Some folk have said it's "undeniably charming". Well, it is deniable. Undeniably deniable, in fact, because I deny it. It's as charming as a used car salesman and if you fall for its tricks then that's your own fault.
It's not that it's just another Disney cash cow which has as much to say about family and society as the back of a crisp packet. The songwriters probably just walked down a road and wrote something for everything they saw. "Oh look, there's some bird feeding birds, there's some twat flying a kite, there's a child suffocating in a chimney. How magical."
Cor Blimey Guvnor innit
It's also because it's so fecking phoney. From Penis Transit Lesbian's, or whatever his name is, accent to the fecking birds flying about cleaning the house. Fantasy is one thing, fine, but that's not what the fans will have you believe. They'll tell you that the film is a reflection of family life and strife. They'll say it's about love and loss. Or because Mary Poppins says "no" a few times she's somehow a feminist icon. Or the child actors are actually any good. It's just not any of those things. It's a Disney movie with songs in it and that's all it says.
Folk who say that the new one somehow missed the spark of the original are wearing their rose tinted glasses firmly on top of their ears and nose. It's the exact same fecking film, stop pretending it's any less of an exercise in making money. People get incredibly protective of their beloved Mary Poppins if you say a bad word about it, probably in the hope that they will somehow be rewarded one day for rimming Mickey Mouse's crusty arsehole like @Rooney in Paris at a back alley cottage fest.
Well to them I say one simple thing; Feck Mary Poppins.
"Thank god Pidgy had the balls to say what we've all wanted to say for years" - everyone, and don't deny it.
It's not that it's just another Disney cash cow which has as much to say about family and society as the back of a crisp packet. The songwriters probably just walked down a road and wrote something for everything they saw. "Oh look, there's some bird feeding birds, there's some twat flying a kite, there's a child suffocating in a chimney. How magical."
Cor Blimey Guvnor innit
It's also because it's so fecking phoney. From Penis Transit Lesbian's, or whatever his name is, accent to the fecking birds flying about cleaning the house. Fantasy is one thing, fine, but that's not what the fans will have you believe. They'll tell you that the film is a reflection of family life and strife. They'll say it's about love and loss. Or because Mary Poppins says "no" a few times she's somehow a feminist icon. Or the child actors are actually any good. It's just not any of those things. It's a Disney movie with songs in it and that's all it says.
Folk who say that the new one somehow missed the spark of the original are wearing their rose tinted glasses firmly on top of their ears and nose. It's the exact same fecking film, stop pretending it's any less of an exercise in making money. People get incredibly protective of their beloved Mary Poppins if you say a bad word about it, probably in the hope that they will somehow be rewarded one day for rimming Mickey Mouse's crusty arsehole like @Rooney in Paris at a back alley cottage fest.
Well to them I say one simple thing; Feck Mary Poppins.
"Thank god Pidgy had the balls to say what we've all wanted to say for years" - everyone, and don't deny it.
