Television We didn't all go to Gudger College

[R.N7]

I've been rewatching the early Simpsons seasons recently and they just never fail to deliver, outstanding television indeed. When Flanders Failed, Homer Goes to College, Deep Space Homer, Homer's Enemy...so many classic episodes.

I decided to watch the first episode of season 24 yesterday to sort of compare the quality and it's quite staggering, it's just so lethargic. I was already bored of it 5 minutes in. The jokes were flat as hell and even the voices seems to have changed over time. They even did a Family Guy style, "do you remember the time I?" (It was followed up by a nice Sweet Smell of Success reference but most of New York references felt really forced and too many at the same time) and there were of course celebrity cameos shoe-horned in to no effect whatsoever. The whole episode was sort of a call back to The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson which made it worse since that's a really good episode. The episode ended with them actually wanting people to come up with their own couch gag...just stop, stop it's already dead.

Anyway, let's rejoice and post some random great moments from the show, with a pic if you can.

 

[R.N7]

"You're letting me go?"
"Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."
"So, that's it after 20 years? So long. Good luck?"
"I don't recall saying good luck."

"Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange."
"You mean there's a better way?!"

"Troy, this circle is you."
"My god, it's like you've known me all my life!"

"There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician, and a statistician."

"All right, Hans, time to go."
"But he ate my last meal."
"Well, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky."
"Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?"
"From this point on, no talking."

 

[Massive Spanner]

Dental plan!

 

[R.N7]

"Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?"
"Yes I would, Kent."

“Hey fatty, I got a movie for ya! A Fridge Too Far!”

"Hey Marge, after your big tantrum against legalised gambling, I bet it feels pretty weird to be in a casino."
"I was for the casino."
"Strike three, Marge! I remember that meeting and I have a photographic memory."

 

[KiD MoYeS]

FLAAANNNDDERRRSSSS!!

Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Now I want you to meet your new brother: Hans Moleman.
'Cowabunga, dudes.'
Try it. It's like kissing a peanut! Heh heh heh.

 

[Eboue]

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

 

[Rado_N]

It'll do 10,000 hectares to one tank of kerosene!

 

[paceme]

'Hey look at this country, U R Gay'

 

[noodlehair]

 

[Eboue]

I'm disappointed that my post in the Old Clothes thread went unnoticed.

 

[Brophs]

Remind you of the time people told you to shave your ridiculous facial hair, noodletache?

 

[R.N7]

 

[noodlehair]

"you got any sugar around here?"
"sugar? sure, here you go......sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?"
"errrrrrrrmm, no"

 

[noodlehair]

Remind you of the time people told you to shave your ridiculous facial hair, noodletache?

I've never had a tache. So yes

 

[Mockney]

MY EYES! ZE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!

 

[Ubik]

Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.

A philantropist. A humanitarian. A man of peace. These are just a few of the men who have come to spit on Montgomery Burns' grave.

 

[Scrumpet]

Oh Puppy Goo Goo, fetch me a dream!

It's just a little airborne! It's still good, it's still good!

Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had a goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?!

 

[R.N7]

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work."

 

[17Larsson]

Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidently" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son"

 

[Mockney]

Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? Whoa, that really came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…

 

[Ubik]

 

[Massive Spanner]

Chief Wiggum: [reading a tombstone, talks into his "radio"] Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Joe Friday: That's Homer J Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.
Chief Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Joe Friday: Uh, chief, you're talking into your wallet.
[Chief Wiggum's wallet flips open]

 

[R.N7]

Oh, dear god, no!

Not Lenny!

Johnny, Johnny! Johnnyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Slow down Tubby! You're not on the moon yet!

 

[Scrumpet]

 

[Guy Incognito]

Homer, you've got it set on whore!

 

[Eboue]

Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you care about.

 

[Eboue]

 

[Scrumpet]

Homer: There there, shut up, boy. We'll just get you a new dog.
Bart: I don't want a new dog! I want Santa's Little Helper!
Homer: Well, crying isn't going to get your dog back! Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit here crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right. I'll go!
Homer: Rats, I almost had him eating dog food!

Rex Banner: "Are you the Beer Baron?"
Flanders: "Well, if you mean root beer, I plead guil-diddly-ilty as char-diddly-arged."
Rex Banner: "Well, he's not the Beer Baron, but he's drunk. Take him in."

 

[Randall Flagg]

The hank Scorpio is possibly my favourite episode

Hank Scorpio:Homer will you hang my jacket up on the wall?
Homer:erm...
Hank Scorpio:Haha, here at globex corporation we don't believe in walls, infact I didn't even give you my coat!

 

[izzydiggler]

Desperate eh??

Advantage Burns.

 

[Snow]

Was president Lincoln okay?

 

[Snow]

 

[EvilChuck]

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"

 

[R.N7]

Quiet, Lisa, the dog is barking!

I brought this wall from home!

 

[EvilChuck]

"I am tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incident occurred in 1956..."

"Now I have 4 children, I shall call you... stitch face"

 

[Wonder Pigeon]

"What do you think Smithers?"

"I think women and seamen don't mix."

"Oh we all know what you think."

 

[Solius]

"Welcome kindergarteners, I'm Principal Sinner...Skinner! [The kids laugh.] Well, that's it. I've lost them forever."

 

[Wonder Pigeon]

Well, animals are a lot like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated...but, like people, some of them are just jerks.

 

[Mockney]

Well, dang blast it, isn't anybody in this dag gummed cemetery dead?

- I didn't want to cause a fuss, but now that you mention it..

--------------

I need the biggest seed bell you have...

No, that's too big.

 

[Solius]

"We are now approaching our final destination, Itchy and Scratchy Land. The amusement park of the future where nothing can "possa-bly" go wrong. Uh, possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong."