The United Flu? - What diabolical illnesses ravage us but lets City off the hook?

Berbasbullet

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Well, you have the motivation, but I don’t see the evidence :)
Maybe! I think Carl Anka said he does that in an episode of TOTD a while back. You might be right though, although makes more sense to me than about 10 illnesses in 5 months.
 

JediSith

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Rashford had norovirus, and then somehow was in the squad for the Liverpool game. Missed 1 midweek game.
Absolutely terrible.. can feel great in the morning and awful by late afternoon. But by the next day it can be mostly gone
 

RedDevil@84

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It's the chef. He is still waiting for the club to deliver an apology letter from CR7.
 

Red in STL

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I'm guessing the chicken might have something to do with it
 

Murder on Zidane's Floor

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Couldn’t find a thread, but it’s been mentioned a lot: It seems like, apart from injuries, that United have had a lot of absences through illness this season, much mote than other teams from what I can see through rapid googling.

Wan-Bissaka, Shaw, Reguilon, Rashford, Martial, Lindelöf, Varane, Højlund, Eriksen and Diallo have all missed matches this season specified as illness, not injury. And that’s just from the top of my head. This strines me as unusual, apart from the period when Covid was new. Is this true? Or is it just own club negativity bias (OCNB). Or Ten Hag being more specific than other coaches on reasons for absence? (Don’t think so).

If it is true, then why? Lax quarantine praxis? STD-s ravaging a metrosexual squad more tight knit than ever? Bouts of virae local to Greater Manchester Area? Why aren’t City stricken then?

What say ye, Forum Physicians, Medical Muppets, Sickness Speculants, Absence Analytics and Queasiness Quacks?
Way of excluding players out the squad, for a variety of reasons including limiting appearance fees etc
 

Tyrion

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I mean you are the bastard son of Aerys Targeryan. Not much luck comes your way
Sometimes I forget that name comes from GOT because since the show ended I have started to just associate it with the caf. Thanks for the reminder :lol:
 

Tincanalley

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Just thought Eric (incorrectly) uses the term illness to cover a range of issues including minor injuries.
That said, if they are really illnesses like colds and flu we need to consider getting Beechams as our next sponsor.
He issshh shuffering from illness (sic)
 

Grande

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Way of excluding players out the squad, for a variety of reasons including limiting appearance fees etc
Now this is more the conspiratorial mode I was looking for. Better than ‘I just think hamstring is called ijlneeszs in Dutch’.

Former Molde coach Åge Hareide once left out team star Daniel Berg Hestad citing illness, later it turned out the coach had had an affair with the player’s wife. Maybe, just maybe Eric put Ten Hags under the Christmas tree? Eric ten WAG?
 

TheRedHearted

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Now this is more the conspiratorial mode I was looking for. Better than ‘I just think hamstring is called ijlneeszs in Dutch’.

Former Molde coach Åge Hareide once left out team star Daniel Berg Hestad citing illness, later it turned out the coach had had an affair with the player’s wife. Maybe, just maybe Eric put Ten Hags under the Christmas tree? Eric ten WAG?
Erik Ten Shags, Erik Ten Stag.
 

The Mitcher

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Maybe city players play through sniffles and slight tummy aches? Who knows!
 

Bojan Djordjic

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Perhaps food poisoning from the kitchen that failed its food health and safety inspection lately.
 

macheda14

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‘It’s the food’ - I always wonder when you see the same joke in a thread ten times if each poster thinks they are being unique or has read the other ones and just decides they can word it better.
 

Peter van der Gea

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There's no juice, only water at Carrington, so no matter the illness, you have to sort your fruit juices wherever you can, Belfast, China, wherever
 

Revaulx

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The food at United is, if anything, too scrummy.

Is there another big club that has had so many players in recent history that look like they’ve got weight issues?

Rooney
Anderson
Shaw
Schweinsteiger
Lukaku
Casemiro

Probably others I’ve forgotten
 

Bubz27

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Racing case of the unprofessionalisms.
 

Grande

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The food at United is, if anything, too scrummy.

Is there another big club that has had so many players in recent history that look like they’ve got weight issues?

Rooney
Anderson
Shaw
Schweinsteiger
Lukaku
Casemiro

Probably others I’ve forgotten
Liverpool in the nineties: Neil Ruddock, Julian Dicks, and the elderly versions of Jan Mølby and John Barnes. They used to say to Mølby to stay ahead of the middle line or the pitch would tip.
 

Revaulx

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Liverpool in the nineties: Neil Ruddock, Julian Dicks, and the elderly versions of Jan Mølby and John Barnes. They used to say to Mølby to stay ahead of the middle line or the pitch would tip.
True.

Graeme Souness did a truly remarkable job transforming an ageing but still very good team into a bunch of fat cloggers.