The recent Caf fall out....in rhyme

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Davo

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Oh yes....a classic in the making
Fo real nigga, I ain't fakin
Gather around and hear my tale
Of a spastic fallout, this just can't fail
The adventures Cafside of this week
Bring depth to the term "internet geek"
A story to make you laugh and cry
You'll shake your head and wonder why?
A fall out of such huge proportion
Like a murder? I'd say abortion...
 

Bearded but no genius

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Sad part is, ladies and gents, he's been working on that all day.

Truly a shadow of what he once was. Pity poor Davo.
 

Davo

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It all started a week ago
Or maybe more, I just don't know
I've followed vaguely from afar
I'm not sure why?, it's too bizarre
Some of my facts may not be true
The when's are out, and who is who
But bear with me whilst I regale
The Caf bonanza fall out tale
Some of the details may be wrong
It's hard to keep up with the Ihni binni dimi diniwiny anitaime
 

Davo

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It's true that tension had been growing
The Caf no longer true was flowing
But the thing that brought things to a head
And resulted in Red versus Red
Stemmed from the story of a horse
I'm talking about Ruud, of course
Jason, a retarded Yank..
He voiced his views, and to be frank
Liz cried "Who is this hairy man?
The geeky twat's good for a ban!"
 

Davo

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So off he went, and was it fair?
In honesty, I didn't care
But this was not the general view
Caftards kicked off, well one or two
They wouldn't stand for this disgrace
They'd had enough, "feck this place!
We'll start a forum of our own
It'll be great, a brand new home
We'll include porn, create bad taste
Who'll make this thing? How about Weaste?"
 

Davo

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Come now Slabber, please be fair
There's loads of facts, I just don't care
About getting every detail right
I'd never sleep, be up all night
Think of this as a passed down view
Some stuff is wrong, but most is true
As legends pass down generations
Some facts get lost within translation
This is the case with this vast rhyme
About spastics, fighting, whilst online
 

Davo

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Right where was I? I've lost track..
That's right, Jason still wasn't back
But things had now pushed on a bit
I was expecting angry hissy fits
Instead a invite by PM
A new forum, a great, a gem
Off I went to see the sight
It looked dead strange, but worked alright
And populated by the gang
The new exclusive exile clan
 

Davo

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I think this may have happened next?
French took a call, hoping for sex
Or at least a friendly circle jerk
One of the net's many new perks
Instead an Irish voice was heard
Gruff and ropey, like Jason's beard
The caller claimed that he was Chaz
And started acting like a spaz
The call's continued, it twas surreal
Plea's and threats, talk of a meal
 

Davo

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I reckon I've left something out
Something to do with "gash" and "clout"
Some Caf ladies were in bad moods
They like a laugh "We ain't no prudes
But enough's enough, you've gone too far
For the Caf's course, you've breached your par"
It all kicked off over on Tod
Like days of old, with Jo and Rod
Annoyed with Caf males acting randy
They burned their bras, and blamed Big Andy
 

Davo

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Jason, you'd be right to do that
Don't have a go, don't act the twat
Sit back, relax, enjoy the show
You may know where the end will go
But tales that are not told in rhyme
Aren't worth their salt, they are a crime
And lust for chaos is now satisfied
As Weaste's Caf modship was ratified
"Emergency" Spoons and Slabs did cry
No turning back, not worth a try
 

Dubai_Devil

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You know Davo, you're very funny when you can actually be arsed.
 

Davo

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The Caf mods put their heads together
A plan was formed, now hell for leather
Would be paid, on the new place
"Wipe that smile from Slabber's face
And Spoony to, he won't like this
Such sneaky tactics take the piss"
Is one version of what happened next
And thus committed to this text
Caf Mods say that they're innocent
Slabber says Weastie is a "cnut"
 

Davo

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The battles raged upon my screen
Such gayness I had never seen
Posters who had once been such fun
Now girly fairies, What had been done?
Slabber, Spoony, talking shit
Noodle pleading just "leave it"
Weaste making threats, "I'll delete it all
If I can't play, I'll take my ball"
Mods getting angry, shout followed shout
and Pletch getting his knob right out
 

Davo

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So where are we now, I just don't know?
I haven't followed blow by blow
I've watched the Arse go down 2-1
I blame their keeper, the fecking Hun
Sol tried to keep their dreams alive
But they're not us, no 18-5
But anyway, now I digress
So what's next for this Caf feud mess?
We soon shall see, and at that time
I'll tell the tale, in verse, in rhyme
 
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