Has to be Gary Neville at West Brom. When you're so bad you decide to stop playing. To be fair, I know the feeling 
Worst ever performance
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
It's obviously not the worst ever performance, but I thought it wasn't mentioned enough how bad Subasic game against France in WC final was.
Rooney away to Aston Villa at the start of Van Gaal's second season.
Astonishingly bad performance. Even worse than the Watford one the year after.
Astonishingly bad performance. Even worse than the Watford one the year after.
The Midfield trio of Rafinha-Mascherano-Sergi Roberto in the 2015 Spanish Super Cup vs Athletic Bilbao at the San Mamés.
Lucho had his hands tied as the game was about two days after the UEFA Super Cup, so he decided not to risk certain starters to avoid any injuries so he had a rotated backline and Midfield and sure enough we got destroyed 4-1 with the Midfield being perhaps the main culprit.
Not an ounce of Ball retention and control in that Midfield that day and they just got eaten alive by Bilbao's High Press.
Lucho had his hands tied as the game was about two days after the UEFA Super Cup, so he decided not to risk certain starters to avoid any injuries so he had a rotated backline and Midfield and sure enough we got destroyed 4-1 with the Midfield being perhaps the main culprit.
Not an ounce of Ball retention and control in that Midfield that day and they just got eaten alive by Bilbao's High Press.
Southampton 8-0 Sunderland in 2014.
Bebé vs Wolves.
Does anyone remember that game might’ve been 2009 to 2011 against maybe Wolves where Scholes must have been drunk and couldn’t complete a pass to save his life? I do remember it being so bad that Sir Alex didn’t even take him off. Always remembered it because it was so bizarre.
Does anyone remember that game might’ve been 2009 to 2011 against maybe Wolves where Scholes must have been drunk and couldn’t complete a pass to save his life? I do remember it being so bad that Sir Alex didn’t even take him off. Always remembered it because it was so bizarre.
Everyone in a United shirt against MK Dons. That was also the day we announced Di Maria, i think
Mikael Silvestre had an absolute shocker in his debut for Portland Timbers. I can't remember the exact details but it was calamitous. Angel who used to play for Villa missed two penalties in a match at some point too.
Peter Bonetti, 1970 World Cup v West Germany.
Responsible for England losing 3-2 after being 2-0 up.
Responsible for England losing 3-2 after being 2-0 up.
2 that I was there to see live:
Lovren vs Spurs 2017: As bad as it gets from a CB. I think Lovren only lasted like 30mins before Ox replaced him. Absolute car crash of a performance.
Jon Walters vs Chelsea 2012/2013?: My last season as an away ticket holder, what a treat. Scored 2 own goals, missed a penalty and surely completed more passes to Our players than his own. Masterclass. I remember him being that bad we were gutted for him when his pen hit the bar
Lovren vs Spurs 2017: As bad as it gets from a CB. I think Lovren only lasted like 30mins before Ox replaced him. Absolute car crash of a performance.
Jon Walters vs Chelsea 2012/2013?: My last season as an away ticket holder, what a treat. Scored 2 own goals, missed a penalty and surely completed more passes to Our players than his own. Masterclass. I remember him being that bad we were gutted for him when his pen hit the bar
Banter Jenkinson in the 8-2 was a performance for the ages
That's a winner right there.Steven Gerrard's intense battle with Herrera.
Rooney v Aston Villa in I believe LvG's second season, honestly the game I knew there was no chance of ever seeing the old Rooney again.
Mustafi in every game 
Rooney vs Iceland at the Euros. Even though he scored, he was comfortably the worst player on the pitch and got dominated by fecking Aron Gunnarsonn in midfield.
Morata in 90% of his games with Chelsea
Torres in 70% of his games with Chelsea
Torres in 70% of his games with Chelsea
Peter Ramage v United. Think it was his first start but he was laughable. Gave us all hope! Never seen anyone dominated quite so much in such a short space of time. Subbed after 25 mins and consolidated by both sets of players as he made the long walk across the pitch from RB
In terms of referees, Clattenburg in the Chelsea v Spurs match has to be up there as one of the worst ever performances by a referee.
Who remembers Ali Dia, "George Weah's cousin"?
In November 1996, Dia convinced Graeme Sourness, then Southampton manager, that he was the cousin of FIFA World Player of the Year and Ballon d'Or winner George Weah, which led to him signing a one-month contract with Southampton days later. Dia played only one match in his short spell at the club. He came on as a substitute in a league game, but was then himself substituted. He was subsequently released, 14 days into his contract. (via wiki)
Strange story
Woodgate's debut for Real has to be up there.
Highlights included:
- Making his debut 13 months after signing for them for £14M, a hefty sum back then, thanks to injury,
- Scoring a bizarre own goal after 25 minutes,
- Getting sent off after 66 minutes for a needless second bookable offence,
- Making only 8 more appearances for Real before getting loaned to Middlesborough, and
- Being voted the worst transfer of the 21st Century by Marca readers in July 2007.
Well done, Jonathan!
Highlights included:
- Making his debut 13 months after signing for them for £14M, a hefty sum back then, thanks to injury,
- Scoring a bizarre own goal after 25 minutes,
- Getting sent off after 66 minutes for a needless second bookable offence,
- Making only 8 more appearances for Real before getting loaned to Middlesborough, and
- Being voted the worst transfer of the 21st Century by Marca readers in July 2007.
Well done, Jonathan!
Wasn't it Villa away (15/16), he looked drunk there?
He was appalling, yeah. Didn't help that between him and Young, they were both seemingly confused wrt their role.
Good shout. Poor fella still hasn't recovered from that concussion.
Good shout.
Good point, though iirc, Luiz simply went walk-about after a while, and he was nowhere to be seen in defence, when the Germans just strolled through.
Eboue, came on then subbed off 10 minutes later.
Woodgate’s debut for Real Madrid. Own goal then was sent off.
Gerrard when he was subbed on against us only to stamp on Herrera and get sent off. Think he was on pitch less than a minute.
Woodgate’s debut for Real Madrid. Own goal then was sent off.
Gerrard when he was subbed on against us only to stamp on Herrera and get sent off. Think he was on pitch less than a minute.
Jonny Evans v Man City when we lost 6-1.
Wasn’t there someone who missed 3 penalties in a match? Or do I have that wrong. Palacios for Argentina maybe?
Phil Jones. Both games against Spurs, Burnley, Derby, Valencia....
Palermo I think.
Aargh, thanks Frank. That sounds right.
As a team, Germany's performance against South Korea during the WC 2018 must have been the worst I've ever seen. The lack of pace in this game was literally comical.
David Luiz was appalling against Germany in the 7-1 defeat, but was almost equally hilarious for PSG against Barca, when Suarez nutmegged him and scored twice.
How people rate him as a defender is beyond me.
How people rate him as a defender is beyond me.
You have clip on first page
Sanchez in 95% of his games with United.
Could go one better and say the whole team against Iceland. Feck it, England under Hodgson in general was 90% woeful and 10% okay. I'm glad to see the back of his reign.
FFS
thanks ACVidic in our 4–1 win at Old Trafford in 2009. Considering he had been immense all season before that it was a real shock. I still think that one performance cost him the PFA Player of the Year award that year.
(Giggs winning it was a joke in all honesty)
(Giggs winning it was a joke in all honesty)
Ben Hamer for Huddersfield away to Man City at the start of this season. It was truly pathetic.
Hey! That was a legendary performance for two of the 3 biggest clubs in the world; United & Madrid.
Lindelof vs Huddersfield
Rooney in Michael Carrick's testimonial.