Your XI made up of duff signings

paulscholes18

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Taibi
Dalot Prunier Blanc Buttner
Djemba-Djemba Miller Kleberson
Obertan Sanchez Bebe
 

Red Stone

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Are we trying to make the worst possible XI based on their performances here or the best possible team with players that for whatever reason didn't work out here or a team of players who most failed to live up to the hype and/or price tag?
 

Moston Red

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Valdes
Darmian
Rojo
Bailly
Telles

Van De Beek
Schneiderlin
Schweinsteiger

Memphis
Antony
Sancho
Going with this....but could possibly swap out Antony for Angel Di Maria or Sanchez or Falcao or Martial.

The list could go on but I'll keep this post SAF, as SAF could always uncover a rough diamond, even though he did often fail.
 
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ScholesyTheWise

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Hmm. so much dross to choose from.

-----------------Taibi---------------
---Darmian--Bailly--Rojo--Telles----
---Sancho--Schneiderlin--Djemba-Obertan--
-----Falcao----Weghorst


trying to form another one:

--------------Valdes-----------
--RB-----Maguire--Lindeloef----Buettner
----Bebe (Antony also)---Schweinsteiger---VdB---Alexis Sanches
--------Dong Fangzhou---------Memphis




RB- who else did we have that was a bit crap?
I hated Ashley Young but he was an OK signing all in all, and was hardly ever played on the right side of defense.
 

iamdpef

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GK Taibi - Always thought this guy was a disaster. Barthez actually had solid PL winning seasons in 2001 and 2003. Also can't remember Barthez ever conceding a goal by penalty shoot out either

RB Darmian - Started off looking very solid in the first month of his first season then he just went downwards
RCB Bailly - He had a solid first year but then just turned into a disaster. Can't put Maguire here because his first 2 seasons were pretty good for us.
LCB Rojo - Just another disaster
LB Buttner - He didn't get much chance but I can't put Telles here because Telles was signed to push Luke Shaw on. Having Telles behind him suddenly turned him into Shawberto Carlos

CM Kleberson - I had high hopes for this guy after his 2002 WC performances but he was a let down. Veron wasn't nearly as bad as people made him out to be. He was just expensive that's all
CM Schneiderlin - I cannot remember a single performance by him. Thought it was an amazing signing then his first season was just bad

RW Sanchez - Probably the biggest flop we've ever had. Such an expensive signing and every single game he was utter shite
CAM Mkhitaryan - I wanted to put Pogba here but Pogba has had some very good games and saved our asses in some games. Can't remember Mkhitaryan having a good game.
LW Di Maria - Looked like an amazing signing up until we played Leicester City in that 5-3 loss then he turned shite. Had a class assist at Juanfield later on in the season but it's not enough to take him out of this team. Also can't stand the rat faced cnut

ST Martial - He's had a couple of good seasons for us but at the same time he's been so disappointing. This guy could've been one of the best strikers in the world right now but his lazy attitude and injuries have let him down. Lukaku would've been here but I always thought he had a very good first season and an ok-ish second season. He was just expensive
 

Sparky Rhiwabon

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Barthez
Wan Bissaka Maguire Bailly Telles
Pogba Schweinsteiger
Antony Di Maria Sancho
Lukaku


You have to take cost into account here
 

simonhch

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I’m going to go for an XI that was either signed for big money or on massive wages. Because small cheap deals that didn’t work out, doesn’t really hurt anyone. Most are punts that you half expect not to work out but sometimes turn out to be gems.

Onana - Signed for 43m. Supposed to be an upgrade on De Gea, but despite being handy with his feet, is borderline useless with his hands. Pretty fundamental for a goalkeeper. Maybe with time I’ll be proven wrong.

Telles - Not the most expensive, came in at something like 14-17m but was completely hopeless. Not up to PL standard, let alone United standard.

Maguire - I don’t hate on the lad like some. He’s been okay for decent spells, without ever being outright good. And has been terrible for decent spells too. Which for a world record defender is pretty tragic.

Bailly - 32m for an utter disaster of a player. Couldn’t head the ball to save his life. Was always on a knife edge between brilliant last gasp tackle and complete brain fart meltdown. Usually the latter. Constantly injured.

Darmian - 17m and was meant to be the solution at RB. Signed for LVG ball. Looked great for one game. After which became a complete non entity. The most uncompetitive defender I’ve seen for a long time.

Schweinsteiger - 10m and 300+K a week. His legs were gone by the time he came.

Van Der Beek - 34m and was supposed to be a sort of ace in the hole type player. Not guaranteed to start but should’ve been pushing hard to break the first XI. Key part of that Ajax team. A player nobody said we needed. He came, he saw, he did nothing.

Di Maria - 65m and was clear he didn’t want to be here from day one. The mental fortitude of a bowl of jelly. Wife slagged off the club and city after they left.

Sancho - 77m for a player who has never looked fit, or firing on all cylinders. Can list the number of good games on one hand. Huge wages, huge fee, huge disappointment, and probably a huge loss. Disappeared up his own arse.

Sanchez - 500k a week. Had to pay him to leave. Played the piano and not much else.

Antony - 84m and it couldn’t have been anyone else. The embodiment of what happens when you give a manager under pressure to deliver control over transfers. Signs a player he’s worked with before that the club has done little to no scouting or background work on. Also turns out he’s a scumbag.

Subs: Barthez, Rojo, Schneiderlin, Depay, Falcao, Martial
 

WakeAndBeek

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Going more for the disappointment angle rather than the player purely being not very good:

Barthez

Darmian
Maguire
Bailly
Telles

Schneiderin
Schweinstieger
Pogba

Sanchez
Falcao
Depay
 

Snow

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Barthez______Huge disappointment. A calamity.

Parker_______Never lived up to the hype. Injured for a long time and usurped by a teenager
Bailly________Used up all our medical equipment
Jones_______Giving him a new contract back in 2019 is arguably our worst business.
Büttner______Gets the nod over Telles because at least you can see it with Telles.

Pogba_______Didn't deliver
van de Beek_ Done nothing
Schneiderlin_ Did nothing

Antony_______Way too much money for what he does on the pitch
Sancho______ Our worst ever signing
Ronaldo______The 2nd time. Can't look past his behavior and the way he left the club. Completely tarnished his legacy.
 

Alex99

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Trying to balance fee, expectations and performance so as not to just fill it with shite like Dong, Bellion and Tosic:

GK - Barthez - World Cup winner that was a always a disaster waiting to happen.

RB - Darmian - made Paddy McNair and Donald Love look like hot prospects.

CB - Bailly - forever waiting for him to either do something daft, get injured, or injure himself doing something daft. The Barthez of defenders.

CB - Rojo - another disaster waiting to happen. Shit toast.

LB - Telles - thought he'd give Shaw some serious competition. Can't remember a single thing he did.

CM - Pogba - expensive clown that had about six good games then fecked off on a free again.

CM - van de Beek - genuinely not sure what he's supposed to be good at. Reckon we could just grab someone reasonably fit from the crowd and they'd do as much.

CM - Veron - was very excited for this one. Crap for us. Crap for Chelsea.

RM - Antony - tries hard but doesn't actually do the things we spent a lot for him to do

LM - Sancho - Expensive baby man

CF - Lukaku - scored some goals but ultimately an expensive lump that no club actually ever wants

Honourable mentions:

Sanchez - broke the wage structure and was consistently total shite.

Falcao - fortunately just a loan but played like he was hungover.

Di Maria - actually looked good for a bit but clearly never wanted to sign, then clocked off mid-season.

Memphis - we'll always have Brugge.

Fellaini - had his uses. Never a United player.

Schweinsteiger - Bayern Schwindled us.

Schneiderlin - Seemed to forget how to play football after signing for us. Played like he was scared.

Kagawa - the first Dortmund flop. We'll always have Norwich.

Mkhitariyan - the second Dortmund flop. His flop gave us Sanchez. Did a cool goal once.

Ronaldo (return) - not as good as he thought he was do he acted the cnut and is basically solely responsible for a huge divide in the fanbase.

Maguire - good for a bit and still has his uses. Not worth the fee and not captain material.

Forlan - inexplicably good after leaving. Made the scousers cry but can't help but feel like we should have had much more from him.

Anderson - cracking penalty. Never developed anything but his waistline.

Hargreaves - cracking penalty. Glass bones and paper skin.
 

Old Ma Crow

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Taibi
Bailly Prunier Rojo
Di Maria Schneiderlin Van de Beek Antony
Bebe Sancho Sanchez
 

Plant0x84

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GK Taibi - Always thought this guy was a disaster. Barthez actually had solid PL winning seasons in 2001 and 2003. Also can't remember Barthez ever conceding a goal by penalty shoot out either

RB Darmian - Started off looking very solid in the first month of his first season then he just went downwards
RCB Bailly - He had a solid first year but then just turned into a disaster. Can't put Maguire here because his first 2 seasons were pretty good for us.
LCB Rojo - Just another disaster
LB Buttner - He didn't get much chance but I can't put Telles here because Telles was signed to push Luke Shaw on. Having Telles behind him suddenly turned him into Shawberto Carlos

CM Kleberson - I had high hopes for this guy after his 2002 WC performances but he was a let down. Veron wasn't nearly as bad as people made him out to be. He was just expensive that's all
CM Schneiderlin - I cannot remember a single performance by him. Thought it was an amazing signing then his first season was just bad

RW Sanchez - Probably the biggest flop we've ever had. Such an expensive signing and every single game he was utter shite
CAM Mkhitaryan - I wanted to put Pogba here but Pogba has had some very good games and saved our asses in some games. Can't remember Mkhitaryan having a good game.
LW Di Maria -
Looked like an amazing signing up until we played Leicester City in that 5-3 loss then he turned shite. Had a class assist at Juanfield later on in the season but it's not enough to take him out of this team. Also can't stand the rat faced cnut

ST Martial - He's had a couple of good seasons for us but at the same time he's been so disappointing. This guy could've been one of the best strikers in the world right now but his lazy attitude and injuries have let him down. Lukaku would've been here but I always thought he had a very good first season and an ok-ish second season. He was just expensive
Didn’t Mkhi basically win the EL for Jose all on his own? There was that back heel flick goal too. He was OK, I was sad he was swapped for Sanchez, even though at the time I wanted Sanchez baaad. Unfortunately he was really bad!
 

gregwar

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Mostly taking into account hype and money spent.

Carroll
Darmian
Bailly
Rojo
Telles
Schneiderlin
van de Beek
Depay
Sanchez
Sancho
Martial

Mentions for Falcao, Weghorst, Di Maria, Mkhitaryan, Lukaku, Pogba. I won't include youth system players (Richardson, Gibson), or lads we took a punt on (Bebe, Djemba x2, Kleberson, Bellion) , otherwise I could make 2/3 squads.
 

noodlehair

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Your Lindelof hate is bizarre. Sure he lacks in aggression and is clearly not at the level we aspire to but he's always worked hard, never once complained and by all accounts appears to be a lovely bloke.

I really don't understand why you single him out ahead of the many, many players who deserve it more. He's far, far down the list of problems and always has been.
He'd be pretty high on my list just because of the amount of times he could easily deal with a situation but outright refuses to be proactive. It's cost us quite a lot of important goals.

What really winds me up is when the ball will be going TOWARDS him, and he'll already be closer to it than the opposition forward, and yet he invariably backs off and let's them collect the ball and run at him, and doesn't even attempt to stand his ground until they're in close shooting range. Most defenders would simoly collect the ball as it comes towards them and that would be the end of that.

We've had worse centrebacks but at least you know they are either shite, insane, or both. Or are just injured for longer than most player's careers. Lindelof fools you into thinking he's capable then fails to do something completely basic as the opposition striker heads into an empty net in the 93rd minute.
 
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Avero

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Valdes

Buttner
Rojo
Bailly
Darmian

Djemba-Djemba
Schneiderlin
Kleberson

Obertan
Dong Fangzhou
Bebe
 

Captmfla

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Taibi was genuinely decent. He made a few bloopers but also made many good saves. Also looked like a leader.
 

dazjoe

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Dúbravka

Darmian
Jones
Rojo
Büttner

Djemba-Djemba
Kleberson
Powell

Bebe
Sancho
Birtles
 

Baneofthegame

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I’m going to go for an XI that was either signed for big money or on massive wages. Because small cheap deals that didn’t work out, doesn’t really hurt anyone. Most are punts that you half expect not to work out but sometimes turn out to be gems.

Onana - Signed for 43m. Supposed to be an upgrade on De Gea, but despite being handy with his feet, is borderline useless with his hands. Pretty fundamental for a goalkeeper. Maybe with time I’ll be proven wrong.

Telles - Not the most expensive, came in at something like 14-17m but was completely hopeless. Not up to PL standard, let alone United standard.

Maguire - I don’t hate on the lad like some. He’s been okay for decent spells, without ever being outright good. And has been terrible for decent spells too. Which for a world record defender is pretty tragic.

Bailly - 32m for an utter disaster of a player. Couldn’t head the ball to save his life. Was always on a knife edge between brilliant last gasp tackle and complete brain fart meltdown. Usually the latter. Constantly injured.

Darmian - 17m and was meant to be the solution at RB. Signed for LVG ball. Looked great for one game. After which became a complete non entity. The most uncompetitive defender I’ve seen for a long time.

Schweinsteiger - 10m and 300+K a week. His legs were gone by the time he came.

Van Der Beek - 34m and was supposed to be a sort of ace in the hole type player. Not guaranteed to start but should’ve been pushing hard to break the first XI. Key part of that Ajax team. A player nobody said we needed. He came, he saw, he did nothing.

Di Maria - 65m and was clear he didn’t want to be here from day one. The mental fortitude of a bowl of jelly. Wife slagged off the club and city after they left.

Sancho - 77m for a player who has never looked fit, or firing on all cylinders. Can list the number of good games on one hand. Huge wages, huge fee, huge disappointment, and probably a huge loss. Disappeared up his own arse.

Sanchez - 500k a week. Had to pay him to leave. Played the piano and not much else.

Antony - 84m and it couldn’t have been anyone else. The embodiment of what happens when you give a manager under pressure to deliver control over transfers. Signs a player he’s worked with before that the club has done little to no scouting or background work on. Also turns out he’s a scumbag.

Subs: Barthez, Rojo, Schneiderlin, Depay, Falcao, Martial
Feel like the Onana criticism is harsh, he has the third best save percentage in the league having faced more shots at 76.7%.
 

dcrompton

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Barthez______Huge disappointment. A calamity.

Parker_______Never lived up to the hype. Injured for a long time and usurped by a teenager
Bailly________Used up all our medical equipment
Jones_______Giving him a new contract back in 2019 is arguably our worst business.
Büttner______Gets the nod over Telles because at least you can see it with Telles.

Pogba_______Didn't deliver
van de Beek_ Done nothing
Schneiderlin_ Did nothing

Antony_______Way too much money for what he does on the pitch
Sancho______ Our worst ever signing
Ronaldo______The 2nd time. Can't look past his behavior and the way he left the club. Completely tarnished his legacy.
Paul Parker was the starting right-back in one of Fergie‘s 3 greatest teams in 94 double winners, bit harsh to have him in one of these lists considering the dross to have played in the last 10 years
 

Alex99

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Can't be arsed to do an XI but there was something dodgy about that Bebe signing.
It was a very odd signing, but given that he's carved out a career for himself in Spain's top two divisions, he wasn't the worst punt on young talent we've ever taken.
 

iamdpef

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Didn’t Mkhi basically win the EL for Jose all on his own? There was that back heel flick goal too. He was OK, I was sad he was swapped for Sanchez, even though at the time I wanted Sanchez baaad. Unfortunately he was really bad!
I think it was more the disappointment aspect of the signing, similar to Veron and Kagawa. They were all very good players and weren't exactly awful for us but Mkhitaryan for me was the most disappointing

I was expecting him to be class. I was too young to remember Veron before he joined United so I didn't have any expectations. Kagawa was cheaper whereas Mkhitaryan was more expensive and also the catalyst to Sanchez joining by being swapped (which wasn't Mkhitaryan's fault of course haha)

Although no transfer fee was involved in signing Sanchez, he was still a huge expensive piece of shite on our wage structure and unfortunately Mkhitaryan was a part of that deal. Makes me wonder who we would've swapped for Sanchez if we didn't sign Mkhitaryan
 

devilish

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Taibi

Darmian
Mcnair
Pruner
Telles

Djemba
Bastian
Schneiderlin

Sancho
Sanchez

Falcao
 

JediSith

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Van De Beek
Schneiderlin
Schweinsteiger
Pretty good list actually especially when I think of how i interpret the word “duff”. Because each of those 3 midfielders were signed with huge expectations and turned out to be duff’s, someone like Bebe or Prunier didn’t really come with any expectations.
 

MiceOnMeth

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Martial - Obviously Falcao was really fecking shit, but he was a loan - this lad has been here for about a decade and his greatest contribution was a goal on his feckin' debut.
Carried our attack in his debut season including a fa cup semi final goal. Very harsh to include him
 

davidmichael

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Taibi, Darmian, Prunier, Bailly, Telles, Djemba, VDB, Schneiderlin, Antony, Sanchez, Sancho

Whilst Di Maria didn’t work out he didn’t play badly for us and before the burglary was our best player, simply never wanted to play for us and was forced out by Real.

Others like Valdes, Lindegaard, Obertan, Diouf, De Laet, Buttner, Powell and Fangzhou were all low cost squad additions whilst the likes of Owen, Miller, Falcao, Weghorst and Cavani were all loans or free signings that weren’t on a Ronaldo/Sanchez level of wages.