One Utd headline you would love to hear in the coming days

Wilt

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May 22, 2017
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Pochettino resigns.

Pochettino and Levi have failed to agree Spurs transfer budget. Levi’s offer of £20 million spread over the next 10 years has been rejected by Pochettino.

Utd on alert.
 

Needham

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Saudi Arabia announces free elections, outlaws discrimination based on religion and gender, launches 3bn bid for Needham
 

balaks

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'Man Utd delighted to announce that Ole signs new 5 year contract and Sanchez has doubled his wages with a stunning 8 year extension - Lindgard unveiled as Man Utd Captain'
 

Devil may care

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In a total fantasy world "Glazers sell Manchester United to the owner of Amazon."

In a mostly fantasy world "de Ligt signs for Manchester United."
 

Chesterlestreet

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Oct 19, 2012
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"Ed Woodward revealed to be malfunctioning robot. The problem (in his wiring) will be fixed, probably next week, says ITKs."
 

Mike Phelan's Former Tash

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Manchester United are delighted to announce Edwin Van Der Sar has been appointed technical director on a 5 year deal.

His role is the sporting equivalent of Ed Woodwards role and he will report directly to the owners. We would like to take this opportunity to thank Ed for the work he's done with football matters over the last 6 years as he moves his primary focus into the marketing side of the business.

As part of the VDS deal Ajax stars De Ligt and Neres will be joining him at United on the same long term 5 year deals. This is truly an exciting time to be a Manchester United fan as the club moves forward in a positive direction.

It is already rumoured that VDS has deals set up for the departures of Jones, Smalling, young, Sanchez, Lukaku, Rojo, Darmian and matic.
 

Al-T

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Keane appointed assistant to OGS.

JLingz clothing contemporaneously announce new brown underwear line endorsed by the entire squad
 

Walters_19_MuFc

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Manchester United are delighted to announce Edwin Van Der Sar has been appointed technical director on a 5 year deal.

His role is the sporting equivalent of Ed Woodwards role and he will report directly to the owners. We would like to take this opportunity to thank Ed for the work he's done with football matters over the last 6 years as he moves his primary focus into the marketing side of the business.

As part of the VDS deal Ajax stars De Ligt and Neres will be joining him at United on the same long term 5 year deals. This is truly an exciting time to be a Manchester United fan as the club moves forward in a positive direction.

It is already rumoured that VDS has deals set up for the departures of Jones, Smalling, young, Sanchez, Lukaku, Rojo, Darmian and matic.
Longest headline I've seen in my life.
 

Amar__

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The leading Manchester United forum bans creating shit threads.
 

BlueHaze

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May 20, 2018
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I've had maybe 5 threads blocked attempting to discuss the summer transfer window... but discussing Philadelphia on toast is fine....go figure!
Every other thread I pop into I see you complaining about locked threads. :lol:
 

Aloysius's Back 3

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' Huawei leader to Buy Manchester United after success of new System Software trumping android and apple.. '

:drool: