His vivs, 'I have your pic saved' moment has to be the creepiest moment on the caf ever.
The RedCafe Annual Awards 2011 | First Page Edited With Insults
- Thread starter Brophs
- Start date
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
that was the juiceriest picture ever.
Well in Steve. Stick the award up your ass and we've got ourselves a taffyapple.
The Top Red Award
I’m pretty surprised by the winner of this category. If only because I don’t think he even posts here anymore. So he might well be the toppest red of all, for all I know, but I can’t help feeling like you lot weren’t really trying at this stage of the nomination form. feck, maybe we are a bunch of plastic day trippers. Also we might have rigged the vote in this award so he and MUST didn’t threaten to sue us again. Sorry, Boothy. So close.
The winner of the Top Red award for 2011 is Ralphie.
I’m pretty surprised by the winner of this category. If only because I don’t think he even posts here anymore. So he might well be the toppest red of all, for all I know, but I can’t help feeling like you lot weren’t really trying at this stage of the nomination form. feck, maybe we are a bunch of plastic day trippers. Also we might have rigged the vote in this award so he and MUST didn’t threaten to sue us again. Sorry, Boothy. So close.
The winner of the Top Red award for 2011 is Ralphie.
Heapy would have won it if he hadn't thrown quite so many fireworks at folk on awaydays.
That's two positive awards for Steve which put him at 5 ahead of Randall and wr8_utd in the medal count with 3 negative awards each.
I fully expect your amazon page saying "the award-winning welsh author" in 2 minutes. Go!True.
Many thanks, folks. Very kind of you.
Not seen Ralphie on here for ages. I don't remember who I voted for, though.
5/27 for ralphie
4 each for Utd_heap and GCHQ
4 each for Utd_heap and GCHQ
My award has already been inserted into my anus. I thank all of you, or rather the one of you that tipped the balance and denied Girish the said award. [takes a bow]
Would the owner of a P Reg Brown Austin Allegro please contact the nearest usher, thank you
How many more awards are there?
Ralphie is top red ad vitam aeternam.
I got two votes for something.
I'm pretty sure I won't win.
I'm pretty sure I won't win.
My arse is starting to go numb. And I can only just make out the stage in this seat, row feckin' z.
It really was a close one during the counting. Both girish and Espada took the lead multiple times at different points.
He's going to be victor ludorum.
Was probably the easiest category to vote for I think. Some awards like the "Least helpful modmin" one get considerably less votes partly because some don't want to say a modmin was crap or they didn't think anyone deserved it. Some of the other negative awards like "Creepiest poster", "Biggest whiner" or "Grumpy old git" on the other hand get a lot of votes as it's expected that a particular person will get a lot of votes, and usually they do end up running away with it.
And with "Best newbie", Brophs summed it up well. In a lot of minds it was a two horse race, even though there've been a lot of excellent newbies promoted last year. In the latter half of the year especially, Steve sealed it.
I got a couple votes for worse poster i believe.
Lads, I can promise you, this is hurting us more than ye. Twenty minutes more or so.
Probably.
Admit it Damien, you're gutted that you didnt win Newbie of the year
Ditto. Friends?
Best thread 2011 - by rimmo
there are many a great wordsmiths upon fair caf. many that will be able to tell you exactly what was wrong with the preceding sentence. many, who over the course of a year will use their not inconsiderable talents to pen prose and verse that could tempt the gods out of the skies. or spoony from a weight stack. or noodle from fiery misfortune. or dwayne from the carcass of a moose. with such great creators of manuscript and doctrine at our disposal you’d assume a renowned literary scribe of caf lore would be the proud recipient of the best thread of the year award. you’d be considered fairly fecking foolish were you to assume some sort of veiny shaft worshipping, extra-terrestrial loving, shite music listening, meterosexual experiment gone wrong, man-queen was able to come up with the thread of 2011; all whilst probably gyrating uncontrollably in a manner that could only be described as “unsexy” and “bent as feck,” to ‘single ladies’ by beyonce, and getting simul-bummed by rizzle kicks. but the caf is anything but predictable.
this year’s winner of the “best thread award” is none other than Attack the space, by boss.
just what is “attacking the space?” what does it mean? can it even be qualified or quantified? is it as simple as a footballer using basic common sense, seeing some unguarded space ahead and running into it, rather than charging, head down, in the form of a spastic rhinoceros into the opposition dug out? don’t be stupid, that’d be crazy. it’s the ability to manipulate matter and bend time. “where there is space, there is a way” anything is physically possible as long as you have space to utilise.
the very best players are master exploiters of this technical wizardry. for three years running lionel messi has been voted “physicist of the year” for his command of anti-matter; mainly through his ground breaking research into running past players, rather than attempting to run through them. for the very best players occupy themselves with finding runs that make use of the vast amounts of free space between players, rather than attempting to run through them, being immediately tackled and shouting “can i live?”
2011 will be remembered for many things, well i lie actually, it would appear it is remembered for very little, apparently so little that Attack the space has also won Best caf moment 2011, too. you all realise that other stuff of note probably happened this year too, right? there was that massive thread started by boss that had classic lines such as "you don't have me on ignore, you love my style," and that other one where boss fell out in a manner that could only be described as “spectacularly gayly” with brwned.
yep, plenty of other good stuff probably happened this year, more than attack the space, so just why has it received so many accolades? well “attack the space” had it all, an e-fight, a meltdown, a faux exit, countless photoshops and gifs, innumerable deletions and re-incarnations, and not an unhealthy dose of hyperbole and melodrama. most of all it encouraged us all to take a step back, look at ourselves in the mirror and decide if we liked what we saw. profound words, delivered by one of the caf’s greatest lyricists. that should probably say ‘benders’.
there are many a great wordsmiths upon fair caf. many that will be able to tell you exactly what was wrong with the preceding sentence. many, who over the course of a year will use their not inconsiderable talents to pen prose and verse that could tempt the gods out of the skies. or spoony from a weight stack. or noodle from fiery misfortune. or dwayne from the carcass of a moose. with such great creators of manuscript and doctrine at our disposal you’d assume a renowned literary scribe of caf lore would be the proud recipient of the best thread of the year award. you’d be considered fairly fecking foolish were you to assume some sort of veiny shaft worshipping, extra-terrestrial loving, shite music listening, meterosexual experiment gone wrong, man-queen was able to come up with the thread of 2011; all whilst probably gyrating uncontrollably in a manner that could only be described as “unsexy” and “bent as feck,” to ‘single ladies’ by beyonce, and getting simul-bummed by rizzle kicks. but the caf is anything but predictable.
this year’s winner of the “best thread award” is none other than Attack the space, by boss.
just what is “attacking the space?” what does it mean? can it even be qualified or quantified? is it as simple as a footballer using basic common sense, seeing some unguarded space ahead and running into it, rather than charging, head down, in the form of a spastic rhinoceros into the opposition dug out? don’t be stupid, that’d be crazy. it’s the ability to manipulate matter and bend time. “where there is space, there is a way” anything is physically possible as long as you have space to utilise.
the very best players are master exploiters of this technical wizardry. for three years running lionel messi has been voted “physicist of the year” for his command of anti-matter; mainly through his ground breaking research into running past players, rather than attempting to run through them. for the very best players occupy themselves with finding runs that make use of the vast amounts of free space between players, rather than attempting to run through them, being immediately tackled and shouting “can i live?”
2011 will be remembered for many things, well i lie actually, it would appear it is remembered for very little, apparently so little that Attack the space has also won Best caf moment 2011, too. you all realise that other stuff of note probably happened this year too, right? there was that massive thread started by boss that had classic lines such as "you don't have me on ignore, you love my style," and that other one where boss fell out in a manner that could only be described as “spectacularly gayly” with brwned.
yep, plenty of other good stuff probably happened this year, more than attack the space, so just why has it received so many accolades? well “attack the space” had it all, an e-fight, a meltdown, a faux exit, countless photoshops and gifs, innumerable deletions and re-incarnations, and not an unhealthy dose of hyperbole and melodrama. most of all it encouraged us all to take a step back, look at ourselves in the mirror and decide if we liked what we saw. profound words, delivered by one of the caf’s greatest lyricists. that should probably say ‘benders’.
Keyboard Warrior
For all of the reasons mentioned above Boss has won this one too. But unfortunately for him he only gets to share the spoils, as the voting left this one a tie between he and Lance Uppercut. Lance should consider himself fortunate to be in such esteemed company, and I think he’ll be the first to admit that.
Lance’s posting style tends to veer between psychotically aggressive and e-flirtation with De_Selby, R_Nick and JayWalker. Lance likes having strange men pierce his skin and inject stuff inside of him, long walks in the park with his dog on a piece of string and calling peterstorey names. Oh and sending De_Selby pictures of his cock by PM (why the feck would anyone get the Reebok logo tattooed on their cock?).
I’m also pretty sure he has a financial stake in F365, given that he seems to post almost everything they write on the Caf at some stage.
To show there are no hard feelings about the award being shared, Lance and Boss posed for a photo together in the winners’ enclosure.
For all of the reasons mentioned above Boss has won this one too. But unfortunately for him he only gets to share the spoils, as the voting left this one a tie between he and Lance Uppercut. Lance should consider himself fortunate to be in such esteemed company, and I think he’ll be the first to admit that.
Lance’s posting style tends to veer between psychotically aggressive and e-flirtation with De_Selby, R_Nick and JayWalker. Lance likes having strange men pierce his skin and inject stuff inside of him, long walks in the park with his dog on a piece of string and calling peterstorey names. Oh and sending De_Selby pictures of his cock by PM (why the feck would anyone get the Reebok logo tattooed on their cock?).
I’m also pretty sure he has a financial stake in F365, given that he seems to post almost everything they write on the Caf at some stage.
To show there are no hard feelings about the award being shared, Lance and Boss posed for a photo together in the winners’ enclosure.
Not even close for Best Thread. 21 votes out of 52. The nearest being the Gif Request Thread with 5 votes. Third place was the Make a Meme thread that managed to feed off of Attack the Space for a period of time.
Boss really is a fecking bender, isn't he? Surely it can't just be me. He is a bender, right?
I wonder who would be the side-kick in a Kid Cunto & Mickey superhero comic.
Of course he is, he's a Drake fanboi, case closed.
Both Boss and Lance received 7 votes out of 42. Sharky7 was the closest with 4.
Perhaps the most interesting nugget from this award is all the posters who received only 3 votes each:
cider, Weaste, Team Brian GB, Chief, and rednev
Perhaps the most interesting nugget from this award is all the posters who received only 3 votes each:
cider, Weaste, Team Brian GB, Chief, and rednev
I stopped calling Storey names some time ago. He's quality.