Let me tell ye a story ol boy, come gather round. Once upon a time, Florida Man was a devout Christian who’s spent his Sundays at Baptist, Catholic, and Methodist churches when he was growing up in the Florida panhandle, which is redneck riviera as far you’re concerned. Florida Man has also been to church in Georgia and has seen programs of other churches from elsewhere in the South. The Methodist Church, the most chilled out one of the group, tried to convince Florida Man that evolution wasn’t real by showing him a picture of a beetle. The end.
Now this is a story all about how
Florida Man's life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just let me say
I'll tell you how he became the prince of a place called RedCafé
In the Florida panhandle, born and raised
In the churches is where he spent most of his days
Chilling out, praying, judging all cool
And all handing out some bibles outside of the school
When a couple of methodists thought evolution was no good
Started making trouble in the neighborhood
He got in one little debate, and his mom got scared
And said "You're moving with Raoul and Eboue in RedCafé"
Someone else can finish my masterpiece, I have to go back to work.