Richard Keys on the Lionesses

Murder on Zidanes Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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Jun 11, 2015
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Lionesses - you’ve changed everything.

‘Dream makers. Record breakers. Game changers’. Not my words, but those of Robyn Cowen, who provided the commentary on a blockbuster Women’s Euros final Sunday evening. Brilliant. And perfect for the occasion.

Commentators spend careers hoping for moments like that. Saturday night Robyn must’ve dreamt of delivering those words on the final whistle - and she must’ve loved it.

It’s what I call the ‘Wolstenholme’ moment. No-one will ever better ‘there are some people on the pitch - they think it’s all over’ As Geoff Hurst thrashed his third - England’s fourth - into Germany’s net in the 1966 WC final, with perfect timing commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme added ‘it is now’. Genius. The best ever.

A lot of things had to go his way. Those people needed to be on the pitch. Bobby Moore had to deliver an immaculate ball downfield to Hurst. And he had to score. Tick. Tick. And tick.

Clive Tyldesley gave us ‘Manchester United will score. They always score’ in CL stoppage time 1999. Sheringham did. He went on to complete a majestical final few minutes. He was brilliant that night.

Martin Tyler will simply have ‘Ageroooooooo’ on his grave stone. We’ll know who lies beneath it.

Some commentators will have three different paragraphs written to cover three different results in a football match. You can tell who they are - but it’s the special moments - that you can’t rehearse - that are always remembered.

I’ve got the feeling Robyn was ready - but she delivered the line with class, style and - like I’ve said - it was perfect. Trust me Robyn - it won’t ever get any better than that!

There’s only ever one ‘first’.
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The rest of the article consists of him writing about himself and then a short paragraph about actual woman's football, before finishing off with "time to get back to men's football!"

He's a feckin dick.
 
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In a way it was a real achievement by the England Women, but in another, much more Richard Keys-focused way, it was a real achievement by Richard Keys.
 
I think a couple of points were OK and was warmly written but he comes with (rightly so) such baggage given his rampant misogny and unrelenting desire to not be proven wrong, that it's hard to take stuff at face value.
 
If I saw Agueroooo on a gravetsone I would assume it belonged to Sergio Aguero tbh.
 
Four paragraphs mentioning the final and the rest trying to justify his position about his sexist comments once again. Sian Massey should have just told him it was offensive but it's OK because he sacrificed his name being the sponsor of a girls football team in favour of a charity.

Make him an MBE now.... Pillock.
 
i was quiet on this subject during the tournament because of all the usual nonsense that surrounds anything I have to say. Tell me guys - how many of you both received and sent on the memes? Fun was it? There isn’t a guy who hasn’t or didn’t - yet they still come after me. Some were genuinely funny and may we always have the ability to laugh - and my goodness I’ve unintentionally provided a few down the years - but here’s the thing….we need to be careful how and when we do this. We never want to cause offence. If it’s offensive it’s wrong
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Poor Richard Hairy Hands
 
The weekly section about him and Gray on the Football Cliches podcast is great.
 
Didn't even get Tyldesley's commentary right.

Also paraphrase him "I'M NOT SEXIST AND UNTALANTED LOOOOOK!"
 
It was Sian that introduced me to the word ‘banter’. She used it in the conversation I had with her on the Sunday when I called to apologise for what was said in the hack. But she shouldn’t have done. What she should have told me was ‘not funny Richard. It doesn’t help’. It was some time before I realised that.
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‘The target of my ignorance should have told me I was ignorant’ is one helluva thing to say out loud, far less wrote down and publish.

That’s a microcosm of the problem. It should have read;

“It was Sian that introduced me to the word ‘banter’. She used it in the conversation I had with her on the Sunday when I called to apologise for what was said in the hack. But she shouldn’t have needed to placate me. I should have known that the mistake was mine. Partial blame existed with my employer. The biggest problem existed in football itself. Our sport has not changed fast enough, and is always running to play catch up. As a broadcaster I should have been leading a change in narrative, not perpetrating old stereotypes. It was some time before I realised that, and I’m still learning”

Honestly, these marginalised people need to stop revising history in hopes of redemption.
 
When he cheated on his wife with his daughters friend when she was fighting cancer it was just banter.
 
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