Dr. Dwayne (he/him)Sorry, I thought you were female
Privilege in its many guises
- Thread starter Jericholyte2
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Thank god to be honest, I'm more comfortable discussing this rash on rectum with a dude tbh
You have to make sure @rimaldo wears protection. Don't just take his word for it.
Privilege in its many guises.
it’s just that i love you that much that i want to be able to feel it sliding in, baby.
oh you say that to everyone, I'm sure.Pull my hair
I'd bet many who don't like the word priveledge (or acknowledging where they have priveledge) also love calling other snowflakes. Which is ironic. Many seem to like to think that priveledge only exists for the super wealthy or at least people who are far wealthier than they themselves are (or whatever the category of priveledge). And within each categories there are degrees of priveledge. Economically I'm more priveledge than many, less than many others and not in the same universe as the super wealthy.
Acknowledging priveledge isn't about attacking people, it is about us all developing empathy for others in different circumstances.
Bestowing benefit, sometimes invisible to people and expecting them to just accept it will never work.
That's a good point.
Thanks
Another privilege I have as a black man, more often than not, on busy public transport I get a seat to myself 
Privilege is something that benefits a small group, and often in an unfair or unearned way. What OP describes is a form of inequality.
Men can reduce the likelihood of getting robbed though. For instance, don't walk through a poor neighborhood wearing a suit, Italian shoes and a Rolex. If you don't want to get robbed, don't look like a worthwhile target to rob and the risk goes down massively. Also know the neighborhood. In certain parts of LA I would not wear my Arsenal track jacket because red is a color that might make me a target in that neighborhood (like historically Crip parts of Long Beach). For women, it's very different. Women can't really reduce the fact they are women.To be honest, I think men are far more likely to be robbed or get the shit kicked out of them for shits and giggles. But there is a psychological difference too. Being safe and feeling safe are not the same thing. Then again, the vast majority of us are gonna go through life without suffering an attack like this.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you kind of got the worst deal here, pal. Since you are a man you are more likely to be attacked and since you are also aware of the dangers you don't have the luxury of feeling safe
The point @Jericholyte2 makes here, my wife and female friends have pointed out to me many times. it's spot on and it is a privilege. Of course as others pointed out, other privileges exist, two gay men walking through certain areas holding hands are going to have increased risk as two straight males.
100% this!!!Another privilege I have as a black man, more often than not, on busy public transport I get a seat to myself
How? Does your neighborhood have high crime rate? Any recent violence against women or just any violence at all?
Some people just afraid of the dark or being alone. Nothing related to privilege.
You’ll get at least half a subway car if you’re homeless. Homeless and black, maybe the whole subway car.Another privilege I have as a black man, more often than not, on busy public transport I get a seat to myself
That’s just naive though. All you have to do is look on the news about ‘Woman X murdered as she walked from her flat to the local pub’, or Sarah Everard, or the countless other cases of sexual violence directed at women and girls to see that it’s not ‘just’ a fear of the dark or being alone.
Was talking with my friend yesterday about how UK immigration cut his dad's surname off the registration when he moved here, so his surname isn't his dad's family name.
He does have a point though. Statistically, the odds of anything happening is incredibly unlikely. From a purely logical perspective she should be more frightened about being clipped by a car or falling over and hurting herself. Which I’m sure never crosses her mind. We do seem to be a generation which spends too much time immersed in fearful narratives about the big wide world. The enormous interest in the case you mention being a great example.
Fear isn’t logical though. Getting clipped by a car or, whatever, is an act of chance. Tripping over a curb isn’t because the curb is misogynist.
But if you’re looking for stats to back up things, what is the rate at which women are assaulted, face sexual abuse, sexual violence, or murder in this country.
Now go through that same list for men…
Sure. What you’re talking about there is relative risk. But absolute risk is more important. Which is a concept that people often struggle with.
Say person A has a 1 in 100000 chance of something bad happening. And it’s 2 in 100000 for person B. That’s a huge difference in relative risk. So if that difference is down to privilege then, sure, privilege seems to be having a massive impact on the lives of those two people. All the data will show that anyone lacking that privilege is twice as likely to have a bad thing happen to them. But in reality, the likelihood of that bad thing happening is absolutely tiny for both of them. So neither of them should be particularly worried about it happening, never mind radically changing their behaviour to try and reduce the risk still further.
Given that between 22% and 40% of women experience sexual violence of some sort it really isn't that rare.
And in the UK 2 women a week are murdered by men (in Australia it is slightly worse with about 1 per week with a smaller population).
Maybe but that has essentially nothing to do with the risk of going for a jog at night.
Similarly, the total murder rate is probably not all that relevant either. The majority of people murdered are killed by someone they already know.
Basically, stranger danger is probably the single most exaggerated risk we face in society today.
True, many years ago I was tasked to organise a safety audit in an FE institution where there were around 1500 people on site each day. It was undertaken anonymously, but respondents were asked to indicate whether male/female*
From those who took part around 36% said there had been occasions when they had felt threatened or unsafe on the campus, when asked how many occasions they had actually been attacked or threatened on campus the figure was around 0.05%.
From the 36% who had felt threatened or unsafe around 78% were female, from the 0.05% who had actually been attacked or threatened, 90% were male.
In most case its true that reality is different from perception, but on the basis that for females in particular, the perception was reality, the institution brought in a team of security staff.
(*) well aware that classification would not be allowed today
But given the consequences are life changing so much more often for women, even when they don't end up dead, it is a highly reasonable concern.
Not really. How reasonable or not a concern is depends on outcome and absolute risk. If the latter is very low then the level of concern should be too. A lightening strike almost always has terrible outcomes but nobody worries about it, day to day.
But, in the case of women, they’re facing lower level actions on a daily (weekly at ‘best’), whether it’s catcalls, lingering eyes, comments about their appearance, to more overt sexual innuendo and harassment, which creates a viable sense of fear.
Imagine walking around and constantly having lightning strike near you, sure the chances of it escalating are, technically, low, but every time you hear thunder you’ll end up triggered.
Agree, but that's not what your OP was about.
About running in a dark road in a unsafe neighborhood, I think men (unless they look like NFL linebackers) are as likely to be assaulted as women. If you are talking about sexual assault, the it's likely to be skewed towards women victims, but if you expand to general assault/muggings (which is more likely in scenario your post mentions) then I think the % would be more balanced or even skewed towards male victims.
If a woman is afraid of going out for a run in a safe (very low crime rates) neighborhood, then it's wrong to assume that it's due to male privilege. As someone said, fear is unfounded....so it's OK for her to think she's unsafe, but doesn't mean it's a fact or that privilege has anything to do with it.
The chances of getting struck by lightening once in your lifetime is 0.0065% whereas the chances of a woman being sexually assaulted is between 22 and 40%. So not only is that not an equivalent risk but we also don't think that people are silly to avoid going outside in a thunderstorm.
I think you are misunderstanding the nature of priviledge. The priviledge in this circumstance is not having to modify your own behaviour or even ever having to think about it, and not the relative safety of any particular neighbourhood.
Are there no women who walk around after dark in that entire neighborhood? Would it still be a male privilege if OP's wife is the only one in the neighborhood who feels this way?
The OP was making a generalization based on one single person's views. It's just baseless jumping to conclusions based on content in the OP.
If they’re that worried surely pepper spray and a knife is minimum. What’s a key gonna do at the end of the day unless you get a clear eyeball shot
It's always a very specific type of person or group of people that accuse others of having privilege. Those who fall somewhere between the haves and have nots.
They get very angry about it when people correct them as well. As if it's an afront for someone who has experienced true hardships, suffering, judgement to dare suggest they're not privileged. Or as often happens, those who have privilege but are belittled by these people as if they're weak, helpless and worthless pointing out that they in fact are privileged.
They get very angry about it when people correct them as well. As if it's an afront for someone who has experienced true hardships, suffering, judgement to dare suggest they're not privileged. Or as often happens, those who have privilege but are belittled by these people as if they're weak, helpless and worthless pointing out that they in fact are privileged.
Can you provide a link for that please?
Don't be ridiculous. If you don't know that the vast majority of women take precautions when it is dark or they have to be in an isolated place like a car park, in a way men never have to (not that it would ever cross their minds) then I suggest you ask a few more women about their lives. Women have a quite justified fear of sexual assault that men don't.
22% in Australia
https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/p... women,544,700) who experienced sexual threat
40%
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33507052/
And that is just the official figures. Most women I know who have been sexually assaulted, ranging from groping in a public place to systematic long term rape, won't appear in official statistics.
The real percentage is far higher.
Priviledge isn't an accusation (usually) it is simply recognition that groups of people have different life experiences and opportunities. It is at its core about being empathetic to others.
Honestly, this is bonkers. I dont know how to say.
One thing that it is interesting, though, that in Australian stats, 16% of these 22% have been caused by a stranger. This is 3.5% . Still far more than I would expect.