Imagine Jose is browsing Red Cafe....

[Lentwood]

He stumbles across a post from you and thinks “what a fantastic idea - I’m going to try that next game”

- what would you want that post to say and why?

Try to be specific. Not just “be less negative” or “clearout needed”

For example, I would love to restore some width to the side by playing Shaw LB, Young RB and having Sanchez and Martial start in high and wide positions to stretch the opposition defence. Replace the two of them immediately if they start drifting infield and chasing the ball.

 

[mewnew11]

RAWK goes into meltdown. Read it Jose

 

[Rajma]

I think we commit to many men forward and as a result are left wide open, need our striker to be closer to our penalty box then maybe we’ll start seeing any improvements.

 

[Skills]

Retirement is great isn't it folks? I definitely would retire if I was 50+ year old multimillionaire manager.

Just look at this beautiful beach.

*Insert some sob story of how a good father and husband needs to be as close as possible to his family, even if it means sacrificing his job*

 

[Green_Red]

Start Martial, Rashford and Lakaku as a front three for the rest of the season and all out attack every game.

 

[MemphisDepay]

Play more attacking football, send the players on to the pitch with the intention of taking the initiative rather than being reactionary and just waiting for opposition mistakes - I can accept being slightly more reactionary against the world class sides but not almost every other game.

Bring in a coach with natural attacking instincts who can give us some identity going forward and give some new ideas.

Maybe one day try accepting that sometimes when we don’t win you have to take a bit more responsibility for your own tactical approach.

 

[Honest John]

Jose - if you are as clear in the dressing room as you are in the pressers then that may explain why the team hasn't got a clue what the plan is.

 

[MJJ]

Retirement is great isn't it folks? I definitely would retire if I was 50+ year old multimillionaire manager.

Just look at this beautiful beach.

*Insert some sob story of how a good father and husband needs to be as close as possible to his family, even if it means sacrificing his job*

 

[Mr Pigeon]

Buy Messi

 

[horsechoker]

attack the space!

 

[roonster09]

Retirement is great isn't it folks? I definitely would retire if I was 50+ year old multimillionaire manager.

Just look at this beautiful beach.

*Insert some sob story of how a good father and husband needs to be as close as possible to his family, even if it means sacrificing his job*

 

[montpelier]

We take back everything we said about Mkhitaryan, sorry Jose.

 

[simonhch]

PSG is a wonderful club. Unlimited funds and guaranteed titles. Marouane is a great travel companion.

 

[beedoubleyou]

Sticking all your players in the middle, having them stand still and lumping balls to Fellaini is no way to play football. You start with a positive plan A and resort to a desperate plan B. Not the other way around. Have some pride.

Also, congratulations, I'm spewing negativity on Red Cafe. I've become everything I hate.

 

[Salus Populi Suprema Lex]

The work rate must be massively increased. Our players cover the least amount of ground in the Premier League; we should be pressing teams to win back possession and then hitting them, in the way City and Barcelona do. Our method of sitting back and surrendering possession is dreadful to watch and hands the initiative to the opposition.

 

[blue blue]

Dear Jose

We loved you at Chelsea but, sorry,you had to go. The team couldn't string two results together and the players were looking confused. They were the best team in the league one season and then the next they were Sh*t. You sold a raft of top players to our competitors and turned good players into bad players. It was strange what happened because a lot of us thought it was the players fault and that they had stopped working for the manager. Turns out most of them turned back into good players after you left and they managed to win the league again. It may have been a coincidence this happened on your watch and that the players would have turned to sh*t even if you hadn't had been the manager, but you have to admit it's a bit of a stretch. Look, what I really want to know is what is it that you said to the players that season that pi*sed them off so much. What was it that made Fabregas give the ball to the opposition all the time. Why didn't Hazard turn on the magic? What did you tell the players Jose? Why didn't it work? I wanted the players to play better and stop losing possession. Why didn't you tell them to do that? The things is Jose, from the outside, and after just over a year to recover, it looks like you lost the dressing room. It looks like your team meetings were probably filled with unintelligible ramblings and the players didn't know what you wanted and after a while, I imagine, they were laughing behind your back. Costa was anyway, I saw him doing it behind you while he was sat on the bench. Has anybody told you that before?

Anyway, I've got a few Utd mates Jose and they are wondering if you are doing the same thing to them this season. They say it looks like some of the players don't understand that attack the space thing and keep passing the ball sideways. I know it's probably a bit more complicated than that but I hear you were really bad against Seville and thought it would be good idea if you changed things before it got too bad.

Hope the changes go well and the players don't do that stupid thing the Chelsea players did.

 

[Web of Bissaka]

Jose Mourinho, why so negative?

Stop relying on Fellaini for far too much.

Team still have consistency issue, ever thinking of playing with a more consistent rate formation and line-up of starting good form 11?
*without too much chop and change to the midfield combo, and to the trident supporting Lukaku, both position and player selection wise.
*give some deserved good form players 3-5 games before benching them, for bad performances.

Valencia seems knackered/regressing so our RB rotates between Tony and Young who is more natural there as a FB?
Play Shaw more? too positive? too adventurous?

 

[Web of Bissaka]

Retirement is great isn't it folks? I definitely would retire if I was 50+ year old multimillionaire manager.

Just look at this beautiful beach.

*Insert some sob story of how a good father and husband needs to be as close as possible to his family, even if it means sacrificing his job*

PSG is a wonderful club. Unlimited funds and guaranteed titles. Marouane is a great travel companion.

 

[theREDMAN]

PSG is a wonderful club. Unlimited funds and guaranteed titles. Marouane is a great travel companion.

Brilliant

 

[Class of 63]

Buy a House, or sod off, and take Pogba with you

 

[Owngoalscorer]

If you give me 20% of your salary , I'll stop complaining

 

[YouOnlyLiveTwice]

You can have a go at Sevilla at home, don't be afraid to risk a little bit of the bus.

 

[The Man Himself]

Have you checked the ignore threads/forums/posters feature Jose? That will come very handy. Otherwise enjoy your stay here and don't pay too much attention to what is being said.

 

[simonhch]

You may have misunderstood what Woody meant when he said he hoped the season would end with an open bus.

 

[worldinmotion66]

Push the defensive line up to the halfway line and compact the space - our defenders are all pretty quick, you don't have to compensate for john terry's lack of pace anymore!

Let matic sit to release the full backs, Pogba and a third central midfielder.

Get the team to press from the front.

Tell de gea that he's awesome.

 

[tenpoless]

Oi! sort it out will ye

 

[CA_vampire]

If you give me 20% of your salary, I'll do your job.

You can spend your time on the beach pictured above, and if things do not work out you can blame me for everything. Win-win!

 

[Davistiano]

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/bus
=========
bus

NOUN(plural buses, plural busses)

• 1 A large motor vehicle carrying passengers by road, typically one serving the public on a fixed route and for a fare.

=========

Dear Jose,

Oxford Dictionary says "bus" is a motor vehicle, it is meant to MOVE not "parked".

 

[Florida Man]

You're doing a great job son...a great job!

 

[Maciej]

Dear Jose

We loved you at Chelsea but, sorry,you had to go. The team couldn't string two results together and the players were looking confused. They were the best team in the league one season and then the next they were Sh*t. You sold a raft of top players to our competitors and turned good players into bad players. It was strange what happened because a lot of us thought it was the players fault and that they had stopped working for the manager. Turns out most of them turned back into good players after you left and they managed to win the league again. It may have been a coincidence this happened on your watch and that the players would have turned to sh*t even if you hadn't had been the manager, but you have to admit it's a bit of a stretch. Look, what I really want to know is what is it that you said to the players that season that pi*sed them off so much. What was it that made Fabregas give the ball to the opposition all the time. Why didn't Hazard turn on the magic? What did you tell the players Jose? Why didn't it work? I wanted the players to play better and stop losing possession. Why didn't you tell them to do that? The things is Jose, from the outside, and after just over a year to recover, it looks like you lost the dressing room. It looks like your team meetings were probably filled with unintelligible ramblings and the players didn't know what you wanted and after a while, I imagine, they were laughing behind your back. Costa was anyway, I saw him doing it behind you while he was sat on the bench. Has anybody told you that before?

Anyway, I've got a few Utd mates Jose and they are wondering if you are doing the same thing to them this season. They say it looks like some of the players don't understand that attack the space thing and keep passing the ball sideways. I know it's probably a bit more complicated than that but I hear you were really bad against Seville and thought it would be good idea if you changed things before it got too bad.

Hope the changes go well and the players don't do that stupid thing the Chelsea players did.

That's a good post from the blue

 

[PaidMonk]

Step the feck down already!

 

[Mr Smith]

Make teams fear you. Sevilla knew they could attack us at our leisure; that they'd be given time and space on the ball to create. Why did you give them that time and space? As was demonstrated time and time again in the first half, Sevilla's attack is full of poor decision makers. If you let them sit back, sure they might struggle to hurt you, but they'll have a lot of time to try. Press them and they'll panic, make mistakes, and you're in.

Jose, I like that you defend well. Under Moyes and Van Gaal our team had serious defensive problems, and I appreciate that you prioritise defence. But you need to put attacking first. Look at the Liverpool game. You came out of the blocks and scored twice before Liverpool knew what hit them. You were aggressive, you beat their press by going long, and you got the goals you needed. You had a clear plan and you executed it. Now Sevilla are a different team to Liverpool, but if anything they have more weaknesses. Why didn't you attack those weaknesses? What were you afraid of? You need to stop being afraid of the opposition, and start making the opposition fear us.

 

[RexHamilton]

I'd love if he read the Flat Earth Theory thread and became consumed with it and then in press conferences when asked about Sanchez's form he ends up just rambling about ice walls and bringing Nani back.

 

[superdry]

Step away from the club sir!

 

[Eleven-Eighteen]

Thank God he doesn't read the Caf

 

[Rafaeldagold]

Dear Jose,

Thanks for stopping to read my post kind sir.

So I think you’re a great manager, one of the worlds best, but I just have 1 point to ask you.

Q- Did you have no sleep the day before the Seville game due to a Portugeuse wine session ? Were you taken away by aliens the previous night were they did some brain probing which took away the part of the brain which controls the Fellaini resonung function? Or are you a fake Jose who’s an elaborate poster of the great real Jose?

Please let me know which of these it is that caused you to start Fellani in our biggest game of the season as I’m having trouble reasoning it.

Regards

Mr Fan

 

[JohnLocke]

This place cracks me up sometimes

 

[duffer]

No chance he reads Redcafe.

Hotels charge a bomb for WIFI.

 

[JustFootballFan]

What you mean imagine? A paranoid narcissist trying to create a "we against the world"-mentality. He´s probably printing out 20 pages of Redcafe daily and hands them to the players.

 

[Ali Dia]

Rashford- regains some form at palace and Liverpool, switched position because of Sanchez. He’s no good from the right.

Marital- starting to show solid form pulled for Sanchez. Himself and Rashford seem to thrive in the same area too which is a bummer.

Pogba- your world record signing player and arguably your best outfield player can’t play with your highest earner- Sanchez.

Sanchez is the highest paid player in the league and on a long contract and we didn’t actually need him. Who actually makes these decisions? We’ve actually become a worse team shoehorning him in. Rooney Mk 2 here we go. You sign him when he’s leaving Italy or at the very latest when he’s leaving Barca and has a few prime years left. He can be sold for a nice bit if it doesn’t work out. The downside of this transfer is huge if it doesn’t work out now. He was having an absolute shocker at Arsenal this year too. Was he going to come in and start playing amazing stuff? All the signs pointed to no.

Lingard- finally hitting form and saving us time and time again now keeps getting dropped and moved around to accommodate Sanchez....

Shaw was coming along nicely and dropped again for young who’s gone back to playing like crap... rotation policy not working out there quite as expected.

Instantly Dropping last year’s player of the season and one of the only players who seemed to have pride in the shirt while we transition.

Over reliance on Fellaini and Valencia.

Not signing a RW!!!!

Negative reactive football with one of the most expensively assembled group of players ever. It’s just so painful to watch. Ya we won the EC but we should be walking that either way. Second in the league? Cool. We look way off the pace of 1st. Seville was our cup final and we didn’t even try to take the initiative. It was disgraceful really. Overpaid and massively overrated are what these lads currently are. I’d rather a few more years in the wilderness and to go back to a youth driven approach guided by some classy players instead of signing every mercenary player with a half decent cv that fancies a pay rise. Let’s buikd something for the future because this approach isn’t working for us. A Sane type would have been a far better player for us than Sanchez on 1/5 if even of the wages and his best years ahead. We can do the same with players of a similar profile if they are COACHED well and trusted by a good manager with fresh ideas.