Some Good Vidic Jokes

[Colly]

When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.

The chief export of Nemanja Vidic is Pain.

Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there
was a stripper in it.

Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his
own rage.

Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of
the team for being early

Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him
blink.

Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the
courage to tell him.

Nemanja Vidic doesn't head the ball away, the ball heads the other way.

The 'big bang' was a Nemanja Vidic tackle.

Nemanja Vidic plays international football for Serbia & Montenegro because
he didn't feel like choosing.

 

[bananaman]

brilliant

 

[ih8cheatskiscum]

I have a good one:

John Terry is as good as Vidic

 

[Raoul]

Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

 

[Colly]

I have a good one:

John Terry is as good as Vidic

That's the best of the lot !!

 

[Danny Meehan]

There are a lot more on this classic thread

https://www.redcafe.net/showthread.php?t=110745

 

[Sarni]

He plays for Serbia, not Serbia & Montenegro.

 

[redmanc]

Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the
courage to tell him.

quality

 

[SiYuan]

Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of
the team for being early

 

[Freak]

When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.

 

[kelvinhole]

Tweety tawt he saw a pussycat - no he didn't - he saw fourteen stone of Nemanja Vidic and moved to left back.

After a main course of opposition centre-forward, Nemanja Vidic uses Darren Fletcher as a toothpick.

Wes Brown isn't injured - Nemanja Vidic mistook him for a jaffa cake.

My favourites

 

[Dev]

There are a lot more on this classic thread

https://www.redcafe.net/showthread.php?t=110745

Class thread, was that.

 

[Wizard Keyaz]

This thread is awesome, really liked them!

 

[relx]

Brilliant.

 

[DanNistelrooy]

Remember these!
Class!

 

[relx]

Nemanja Vidic sacked Fergie and sold Giggs.

 

[MarylandMUFan]

Chuck Norris anyone?

 

[Don16]

They're all ancient Chuck Norris jokes...

 

[Diver]

Chuck Norris anyone?

sounded familiar.


They are still great tho.

 

[R*v*N]

cool

 

[Devilton]

Got these sent to me today. They sound like Chuck Norris jokes, but i haven't heard a few of them and they were quite funny. Enjoy...


Nemanja Vidic doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Nemanja Vidic has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

Nemanja Vidic killed the dead sea.

If you spell ‘Nemanja Vidicc’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Nemanja Vidic?” It simply replies, “Run...while you still have the chance.”

Nemanja Vidic can play the violin, with a piano.

Nemanja Vidic once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!

Nemanja Vidic once ordered a Double Whopper with Cheese at McDonald’s, and got it.

If Nemanja Vidic was born 100 years earlier, Yugoslavia would have fought to get independence from Serbia.

When Nemanja Vidic logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

Nemanja Vidic knows Victoria’s secret.

Nemanja Vidic can divide by zero.

Nemanja Vidic has counted to infinity, twice.

When Nemanja Vidic gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

 

[Woodzy]

If you spell ‘Nemanja Vidicc’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Nemanja Vidic?” It simply replies, “Run...while you still have the chance.”

No it doesn't, I just checked.

 

[McGrathsipan]

Chuck Norris anyone?

Plagiarism .. Funny shit all the same

 

[Thoraximus]

Chuck Norris anyone?

They're all ancient Chuck Norris jokes...

Yup.
Olde.

Still funny, I guess.