there, what happened?

 

[Van Piorsing]

Are we able to start putting fines on players who blatantly sabotaging the season with their despicable attitude ? ...or perhaps can we just show them the door and be done with it ?

In case of the same persisting attitude problem, can we let well behaved supporters to the dressing room so players can hear their honest opinions ? Worked for SAF in the past.

With Woodward somewhat gone can we finally stop focusing on Disneyland and play some actual football ?

 

[tenpoless]

Can I do Brendan Rodgers envelope tactic?

 

[Hughes35]

How much wood would Ed Woodward Wood if Ed Woodward could wood wood?

 

[Robertd0803]

What is YOUR 3 year/5 year plan?
What is YOUR measurement of success in this time period?
How much control/independence do I have?
If player a is acting up in the media and I bin him am I going to have the full support of the board?

In fairness we could probably ask more of the interviewers than they could ask us.

 

[Eckers99]

What does Mike Phelan do?

Wears shorts and pops balloons.

 

[Verward]

Do I, my family and friends get free tickets for Disneyland?

 

[Frank Grimes]

Is the canteen subsidised?

 

[golden_blunder]

Manchester!?.. can the job be done remotely?

 

[Tavern in the town]

What do you believe is the reason every coach and footballer in the last 9 years who has left the club has left with a much worse reputation than before they walked in the door? How do you plan to prevent this happening in future?

 

[Remember the geese]

Any tips on how to sound convincing when I have to spin the old 'we are progressing, one step at a time, it's a process' line?

 

[matt10000]

Have you got any of those Japanese super toilets?

 

[yamo123x]

in answer to the question

" When will i find out if you want me or not?"

 

[hatchetmac]

Has Harry Maguire been on First Dates?

 

[matt10000]

I can’t work Saturdays is that going to be a problem?

 

[Elcabron]

I would be mainly concerned with asking about transfers in and out. Are there any players in the squad who I cannot look to off load, that would be a key one for me. And what is the budget for incoming players?

The rest can be left for the agent to sort out.

 

[matt10000]

Good, excellent question!

During my working life I interviewed hundreds of people and this was the part of the process where something like 80% of those who were at that stage the front runner, eventually lost it.

Oooh you are a tough cookie

 

[Blood Mage]

Can I get Frogie's autograph?

The club's no defensive midfielder policy is fascinating what's the thought process behind it?