Gameweek 1
From the United legend himself.
Gameweek 1:
Gameweek 1:
Garth Crooks - Team of the Week
- Thread starter MyOnlySolskjaer
- Start date
I love his tendency to include and briefly mention any player who manages to get on the scoresheet, then proceed to talk in length about the opposition. That's not the goal of your weekly article, Garth!
Why on earth is Van Dijk in that team 
Thought Davinson Sanchez was very good vs City.
Did Alison do a single thing in their game, didn't watch it, but from reading about it seemed like they were in complete control throughout.
Ahh good old Garth Crooks teams where everyone who scores gets pushed in, no matter what. Although, I think someone told him that his formations had become a laughing stock and he has toned down a bit.
Gone are the times where we got FIFA yolo formations like this:
or that
Gone are the times where we got FIFA yolo formations like this:
He basically just picks whoever scores, even if it ricocheted off their knee and they didn't even see it. There are some truly terrible pundits out there but he's possibly the worst of them all.
Tanganga would have got into a rugby line up of the week too.
Garth Crooks Team of the Week should really be named the FPL team of the week. It’s basically who scored, who assisted, who got a clean sheet and if all else fails, who’s the biggest name to put in that position.
Bryan Mbeumo looked pretty awesome for Brentford against Arsenal, but since he did not score or assist, he does not get credit.
Bryan Mbeumo looked pretty awesome for Brentford against Arsenal, but since he did not score or assist, he does not get credit.
Apparently we’d have lost the Palace game without de Gea in goal. Did they even have a threatening shot on target? I remember him stopping two soft daisy cutters early on and then not being troubled again. In fact the whole story of the match was about how much we limited Palace’s opportunities.
I’m fascinated with what goes on in Crook’s brain. He has numerous falsehoods in every single team of the week. I can’t tell if he’s phoning it in or if his brain is rotting from the inside.
That's his shtick, he comes up with oddball opinions that get people het up. It's probably just the way he is. Peter Schmichel is the same. His opinions on football are totally niche.
Yeah but it’s not an opinion. It’s factually incorrect.
You're not wrong about him going on about the opposition
Emmanuel Dennis: "At the moment we are in a very difficult situation," said De Gea in his post-match interview. "We don't know what to do with the ball, we don't know how to defend properly."
What a terrible indictment of the Manchester United coaching staff. When a player is prepared to come on national TV and be so scathing of his team's performance, it can only mean one thing and that is the end of the manager. And so it proved. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's departure was inevitable.
The arrival of Ronaldo only served to paper over the cracks, while the arrival of Claudio Ranieri might actually save Watford.
Meanwhile, Emmanuel Dennis looks the part and might be as big a star in the Africa Cup of Nations for Nigeria in January as he was against United.
Emmanuel Dennis: "At the moment we are in a very difficult situation," said De Gea in his post-match interview. "We don't know what to do with the ball, we don't know how to defend properly."
What a terrible indictment of the Manchester United coaching staff. When a player is prepared to come on national TV and be so scathing of his team's performance, it can only mean one thing and that is the end of the manager. And so it proved. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's departure was inevitable.
The arrival of Ronaldo only served to paper over the cracks, while the arrival of Claudio Ranieri might actually save Watford.
Meanwhile, Emmanuel Dennis looks the part and might be as big a star in the Africa Cup of Nations for Nigeria in January as he was against United.
My favourite Garth quote was when we announced Rangnick as interim.
The mans on another planet
From this team of the week article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59454292
The mans on another planet
Can't wait for this generation of pundits who pay zero attention to European football to retire.
Extra special this week. Puts Rashford in, then spends two small sentences giving him credit, and another three paragraphs complaining that Sabitzer should’ve been sent off, and how the referee favoured United.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64699014
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64699014
Emerson Royal as CM.
Why would you give that exposure, I could have done without reading that shite
Garth Crooks is stealing a living, he's a moron.
He's played way too much FM or something with his mental formations and playing players out of position. Picked 3 left backs in a back 3 before the knobhead.
He's played way too much FM or something with his mental formations and playing players out of position. Picked 3 left backs in a back 3 before the knobhead.
The way the media are gunning for us makes me think we’re back. They.are.worried.
Jesus, talk about hyperbole. Can't believe the BBC actually let him publish that shite. He's the one who should be relieved of his duties, he's completely lost it.
He is a harmless bellend... I find his take on football hilarious. Clueless cnut
We are relevent and that's what it is, they just can't stand that we are slowly getting there.
Saka's late tackle on Moreno was a lot more dangerous, but I guess Crooks was too busy inserting his tongue between Saka's butcheeks to notice.
Jesus, is Garth still a thing?
This guy is comedy gold.
He had De Gea as his keeper in his team of the week, after Forrest had an amazing 0 shots on target.
He had De Gea as his keeper in his team of the week, after Forrest had an amazing 0 shots on target.
This is what some de Gea fans don't seem to understand. Having complete command of you penalty area, claiming every cross, etc, so that the opposition cannot get a single shot on target is what makes a great keeper, not someone like Navas who makes 20 saves in a game but still concedes 2 goals. How did Navas allow us to have so many shots on goal???
He seems to just stick players in because he wants to comment on them. In this case, making the slightly bizarre point that DDG should be captain.
If a defender scored - they go in his team.
DDG didn’t do anything to deserve a TOTW pick. Navas kept it from being 7-0.
Crooks has the easiest job on the BBC payroll.
DDG didn’t do anything to deserve a TOTW pick. Navas kept it from being 7-0.
Crooks has the easiest job on the BBC payroll.
He had a proper rant about someone a few weeks ago, don't think the player was even in his team? Odd bloke.
some of you comment like you expect him to have actually watched all of the weekend games or know any of the players.
He's perfected the art of Aura Defending™. Just gives a steely glare and forwards fluff their shots into Row Z
His name is apt, he’s been stealing a living for years. Stop giving him clicks.
To quote The Simpsons, just don’t look.
I find it so amusing reading his columns as he seems to make no effort to condense his writing and make it palatable to the reader.
The first goal from Gundogan was a gem. He literally stroked the ball home like a conductor providing the opening stroke of his baton to a symphony. The problem for Leeds United and their new manager, Sam Allardyce, was that Gundogan was just getting started. His second goal came within eight minutes of his first as the Germany international received the ball with his left foot, and with one touch feinted to put the ball in the keeper's bottom left-hand corner but brilliantly and deliberately pulled his shot around and buried it in the opposite corner of the net.
Occasionally he just decides to make six points instead of one.
He can't make the recovery runs he used to and on the odd occasion he is dispossessed or someone gets a march on him. A point highlighted when Brentford's Bryan Mbeumo turned him on the halfway line and raced half the length of the pitch before putting the ball in the back of the net. Fortunately for Liverpool and Van Dijk, the goal was ruled offside. That wouldn't have happened three years ago. Nevertheless the inspirational Dutch defender is starting to look more and more dangerous in the opposition's penalty area. His beautifully controlled header back across the six-yard box for Mohamed Salah to tap home was as intelligent as it was unselfish.
And frequently goes full-on in terms of commenting about stuff other than the player's performance.
It's difficult to leave Harry Kane out of my team, having scored the winning goal against Crystal Palace, which brings him closer to Alan Shearer's Premier League record, and then clears a certain equaliser off the line. Neither can you ignore the fact that he has somehow remained utterly professional amid an avalanche of mismanagement and chaos at the heart of his football club. Three managers have taken charge of his dressing room in a matter of weeks, which means they almost certainly will not finish in the top four when at one point they looked nailed on. Spurs are no nearer finding a replacement for Antonio Conte than they were the moment he walked out the door. Yet you wouldn't know any of that when watching Kane. The England captain is the consummate professional and that is why he is in my team.
I have no idea how he's still on the payroll and imagine it's a literal nightmare having to edit his articles.
The first goal from Gundogan was a gem. He literally stroked the ball home like a conductor providing the opening stroke of his baton to a symphony. The problem for Leeds United and their new manager, Sam Allardyce, was that Gundogan was just getting started. His second goal came within eight minutes of his first as the Germany international received the ball with his left foot, and with one touch feinted to put the ball in the keeper's bottom left-hand corner but brilliantly and deliberately pulled his shot around and buried it in the opposite corner of the net.
Occasionally he just decides to make six points instead of one.
He can't make the recovery runs he used to and on the odd occasion he is dispossessed or someone gets a march on him. A point highlighted when Brentford's Bryan Mbeumo turned him on the halfway line and raced half the length of the pitch before putting the ball in the back of the net. Fortunately for Liverpool and Van Dijk, the goal was ruled offside. That wouldn't have happened three years ago. Nevertheless the inspirational Dutch defender is starting to look more and more dangerous in the opposition's penalty area. His beautifully controlled header back across the six-yard box for Mohamed Salah to tap home was as intelligent as it was unselfish.
And frequently goes full-on in terms of commenting about stuff other than the player's performance.
It's difficult to leave Harry Kane out of my team, having scored the winning goal against Crystal Palace, which brings him closer to Alan Shearer's Premier League record, and then clears a certain equaliser off the line. Neither can you ignore the fact that he has somehow remained utterly professional amid an avalanche of mismanagement and chaos at the heart of his football club. Three managers have taken charge of his dressing room in a matter of weeks, which means they almost certainly will not finish in the top four when at one point they looked nailed on. Spurs are no nearer finding a replacement for Antonio Conte than they were the moment he walked out the door. Yet you wouldn't know any of that when watching Kane. The England captain is the consummate professional and that is why he is in my team.
I have no idea how he's still on the payroll and imagine it's a literal nightmare having to edit his articles.
So, it's not the Spurs dressing room, it's Kane's dressing room, which, presumably, he graciously allows the rest of the squad to utilise.
Garth is living the dream.
He's obviously not the brightest and also seems to put in zero effort yet gets paid for his teams of the week and "Insight". I've never heard anybody have a good word to say about him as a "pundit".
He's obviously not the brightest and also seems to put in zero effort yet gets paid for his teams of the week and "Insight". I've never heard anybody have a good word to say about him as a "pundit".