Songs for Højlund

Hail to Rasmus, United's star so bright,
With every match, he'll take to flight!
From Denmark's lands, he comes to shine,
In red and white, his skills align!

On the pitch, he'll dance and prance,
With finesse, he'll lead the advance!
With Rasmus, goals will rain like thunder,
Man United's rivals left to wonder!

Defenders tremble when he's near,
His magic feet, a sight to cheer!
Through highs and lows, he'll stay true,
Rasmus Højlund, we believe in you!

In Manchester, you'll find your place,
A legend in the making's embrace!
With every victory, the fans will shout,
Rasmus, Rasmus, there's no doubt!

So raise your voices, let them ring,
For Rasmus, the new Red Devil king!
In glory, he'll forever be lauded,
Man United's legacy, with him, applauded!

This might be the worst use of the English language I have ever seen.

Edit: sorry, I hadn’t seen the second one when I first replied.
 
We've got the Great Dane
We'll turn him loose on you
When you least suspect he'll smash through your defense and ruin you

TV on the Radio - Wolf like me.
 
Tune of Don't Cry For Me Argentina

It wasn't easy, we went deranged,
couldn't begin to explain how we felt;
But we needed goals after all that's been done,
You won't believe us, all you will see is a young lad that's new,
Although he's our world class 9,
pissing in goals all just for fun

He had to let it happen, he had to come,
couldn't stay a farmer all his life,
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun,
So he chose freedom, running around, every game he'll score a few,
And no one can stop him at all,
We never expected them to,

Don't cry for us, any longer
The truth is, we've found our striker
All through our wild days, our mad existence
Boss kept his promise
We'll keep on cheering
 
The Rasmus (Hojlund)

No sleep, no sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop before I find the cure for this Glazer cancer
And sometimes I feel like going down and so disconnected
But somehow I know that i am haunted to be wanted

I've been watching, I've been waiting in Bergamo
For my time
I've been searching, I've been living for United
All my life
 
Rasmus wo oo ooah
Rasmus wo oo ooah
feck off Haaa aa aland
We've got our Hojlund
 
Rasmus Højlund…
he's our hero,
Who’s gonna smash
You’all to zero…

(Rhymes with Captain Planet theme song)
 
We’ve signed Rasmus Hojlund
But we’re still miserable cnuts
 
I asked ChatGPT to come up with one. here it is:

From Scandinavia, you came to our shore, With heart and talent, you left us in awe, With every match, you give it your all, In the hallowed Theatre of Dreams, you stand tall!

Uncanny. We do love to always mention where they were born, for some reason.
 
we wish you a merry Rasmus
we wish you a merry Rasmus
we wish you a merry Rasmus
now score us a goal
 
Hoj Lund
Wherever you may be
You did not come from Ajax
It’s ok, it’s alright
You’re a red and we still love you
 
To there’s no limit

Ra ra,
ra ra ra ra,
ra ra ra ra
Ra ra Rasmus Hojland!
 
To the tunes of Ricola advertisement.
RAS-MUS HOJ-LUUUNNNDDD
(preferably with an Alphorn accompanying it)
 
Rasmus woooooah,
Rasmus woooooah,
Turned down wheelbarrows full of cash,
To taste Manchester gash.
Oh Manchester!
Is wonderful!
Oh Manchester is wonderful,
It's full of tits, fanny and United,
Oh Manchester is wonderful!
What in the world?
 
Oh, Rasmus Hojlund, mighty and bold,
In your name, our tale unfolds.
With skill and grace, we'll take the field,
A force of strength, we shall wield.

Through trials and tests, we stand strong,
In unity, we shall belong.
With every challenge, we'll rise above,
In your legacy, we find love.

Rasmus Hojlund, hear our cry,
In your honor, we'll reach the sky.
With passion and heart, we'll face the fight,
Guided by your brilliant light.
 
He scores goals
He scores goals
That man Hojlund
he score goals....today
 
You can stick your Erling Haaland up your arse
You can stick your Erling Haaland up your arse
You can stick your Erling Haaland, cos weve got Rasmus Hojlund
You can stick your Erling Haaland up your arse


repeat
 
Rasmus Höjlund, he came from Denmark
The twats on Caf said the price's off mark
80 billion (plus 50 bonuses) down the drain
Rasmus Höjlund scores again
 
Højlund, Højlund, Højlund
He’s from Denmark like Cristian yo,
He goes left, He goes right, He makes the defences look shi*e,
He’s our Danish magnifico..
 
To the tune of Thunder - by Imagine dragons

Just a young gun with a quick fuse
Danish Viking, wanna let loose
He was dreaming of bigger things and
Joined the army of Man Yoo

See the hammer, drop the shoulder
In the box, on his left, have a shot
In the corner, it's a stunner
See the lightning before the thunder (thunder)

Thunder, feel the thunder,(clap clap clap) lighting then the thunder
Thunder, feel the thunder,(clap clap clap) lighting then the thunder
 
Something with a Danish theme?

Lego
Lego Lego Lego
Hoy…Lund
Hoy…Lund

Lego
Lego Lego Lego
Hoy…Lund
Hoy…Lund


.
 
Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Rasmus, ooh-la-la
Want your goals oh so bad

To the tune of bad romance
 
To the Rolling Stones song, “Get off my cloud”
( this is just made for a crowd chant)

HOY
LUND
Get off my cloud

HOY
LUND
Get off my cloud

He scores goals
like no other one

Just for fun.


.
 
This was how Weghorst being introduced to RedCafe. Everyone wrote a song about him, only to call him donkey 2 months later.
 
You are my Højlund, my only Højlund
You make me happy when skys are grey
Though Erlind Haaland, they claim was cheaper
Please don't take my Højlund away

Props for originality :nervous:
 
Weggie Weggie Weggie
Weggie Weggie Weggie

Two left feet
and lots of height
He turned out
To be a load of sh**e


.
 
I asked ChatGPT: :wenger:


(To the tune of "Hey Baby" by DJ Ötzi)

Oh, Rasmus Højlund, he's quite a sight,
With moves so smooth, he's dynamite!
He dribbles past, he scores with glee,
A football wizard, can't you see?

He's got the skills, he's got the flair,
Defenders quake when he's in the air!
With every touch, the crowd's in awe,
Oh, Rasmus Højlund, he's football's law!

From left to right, he'll twist and turn,
Opponents left, their ankles burn!
His goals are wild, his tricks are fun,
In Rasmus' game, we've all won!

So let's all cheer, let's raise a toast,
For Rasmus Højlund, our football boast!
He'll take us far, he'll make us proud,
With him on our team, we stand unbowed!