Post your favourite Simpsons quotes :D

[MalibuKen]

i watched this episode the other day

cracked me up

Chief: "You're off the case McGarnagle"
McGarnagle: "No you're off your case chief!"
Chief" "What's that supposed to mean?"
Homer" "It means he gets results..."

 

[Mockney]

Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers

 

[MalibuKen]

Homer: "Mr Burns, you're the richest guy I know."
Mr Burns: "Yeah but i'd trade it all for a little bit more."

Bart: "It’s kind of hard for us to leave when you’re standing in the way mum."
Homer: "Knock her down son."

Grandpa: "My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star."

Homer: "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

Kent Brockman: "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together."

 

[I_live_cement]

Possibly one of the greatest scenes ever:

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

The Simpsons is great.

 

[redhoop]

Homer on the French "cheese eating surrender monkeys"

Krutsy "if you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!"

 

[MalibuKen]

Homer: I've got two questions. One: Where's the fife? Two: Give me the fife.

 

[solvista]

Homer: "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

Stupider like a fox.

 

[MalibuKen]

"You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel"

 

[Olly Gunnar Solskjær]

"Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over. What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman"

and

"Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours"

 

[Adzzz]

Some of these quotes bring back very fond memories of that show.

Still, Chief Wiggum

"Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless. "

"Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says. "

And...Grandpa Simpson

"Grandpa Simpson: The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few."

 

[Solius]

Wiggum: Ralphie, what is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?

 

[MalibuKen]

Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I was just ... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Superintendent Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Seymour Skinner: Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams.
[Skinner runs aross the street to Krusty Burger, and returns to the dining room with a tray of hamburgers.]
Seymour Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Seymour Skinner: Oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Seymour Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendent Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Seymour Skinner: Uhh ... Upstate New York.
Superintendent Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'
Seymour Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No, it's an Albany expression.
Superintendent Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers bites into a steamed ham.]
Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...
Seymour Skinner: Yes ...
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Seymour Skinner: You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second.
[Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]
Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?
Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Seymour Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Seymour Skinner: No
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, the house is on fire!
Seymour Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.

 

[MalibuKen]

Chief Wiggum: Don't worry, that car thief can't hold his breath forever!
Cop: And if he can, Chief?
Chief Wiggum: Then God help us all!

 

[I_live_cement]

 

[MalibuKen]

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow down."


Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

 

[OneUnited24]

The Simpsons is great.

The Simpsons were great, after season 17 i thought it went downhill - still watchable but doesnt compare to the old series

Homer: Bart people die just like that... Why you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well good night

 

[I_live_cement]

The Simpsons were great, after season 17 i thought it went downhill - still watchable but doesnt compare to the old series

I think the decline was way before serason 17. Still a great show though.

 

[Solius]

Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.

Chief Wiggum: Do it for this adorable little puppy. Look at the puppy, Marge.
Marge: That's your hat.
Lou: She's good, chief.

 

[Ballache]

i dont remember which episode but i remeber Homer saying ''tute on my son tute on!'' to Bart cired from laughter

 

[Mockney]

"Looks like bad news for the....Impson family!"


"Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

The decline was about season 11-12...but seasons 4-9 still beat anything on television ever

 

[Xander45]

Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story.

 

[FreakyJim]

Super-Nintendo Chalmers

this is great

 

[Mockney]

Lionel Hutz was brilliant...Phil Hartman was the king...the decline probably started when he died

Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: Uh, your Honor, can I call for one of those bad trial thingys?
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: Yeah ... that's why you're the judge, and I am the law ... talkin' ... guy.

Hi Milhouse, Lionel Hutz, your new agent, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer...err keeper awayer.

 

[Xander45]

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!


Rainer(looking at shoes): On closer inspection, these are loafers.

 

[OneUnited24]

Chief Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.

 

[I_live_cement]

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I saw an episode of Matlock in a bar last night. The sound was down, but I think I got the gist of it.

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

 

[Solius]

Homer: Hey! Knock it off! These pants cost six hundred dollars!
Moe: Really?
Homer: Yeah, they're Italian...
Moe: Alright *pulls out shotgun* Hand em over!
Homer: Moe.. what the?
Moe: Yeah, I rob now.

 

[MG]

Lionel Hutz: "Uh oh...We've drawn Judge Snyder."
Marge: "Is that bad?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's had it in for me ever since I... kinda ran over his dog."
Marge: "You did?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly,' and the word 'dog' with 'son.'"


Carl: "Oh no! Homer's going over those falls!"
Lenny: "Oh good! He snagged that tree branch."
Carl: "Oh no! The branch broke off!"
Lenny: "Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks!"
Carl: "Oh no! Them pointy rocks broke his arms and legs."
Lenny: "Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him!"
Carl: "Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants."


Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

 

[Boothy]

Ralph: "Me fail english? That's unpossible"

 

[Solius]

Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so...

 

[MG]

(My personal favourite quote):

Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!

 

[Niall]

Homer: Hmmm, Barnie's film had heart, but "Football in the groin" had a football in the groin...

 

[Niall]

(My personal favourite quote):

Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!

Love that one!

 

[Solius]

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me?
Worker: Ok Mr. Burns, uhh, whats your first name?
Homer: ...I don't know.

 

[Olly Gunnar Solskjær]

Apu: "Yes I'm sorry, I do not speak English, okay."
Woman: "But you were just talking to..."
Apu: "Yes yes. Hot dog, hot dog. Yes sir, no sir. Maybe okay."

Groundskeeper Willie: "If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?! (moments later) Guh, save me from the wee turtles! They were too big for me! Aaah!"

Homer: "To start, press any key. Where's the any key?"

 

[I_live_cement]

Hans Moleman: I was saying Boo-urns.

 

[Olly Gunnar Solskjær]

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

 

[I_live_cement]

Ned Flanders: I've done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

 

[Mockney]

Lawyer: Well, what about that tatoo on your chest? Doesn't it say Die, Bart, Die?
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for 'The Bart, The."
Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole Granted!

 

[MG]

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


Bart: A soul is just an invention to scare children, like the Boogie man and Michael Jackson.


Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life.