Football phrases that grinds your gears

Red00012

Full Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2018
Messages
12,191
“He plays with a smile on his face”

Probably has been mentioned in the 21 pages previous though
 

Relevant

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Apr 4, 2021
Messages
123
At this moment in time (McManamanaman)

.....like this moment could be in any other time, or a parallel universe.
 

GhastlyHun

Full Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2015
Messages
12,792
Location
Bavaria
Supports
Bayern München
Probably been brought up before, but: agents/managers talking about "projects" when signing someone for some club, when really the pompous twits mean:
"Player xy likes the project of z" -> "They pay what we ask"/"We pay what they ask"
 

Kaushal

New Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2022
Messages
364
Player do some mundane stuff while playing like laughing or is angry - “quite a character”

Striker scores goals - Nothing
but
Goalkeeper makes saves - “where they would be without him”
 

Solius

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Staff
Joined
Dec 31, 2007
Messages
86,466
Player do some mundane stuff while playing like laughing or is angry - “quite a character”

Striker scores goals - Nothing
but
Goalkeeper makes saves - “where they would be without him”
You get plenty of where would they be without hims about Ronaldo tbf
 

Kaushal

New Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2022
Messages
364
You get plenty of where would they be without hims about Ronaldo tbf
You are right but bar Ronaldo and maybe a few, it’s always with the goalkeepers “where they would be without him” as if it’s not goalkeeper primary job to make saves. That has been the consistent theme with us for years with De Gea. Not that I disagree totally but it is used way over the top every single time and it really does grind my ears hearing that.
 

Ollie Derbyshire

Full Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2016
Messages
2,255
Pretty sure I've mentioned it before but the "He's hit that too well" none sense when a shot goes straight at the keeper, yes he might have struck the ball perfectly but he's not hit it too well that it's gone straight at the keeper, if he aimed better it would have gone in!!!
 

sugar_kane

Full Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2013
Messages
3,493
"Look...." to start a sentence.

I can picture Jake Humphries saying it right now, slightly slumped in his chair, swiveling towards Rio... about 20 times a fecking game.

I swear to god no-one ever started a sentence this way until about five years ago, now everyone seems to do it - footballing pundits or otherwise.
 

68cob

Full Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2022
Messages
659
I hate "delicious" being used to describe a cross, shot or any other action in football. I only noticed one commentator using it for a few seasons, but recently heard Gary Neville and a female footballer use it. Yuuk!
Thank god I never hear "superlative" anymore.
 

mitchmouse

loves to hate United.
Joined
Oct 8, 2014
Messages
17,577
"He was lucky to get away with that one it could have been a red card but probably more an orange."

There's no orange card you daft cnut.
on the same sort of note: "he now has to lay for xx minutes on a yellow card"... as if this doesn't happen dozens of times a weekend
 

CraftySoAndSo

Full Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2021
Messages
1,050
Now it's impossible to talk about Amad without hearing the term "weighted pass." Someone used the term "cultured" midfielder for some "tidy" git, or that he had a "cultured" left peg and I almost threw up in my mouth.
I agree about culture since when i hear that i think of yoghurt which is sloppy. So when i hear a player is cultured i take that as he's sloppy in possession.
 

mctrials23

Full Member
Joined
Dec 31, 2015
Messages
1,277
To quote Gary Neville, "Ugghhhhhhhhhhhh" as he orgasms over something Liverpool or City do.
 

AdamColeBebe

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Messages
1,064
Supports
Man Utd
Now it's impossible to talk about Amad without hearing the term "weighted pass." Someone used the term "cultured" midfielder for some "tidy" git, or that he had a "cultured" left peg and I almost threw up in my mouth.
 

Scriblerus

Full Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
494
Location
Surrey (in exile)
"Trent"…….especially from the mouth of Jenas. He's got a bloody surname like every other footballer, and he's not everybody's special first-name terms chum (except possibly in the case of Jenas).
 

AdamColeBebe

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Messages
1,064
Supports
Man Utd
Martin Tyler calling Robert Firmino "Bobby" makes me cringe.
 

HybridMoments

New Member
Newbie
Joined
May 25, 2015
Messages
50
Martin Tyler calling Robert Firmino "Bobby" makes me cringe.
This 1000% percent and I'm sure it only started happening 4/5 game ago? Also anybody who called Wayne Rooney "Wazza" in interviews, also I'm sure Ole used to call Martial "Anto"
 

Rook

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Nov 7, 2015
Messages
19
we're here at Stamford Bridge for Chelsea v Manchester United and todays referee is Martin Atkinson.
 

MattyLT

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Oct 19, 2020
Messages
310
"If a Brazilian did that, we'd be talking about it for years"

Also, footballers dropping the "obviously"s and "to be honest"s in every sentence post match:

"Well, obviously, they're three massive points for us, to be honest, and I'm obviously thrilled to get a goal, but to be honest, it's always about the team, and what's best for the team, obviously and also honestly."

I genuinely think clubs mostly pick their team spokesmen based on who can say "honestly / to be honest" and "obviously" the most. The more you can shoehorn those in, the more well-spoken you're regarded. Theo Walcott is an example of very well-spoken person within the footballing world.
 
Last edited:

Gentleman Jim

It's absolutely amazing! Perfect even.
Joined
Jun 14, 2015
Messages
3,154
Location
Salford
Supports
city
When numpties refer to a player as the GOAT when the poster's birthyear starts with a 2
 

Zaphod2319

Full Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2020
Messages
4,209
Supports
Chelsea
Chelsea get a boost in pursuit of X player.

Don't bother to read.