Player types you hate playing with..

[Bobski]

What type of players bug you the most when they turn up for your 5/7/8/9 aside session?

I think there are a few easy ones to identify;

The won't track back type,
The shitty attitude/mouthpiece type,
The wanabee tough guy who can give it but not take it, ruins the atmosphere of the game.
The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"
The guy who wants to nutmeg everyone but keeps losing the ball-usually paired with doesn't track back
The 2 mins in nets then shouting next keeper
The one who makes no effort in nets and looks afraid of the ball hurting them
The one at the back who wants to hit every ball 50 yards thinking he has Scholes range

 

[VorZakone]

Selfish dribblers.

 

[Lay]

What type of players bug you the most when they turn up for your 5/7/8/9 aside session?

I think there are a few easy ones to identify;

The won't track back type,
The shitty attitude/mouthpiece type,
The wanabee tough guy who can give it but not take it, ruins the atmosphere of the game.
The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"
The guy who wants to nutmeg everyone but keeps losing the ball-usually paired with doesn't track back
The 2 mins in nets then shouting next keeper
The one who makes no effort in nets and looks afraid of the ball hurting them
The one at the back who wants to hit every ball 50 yards thinking he has Scholes range

This. My best friend is like this and it irritates me so much.

 

[Glorio]

The "blame everyone else for my own mistakes so they don't realise I'm rubbish" lad
+
The showboater who never presses the ball or tracks back, and even when they try, its just for show, so you don't eat their heads off - it lacks any ambition and usually results in a weak foul

 

[bsCallout]

Always the won't track back type.

My biggest strength is grafting and winning the ball etc but when you're the only doing it or the other team score because of the one guy who just lets his man go.

I can't cope with it. I'm too competitive.

So I stopped playing football.

It's unfair for me to berate others for not treating everything like life and death, 100% or nothing.

 

[Jezpeza]

The ‘team focal point’. Demands the ball every time you have it. When you pass will just try and dribble it past entire oppo team or shoot wildly from a ridiculous place. Never passes to a team mate. If you dont pass to them will have a fit and claim they were open and somehow would have scored, even in their own half

 

[2cents]

The mouthy cnut who complains whenever a team mate loses the ball or doesn’t pass to him who is also fecking shite.

And of course the dribbling cnut who never passes.

(edit): just seen @Jezpeza has these covered.

 

[Infordin]

The guy who dribbles head down and often straight into the opponent. He rarely passes it and the concept of a first touch pass is alien to him.

The overly aggressive and reckless defender who’s stupid and pointless challenges often end up injuring someone.

 

[Cheimoon]

Always the won't track back type.

My biggest strength is grafting and winning the ball etc but when you're the only doing it or the other team score because of the one guy who just lets his man go.

I can't cope with it. I'm too competitive.

So I stopped playing football.

It's unfair for me to berate others for not treating everything like life and death, 100% or nothing.

Sounds like me, except it doesn't bother me as much.

Mostly I dislike players that don't put a shift in and have a big mouth anyway. I actually don't mind players as much that do nothing but are aware of it themselves. (Speaks to the level I was at I guess. ) Oh, and selfish players that aren't good at it.

 

[Infordin]

I am the kind of guy in midfield who likes to play difficult through balls and always looks to create chances, but the pass doesn't always work out and I sometimes end up losing possession.

I wonder if I am the kind of player who would piss people off my teammates haven't said anything tbf

 

[Bobski]

The dribbler coming out on top so far, as expected, get a couple of them in the same team and the rest of the team may as well sit at the back.

That reminds me, should add another one,

The pair who only want to pass to each other.

 

[Lynty]

Tough choice between 2minute keppers and wannabe tough guys


Dribblers (I've been guilty of this myself at times) you can highlight every time they lose the ball. Give them a grilling.

 

[giorno]

Selfish dribblers.

Aka "venezia"

Unless they're so good they can win by themselves, then they become everyone's favourite teammate

 

[Lynty]

How about overly enthusiastic celebrators. Do my head in

 

[Maluco]

It’s definitely the average mouthy pointers for me.

The ones that act like the big lad at the back by constantly shouting where they think you should be and ruining your confidence, while at the same time, losing the ball constantly by trying stupid things themselves.

I couldn’t contain myself and had to call the guy out the last time I played and tell him to give it a rest. I then felt bad because he was constantly looking assurance that I wasn’t annoyed at him up until we went home

 

[Ish]

Wont track Back &
Shoot on site (from everywhere)

 

[slored1]

Gotta be the selfish guy that never tracks back and thinks he's the next Maradona. Infuriating.

 

[Sandikan]

The dribbler coming out on top so far, as expected, get a couple of them in the same team and the rest of the team may as well sit at the back.

That reminds me, should add another one,

The pair who only want to pass to each other.

Ah exactly this!

Used to play in some pub team, and the right winger (an absolute waster who was ruined after 2mins), was best mates with one of the strikers.

If you had the misfortune to be playing up front along side his mate you had no chance of getting a pass, as everything went to his mate. Infuriating.

 

[Sandikan]

A couple from when I played centre back.

Playing next to some really slow player, who is always insistent on bringing the line up really high - knowing that you'll be the mug who has to do all the chasing punts to pacey players storming into that space.
Or the slow centre back who occasionally wins the ball, and everyone says they "read" the game.

Or the full back, who 20 years ago when full backs actually tried to defend, would spent 90% of the game as a right winger, and leave you to mop it all up.

I don't miss any of this I must admit.

 

[carvajal]

-Playing futsal, the teammate who hardly does anything to avoid goals when he has to be a goalkeeper, and thus end his turn soon.
-The Beckenbauers who are protesting all the time because the attack don´t track back and correct every action.
I have to admit that although it bothered me, I never tried too hard as a goalkeeper.
Now that I play shitty matches, I have become a mouthy cnut too, especially with my son, whom I torture the entire match

 

[OnlyTwoDaSilvas]

Playing with - definitely the dribbler who never passes.

Playing against - the guy who is not very good and just wants to kick you. Seemed like every time I played fives there was someone like that on the other team. There amount of nasty bastards playing fives made me give it up, it just wasn't fun anymore.

 

[Jeppers7]

What type of players bug you the most when they turn up for your 5/7/8/9 aside session?

I think there are a few easy ones to identify;

The won't track back type,
The shitty attitude/mouthpiece type,
The wanabee tough guy who can give it but not take it, ruins the atmosphere of the game.
The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"
The guy who wants to nutmeg everyone but keeps losing the ball-usually paired with doesn't track back
The 2 mins in nets then shouting next keeper
The one who makes no effort in nets and looks afraid of the ball hurting them
The one at the back who wants to hit every ball 50 yards thinking he has Scholes range

The one with no ability

 

[Cloud7]

The guy that just dribbles all the time when they really don't need to.

The guy that shoots from all kinds of ridiculous angles and positions as soon as they get even the vaguest opening.

The person that takes the kickabout way too seriously.

 

[FrankDrebin]

Players who don't communicate with their teammates.

Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.

 

[VeevaVee]

The overly aggressive. Not even to the point of being dangerous or violent, but when they’re constantly flying in at you with shoulder barges as hard as they can and the like. They do become predictable though.

 

[KirkDuyt]

The one dude who accidentally curles in a freekick 7 years ago and still demands to take all setpieces.

 

[Wilt]

Big headed cnuts who think they’re better than they actually are

 

[T00lsh3d]

What type of players bug you the most when they turn up for your 5/7/8/9 aside session?

I think there are a few easy ones to identify;

The won't track back type,
The shitty attitude/mouthpiece type,
The wanabee tough guy who can give it but not take it, ruins the atmosphere of the game.
The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"
The guy who wants to nutmeg everyone but keeps losing the ball-usually paired with doesn't track back
The 2 mins in nets then shouting next keeper
The one who makes no effort in nets and looks afraid of the ball hurting them
The one at the back who wants to hit every ball 50 yards thinking he has Scholes range

The ‘misses the obvious pass’ guy. Don’t get into a great spot when he’s got the ball because you’ll become invisible to the fecker

 

[11101]

Playing as a centre back or defensive mid...

Forwards who stand still.
Duracell bunnies with no footballing ability, running around mostly mopping up their own mess.
Midfielders who dont show for the ball so you have no choice but to punt it long or go backwards.

 

[Deery]

The striker that doesn’t pass when you make a run from midfield and shoots anyway because they’re the striker. I mean this isn’t premier league and your not Thierry Henry just pass the fecking ball.

The Salah type players too can be annoying making everyone wait in the box only for them to feint and shoot, gets to a point everyone knows what they’re going to do so it just becomes static.

The guy that busts a blood vessel shouting when you can’t track back that one time because you’re fecked from running.

 

[limerickcitykid]

The guys who refuse to pass to anyone unless they’re miles open. Just because you’re so shit that you need 20 yards around you to work with doesn’t mean we all do. The defender behind me isn’t doing shit, just give me the fecking ball already. Fecking pisses me off people who refuse to try play in tight spaces.

 

[redDNA]

The 'defender' who always moan about strikers not scoring goals, and leaves his defense to go and score .

The dribbler who appears to be a good player to the spectators, but killing the game with an extra dribble, Cruyff turn and leg over.

 

[arthurka]

The always complaining types but they never ever have anything else to offer, but they call this leadership skills. Also the wannabe hardman that can't take being hard when it's being dished to him.

Never had the best skills myself but had good foundation tech with a engine and grit to go with it. In your face type of player that never ever ran out of steam. I just hated players who didn't give their all all the time just didn't get it

 

[tomaldinho1]

The head down, shoot from everywhere guy. After a couple of games with them you just stop making runs and the worst part is they score a banger every 4-5 games that seems to give them some vindication that the 10+ terrible piledrivers they smashed wide/over the bar are forgotten.

Flip side to this thread is who you like playing with...best for me are the old masters, often have some random brand boots like Le Coq Sportif or Kappa and, though immobile, they just run the show from deep with crisp passes on the floor (literally never a lofted ball). That or the essential guy who loves being a keeper and even has one of those GK tops with the padded arms.

 

[redmanc]

Defenders who think launching the ball 50 yards to the forward and bypassing half your team is good football.

 

[Pink Moon]

The guy that never passes.

The fat guy that just stands up front but always has an impeccable touch can be a blessing or a curse depending whose team he is in.

Absolute worst though are the cretins who don't even volunteer to take a turn in goals.

 

[Schneiderman]

Worse than the guy that never passes, the guy that passes too late. Sees you in space, delays the pass until you're marked, then attempts to play it and complains that nobody is moving for him.

 

[OleBoiii]

For me it's a toss-up between:

The Shouter with no self-awareness
He'll scream and yell at his team mates as if he's playing a CL final. On top of this he severely overestimates his own abilities. He'll totally miss-hit a pass and blame his team mate. Through screaming, of course. I genuinely can't stand this guy.

and

The unintentional wrecking ball
This guy comes in two forms: the one who just can't play football and the one who can play, but is clumsy as hell. The first guy will injure you simply because he has no control over his body. He doesn't know how to "break", so he'll constantly crash into you or step on your foot 5 seconds after you passed the ball. The other guy is pretty much the same, but instead of crashing into you he'll impale you with his razor sharp knees and elbows.

 

[Albin Johansson]

The winger or fullback that can only hit a cross by shooting a hard wrist shot from the flank. Valencia did it way to often. And alexander büttner as well. I feel that it often comes with an annoying personaility, like being really passionate about steven gerrard and john Arne Riise. It only makes them look dumb as feck though since it's more about them trying to prove their alpha-ness in a situation where a decent ordinary cross would've been just fine. Instead they just waste chance after chance shooting it in the box without thinking.

 

[criticalanalysis]

I'm getting PTSD just reading and thinking of all these scenarios in our weekly games