Football phrases that grinds your gears

Bestietom

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Wasn't interfering with play. ( Shouldn't be on the pitch then)
 

Toblerone92

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Keown on Channel 4 just now: “he plays the game with a twinkle in his eye”.

Get to feck.
 

Pretzels81

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"They deserved more today"

"They lost but controlled the match"
 

sirAlexsglasses

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The Gerard’s, the Scholesy’s, the Lampards etc, just say players like FFS, just grinds my gears massively.
 

horsechoker

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The Gerard’s, the Scholesy’s, the Lampards etc, just say players like FFS, just grinds my gears massively.
I've always been confused as to why people say this. There's only one of those players in the context of top level professional football.
 

Withnail

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It’s when a player connects beautifully with a shot and goes stright at the keeper / wide when a scuffed shot would drag it either side and score.
it’s basically saying the ball going exactly where the striker intended is somehow unlucky.

Michael Owen just did this one! ‘Harry hit it too well. Better to just mishit it…’
Michael Owen often talks about purposefully scuffing shots slightly to fool the keeper.
 

Lost bear

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Believe what you like but it's a technique he says he used to practice, especially from close range.
Ok didn’t know that. Still talks platitudinous nonsense most the time in my view, but maybe he gets a pass on that one…
 

1905

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"the keeper was beaten all ends up" whenever the ball hits the post, despite the keepers outstretched hand probably saving the shot if it was on target.
 

Tap

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The Gerard’s, the Scholesy’s, the Lampards etc, just say players like FFS, just grinds my gears massively.
Yeah, just say their names. I’ve heard another one like “the Bayerns, Barcas and Madrids”. How many Bayern Munich or Real Madrid sides are there.:mad: Just say “top clubs” or name them properly.
 

m1tch

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Currently it's got to be 'xG', but typically it's anytime a new word/name is introduced for a system that has existed for ages and was described without any problem for years. Often feels like those using the new term think it's a recently conceived breakthrough in football analytics or strategy. E.g. 'low block'.
 

Champ

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'he has a high ceiling'

He's a football player, not a Georgian townhouse.

It's a stupid phrase that means bugger all and makes no sense.

People need to Stop using it.
 

WeePat

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'he has a high ceiling'

He's a football player, not a Georgian townhouse.

It's a stupid phrase that means bugger all and makes no sense.

People need to Stop using it.
What? I like that one. It makes perfect sense and is a perfectly good way to describe a player's potential. Obviously it's always pure guesswork so there's almost never any real meaning behind it apart from the person who saying it's gut feeling, but it's still a good descriptor of potential. Vague, but good.
 

Tavern in the town

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Currently it's got to be 'xG', but typically it's anytime a new word/name is introduced for a system that has existed for ages and was described without any problem for years. Often feels like those using the new term think it's a recently conceived breakthrough in football analytics or strategy. E.g. 'low block'.
What do you have against xG?
 

Dempsey19

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When somebody shoots from a distance and the commentator states "he was never gonna score from there". Yet the player is well capable and has scored from there or further out on many occasions.
 

Champ

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What? I like that one. It makes perfect sense and is a perfectly good way to describe a player's potential. Obviously it's always pure guesswork so there's almost never any real meaning behind it apart from the person who saying it's gut feeling, but it's still a good descriptor of potential. Vague, but good.
No one has a ceiling.

Your are limiting that player by claiming they have a 'ceiling'.

There's no such thing. How does one define a ceiling? As you say it's pure guesswork, so it means absolutely nothing.

It's bollocks and grinds my gears proper. :wenger:
 

m1tch

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What do you have against xG?
I think football is better evaluated with lexicon rather than mathematics. Statistical modelling may provide some insight but it requires human thought and an articulated evaluation in order to have any real value, if any value at all.

People seem to think of xG as the indicator/predictor of success these days, which to me is the same as saying a player covering the most ground is most influential. It could sometimes be true, but it could also be an indicator of poor positioning. It's mainly a TV analysis gimmick in my eyes, likely quoted by the presenter and not the pundits (at least not the ones that are knowledgeable with regard to the game).

Spelling. Should be eG.
Hahaha, yeah, also this!
 

Oranges038

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Currently it's got to be 'xG', but typically it's anytime a new word/name is introduced for a system that has existed for ages and was described without any problem for years. Often feels like those using the new term think it's a recently conceived breakthrough in football analytics or strategy. E.g. 'low block'.
Saying, we could have scored 5 or 6 does sound way better than we had a +3xg.
 

LDUred

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This is a very specific one but I can't stand how Jim Beglin constantly begins sentences with, 'Listen...' when he's talking to the other dude on comms and then usually follows that up with a completely nonsensical statement.
 

UnrelatedPsuedo

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What? I like that one. It makes perfect sense and is a perfectly good way to describe a player's potential. Obviously it's always pure guesswork so there's almost never any real meaning behind it apart from the person who saying it's gut feeling, but it's still a good descriptor of potential. Vague, but good.
Players don’t have ceilings. They have potential. They realise it, or they don’t. ‘Ceiling’ is a fantasy.