No Mata what they tell us
No Mata what they do
Woody is the bollocks
We're going to win the quadruple.
La la la.
No Mata what they do
Woody is the bollocks
We're going to win the quadruple.
La la la.
Songs for Mata
- Thread starter rednev
- Start date
-
In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik (@Rood) was joined by comedian Ali Woods to look back at the best and worst moments of a rollercoaster season with the annual United Hour Awards.
Has Ten Hag been sacked yet? We're not sure and we hope not, but it's looking more likely as the days pass.
Who should replace him and why is it taking so long to make a decision?
He's got fifty Bentley's in the West Indies
(That's our Juan Mata)
He's got a pocket full of cheese and a garden full of trees
(That's our Juan Mata)
He just won the bingo bought a crib in Rio
(That's our Juan Mata)
(That's our Juan Mata)
He's got a pocket full of cheese and a garden full of trees
(That's our Juan Mata)
He just won the bingo bought a crib in Rio
(That's our Juan Mata)
I want you to know
that I'm gonna miss your love
the minute you walk out that door,
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
that I'm gonna miss your love
the minute you walk out that door,
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
We've tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even Mata
Oh Mata,
I didn't think I'd care so much about the Carling Cup
that this signing isn't really cheering me up
right now
oh mata
I didn't think I'd care so much about the Carling Cup
that this signing isn't really cheering me up
right now
oh mata
But if you leave us now, you take away the biggest star factor
Oooo-oo-oh, boy, Mata please don't gooo!
Oooo-oo-oh, boy, Mata please don't gooo!
We've got Juan Mata,
And he can pass it wide, out to Valencia
Or maybe cut inside, nope, to Valencia
Pass to Valenciaaaaaaaaaa
Oh please Juan Mata,
Will you try something, not to Valencia
Even hit row z, not to Valencia
Pass to anyone elseeeeee
And he can pass it wide, out to Valencia
Or maybe cut inside, nope, to Valencia
Pass to Valenciaaaaaaaaaa
Oh please Juan Mata,
Will you try something, not to Valencia
Even hit row z, not to Valencia
Pass to anyone elseeeeee
We'll turn him to shit,
We'll turn him to shit,
Bring Mata to Old Trafford,
We'll turn him to shit.
We'll turn him to shit,
Bring Mata to Old Trafford,
We'll turn him to shit.
Pass it to Adnan *clap clap clap clap clap*
Pass it to Mata *clap clap clap clap clap*
Repeat for 90 minutes.
Pass it to Mata *clap clap clap clap clap*
Repeat for 90 minutes.
If you change your mind
We're the first in line
We'll pay 50 million quid
Take a chance on Real Madrid
We're the first in line
We'll pay 50 million quid
Take a chance on Real Madrid
Got short arms like a midget
Found Jose's system too rigid
So he changed from blue to red
to get picked for the world cup
It was a massive feck up
Now he plays wing-back instead
And this is the Juan
this is the Juan
this is the Juaaaan
this is the Juan
this is the Juan
we've waited for.
Found Jose's system too rigid
So he changed from blue to red
to get picked for the world cup
It was a massive feck up
Now he plays wing-back instead
And this is the Juan
this is the Juan
this is the Juaaaan
this is the Juan
this is the Juan
we've waited for.
Last edited:
he can score from 12 yards,
he can score for 12 yaa-aards,
thats why we bought him
he can score from 12 yards
or
are you fecking sure?
are you fecking su---ure?
you want to join us
are you fecking sure?
he can score for 12 yaa-aards,
thats why we bought him
he can score from 12 yards
or
are you fecking sure?
are you fecking su---ure?
you want to join us
are you fecking sure?
One plagaristic mash-up:
(from 1:00 if you don't know the tune)
Ooh! Ahh! Juan fecking Mata!
All of the Stretty will cry
Ooh! Ahh! Juan fecking Mata!
Call it unfair if you like,
But please don't take Juan Mata away
My personal favourite:
Juan fecking Mata!
Well he is Juan fecking Mata!
Who the feck are ya?
'Cause he is Juan fecking Mata!
(from 1:00 if you don't know the tune)
Ooh! Ahh! Juan fecking Mata!
All of the Stretty will cry
Ooh! Ahh! Juan fecking Mata!
Call it unfair if you like,
But please don't take Juan Mata away
My personal favourite:
Juan fecking Mata!
Well he is Juan fecking Mata!
Who the feck are ya?
'Cause he is Juan fecking Mata!
He's short
He's cute
He looks good in a suit
It's Juan Mata!
He's cute
He looks good in a suit
It's Juan Mata!
Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!
We tried so hard,
for Fabregas,
But in the end,
We went and signed Juan Mata
They thought we'd fall,
And lose it all,
But in the end,
We went and signed Juan Mata!
Linkin Park- In the end
for Fabregas,
But in the end,
We went and signed Juan Mata
They thought we'd fall,
And lose it all,
But in the end,
We went and signed Juan Mata!
Linkin Park- In the end
We got 99 problems but Mata aint Juan.
Nobody wanna see us together, but it Juan Mata no, 'cos we got you
Viva Juan Mata,
Viva Juan mata,
Mourinho's Gone Insane,
Best Player From Spain,
Viva Juan Mata!
Juan Mata Wooahh,
Juan Mata Wooahh,
He Made The Rent Boys Cry,
To Play With Januzaj!
EDIT: Taken from twitter.
Viva Juan mata,
Mourinho's Gone Insane,
Best Player From Spain,
Viva Juan Mata!
Juan Mata Wooahh,
Juan Mata Wooahh,
He Made The Rent Boys Cry,
To Play With Januzaj!
EDIT: Taken from twitter.
Juaaaan Mata there's only Juaan Mata Juaaaan Maata there's only Juaaan Mata
Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata! Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata.
Juan Garcia Mata,
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
Juan Garcia Mata
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
There's that as well.
Juan Garcia Mata,
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
Juan Garcia Mata
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
There's that as well.
Dunno...I always think it nicer when clubs make up their own chants rather than take from previous clubs players have been at.Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata! Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata.
Juan Garcia Mata,
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
Juan Garcia Mata
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
There's that as well.
Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata! Mata, Mata, Mata, Mata.
Juan Garcia Mata,
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
Juan Garcia Mata
There's only Juan Garcia Mata!
There's that as well.
Plus the fact United's fans are generally more creative than Chewsea's.
Give Juan the ball, he'll do it all,
Give Juan the ball he'll do it all.
to the same tune as jermaine defoe song
Give Juan the ball he'll do it all.
to the same tune as jermaine defoe song
All we are saying....is give Juan a chance
(in the instance Moyes does a Mourinho, which I severely doubt)
(in the instance Moyes does a Mourinho, which I severely doubt)
Hakuna Juan Mata
That would be class
You're the Juan that I want
You are the Juan I want
Ooh ooh ooh
Mata
You are the Juan I want
Ooh ooh ooh
Mata
(Sung to the tune of Hakuna Matata)
It means no worries, for the rest of your daaaaaaysss.. It's an emergency, record transfer fee, we signed Juan Mata!
It means no worries, for the rest of your daaaaaaysss.. It's an emergency, record transfer fee, we signed Juan Mata!
Fixed
A reuse, all original lyrics by myself of course.
Bohejuan Juapsody
Is this the real life?
Is this just muppetry?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from bullshitry
Open your eyes
Look up to the Sky and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need to play you see
Because I'm "easy come, in the hole"
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn't really Mata to me, to me
Mata, just left Roman
Put a gun against his head
Triggered my clause, now he's dead
Mata, PL had just begun
But now Jose's gone and thrown it all away
Mata, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not in Manchester this time tomorrow
Carrington, Carrington, as if nothing really Matas
Too late, transfer deadline day has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Finger's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face Stretford End
Mata, ooo - (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been bought at all
I see a little silhouette-o of a Juan
Scaramouche, scaramouche, feck away you Mourinho
Twitter bolts and updates -- very, very frightening me
Gillileo, Gillileo,
Gillileo, Gillileo,
Gillileo, Fergiero -- Moyesifico!
I'm just a poor boy, Jose don't love me
He's just a poor boy from a shit company
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go -- will you let me go?
Woodwardah! No! We will not let you go! -- Let him go!
Woodwardah! We will not let you go! -- Let him go!
Woodwardah! We will not let you go! -- Let me go!
Will not let you go! -- Let me go! Never!
Never let you go! -- Let me go!
Never let me go! -- ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh Mata mia, Mata mia, Mata mia! Let me go!
United has a devil put aside for me!
for me!
for me!!
So you think you can bench me and stop all my shots
So you think you can love me and leave me to rot
Oh Jose -- can't do this to me, Jose
Just gotta get out -- just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really Matas
Anyone can see
Nothing really Matas
Nothing really Matas to me[/quote]
Is this the real life?
Is this just muppetry?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from bullshitry
Open your eyes
Look up to the Sky and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need to play you see
Because I'm "easy come, in the hole"
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn't really Mata to me, to me
Mata, just left Roman
Put a gun against his head
Triggered my clause, now he's dead
Mata, PL had just begun
But now Jose's gone and thrown it all away
Mata, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not in Manchester this time tomorrow
Carrington, Carrington, as if nothing really Matas
Too late, transfer deadline day has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Finger's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face Stretford End
Mata, ooo - (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been bought at all
I see a little silhouette-o of a Juan
Scaramouche, scaramouche, feck away you Mourinho
Twitter bolts and updates -- very, very frightening me
Gillileo, Gillileo,
Gillileo, Gillileo,
Gillileo, Fergiero -- Moyesifico!
I'm just a poor boy, Jose don't love me
He's just a poor boy from a shit company
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go -- will you let me go?
Woodwardah! No! We will not let you go! -- Let him go!
Woodwardah! We will not let you go! -- Let him go!
Woodwardah! We will not let you go! -- Let me go!
Will not let you go! -- Let me go! Never!
Never let you go! -- Let me go!
Never let me go! -- ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh Mata mia, Mata mia, Mata mia! Let me go!
United has a devil put aside for me!
for me!
for me!!
So you think you can bench me and stop all my shots
So you think you can love me and leave me to rot
Oh Jose -- can't do this to me, Jose
Just gotta get out -- just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really Matas
Anyone can see
Nothing really Matas
Nothing really Matas to me[/quote]
Juan Mata
He loves his fata
Juan Mata
He loves his mota
Juan Mata
He loves his fata
Juan Mata
He loves his mota
Juan Mata
Thats pretty good - could see that taking off.
First thing that came to my mind was this, but the words need reworking a bit
O dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
O dear, what can the matter be?
Johnny's so long at the fair.
He promised he'd buy me a fairing should please me,
And then for a kiss, oh! he vowed he would tease me,
He promised he'd bring me a bunch of blue ribbons,
To tie up my bonny brown hair
O dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
O dear, what can the matter be?
Johnny's so long at the fair.
He promised he'd buy me a fairing should please me,
And then for a kiss, oh! he vowed he would tease me,
He promised he'd bring me a bunch of blue ribbons,
To tie up my bonny brown hair
Juan Mata-
The playmaker from Spain
Who'll play with Wayne
He'll make opponents beg for Marcy
Alongside Robin Van Persie!
The playmaker from Spain
Who'll play with Wayne
He'll make opponents beg for Marcy
Alongside Robin Van Persie!
''Nossa, nossa
Assim você me Mata
Ai se eu te pego
Ai ai se eu te pego''
Someone come up with some more appropriate lyrics for this one.
Assim você me Mata
Ai se eu te pego
Ai ai se eu te pego''
Someone come up with some more appropriate lyrics for this one.
Brilliance from Butty19 (Newbs'):
Just the bolded bit on the stands. Would be fecking AMAZING!