Man, I can truly never understand things like this. IF these allegations turn out to be true, it's just....why? Like I really can't wrap my mind around it, short of said person just being broken in the head.
You have everything, literally everything, that a man could want. You have more money than you could spend in your lifetime. Fame. You're a fit, world famous athlete who can get almost anyone he goes after. The entire world is at your feet for the rest of your life, because you're good at playing football, something that people do for fun, you can live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your life because of it.
And you go and throw it all away like this.