The Brendan & Gerrard Show

[SteveJ]

GERRARD DEMANDS DERBY REMATCH

Rangers boss Amadeus Gerrard insists that the 'Gers clash with Celtic be replayed because his team lost. "I can't believe that the referee blew for full-time without my permission. This was blatantly the worst decision since I turned down Chelsea and stayed at Liverpool."

Rangers are now 7th, four points behind Celtic and seven points behind runaway leaders Monster Munch Factory Workers FC.

Meanwhile in Gotham City, Hoops manager Brendan Rodgers hosted a celebratory party along with his fiancé Mahoghany and special guest Roxanne Pallet (pictured):

 

[Eboue]

nice cairn

 

[Jojo <3 Mou]

The saga continues.......
I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

 

[Cantonagotmehere]

The thread title. Thumbs up.

 

[Sassy Colin]

Who is this DavidDeSchmikes? Stevie J's second account or his budding apprentice?

 

[DavidDeSchmikes]

Who is this DavidDeSchmikes? Stevie J's second account or his budding apprentice?

Stevie J is the level I aspire to be

 

[SteveJ]

'Stevie J' sounds suspiciously like 'Stevie G'! I'm onto him!
*arrests self*

 

[Random Task]

GERRARD DEMANDS DERBY REMATCH

Rangers boss Amadeus Gerrard insists that the 'Gers clash with Celtic be replayed because his team lost. "I can't believe that the referee blew for full-time without my permission. This was blatantly the worst decision since I turned down Chelsea and stayed at Liverpool."

Rangers are now 7th, four points behind Celtic and seven points behind runaway leaders Monster Munch Factory Workers FC.

Meanwhile in Gotham City, Hoops manager Brendan Rodgers hosted a celebratory party along with his fiancé Mahoghany and special guest Roxanne Pallet (pictured):

This is too funny.

 

[DavidDeSchmikes]

Brand Brendan Boosted By Bhoys Beating Bendnter

Wasn't just the weather that got Brendan wet

The property tycoon, Brendan 'The Brand' Rodgers took a massive scalp in the Europa League, defeating Bendnter FC (featuring internet meme Sir Lord Nicklas Bendnter CBE, LOL, MBE).

A player like Bendnter is one in a million. He has won Serie A, German Cup, German SuperCup, Runner Up in the English league cup, scored more goals for his Denmark than Messi has plus he has a lovely bungalow in the Faroes (Brand Bendnter's Bungalow of Brilliance)

Brendan, speaking from his house (Breningham Palace) was slightly bitter by the fact that Steven Gerrard's 2-2 draw overshadowed his 1-0 win; a bit like Amadeus and Salieri.

Look, i'm happy for the young pretender for his victory in Spain. I mean the last time I saw a Scouser happy with a 2-2 draw, it involved Jurgen Klopp doing a fecking victory salute to the Kop after drawing against West Brom. West fecking Brom managed by Tony Pulis. Can you imagine if Celtic and Brendan Rodgers celebrated a draw against St Mirren, Dundee, the Hair Bear Bunch, or Rangers?

 

[SteveJ]

scored more goals for his Denmark than Messi has

 

[SteveJ]

Rodgers in Crisis+Rodgers in Crisis+Rodgers in Crisis+etc

It's all going pear-shaped for McBrendan and his childhood club Swansea Liverpool Celtic, as they lose 2-1 to Kilmarnock Pensioners. Celtic now languish in 5th place and - worse - Amadeus Gerrard's Rangers can go above them by beating Quality Street today.

McBrendan has nobly deflected criticism of himself by claiming that this season's Celtic is 'not a patch' on his treble-winning teams.

Meanwhile, he's binned last week's fiancees and ordered a new one from Russia, named Trampolina.

 

[DomesticTadpole]

Rodgers in Crisis+Rodgers in Crisis+Rodgers in Crisis+etc

It's all going pear-shaped for McBrendan and his childhood club Swansea Liverpool Celtic, as they lose 2-1 to Kilmarnock Pensioners. Celtic now languish in 5th place and - worse - Amadeus Gerrard's Rangers can go above them by beating Quality Street today.

McBrendan has nobly deflected criticism of himself by claiming that this season's Celtic is 'not a patch' on his treble-winning teams.

Meanwhile, he's binned last week's fiancees and ordered a new one from Russia, named Trampolina.

 

[SteveJ]

And now a genuine quote from Brendan, speaking after Celtic's worst start to a league campaign for twenty years:

Boss Rodgers reckons turning around their erratic start is his toughest job yet.

Asked if this is his biggest challenge, he said: “It is. It’s a challenge. We have to accept that. There’s no doubt we need to be better.

“When you’re at the biggest clubs and you don’t win the heat comes onto you.

“That’s when you show you’re a Celtic player, manager or member of staff. You come together. When you lose games the spotlight will always be on you".

 

[SteveJ]

Meanwhile, Amadeus made me laugh at the sheer scale of his lofty ambitions:

“Now it’s about getting into the semis of the Betfred Cup".

 

[nore1975]

Brendan was fortunate to inherit a strong squad from Ronny Deila. He made smart additions in Sinclair and Dembele. He did very well to up the performance of the squad he inherited plus add the aforementioned. However his signings since winning the first treble have been very poor coupled with losing Dembele and Armstrong leaves his squad weakened. He also is poor at assembling a good defence which was his Achilles heel in 2013-14 Season with Liverpool. It is a major problem for Celtic at the moment. Problem is if I were Peter Lawwell I would be slow to give Rodgers funds as his record in the transfer market both at Celtic and Liverpool was poor. Roughly 2/10 signings worked for him at Liverpool. He also doesn't help himself with how much he loves himself. It is extremely irritating.

 

[tomaldinho1]

Brendan 'The Brand' Rodgers haha. So apt.

 

[Pink Moon]

Brendan was fortunate to inherit a strong squad from Ronny Deila. He made smart additions in Sinclair and Dembele. He did very well to up the performance of the squad he inherited plus add the aforementioned. However his signings since winning the first treble have been very poor coupled with losing Dembele and Armstrong leaves his squad weakened. He also is poor at assembling a good defence which was his Achilles heel in 2013-14 Season with Liverpool. It is a major problem for Celtic at the moment. Problem is if I were Peter Lawwell I would be slow to give Rodgers funds as his record in the transfer market both at Celtic and Liverpool was poor. Roughly 2/10 signings worked for him at Liverpool. He also doesn't help himself with how much he loves himself. It is extremely irritating.

Peter Lawwell is slow to give any manager funds. He's a cnut and the sooner he fecks off the better.

 

[Sassy Colin]

Peter Lawwell is slow to give any manager funds. He's a cnut and the sooner he fecks off the better.

Why should he, they've cake walked the league for last umpteen years anyway. This is the first year they've had any sort of challenge.

 

[SteveJ]

This is the first year they've had any sort of challenge.

Thanks, but I think you're overstating the importance of this thread.

 

[Sassy Colin]

Thanks, but I think you're overstating the importance of this thread.

The challenge of the Stevie G thread, I mean.

 

[SteveJ]

 

[giorno]

"Character: the Brendan Rodgers Story"

Coming soon in Hollywood Brendan's interviews. We're three straight wins away

 

[SteveJ]

Brendan on the brink as Celtic crash out of Scotland

W - 0 P-45
It's another of those famous European nights featuring Brendan, as his Celtic suicide squad lose 3-1 to Real Sainsbury's.

Jammy Rodgers
"We started well, but it was the finishing well bit that was the problem," Rodgers told GQ, "We just needed that wee bit of luck to avoid a historical first: being relegated from Europe and having to play with Japanese subtitles."

Take him away, Moyes
Rodgers is now the bookies' odds-on favourite to lose his job, ahead of PM Theresa May and Jose Mourinho of Manchester Divided. And waiting impatiently in the wings, like a cartoon vulture, while talking to the press non-stop about his beloved Celtic is Champions League-level manager David Moyes, 103...

Related stories:

Moyes: "I've been a Celtic fan all my life"
Moyes: "...and possibly before that, when I was Napoleon"
Moyes on beleaguered Brendan: "It's time for you to go"
Beleaguered Brendan on Moyes: "It's time for you to f*ck off"
Rodgers: "You'd think the fans would be happy after 46 quintuples in two seasons..."
Chris Sutton: "I'll say any old shit for ready cash"
Glasgow news: Sunbed for sale

 

[Minimalist]

Bravo Steve.

 

[Black Adder]

Best thread on Caf!

 

[SteveJ]

Gerrard conquers Universe

Steven Amadeus Gerrard MBE put himself in the shop window for a real job after Rangers triumphed over Betamax FC in the Euroglass Trophy. The 'Gers boss was delighted by the excellent result:

"I was delighted by the excellent result. I'm very proud of myself, my players, my stadium, my planet, but mainly myself. But it's not all about me. Alright, it is."

Given his side's 3-1 victory, Rangers' supreme leader could afford to be magnanimous about the referee's controversial performance, in which the official refused to give Rangers a bye to the Final. Yet Gerrard nevertheless claimed that the opposition's goal was offside and that all Rangers' goals should win the Puskas Award. "I'll be having a word with the referee, and that word will be 'twat'. More importantly, I'm doing better than Brendan in Europe...though that's not exactly difficult, is it? I mean, we're talking about a coach who once selected his budgie against Real Madrid. Still, not taking anything away from myself - this was a magnificent victory, and I'm fantastic."

Rangers return to action on Saturday, when they face league leaders Bay City Rollers.

 

[amolbhatia50k]

"I was delighted by the excellent result. I'm very proud of myself, my players, my stadium, my planet, but mainly myself. But it's not all about me. Alright, it is."

"I'll be having a word with the referee, and that word will be 'twat'.

That's just brilliant. You're too talented for us, Steve.

 

[worldinmotion66]

Still, not taking anything away from myself - this was a magnificent victory, and I'm fantastic."

I can actually imagine him saying this

 

[Slevs]

Gerrard conquers Universe

Yet Gerrard nevertheless claimed that the opposition's goal was offside and that all Rangers' goals should win the Puskas Award. "I'll be having a word with the referee, and that word will be 'twat'

 

[SteveJ]

Brendan Rodgers has moved to distance himself from reports that he's not getting the United job, after Jose Mourinho was sacked by the Daily Mirror.

 

[Van Piorsing]

 

[DavidDeSchmikes]

I was delighted by the excellent result. I'm very proud of myself, my players, my stadium, my planet, but mainly myself. But it's not all about me. Alright, it is.

Take him away, Moyes

Make him away, Toyes

 

[SteveJ]

Make him away, Toyes

 

[KirkDuyt]

How'd miss this thread, brilliant

 

[SteveJ]

Brendan on the dole Brink (yet again)

Brendan Rodgers - a man who knows no limits, no fear, and no bus drivers - is on the brink of leaving Celtic after the board refused to match his ambitions, including being the first manager in space.

"It's very hard to motivate a high-achiever like myself when..um...myself is used to better things such as the Champions League and Harrods in the Wirral," said the Bhoys boss, "And myself formerly nutured global megastars like the popular Luis Suarez, who I turned into a household name with the help of Patrice Evra, Branislav Ivanović, Giorgio Chiellini and Lucy Harker. So when I go to the Celtic board asking for ten quid to sign Jermaine Pennant and they tell me there's no money, Brendan Rodgers is not impressed and neither is myself. In short, I'm advertising myself on Gumtree, along with skips for hire and Norwegian black metal bands wanting non-smoking drummers. I am also available for weddings, childrens' parties, Bar Mitzvahs; oh, and Premier League jobs. I thank you."

Rodgers added that yesterday's 489-0 victory over league leaders Atari Rovers had not changed his mind about leaving for pastures new.

 

[SteveJ]

Oh dear.

 

[Amar__]

Titles: Mr

 

[Amar__]

Meanwhile, the former Community Shield winner rubbished any notions of the 'Curse of Gerrard', after rival boss Brendan Rodgers used his press conference on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to sow doubts about Gerrard's prospects of success.

 

[SteveJ]

Brendan Rodgers named in FourFourTwo’s list of 50 best football managers in the world despite crashing out of Europe for the 27th time this month

Celtic boss Brendan Gatsby put losing 2-0 to RB Lipstick behind him as he successfully lobbied to be named as one of the best managers since Gordon Brittas. The man himself downplayed the recognition: "I take little notice of incredible achievements like this, despite all the deserved accolades. You know what they say - you're only as good as your last game - so unfortunately that makes me shit. Still, I'm waiting for a text from Pele congratulating me...any minute now..."

Celtic return from their European adventures when they face league leaders Pukka Pies FC at Wonga Park on Sunday.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/sp...eltic-brendan-rodgers-four-four-two-managers/

 

[Isotope]

... So when I go to the Celtic board asking for ten quid to sign Jermaine Pennant and they tell me there's no money, Brendan Rodgers is not impressed and neither is myself.

*facepalming*