Just now "It's an awkward chance for some, but for him it's a miss"
The Most Annoying Footballing Phrase
- Thread starter gaffs
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What's worse about Motty is that it takes him a full five minutes to figure out what's going on on the pitch, in the mean time all you hear is..
"The balls gone wide here..and who is it, yes it's err..oh and it's oh and it's... it's in, it's a goal, they've scored, they've scored Mark, it's who is it.. it's.. well what a turn around that is, 3-3 Mark"
Was watching MoTD yesterday and when Diouf missed his third chance, the commentator just had to say it: "He could have had a hattrick."
I immediately thought of this thread obviously....
I immediately thought of this thread obviously....
Bumping this for a very annoying trend ive picked up on lately. its probably been around for ages but its been more obvious in recent years with everybody wanting to act the expert with the analytical opinion on every little detail. and the fact is a lot of folk on telly and in the pub simply do not know what they are talking about. either that or they dont think about what theyre going to say and just say things that sound good in their heads. inspired b a steve claridge opinion on bbc today, but i can probably find better examples:
"For me, it was a booking for Steve Sidwell, not a red card. He did not go over the top of the ball, he caught him on the ankle"
can anyone explain to me what point hes trying to make here, other than the fact that hes saying he did not go over the top of the ball. he might he might aswell say, "its not red card, the grass is green, he caught him on the ankle". its as if hes suggesting that someone cant be red carded if they dont "go over the top of the ball". why would someone say that and think it makes sense?
"For me, it was a booking for Steve Sidwell, not a red card. He did not go over the top of the ball, he caught him on the ankle"
can anyone explain to me what point hes trying to make here, other than the fact that hes saying he did not go over the top of the ball. he might he might aswell say, "its not red card, the grass is green, he caught him on the ankle". its as if hes suggesting that someone cant be red carded if they dont "go over the top of the ball". why would someone say that and think it makes sense?
First and foremost.
Six of one, have a dozen of the other.
I'd like to go back to the days when the use of the word "technician" was solely for those who work with technology and not impish footballers.
"The ball accelerated as it bounced on the wet pitch"
Take a bow son used to really feck me off.
Any player called Matt or Scott frequently referred to as "Matty" or "Scotty".
Praising crap carthorse strikers for their aerial ability in their own box is irritating.
As is saying a player is being "professional" when they're basically pulling sneaky cheats out.
Players saying they "won the ball" when they get a tiny touch on it, yet leave their opponent smashed to pieces.
As is saying a player is being "professional" when they're basically pulling sneaky cheats out.
Players saying they "won the ball" when they get a tiny touch on it, yet leave their opponent smashed to pieces.
Andy Gray is a fecking blight on the English language. The whole Sian Massey debacle did us a massive favour.
haha.. stevie G, frankie lampard and the list goes on. steve mcmahon loves this, especially describing liverpool players.
I think what he meant was that his feet weren't high, which is a factor in deciding if it's a yellow or a red..
When an old player does something really basic like shepherding the ball out of play you'll hear 'using all his experience there', even though its somethin you'd expect a kid in U10's to know to do.
No it didn't. Hope he returns soon.
"Oh, he'll be disappointed in himself there."
Even worse, certain players are apparently so stupid that they'll only, "be disappointed when he looks at the replay later."
Even worse, certain players are apparently so stupid that they'll only, "be disappointed when he looks at the replay later."
"(insert team name) are asking all the questions now"
Does my head in hearing this. Seems to be quite common on Soccer Saturday.
Does my head in hearing this. Seems to be quite common on Soccer Saturday.
Saved by the woodwork.
Hands down, the most annoying. When the ball bounces on the line and comes out, do they say "saved by the whitewash"? The posts and crossbar outline the scoring area, when a ball hits the post and comes out, it means it wasn't on target.
Now, if Heather Mills was in goals, that might be a different matter.
Hands down, the most annoying. When the ball bounces on the line and comes out, do they say "saved by the whitewash"? The posts and crossbar outline the scoring area, when a ball hits the post and comes out, it means it wasn't on target.
Now, if Heather Mills was in goals, that might be a different matter.
When Paul Merson says something like:
"He's a top, top player, a top, top player. With him they'll create a lorry load of chances, a lorry load of chances and win a lot football matches, a lot of football matches".
"He's a top, top player, a top, top player. With him they'll create a lorry load of chances, a lorry load of chances and win a lot football matches, a lot of football matches".
When Paul Merson says anything. He's barely able to construct a sentence never mind form an educated opinion. I don't know how he got a job where his primary role is to do both of those things at the same time
Yeah. ITS plain stupie.
Sitting back conceding majority of the possession against a poor European side who don't trouble, score one goal to win 1-0 and call it a "professional" performance....
Get lost! Professional!
Get lost! Professional!
The thread title commits the worst kind of crime in my book. "Footballing". He's a footballing artist. His footballing brain is second to none. This team has a great footballing philosophy. Footballing.
Well, you're hardly going to apply general philosophy to football, instead.
"He'd have scored that if he utilized Aristotle's unmoved mover logical deduction"
You've only gone and missed the footballing point, Hoofy
That should be footballing Hoofy, my bad!
"You get what's written on the tin with this lad"
Any penalty that goes in is cool and a good penalty.
Same with "You always know what you're getting from this lad," usually reserved for players with limited abilities who don't actually stand out in football matches, like Scott Parker and the like.
"Always puts in a shift". i.e. he's technically shite but runs around a lot. Dirk Kuyt-itis.
".....and your co-commentator, Craig Burley"
"He loves to hug the wing" = He has one attribute; pace. We dare not let him go inside or else all our moves will break down.
'At the end of the day' is the worst. If you did a shot every time a caller says this on 606 or Talkshite, well you'd be pished up.
They're in a rich vein of form
'That shot's ended up in row zed'
'They like their football up here' when referring to Newcastle or Sunderland. Well yes, except when they don't fill their grounds.
'They like their football up here' when referring to Newcastle or Sunderland. Well yes, except when they don't fill their grounds.
I absolutely hate when a goal keeper kicks out but goes low, no matter how easily it finds a team mate the keepers 'scuffed' it or 'got that all wrong'. Er, maybe he was playing the ball out or something, you generally when you find a players feet that's where you were aiming a ball.
"thats a schoolboy error!" - well no, because you see it often enough at professional level...
"either side of the post and thats a goal" - er...if it was on the outer side it would be a goal kick
"hes a future england captain, surely" - whenever someone has a physique and throws himself about like john terry and plays in his position, namely phil jones
"either side of the post and thats a goal" - er...if it was on the outer side it would be a goal kick
"hes a future england captain, surely" - whenever someone has a physique and throws himself about like john terry and plays in his position, namely phil jones
"Everything goes against you when you're down at the bottom"
Usually said when some shit relegation bound team hits the post or has a flukey goal go against them. Just no.
Usually said when some shit relegation bound team hits the post or has a flukey goal go against them. Just no.
Pluralising names. e.g. "the John Terrys, the Frank Lampards..."