Chelsea 2023/24 season thread.

[Fortitude]

It’s literally been at least 5 years since I’ve seen a performance this bad. Tonight feels more like an outlier than the actual level of this team. The inconsistency is maddening. The fact that United were there for the taking and we don’t bother laying a finger on you is extra annoying.

Haven't watched you with any attention this season. Couldn't believe what I was seeing. You've a midfield pairing we'd want here and yet they got outplayed by our much maligned midfield. Very surreal from this side of the fence!

I'll take your word that's an outlier performance; why the hell have they served it up on such a big stage?

You've given us a much needed boost, so I'm happy for that, but I don't think we'll have an easier game than that all season.

 

[cyberman]

It’s literally been at least 5 years since I’ve seen a performance this bad. Tonight feels more like an outlier than the actual level of this team. The inconsistency is maddening. The fact that United were there for the taking and we don’t bother laying a finger on you is extra annoying.

We lost against Newcastle which is par for the course for this team but I’m struggling to think of how we were there for the taking by a mid table team? We only seem to beat mid table and down, it’s how we get our points. We weren’t the in form team in the league by a fluke

 

[golden_blunder]

Jackson is a complete fraud of a PL striker

 

[Utd heap]

Jackson is a complete fraud of a PL striker

The Sterling pass was poor but he didn't for one minute look like scoring that did he.

 

[TrustInJanuzaj]

We're 10th for a reason... Bang average mid table side. That cost $1 billion odd.

Maybe with Nkunku, Lavia, Chilwell and others back we might be a lot better.

Nkunku could make a difference but when you are clamoring for an average left back and a promising yet currently average midfielder you know 1 billion has been spent really poorly.

 

[WeePat]

Haven't watched you with any attention this season. Couldn't believe what I was seeing. You've a midfield pairing we'd want here and yet they got outplayed by our much maligned midfield. Very surreal from this side of the fence!

I'll take your word that's an outlier performance; why the hell have they served it up on such a big stage?

You've given us a much needed boost, so I'm happy for that, but I don't think we'll have an easier game than that all season.

They’ve played really well via Arsenal, City, so no problems performing under the bright lights, and most other games this season. No idea what happened tonight. I can’t explain it. We were just awful.

 

[Red00012]

Jackson is a complete fraud of a PL striker

6 goals scored in his debut season so far is a good return

 

[WeePat]

Jackson is a complete fraud of a PL striker

How is this the take away from the game? He played well. Sterling and Mudryk were utterly hopeless next to him.

 

[noodlehair]

The fact there was an entire segment of clips in the post game analysis titled "Scott Mctominay missed chances" in a game where Scott Mctominay scored 2 goals, is probably a bit concerning.

 

[noodlehair]

Also why does the goalkeeper constantly pass the ball straight to the other team's forwards?

 

[WeePat]

The fact there was an entire segment of clips in the post game analysis titled "Scott Mctominay missed chances" in a game where Scott Mctominay scored 2 goals, is probably a bit concerning.

Yes, very. We were completely outplayed, which is more concerning than the result itself.

 

[WeePat]

We lost against Newcastle which is par for the course for this team but I’m struggling to think of how we were there for the taking by a mid table team? We only seem to beat mid table and down, it’s how we get our points. We weren’t the in form team in the league by a fluke

Well, just seeing your performances this season, and the general mood around the team and among your fans.

 

[Hitsu]

Yeah we were shithouse today apart from a few minutes after the Palmer strike. 2-1 flattered us that's for sure

 

[cyberman]

Well, just seeing your performances this season, and the general mood around the team and among your fans.

But that’s against big teams? And nearly all away from home as well ( I think we’ve only played City at home)
We are the easiest team to predict and have been for a while, tonight wasn’t that hard to see coming. Especially if we were galvanised by lies in the press

 

[noodlehair]

Yes, very. We were completely outplayed, which is more concerning than the result itself.

It was actually quite baffling to watch. The amount of times one of our forwards just ran up and took the ball away from one of your players with absolutely no resistance as well. Haven't watched all your games but I don't remember you usually being so easy to play against.

Also Sterling. I don't think he's your worst player by any means but why is he so thick? Diving terribly when you have a clear shot at goal is such a Sterling thing to do. At another point he just kicked the ball straight at a United player and started claiming handball when it hit them on the leg. He prefers to cheat rather than even try to take on his man, and then makes such an awful attempt at cheating it makes me cringe. He's such a massively idiotic tit.

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Well, just seeing your performances this season, and the general mood around the team and among your fans.

"There for the taking" is really not a good way of describing the game

 

[WeePat]

"There for the taking" is really not a good way of describing the game

I meant the feeling I had going into the game. It wasn’t a comment on how either team played during the game.

 

[Gabriel Djemba-Bebe]

6 goals scored in his debut season so far is a good return

Come on - 9 man Spurs gifted him a hat trick. He should've scored more that day.

 

[Rooney in Paris]

I meant the feeling I had going into the game. It wasn’t a comment on how either team played during the game.

Still strange considering we consistently beat teams below us in the table.

 

[WeePat]

It was actually quite baffling to watch. The amount of times one of our forwards just ran up and took the ball away from one of your players with absolutely no resistance as well. Haven't watched all your games but I don't remember you usually being so easy to play against.

I think we’re a pretty uncomplicated team to score against. We do play well generally in most games and we do create enough chances to win most games. Tonight was genuinely awful in that the effort wasn’t there. We were wide open through the middle. It was too easy for you to walk up to our back 4 with no resistance.

 

[Skills]

It was actually quite baffling to watch. The amount of times one of our forwards just ran up and took the ball away from one of your players with absolutely no resistance as well. Haven't watched all your games but I don't remember you usually being so easy to play against.

Also Sterling. I don't think he's your worst player by any means but why is he so thick? Diving terribly when you have a clear shot at goal is such a Sterling thing to do. At another point he just kicked the ball straight at a United player and started claiming handball when it hit them on the leg. He prefers to cheat rather than even try to take on his man, and then makes such an awful attempt at cheating it makes me cringe. He's such a massively idiotic tit.

Especially with VAR.

His decision making in the final third must be so frustrating if he's on your team. Never seems this bad for England mind.

 

[always_hoping]

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[WeePat]

Still strange considering we consistently beat teams below us in the table.

It was just feeling I had before the game, maybe slightly skewed by the mood I felt among United fans, and some of the performances in the games you’ve won sort of felt a bit underwhelming sometimes.

 

[Red00012]

Come on - 9 man Spurs gifted him a hat trick. He should've scored more that day.

So we are giving him less credit because he scored a hat trick because spurs had 9 men

 

[Carl]

They remind me of us. Shaky keeper. Can't play out from the back. Disorganised. Don't take chances.

 

[Unlikely lad]

So we are giving him less credit because he scored a hat trick because spurs had 9 men

… yes?

 

[Lay]

Mudryk is not a football player. Utter shite. Jackson is lively but erratic, there’s a reason only Bournemouth were in for him before Chelsea decided to shit the bed

 

[Nickelodeon]

The 200 odd million spent Enzo + Caicedo isn't scrutinized as much as it should have. Enzo gifted us a penalty with such a rash and unnecessary challenge. Caicedo seemed all over the place and doesn't look like a player who can get much better on the ball. 80 million on Mudryk seems like a bigger waste than Antony (which is really saying something). 70 odd million on Fofana who's quite unfortunate with injuries, Badiashile and Disasi all seem a bit meh. I mean, Chelsea have become an even bigger car crash than us when it comes to wasting money on players. But at least they know how to sell, especially since it doesn't look like that they'll get CL this year.

 

[Rooney in Paris]

So we are giving him less credit because he scored a hat trick because spurs had 9 men

I mean if you're using his goal tally as a justification to defend him, adding some context to that tally is not crazy, is it?

 

[1905]

They remind me of us. Shaky keeper. Can't play out from the back. Disorganised. Don't take chances.

This is what was most surprising as we’re usually very good at that. The most I’ve seen us give the ball away for years, especially in the second half.

 

[SilentWitness]

I think the player I've been most disappointed with so far is Colwill. He's looked poor in a few games I've seen of Chelsea so far this season.

 

[TheRedDevil'sAdvocate]

In some ways, their tactical issues this season aren't dissimilar to ours. It might sound a bit strange but, oh my, they missed Gallagher last night. There's an intent to get Enzo involved higher up the pitch, and Gallagher helps them with the rotations and the fluidity in their midfield. Palmer in a central position adds creativity on the ball, but makes them far more rigid and predictable. It often results in both Caicedo and Palmer stuck in islands in the midfield and the Argentinian in no man's land and caught between roles. Then both FBs have to join the attack, leaving acres of space for the opposition to exploit. And when the ball gets in the final third, they seem full of players who want to run in-behind and look like fish out of the water when tasked to operate in the pockets of space between the lines. They need a lot of work.

 

[cyberman]

They remind me of us. Shaky keeper. Can't play out from the back. Disorganised. Don't take chances.

The team who can’t beat smaller teams and somewhat turns up v top teams reminds you of us?

 

[M Bison]

I'm amazed there's not more noise about Poch and the job he's doing. Are Chelsea fans as vocal about Poch as Utd fans are about EtH and i just dont see it as much? They look completely useless, absolutely all over the place and in complete disarray.

 

[1905]

The team who can’t beat smaller teams and somewhat turns up v top teams reminds you of us?

Perhaps we remind him of you based on the four things he listed and not the two you did.

I'm amazed there's not more noise about Poch and the job he's doing. Are Chelsea fans as vocal about Poch as Utd fans are about EtH and i just dont see it as much? They look completely useless, absolutely all over the place and in complete disarray.

We’ve usually had a good performance dropped in the middle of the bad ones which has helped him. If there’s anything sustained like the Newcastle performance or last nights then it won’t be long before the “you don’t know what you’re doing” chants will come out. Poch hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the fans with his comments in the media aswell, starting from when we played Spurs.

 

[cyberman]

Perhaps we remind him of you based on the four things he listed and not the two you did.




We’ve usually had a good performance dropped in the middle of the bad ones which has helped him. If there’s anything sustained like the Newcastle performance or last nights then it won’t be long before the “you don’t know what you’re doing” chants will come out. Poch hasn’t exactly endeared himself to the fans with his comments in the media aswell, starting from when we played Spurs.

So nothing like us then?
League wise Onana isn’t even shakey and I wouldn’t say we’re disorganised at all? Whisper it but our defensive record is looking at a couple of good games away from equalling the best in the league. I think we’re third as it stands but there is a 3 way tie at 1 which cheats the stat a little bit.
There’s a quality problem but I don’t see us all over the place forgetting what to do.
Chelsea are nothing like us, I can’t even tell you what Chelsea’s game plan even is anymore to be honest.
Our fanbase falls into the trap of equating us with sides we beat or finish above because of the woe is me attitude we’ve developed.

 

[KiD MoYeS]

I'm amazed there's not more noise about Poch and the job he's doing. Are Chelsea fans as vocal about Poch as Utd fans are about EtH and i just dont see it as much? They look completely useless, absolutely all over the place and in complete disarray.

I think it boils down to nobody really caring about Chelsea. Man Utd, ten years into their steep decline, still generate headlines.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

When was Amadeus last spotted in the wild?

 

[WeePat]

The 200 odd million spent Enzo + Caicedo isn't scrutinized as much as it should have. Enzo gifted us a penalty with such a rash and unnecessary challenge. Caicedo seemed all over the place and doesn't look like a player who can get much better on the ball. 80 million on Mudryk seems like a bigger waste than Antony (which is really saying something). 70 odd million on Fofana who's quite unfortunate with injuries, Badiashile and Disasi all seem a bit meh. I mean, Chelsea have become an even bigger car crash than us when it comes to wasting money on players. But at least they know how to sell, especially since it doesn't look like that they'll get CL this year.

Enzo has been good this season. He’ll never justify his price tag unless he goes on some kind of crazy Bellingham-esque Ballon d’Or worthy run where he’s scoring in every single game. So I just judge him on his actual performances that I see with my own eyes and he’s having a good individual season and I’m so happy we signed him.

I used to think Caicedo and Enzo were perfectly complimentary based on their styles before we signed Caicedo but it’s become evident that they both, but especially Caicedo, need a 3rd midfielder in there to have a better structure around them. Caicedo had way too much ground to cover by himself and he’s no Ngolo Kante. That was on Poch I think, though it doesn’t help that none of Gallagher, Ugochukwu or Lavia were available last night. Don’t think we had a single option on the bench that could have slotted into the Gallagher role, who looks more and more like an undroppable asset.

 

[horsechoker]

6 goals scored in his debut season so far is a good return

3 against a ten man Spurs who abandoned defending