Who are the really stupid footballers?

Eriku

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The average IQ (yes, I know it's not an indication of true intelligence) is a hundred, give or take.

So, that means United's first team has, what, 3 or 4 really dumb players.

Who are they? What about players from other teams? Who comes across as being intellectually-challenged in world football?
Does it? How does that follow?
 

TwoSheds

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If I had to guess 5 from United's current squad I'd probably have (in order):

Harry Maguire


Luke Shaw
Ronaldo
McTominay
Martial

But I suppose it depends how you define thick really. In terms of poor emotional intelligence Ronaldo might be way out in front.
 

Grylte

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Di Canio obviously, Totti was also very limited in thinking as far as I remember. From current players Grealish truly strikers as a real cookie, worth mentioning Zouma for his ignorance and cruelty against animals perhaps. Famously Michael Owen, too.
I'm pretty sure Di Canio is very intelligent.


Bruno Fernández is the least intelligent footballer I've seen at United and I think he's a good player. Some of the diving and unnecessary flicks at the wrong time baffles me. Pogba was a close 2nd.
You never watched United while Nani was here? Lowest football iq i think i've seen.
 

Andycoleno9

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All kidding aside, for me dumbest players are the ones who had everything to be a top players with great career but they threw it away because they were idiots.
Names like Gazza, Ravel and Balotelli come first on my mind.
 

Chief123

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The average IQ (yes, I know it's not an indication of true intelligence) is a hundred, give or take.

So, that means United's first team has, what, 3 or 4 really dumb players.

Who are they? What about players from other teams? Who comes across as being intellectually-challenged in world football?
AWB is defo number one.
 

LawCharltonBest

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Joey Barton. Googles big words and calls himself Joseph to disguise that he's a complete idiot.

Souness doesn't come across too bright with his football opinions.
 

Red Star One

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I'm pretty sure Di Canio is very intelligent.
Certainly, to sport fascist tattoos, talk racist bullshit, receive suspensions for roman salutes and to finally get fired from a pundit job on a big TV channel for showing a tattoo celebrating a failed dictator, these are signs of a very intelligent person. His "loyalty" to openly fascist Lazio fans doesn't make him smart or cool - he's a troubled man romanticising violence and discrimination. For me intelligence means you're able to escape tribalism.

This doesn't mean only fascists are idiots, again:
“Totti said he wouldn’t sit at the same table and have dinner with me,” Di Canio said. “I explained that was no great loss, because if you tell Totti there are tensions in the Middle East, he’ll assume that a fight has broken out on the right side of midfield.”
I love Italy and Italians but they truly produced some idiots of another kind. Special mention to young Buffon who changed the number on his shirt from 1 to 88 in times of huge anti-fascist sentiment and big pressure on removing neonazis from Italian football, only to claim he liked the number because it reminds him of four balls and in Italy it's well seen to "have the balls".
 

phelans shorts

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Certainly, to sport fascist tattoos, talk racist bullshit, receive suspensions for roman salutes and to finally get fired from a pundit job on a big TV channel for showing a tattoo celebrating a failed dictator, these are signs of a very intelligent person. His "loyalty" to openly fascist Lazio fans doesn't make him smart or cool - he's a troubled man romanticising violence and discrimination. For me intelligence means you're able to escape tribalism.

This doesn't mean only fascists are idiots, again:


I love Italy and Italians but they truly produced some idiots of a special kind.
I can’t stand Di Canio, his general intelligence I don’t know because I don’t know the bloke, his political allegiances are horrific and self centred but not really a sign of a lack of intelligence (a point that really must be hammered home, because it’s the common mistake people I’m much closer aligned to politically make and only drives people away from the cause). What you deem as intelligence doesn’t have any effect on what intelligence actually is after all, plenty of nazis made major scientific breakthroughs for instance despite being part of a horrific regime.

I have to say though, that quote about Totti is absolutely hilarious
 

Red Star One

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I can’t stand Di Canio, his general intelligence I don’t know because I don’t know the bloke, his political allegiances are horrific and self centred but not really a sign of a lack of intelligence (a point that really must be hammered home, because it’s the common mistake people I’m much closer aligned to politically make and only drives people away from the cause). What you deem as intelligence doesn’t have any effect on what intelligence actually is after all, plenty of nazis made major scientific breakthroughs for instance despite being part of a horrific regime.

I have to say though, that quote about Totti is absolutely hilarious
Oh obviously, it's a topic for a much different discussion and surely it would be an oversimplification to think everyone supporting a murderous ideology can be classified as an idiot. Then again, if you're a public figure and chose to position yourself as the defender and supporter of said ideology, tattooing yourself in stuff referencing a failed autocrat, hanged by his own people, I believe there are grounds to question your intelligence.
 

stefan92

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Does it? How does that follow?
To quote German manager legend Hans Meyer: "In jedem Kader gibt es fünf richtig blöde Spieler. Von denen würde einer auf jeden Fall unter der Brücke landen, wenn er nicht Fußball spielen würde."

"In every squad there are five really stupid players. One of them would live under a bridge if he didn't play football"
 

Grylte

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Certainly, to sport fascist tattoos, talk racist bullshit, receive suspensions for roman salutes and to finally get fired from a pundit job on a big TV channel for showing a tattoo celebrating a failed dictator, these are signs of a very intelligent person. His "loyalty" to openly fascist Lazio fans doesn't make him smart or cool - he's a troubled man romanticising violence and discrimination. For me intelligence means you're able to escape tribalism.

This doesn't mean only fascists are idiots, again:


I love Italy and Italians but they truly produced some idiots of another kind. Special mention to young Buffon who changed the number on his shirt from 1 to 88 in times of huge anti-fascist sentiment and big pressure on removing neonazis from Italian football, only to claim he liked the number because it reminds him of four balls and in Italy it's well seen to "have the balls".
Yeah, i'm not defending him as a person, i know he's a horrible cnut, but you can be smart and a cnut at the same time.
 

Red Star One

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Yeah, i'm not defending him as a person, i know he's a horrible cnut, but you can be smart and a cnut at the same time.
Sure thing. All I'm saying is that I wouldn't compare his situation to nazi scientists, when it was widely accepted to be a fascist scum. To chose to represent fascist ideology in 2022, with all the information available and with all the proofs of it's failure, I'd hazard a guess it's not a "smart and cnut" thing to do, but rather a show of ignorance, tribalism and idiocy.
 

Eriku

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To quote German manager legend Hans Meyer: "In jedem Kader gibt es fünf richtig blöde Spieler. Von denen würde einer auf jeden Fall unter der Brücke landen, wenn er nicht Fußball spielen würde."

"In every squad there are five really stupid players. One of them would live under a bridge if he didn't play football"
Now there’s a thread. At United, who’s our 5 and who gets the bridge suite? :lol:
 

norm87cro

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Martial and Antony dont look very bright for us.
David Luiz wont be spliting the atom anytime soon. From my own country Vrsaljko has to be "up there" alongside Vida. But this is all assumption and harmless fun we all could be wrong its just that "initial" perception.
 

studs

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From Manchester united.
Maguire.
Rashford.
Shaw.
AWB.
Mctominay.
 

VeevaVee

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Grealish looks like he has 3 flies circling in the space where his brain should be when he talks
 

KirkDuyt

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I'm curious to know more about his guy and why Mourinho had such a pop at him.
He's quite talented. Good technique, great cross, fast and quite strong. it's just, he's too dumb to be a great player. His decision making is terrible and he's a bit of a tool off the pitch.
 

phelans shorts

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Gaz. Is a Mewling Quim.
Oh obviously, it's a topic for a much different discussion and surely it would be an oversimplification to think everyone supporting a murderous ideology can be classified as an idiot. Then again, if you're a public figure and chose to position yourself as the defender and supporter of said ideology, tattooing yourself in stuff referencing a failed autocrat, hanged by his own people, I believe there are grounds to question your intelligence.
But he is in a country that just elected someone with troublingly similar ideals, it’s never that cut and dry
 

jem

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He's quite talented. Good technique, great cross, fast and quite strong. it's just, he's too dumb to be a great player. His decision making is terrible and he's a bit of a tool off the pitch.
Any idea what he did that pissed Mourinho off so much?
 

BarryWinks

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Emerson Royal for me. The archetypal dumb jock, except he's not quite a jock.

Notable mentions:
Djenepo - Makes the wrong decision 9/10 times
Tom Davies
Patrick Bamford - Although I read he's pretty learned
Sergino Dest - Looks 'it'
Who was the youngster for us who couldn't boil an egg?
 
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