Enfant terrible XI

[sun_tzu]

Edmundo

ahhhh - he of drunkan monkey fame...

just sticking to UK

1.Luke Mcormic (death by dangerous driving whilst drunk)
2. Gary Charles (drink driving, removing tag to go on holiday and assault)
3. Craig Thompson (Herts) (Grooming)
4. John Terry (Banging his team mates bird)
5. Peter Story (Counterfeiting and running a brothel)
6. Joey Barton (from putting cigarettes out in a youth players eye to hospitalising a team mate - not the nicest of chaps)
7. Graham Rix (Underage sex - indecent assault)
8. Giggs (Banging his sister in law)
9. Lee Hughes (Killed somebody when speeding and went on the run for 36 hours "allegedly" to avoid a breath test)
10. Marlon King (Assault, Sexual Assault, Assault and unprovoked attack, wounding, credit card fraud, handling stolen cars)
11. Adam Johnson (Rape)

If we go international then it has to be

Bruno Fernandes das Dores de Souza

"In 2010, he was charged with the assault, torture and murder of his extramarital girlfriend and mother of his youngest child.[1] In 2013, he was found guilty of ordering her murder, hiding the body and kidnapping his baby son, and was thus sentenced to a 22-year jail term"


Edit - Probably swap giggs for Gavin Grant as a friend just reminded me he was convicted of Murder... still though banging your sister in law is fecking low

"Grant was accused of killing Jahmall Moore in 2005, but was cleared of murder in 2007.[3] However, on 23 July 2010, Grant was found guilty, along with Gareth Downie, of killing 21-year-old Leon Labastide in May 2004. The courts heard that both incidents were part of "tit-for-tat" shootings in the Stonebridge Park estate in Harlesden.[4][3] He received a life sentence, subject to a minimum of 25 years in prison.[1]"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_professional_sportspeople_convicted_of_crimes#English_leagues

 

[diarm]

I'd go with a 343.

Ramos, Pepe and Terry in the back 3 with Danny Mills and Ashley Cole as wing backs.

Busquets and Barton in a two man midfield that you could punch repeatedly for a full week without getting bored.

Then Dickov, Bellamy and Suarez up front.

 

[Sparky Rhiwabon]

ahhhh - he of drunkan monkey fame...

just sticking to UK

1.Luke Mcormic (death by dangerous driving whilst drunk)
2. Gary Charles (drink driving, removing tag to go on holiday and assault)
3. Craig Thompson (Herts) (Grooming)
4. John Terry (Banging his team mates bird)
5. Peter Story (Counterfeiting and running a brothel)
6. Joey Barton (from putting cigarettes out in a youth players eye to hospitalising a team mate - not the nicest of chaps)
7. Graham Rix (Underage sex - indecent assault)
8. Giggs (Banging his sister in law)
9. Lee Hughes (Killed somebody when speeding and went on the run for 36 hours "allegedly" to avoid a breath test)
10. Marlon King (Assault, Sexual Assault, Assault and unprovoked attack, wounding, credit card fraud, handling stolen cars)
11. Adam Johnson (Rape)

If we go international then it has to be

Bruno Fernandes das Dores de Souza

"In 2010, he was charged with the assault, torture and murder of his extramarital girlfriend and mother of his youngest child.[1] In 2013, he was found guilty of ordering her murder, hiding the body and kidnapping his baby son, and was thus sentenced to a 22-year jail term"

[Irrelevant point]?

 

[OL29]

Anelka surely has to be in there.

 

[Ødegaard]

But should we limit to players who are assholes on the pitch - or players who have done something bad off the pitch. I mean liked Adam Johnson, Ched Evens etc ?

He was found not guilty though.

 

[duffer]

He was found not guilty though.

So was John Terry. Means nothing in peoples opinions of him.

 

[strongwalker]

What's Kahn in for? Just for being a big obnoxious warrior? I'd have him in purely for ending Michael Mols' ability to perform at the top level, but don't imagine that gains much traction here.

Kahn tried to eat Heiko Herrlichs ear once and attacked a few other players over his career, including trying to strangle his teammate Andi Herzog. He definitely was a borderliner. Mehmet Scholl is on record saying in their Karlsruhe days, when he and Kahn shared rooms, he would check every morning if he was still alive or had been killed in his sleep
Definitely deserves a spot in here, although Jens Lehmann also is a good call.

 

[strongwalker]

But should we limit to players who are assholes on the pitch

Agreed, and hence no objection to naming van Bommel, who is a very gentle, civilized and intelligent human being off the pitch.

 

[BlackShark_80]

Harald Schumacher?

 

[Ødegaard]

Lehmann
Aurier - Ramos - Pepe - Alba
Busquets
Alli - De Jong
Johnson ------- Bellamy
Suarez
​

Must-haves for me are: Suarez, Ramos, Pepe & Busquets. Alli semi must-have.

 

[BlackShark_80]

Lehmann
Aurier - Ramos - Pepe - Alba
Busquets
Alli - De Jong
Johnson ------- Bellamy
Suarez
​

Must-haves for me are: Suarez, Ramos, Pepe & Busquets. Alli semi must-have.

no Materazzi and Barton?

 

[Ødegaard]

no Materazzi and Barton?

Materazzi would have to compete with two cnuts I absolutely despise, so would be hard to justify putting him in without changing the formation, and I need Busquets to be in there.

Barton I barely remember. A big-mouth shit-head at smaller clubs. If he played for Arsenal or Chelsea back then I'd probably care more about him.

 

[Needham]

Mata has to start.

 

[OnlyTwoDaSilvas]

Needs more Nile Ranger. Pretty sure that kid will be dead before 30.

 

[montpelier]

Ron 'Chopper' Harris for services to 'mistimed' tackling.

Cesc Fabregas for services to being a twat.

 

[Thunderhead]

Schumacher

Thatcher - Adams - Pepe - Charles

Jones

Johnson - Barton - Rix - Ribery

King

Manager - Give it Giggseh til end of the season

 

[Ecstatic]

If you want a French guy, Pascal Nouma is your man.

Terrible Legend

 

[CM]

Lehmann
Pepe Carvalho Terry
de Jong
Nasri Wise Adam Bellamy
Suarez Tevez​

Honourable mention for Keown

 

[KirkDuyt]

Schumacher

Thatcher - Adams - Pepe - Charles

Jones

Johnson - Barton - Rix - Ribery

King

Manager - Give it Giggseh til end of the season

Ah right, that's the keeper from the 1982 incident. Couldnt recall his name.

 

[aaron221295]

Gennaro Gattuso

 

[Angry Virginian]

Biggest cnut for Spurs fans is Sol Campbell - lied for a year to fans, management, and teammates about working on a new contract at Spurs before signing for Arsenal for free

 

[The holy trinity 68]

Maradona. That hand ball alone has to warrant him being in the team. World class player, world class cnut.

 

[BlackShark_80]

Schumacher
Ramos - Materazzi - Pepe - Charles
Bowyer - Rijkaard - Barton
Cantona - King - Bellamy

Subs: Di Canio, Suarez, Dickov, De Jong, Keane, Thatcher, Lehmann
​

 

[soap]

Lehmann is a good shout for goalkeeper, seeing as there aren't that many of them. More of a knob than a cnut, mind.

 

[Moby]

He irks me, greatly. Everything about him just screams NGGGGGGGGUUUURGH to me. The way those players held his shirt during the national anthem like he died (not his fault). It's just, bleeeergh.

Just personal opinion ofcourse

This post makes you come across in poor light and shows nothing negative on Neymar's part.

 

[Crustanoid]

Mhikitarian is on thin ice

 

[RC89]

How good do they have to be? Because Bellamy would be a shoe in, El Hadji Djiouf, Nile Ranger...

 

[RC89]

ahhhh - he of drunkan monkey fame...

just sticking to UK

1.Luke Mcormic (death by dangerous driving whilst drunk)
2. Gary Charles (drink driving, removing tag to go on holiday and assault)
3. Craig Thompson (Herts) (Grooming)
4. John Terry (Banging his team mates bird)
5. Peter Story (Counterfeiting and running a brothel)
6. Joey Barton (from putting cigarettes out in a youth players eye to hospitalising a team mate - not the nicest of chaps)
7. Graham Rix (Underage sex - indecent assault)
8. Giggs (Banging his sister in law)
9. Lee Hughes (Killed somebody when speeding and went on the run for 36 hours "allegedly" to avoid a breath test)
10. Marlon King (Assault, Sexual Assault, Assault and unprovoked attack, wounding, credit card fraud, handling stolen cars)
11. Adam Johnson (Rape)

If we go international then it has to be

Bruno Fernandes das Dores de Souza

"In 2010, he was charged with the assault, torture and murder of his extramarital girlfriend and mother of his youngest child.[1] In 2013, he was found guilty of ordering her murder, hiding the body and kidnapping his baby son, and was thus sentenced to a 22-year jail term"


Edit - Probably swap giggs for Gavin Grant as a friend just reminded me he was convicted of Murder... still though banging your sister in law is fecking low

"Grant was accused of killing Jahmall Moore in 2005, but was cleared of murder in 2007.[3] However, on 23 July 2010, Grant was found guilty, along with Gareth Downie, of killing 21-year-old Leon Labastide in May 2004. The courts heard that both incidents were part of "tit-for-tat" shootings in the Stonebridge Park estate in Harlesden.[4][3] He received a life sentence, subject to a minimum of 25 years in prison.[1]"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_professional_sportspeople_convicted_of_crimes#English_leagues

As much as I dislike Terry, surely he should be taken out instead, brothers wife is much worse than teammate

 

[Ødegaard]

Ribery definitely deserves a place in this XI, shocked no one mentioned him so far

Schumacher

Thatcher - Adams - Pepe - Charles

Jones

Johnson - Barton - Rix - Ribery

King

Manager - Give it Giggseh til end of the season

 

[sun_tzu]

As much as I dislike Terry, surely he should be taken out instead, brothers wife is much worse than teammate

true - but I was trying as much as possible to make it an XI and I didnt think giggs would be much use at centreback

lets make giggsy the manager

 

[poleglass red]

Eh, not too sure why Kahn is there, he just seems like an overzealous crazy person. Also, I don't really know any cnutish keepers. Maybe Courtois for stealing Debruyne's girl? Or Casillas for that save in the 2010 wc final?

Andy Goram was a grade A cnut. He has openly confessed to using racist language against Pierre Van Hooijdonk. He openly hung out with and showed support for loyalist terrorists. Horrible little man.

 

[Charles Miller]

Edmundo

Yeah i would just post that. Need to be in the top three. Also Romario deserves a mention.

 

[King Eric 7]

Got to put Vinnie Jones in there. Fastest yellow card in PL history I think (5 seconds) unless someone beats that?

Edit 3 seconds. That is a quick yellow! Also had 6 red cards in 184 apps.

 

[Leuthen]

Marco Matterazi. Not even Pepe or Diego Costa is equally cnutish.

 

[ZAGREB RED]

Schumacher would have to be the keeper in this team. That "challenge" was sickening, ref didn't even give a free kick and I'm sure he saved a penalty or two in the shootout.

 

[RC89]

true - but I was trying as much as possible to make it an XI and I didnt think giggs would be much use at centreback

lets make giggsy the manager

Oh bloody hell

Don't know what I was thinking.

 

[KirkDuyt]

This post makes you come across in poor light and shows nothing negative on Neymar's part.

The penalty kick whinging with Cavani, the move to Psg because he doesnt want to be in Messi’s shadow, the silly hair, the diving, the crying during the national anthem. It just rubs me the wrong way. If that makes me a cnut so be it, doesnt make it any less true though

 

[Pink Moon]

Giggs was banging his sister in law for years... things dont get much more cnutish than that... make him captain

EDIT...ok perhaps not captain we should reserve that for adam johnson

Yep. I know it's a United forum and he's arguably the club's greatest ever player but the guy is such a scumbag that he has to make this team.

edit: is it even arguable? Surely he is the club's greatest ever player?

 

[Dolf]

Why Robben? Because he falls easily inside the box? Most of the time he gets touched so can't blame him. Classy guy on and off the pitch.

 

[kouroux]

Harald Schumacher, fecking cnut