Dele Alli | Overlap Interview with Neville opens up on childhood trauma and mental health issues

[FriedClams]

My only concern with this is that he did this interview too soon. Three weeks out of rehab is not realistic enough to hypothesize lasting change for good. He’ll have many more ups and downs in the coming months but hopefully the good this interview has done for other people will make him feel like he now needs to be held accountable and continue to help people/set an example. Because if he plays well enough to get back to the England team for example, then this interview takes on a whole new meaning.

Good luck dele. So much of his life traumas were 100% out of his control, it’s not fair.

 

[Kellyiom]

I wonder if there's a generational thing going on here. I don't know the poster in question's age, but I'm from a generation that tried in every way to minimize trauma: "Get over it," "Pull yourself together," "Suck it up," etc. It's the "proper" and "masculine" thing to do. We now know, however, the appalling damage that does to so many people, so it's no longer an excuse, even if we were raised with those poisonous values. We all have a responsibility to learn about such things so we don't accidentally hurt more people with our ignorance.

I think you're right, all our science achievements, sporting records etc are built incrementally, 'standing on the shoulders of giants'.

My old man would tell me of things he knew and saw, people being horrendously violent, alcoholic, hurting children and this was all back in the good old days!

I just think if we have the tools and technology to help just one person, one day, then I'm all for it.
Mental health problems recognise no class, ethnicity, religion or wealth and for many people they were always destined to have that gene activated; it's certainly been that way for me as I was adopted and had a fantastic childhood and having met my biological family, they have many issues.

 

[Red in STL]

My only concern with this is that he did this interview too soon. Three weeks out of rehab is not realistic enough to hypothesize lasting change for good. He’ll have many more ups and downs in the coming months but hopefully the good this interview has done for other people will make him feel like he now needs to be held accountable and continue to help people/set an example. Because if he plays well enough to get back to the England team for example, then this interview takes on a whole new meaning.

Good luck dele. So much of his life traumas were 100% out of his control, it’s not fair.

He didn't want to do it so soon but apparently the media found out about the rehab and were asking questions so he wanted to get ahead of it before they published it

 

[Kellyiom]

NHS website:
"There's evidence that episodes of mania may occur when levels of noradrenaline are too high, and episodes of depression may be the result of noradrenaline levels becoming too low."

Yeah, it's a really complicated one but most of my bipolar has been mania so I can't ever take antidepressants.

It's not that simple though as just creating a neurotransmitter supplement because it needs to pass the blood / brain barrier which is why it can take people a long time to feel right.

Genetics can also play a very big role, I know for sure it has in my case.

 

[jem]

I dont disagree, it was a stupid post. But for this to be a forum with different views we need to accept different opinions, even if they hurt our feelings.

But there was history here as you've stated, so good job. Cant be easy being a mod.

I agree about different opinions/perspectives and all that, but then the poster should actually be self-aware and reflective when offering them.

In my case, I’ve been asking myself why I’ve been so ready to accept Dele’s story and accept why that would have an effect on his career, yet I was always sceptical of Lingard’s. I need to reflect on what this says about me - am I letting my United fandom dilute my empathy reservoir? Is it something else?

In my opinion, these are questions worth asking and discussing; simply dismissing someone’s suffering due to the fact that they’re well-paid athletes (which appears to be the case with the poster in question)is extremely shallow and disrespectful, and does nothing to broaden the discussion.

 

[top1whoisman]

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[alexthelion]

I see some of you are still struggling with the notion of empathy. The Tory voters can't help but expose themselves at some point.

Not needed and not at all helpful.

 

[keithsingleton]

How far has he fallen. Not that long ago he was one of the brightest young footballers.
But now, he is absolutely nowhere.
Even Besiktas don't want him.
Does anyone understand why?

Now that the truth has come out are you more understanding about his situation?

 

[alexthelion]

Fair enough, guys. It's obvious that Alli's upbringing could've gone a lot better, however, personally for me there are a lot of excuses in there now. He's a grown man who has't been up to the task for years. But that's just me and anyone who sees it differently, fair enough.

I don't see a common denominator for either of us, therefore me thinks it's best to leave it here. I liked the Giflord and wanted to ask why he's not here anymore. Thanks for clearing that one up, that's all. Overall i'm more of a reader of this board, still like it. Peace!

Just as well.

 

[Red00012]

My only concern with this is that he did this interview too soon. Three weeks out of rehab is not realistic enough to hypothesize lasting change for good. He’ll have many more ups and downs in the coming months but hopefully the good this interview has done for other people will make him feel like he now needs to be held accountable and continue to help people/set an example. Because if he plays well enough to get back to the England team for example, then this interview takes on a whole new meaning.

Good luck dele. So much of his life traumas were 100% out of his control, it’s not fair.

He was forced to .. the tabloids were onto his team to say they knew . Fairly sad that they couldn’t just hold that story and wait for him to tell it when he’s ready. Like Lennon said players are not robots . But tabloids don’t care they just want a juicy story regardless of how that person may be feeling .

 

[crossy1686]

Not needed and not at all helpful.

Right on cue.

 

[Andersonson]

Dele didnt like well in that interview, did he? Hopefully he gets the help he needs and find his life back on track. He was an amazing footballer when his life was on track. Really hope he rediscovers his form and life.

And what a great interview by Nev.

 

[top1whoisman]

Dele didnt like well in that interview, did he? Hopefully he gets the help he needs and find his life back on track. He was an amazing footballer when his life was on track. Really hope he rediscovers his form and life.

And what a great interview by Nev.

I don’t think his life was on track, considering what he’s gone through and what he told us in the interview. More like he was a very good footballer despite his life being very challenging.

 

[crossy1686]

I’d love to have seen Deli under SAF’s tutelage. I think he could have helped him a lot.

 

[Superden]

Not needed and not at all helpful.

calling a spade a spade, I thought that was a tory thing.

 

[LilyWhiteSpur]

Some real heartless feckers in here.

 

[Tarrou]

Nothing to do with this interview and it's horrible what he's been through.

But with regard to the bolded, has this ever been scientifically actually proven to be a real thing or have a real impact (other than general mood that fluctuates in us all)? It seems to be banded about a lot but have there been any studies that corroborates this?

I don't know the answer to this question to be honest, but I've been diagnosed with post-stroke depression which my neurologist described as "almost certainly being the result of a chemical in-balance in some way"

but I guess it would be extremely difficult to ascertain with certainty, particularly in my case where the emotional trauma of having a stroke at a young age is clearly very impactful too

 

[Tarrou]

I don’t think his life was on track, considering what he’s gone through and what he told us in the interview. More like he was a very good footballer despite his life being very challenging.

yeah, he's just started the very long and difficult journey of healing.. the hardest part of often recognising you need help and seeking it, so he's done that

he's on the right track in that he's started the journey, but he's very much at the beginning of it

 

[Red in STL]

I’d love to have seen Deli under SAF’s tutelage. I think he could have helped him a lot.

Doubtful, he made it clear that he kept it to himself and wouldn't listen to anyone, he didn't open up to his manager or his team mates, even the ones he was close to

 

[Buster15]

Now that the truth has come out are you more understanding about his situation?

Yes very much so. I was always a big fan of Dele Ali and he was at least as good as Harry Kane while at Tottenham.

 

[Brownie85]

That’s shite mate. Society is changing for the better but there will always be people dragging their heels unfortunately. Hope you’re doing ok!

Thanks pal! Yeah it's not great, some days are much harder than others and i do wonder sometimes if things will ever get better, especially when the medication starts wearing off. I'd lke to think that sooner rather than later, mental health amongst males isn't such a taboo subject, but it seems that as long as people have the notion that men are supposed to be strong and just take all thats thrown at them, things won't really change. Small steps though!

I am doing good though, just going through a lul at this moment in time, but i know things will get better.

 

[crossy1686]

So any conclusion on this? Can we still criticize player's bad performance if they have or potentially have mental health issue, or not?

There's this poster gave out another POV. We all agreed that football is some sort of entertainment. If an actor performed badly in a movie, should we not criticize his performance if he has or potentially has mental health issue?

ANd yeah.. there's a difference between criticizing and abusing.

These aren't the same thing though are they? If an actor is having a tough time they can delay the filming until they're better, or you know, they can just act as somebody else which is their job.

Footballers are in the public eye every day and perform their jobs in front of millions of people every single week, and they do it live. Not after the luxury of cutting out their worst takes or getting the chance to do multiple attempts until they nail it.

It's fine to say someone played shite, we have a couple of players that are shite most weeks, do they have mental issues? Who knows? Can we presume they do? Maybe? Does that exclude them from criticism, no, it doesn't.

If Sancho comes out in a couple of years and does a similar interview I'll have empathy for his struggle but that doesn't mean he hasn't been a massive disappointment. There's no conclusion to be gained from this apart from it's sad for Deli and we should feel for him on a human level, he's getting the help he needs, probably later than he should have but if he comes back and performs badly it's not like people aren't going to say anything because he had a rough childhood. At the end of the day you're in a results based business and not delivering results will bring criticism, especially if you're not trying to help yourself.

 

[alexthelion]

calling a spade a spade, I thought that was a tory thing.

Just as many bad Labour supporters/MPs.

Just saying it's not just the Tories and that comment was stupid.

 

[Vanrouge]

I think you’re right, but that there are other factors that make it feel less obviously generational. I’m probably just about from a generation that did that, but I had very liberal parents and a Dad who didn’t hold those values. I just find it malignant in general. Hiding mental health problems is like hiding sexuality. You can do it for years and years but in the end no one wins.

Absolutely. And just to be clear, I was looking more for an explanation than an excuse, as I can't really get my head around such callousness.

 

[Vanrouge]

I think you're right, all our science achievements, sporting records etc are built incrementally, 'standing on the shoulders of giants'.

My old man would tell me of things he knew and saw, people being horrendously violent, alcoholic, hurting children and this was all back in the good old days!

I just think if we have the tools and technology to help just one person, one day, then I'm all for it.
Mental health problems recognise no class, ethnicity, religion or wealth and for many people they were always destined to have that gene activated; it's certainly been that way for me as I was adopted and had a fantastic childhood and having met my biological family, they have many issues.

Yes, and it's worth noting that even though attitudes toward mental health might have shifted for the better overall, adults are still hurting children. I worked for two decades with kids in care and street-involved youth, and in the sense of the violence and cruelties inflicted on children, nothing seemed to have shifted.

 

[Superden]

Just as many bad Labour supporters/MPs.

Just saying it's not just the Tories and that comment was stupid.

nope, the tories need to own their callous policy agenda, whether its the working poor, the disabled, or the migrants.

 

[cafecillos]

Just as many bad Labour supporters/MPs.

Just saying it's not just the Tories and that comment was stupid.

Not true. The original comment by @Superden may have been a bit OTT, and I'm very critical of Starmer's Labour, but the "they're all equally bad" defense is disingenuous at best. Is there a Labour Fabricant? A Labour Suella? A Labour JRM? A Labour Lee fecking Anderson? And, of course, their constituents in particular have a lot to answer for.

 

[Isotope]

These aren't the same thing though are they? If an actor is having a tough time they can delay the filming until they're better, or you know, they can just act as somebody else which is their job.

Footballers are in the public eye every day and perform their jobs in front of millions of people every single week, and they do it live. Not after the luxury of cutting out their worst takes or getting the chance to do multiple attempts until they nail it.

It's fine to say someone played shite, we have a couple of players that are shite most weeks, do they have mental issues? Who knows? Can we presume they do? Maybe? Does that exclude them from criticism, no, it doesn't.

If Sancho comes out in a couple of years and does a similar interview I'll have empathy for his struggle but that doesn't mean he hasn't been a massive disappointment. There's no conclusion to be gained from this apart from it's sad for Deli and we should feel for him on a human level, he's getting the help he needs, probably later than he should have but if he comes back and performs badly it's not like people aren't going to say anything because he had a rough childhood. At the end of the day you're in a results based business and not delivering results will bring criticism, especially if you're not trying to help yourself.

Agreed on this. I had mini depression on my not so young days as well. Last thing I wanted was people to feel sorry and acted to me differently.

But i don't know... Now I cant' help but feel sorry, and obviously will change what to say about Delle's performance, after hearing his story.

 

[Zlaatan]

Despite the shite being posted by some in here I'm going to focus on the positives, and it does seem like we as a society are going in the right direction when it comes to these sort of things. The stigma is being broken down and people like Dele coming out and doing this interview is extremely helpful and will hopefully inspire others to take their first step in dealing with their own situation.

 

[Matt851]

Not true. The original comment by @Superden may have been a bit OTT, and I'm very critical of Starmer's Labour, but the "they're all equally bad" defense is disingenuous at best. Is there a Labour Fabricant? A Labour Suella? A Labour JRM? A Labour Lee fecking Anderson? And, of course, their constituents in particular have a lot to answer for.

Yep, the they are all bad argument grinds my gears

 

[Andersonson]

Dele Alli was never sent to Africa

Saw this trending on twitter. I feel more for dele now

 

[NicolaSacco]

Absolutely. And just to be clear, I was looking more for an explanation than an excuse, as I can't really get my head around such callousness.

I get you. It’s clear from your posts on this topic that you’re not trying to justify it. And I do think there is a lot of value in trying to understand what makes some people so unsympathetic to mental health problems. It’s the only way to begin to challenge it.

 

[Vanrouge]

I get you. It’s clear from your posts on this topic that you’re not trying to justify it. And I do think there is a lot of value in trying to understand what makes some people so unsympathetic to mental health problems. It’s the only way to begin to challenge it.

Exactly.

 

[Rood]

Just caught up with this, a tough watch so can't imagine how difficult it must have been for him to do it - thought Neville did a decent job

I can only assume the negative comments came from people who didn't actually watch it and have just read soundbites or something

Hopefully the rehab can give him a fresh start, although I see some of his family are already disputing his account of things so is not going to be easy for him to just move on from it unfortunately

 

[Adisa]

I hope rehab gets him strait and he can start enjoying his football again. He’s just 27.
His biological family are denying some of what he’s said though.

 

[Rood]

How the feck did he pass the Premier League drug tests while taking stuff? Doesn't make sense to me.

Did you actually watch the interview?

The sleeping pills he was taking are not a banned substance, he was initially prescribed them by the club

A widespread problem in football apparently
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66199285

 

[Real Name]

I hope rehab gets him strait and he can start enjoying his football again. He’s just 27.
His biological family are denying some of what he’s said though.

Of course they're denying cause it paints them in bad light. Really, really bad light.

 

[Kellyiom]

Did you actually watch the interview?

The sleeping pills he was taking are not a banned substance, he was initially prescribed them by the club

A widespread problem in football apparently
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66199285

I think he's opened the door for a lot of players who will be in a similar situation. I was given Zolpidem and Zopiclone on a number of occasions when my bipolar disorder was preventing sleep and it feels like a perfect solution, you go straight out, you wake up naturally six or seven hours later feeling great.
But tolerance builds up very quickly and other problems start so it becomes a dangerous gamble.
I think Dele will learn he's far from alone in his industry, I found that out anyway and got to recognising the signs when I was recovering.

 

[red.knight]

Few years back Jordan Ibe has spoken about his struggle with mental health and depression. What has happened to him? Is he still playing football?

 

[top1whoisman]

Few years back Jordan Ibe has spoken about his struggle with mental health and depression. What has happened to him? Is he still playing football?

He was released by Derby in summer 2021, was without a club for half a year before signing for Adanaspor in January 2022. They released him six months later and he hasn’t signed for anyone since.

Been training with Chesterfield this summer apparently but nothing concrete yet in terms of getting a contract there or to a club higher up the leagues.