Michael Owen has always been a cringe monster

Murder on Zidane's Floor

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Just look how he acts putting the ball past a 13 year old keeper, gotta love Southall digging him out though.

 

Tommy

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Don't think anyone will disagree. The worst thing is he's paid for his personality & insight... What fecking personality & insight?
 

GeorgieBoy

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"Well done he's 13".
Hahaha.
 

Red Stone

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I do an impression of that "geeeeet in theeeere!" as my go to wind-up phrase when I'm playing FIFA against mates.
 

Sterling Archer

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That OP is so cringeworthy. I don't know how I'd have handled his move to United if I'd seen that before .
 

FujiVice

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I swear, I'll never not laugh at that video of Michael Owen chuffed to death that he's putting the ball past a 13 year old ginger. He's so happy, it makes me happy. He really should have retired then.

Amazing that it was filmed at Stoke's ground as well. Probably the best thing he ever did in that city.
 

Nero

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This thread is still missing his "Clean and fresh" self-promotion brochure.

Also, let us not forget his Dubai helicopter tour.
 

Paxi

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This thread is still missing his "Clean and fresh" self-promotion brochure.

Also, let us not forget his Dubai helicopter tour.
That was something. Caf had it's very own parody thread. It was fecking hilarious.
 

Sky1981

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Just look how he acts putting the ball past a 13 year old keeper, gotta love Southall digging him out though.

Tbf to him he's just kidding i think. Like having fun along the way. Besides that's expected from owen against a 13 yo keeper
 

Charles Miller

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I can't see what's wrong with that video. He supposed to let the kid save to make him feel good?
 

SirAF

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Only partly joking, he could very well be on the spectrum. A friend of mine was his gardener for a while and apparently he had a habit of derailing normal conversation to obtrusively talk about his horses.
Oh, I’m not debating it!
 

Red Stone

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I can't see what's wrong with that video. He supposed to let the kid save to make him feel good?
No, but he could try not to act like a condescending prick throughout the video, or celebrating the goals as if they were significant in any way. He was a Premiership footballer on the verge of a Ballon d'Or, the keeper was 13 years old and never did anything in professional football and the stands were empty. It makes Owen look like a dick.

That snide fecking laugh must have made the kid feel like shit too. It's the sort of laugh that warrants a punch to the face.
 

RedDevil95

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He's one of those dickheads who loves just humiliating people even when you're casually playing football at a five side venue or something. Also at the end when he refers to himself in the third person "Owen, Game, Set, Match" so cringe.
 

Inigo Montoya

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At one point he turns his back to the kid and points at the name on the back of his shirt. The kid was 13...
I'm not sure I'd let a 13 yr old get one over on me. It's not as if he was a 7 yr old or something
 

RedFish

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I'm not sure I'd let a 13 yr old get one over on me. It's not as if he was a 7 yr old or something
C'mon. He's being a total prick. Can you imagine Zlatan or Pogba smashing the ball past the kid and celebrating like that. Its about the kid not him. It's so over the top you'd think it was scripted!
 

R.N7

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Unlike his Real compatriot Jonathan Woodgate, Owen made little effort to learn the language and one cameo is especially telling. Someone who knew him well revealed that Owen used to regularly drive from his Madrid hotel to the airport in order to buy English newspapers, never realising that, had he bothered to venture a few yards into the city, he could have bought the Daily Mail et al from numerous downtown kiosks. Such a lack of imagination left him far from suited to the expat life and a return to England the following summer came as no surprise.
"I loved it at Madrid, although there was a bit of a horror story off the pitch. I would definitely advise Gareth and his partner to get a house sorted quickly in Madrid. They have a young child, as my wife and I did when we moved to Madrid. I envisaged immediately having a lovely house, swimming pool, sitting out in the sun, and when I got back from training I would be playing with the two-year-old in the garden. I spoke to Steve McManaman before going out there and Macca loved it in Madrid but he did not have a kid. We did. We were not prepared for a long time in a hotel.
Madrid did plenty to help us, but they put us in a businessmen’s hotel for five months; we had a lovely room, but it was not conducive to playing happy families. Restaurants in Spain do not open until late at night and we could not have our kid staying up to midnight every night. It is just not right when they are two years old. We were putting her down at 7pm, lights off at 7.30, me and my wife would put the one English TV channel on mute while the little one went to sleep.

We would lie there in the pitch black until we dropped off to sleep. It was pretty tough. It was difficult to enjoy. After training, I wanted to go and spend time with the lads, embrace the country. A few times I used to play nine holes of golf with Ronaldo – the Brazilian – and the reserve keeper César Sánchez. I felt really guilty. I knew my wife and daughter would be in the hotel with nothing to do.
 

Inigo Montoya

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C'mon. He's being a total prick. Can you imagine Zlatan or Pogba smashing the ball past the kid and celebrating like that. Its about the kid not him. It's so over the top you'd think it was scripted!
Personally I think it's a thing between him and Southall, the kid is somewhat secondary to it all
 

Smores

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Jesus never seen that what an arsehole. No class there at all
 

Cee90

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Ah, Michael Owen, what a man.

I'm sure some of you with be familiar with these, but here are some of his best quotes as a football commentator:

- “Footballers these days often have to use their feet.”

- "Whichever team scores more goals usually wins.”
- “That’s a fantastic penalty, but he’ll be gutted it went wide.”
- “When they don’t score, they hardly ever win.”

- “That shot is impossible. I saw Yaya Toure do it once.”

More here: https://www.sportskeeda.com/football/top-20-funniest-quotes-michael-owen