Footballers crying

[simonhch]

The first time I can remember seeing a player cry was Gazza in 1990. Even at 10 years old, I thought it was a bit much to break into tears. But in those times it at least seemed to be a rare exception.

But how times have changed. We see grown arse men in their 20s and 30s bursting into tears after big defeats. We even had Neymar weeping in a press conference. How does everyone else feel about this?

It obviously hurts to lose a big final or semi, but publicly weeping over it? I watched Salah go off injured in floods of tears, and i couldn’t help thinking “what a baby!”. Am I being too antiquated here? Is it a fair expression of emotion for adult men to cry so much? Or am I right to ridicule these mewling quims for the spoiled man child they clearly are?

What say you caftards?

 

[Snow]

Are you British?

 

[whatwha]

It's gotten a bit much from certain players. But no-one should be judged for crying just because they're boys or men. Feck traditional gender roles.

 

[SteveJ]

Roy Keane wouldn't cry even when he was crying!

 

[Loublaze]

Let them cry I say. Better to let out those raw emotions out sometimes than to hold them in. Nothing wrong with it. There's too many stigmas attached to men crying.

 

[vangagal]

Whats wrong with crying? Such a horrible view you had.

 

[Keeps It tidy]

One of the best parts of sports is the emotion I am fine with players crying it shows they are passionate and that they care about more than the money.

 

[Eboue]

they should practice getting kicked in the shins so they learn not to cry

 

[simonhch]

Are you British?

Yes. English.

Roy Keane wouldn't cry even when he was crying!

I remember his booking to rule him out of the 99 final. He just got on with the job.

Whats wrong with crying? Such a horrible view you had.

There’s nothing wrong with crying. That said, I find it hard to empathize with a grown man crying over work - it is their job after all - or fans who cry at the game (except kids).

 

[SteveJ]

Yes but Keano's a psychopath, chief.

 

[Fridge chutney]

Better to cry than bottling up emotion only for it to manifest in horrible ways later.

 

[simonhch]

Better to cry than bottling up emotion only for it to manifest in horrible ways later.

Are those the only two options?

Just seems to me that young people are very soft these days. Ever had to hire a millennial?

 

[vangagal]

There’s nothing wrong with crying. That said, I find it hard to empathize with a grown man crying over work - it is their job after all - or fans who cry at the game (except kids).

You are truly a horrible boss then. It is hard for you to grasp that some people just that passionate about something?

 

[Boogie Man]

I seriously wonder whether it has anything to do with the PEDs most sportsmen are taking, and it's playing havoc with their hormones.

I never cry, EXCEPT, if I've had a really heavy weekend, been taking some naughty drugs (normally stimulants), and then on the comedown I watch a sad movie or even a TV show, then I might get a little bit watery eyed. Makes me a bit suspicious of other sportsmen who can't hold back the tears, and makes me think "what the hell cocktail of drugs must they be taking to get themselves into that state?"

 

[SteveJ]

I'm still blubbing over the royal wedding *sniffs* and your OP has made me cry again, you big meanie!!!

 

[simonhch]

You are truly a horrible boss then. It is hard for you to grasp that some people just that passionate about something?

Calm down.

I’ve never had a male employee cry. Like ever. If they did, I’d assume something awful was wrong, and we’d deal with it. But if it was a regular occurrence with them crying if a big presentation went down the tubes or something, I’d start to seriously question their mental fortitude.

 

[simonhch]

I'm still blubbing over the royal wedding *sniffs* and your OP has made me cry again, you big meanie!!!

Shut up.

 

[SteveJ]

Well, we can't all carry on like Steven Segal in Under Pants 27: The Final, Final Reckoning...

 

[vangagal]

I'm still blubbing over the royal wedding *sniffs* and your OP has made me cry again, you big meanie!!!

I imagine you crying on Kylie Jenner's shoulder Steve.

 

[SteveJ]

I imagine you crying on Kylie Jenner's shoulder Steve.

Yes, I'm pathetic.

 

[Blackwidow]

Calm down.

I’ve never had a male employee cry. Like ever. If they did, I’d assume something awful was wrong, and we’d deal with it. But if it was a regular occurrence with them crying if a big presentation went down the tubes or something, I’d start to seriously question their mental fortitude.

I would not take the normal work environment as a comparison.

The players usually are exhausted, too. That adds to it.

What irritates me more is when people judge players that do not cry as less passionate. Some simply do not want to show their emotions in front of dozens of cameras.

 

[FrantikChicken]

There’s nothing wrong with crying. That said, I find it hard to empathize with a grown man crying over work - it is their job after all - or fans who cry at the game (except kids).

Fans - I agree

Footballers - I don't think you're taking into consideration what these moments actually mean to them. Most of these players have been on the training pitch every day of the week since they were like 9 years old, working relentlessly for this one moment - to be a champions league winner (for example), only to have it taken away by a single tackle. This is their life, and for most of them this kind of chance literally comes once and that's it.

You thinking you're more manly because you don't cry when you don't finish your excel spreadsheet at work this week isn't exactly the same thing.

EDIT: do you not think Elon Musk would cry if he were told tomorrow he can absolutely no longer pursue his dream of flying in space? Yes, his goal is a lot more noble and useful than winning a football match but people have different talents and if they've worked harder than anyone else to build towards their goals (whatever they may be), failure only becomes more and more difficult to accept.

 

[vangagal]

Calm down.

I’ve never had a male employee cry. Like ever. If they did, I’d assume something awful was wrong, and we’d deal with it. But if it was a regular occurrence with them crying if a big presentation went down the tubes or something, I’d start to seriously question their mental fortitude.

Well, footballer is not like normal daily job no?

 

[Dec9003]

Sorry hard

 

[simonhch]

Fans - I agree

Footballers - I don't think you're taking into consideration what these moments actually mean to them. Most of these players have been on the training pitch every day of the week since they were like 9 years old, working relentlessly for this one moment - to be a champions league winner (for example), only to have it taken away by a single tackle. This is their life, and for most of them this kind of chance literally comes once and that's it.

You thinking you're more manly because you don't cry when you don't finish your excel spreadsheet at work this week isn't exactly the same thing.

EDIT: do you not think Elon Musk would cry if he were told tomorrow he can absolutely no longer pursue his dream of flying in space? Yes, his goal is a lot more noble and useful than winning a football match but people have different talents and if they've worked harder than anyone else to build towards their goals (whatever they may be), failure only becomes more and more difficult to accept.

I don’t know what Elon would. I suspect you don’t either. I’ve faced some enormous challenges and life changing disappointments in my life. Can’t say I’ve ever burst into tears about it though. I’m not sure it’s a question of manliness. Just more of mental fortitude.

 

[Boogie Man]

Fans - I agree

Footballers - I don't think you're taking into consideration what these moments actually mean to them. Most of these players have been on the training pitch every day of the week since they were like 9 years old, working relentlessly for this one moment - to be a champions league winner (for example), only to have it taken away by a single tackle. This is their life, and for most of them this kind of chance literally comes once and that's it.

You thinking you're more manly because you don't cry when you don't finish your excel spreadsheet at work this week isn't exactly the same thing.

EDIT: do you not think Elon Musk would cry if he were told tomorrow he can absolutely no longer pursue his dream of flying in space? Yes, his goal is a lot more noble and useful than winning a football match but people have different talents and if they've worked harder than anyone else to build towards their goals (whatever they may be), failure only becomes more and more difficult to accept.

This is just it though, it's these involuntary tears I find strange (I assume they are involuntary). Can they not at least hold them back till they get to the dressing room? Not saying they have to, just wondering why they are crying involuntary though? I've had massive personal disappointments myself, built up a business, put my life and soul into it, made money I could have only dreamt of, then ended up losing EVERYTHING! Not just a little football match, but my livelihood, my home, even some friends, not to mention my dignity. Sure I felt depressed for months, and maybe once I had a little cry to myself when I was feeling sorry for myself and absolutely knew I was on my own, but never would I have cried in front of others, especially not in front of cameras, you pick yourself up and go again. Makes me think there is more to it with these players, that most of them are on something that's playing havoc with their hormones.

 

[FrantikChicken]

I don’t know what Elon would. I suspect you don’t either. I’ve faced some enormous challenges and life changing disappointments in my life. Can’t say I’ve ever burst into tears about it though. I’m not sure it’s a question of manliness. Just more of mental fortitude.

We all go through enormous challenges. To assume you know what theirs feel like is quite ignorant. When they experience this failure, they're usually high on adrenaline with their bodies working at their maximum. I'm sure that has an effect on their emotional response.

Also, some of these players (Salah for example), are not only representing themselves but their country. When do you think will be the next time an Egyptian man will have a chance at winning the CL? I'm sure he had his whole country watching. Players from smaller football places often have a lot more on their shoulders. Their nation looks up to them. Have you ever had to represent your country in such a scenario?

 

[Eboue]

EDIT: do you not think Elon Musk would cry if he were told tomorrow he can absolutely no longer pursue his dream of flying in space? Yes, his goal is a lot more noble and useful than winning a football match but people have different talents and if they've worked harder than anyone else to build towards their goals (whatever they may be), failure only becomes more and more difficult to accept.

He would cry if someone told him to stop union busting. Hes currently having an extended meltdown because a newspaper wrote something mildly critical of him.

 

[FrantikChicken]

This is just it though, it's these involuntary tears I find strange (I assume they are involuntary). Can they not at least hold them back till they get to the dressing room? Not saying they have to, just wondering why they are crying involuntary though? I've had massive personal disappointments myself, built up a business, put my life and soul into it, made money I could have only dreamt of, then ended up losing EVERYTHING! Not just a little football match, but my livelihood, my home, even some friends, not to mention my dignity. Sure I felt depressed for months, and maybe once I had a little cry to myself when I was feeling sorry for myself and absolutely knew I was on my own, but never would I have cried in front of others, especially not in front of cameras, you pick yourself up and go again. Makes me think there is more to it with these players, that most of them are on something that's playing havoc with their hormones.

Your business and a football final are really not the same thing though. Yes you failed, but as you said you can try again. You can build a business when you're 30, 40, 50, 70 years old. Realistically most players have the highest chance of participating in a CL final when they're between what, 25 and 32? That's a 7 year window. It's literally once in a lifetime chance, and in Salah's case it was taken away from him through no fault of his own

 

[BennyBlanco]

Better to cry than bottling up emotion only for it to manifest in horrible ways later.

Footballers are going to turn into murderers and nutters if they try and control their emotions?
Also think theres a debate to be had on if men are taught to control their emotions or suppress existance of them.
Because one is vastly different than the other?

Anyway..
Personally on the subject I couldn't care less, my dad, baby boomer generation but big lefty, frowns on it more than I do, just a generational thing.

 

[Charles Miller]

Since your reaction when Salah was crying was "what a baby", let me ask you this: do you think you are tougher than Salah?

 

[simonhch]

We all go through enormous challenges. To assume you know what theirs feel like is quite ignorant. When they experience this failure, they're usually high on adrenaline with their bodies working at their maximum. I'm sure that has an effect on their emotional response.

Also, some of these players (Salah for example), are not only representing themselves but their country. When do you think will be the next time an Egyptian man will have a chance at winning the CL? I'm sure he had his whole country watching. Players from smaller football places often have a lot more on their shoulders. Their nation looks up to them. Have you ever had to represent your country in such a scenario?

Who’s assuming I know what they feel like? I’m asking a question about what people think of the crying we see in the modern age of football. I don’t believe it was always as prevalent.

I’ve never had a huge issue with players crying over missing a penalty in a shootout in a big final for example. Even if I can’t really empathize with that response. We are all different. What gets me more, is the time extent to which it’s become more prevalent. You see players crying over much less momentous things now.

Also, you, like others, have made an effort to contextualise the “grief”, by saying a regular job doesn’t equate to that same level of emotion or passion etc. But let’s pull all the factors in. Life doesn’t start and stop at the football pitch. Let’s say you lose a big game, and you might never achieve your ultimate dreams as a result. But you are still a multi millionaire with a life time of security. And then compare that to someone who started their own business and it went bankrupt; and now they have to worry about putting food on the table. In that context one sounds a lot worse than the other.

I’m actually not trying to compare. I’m just saying that the picture changes depending on which elements you choose to highlight as part of your quest to contextualise.

 

[simonhch]

Since your reaction when Salah was crying was "what a baby", let me ask you this: do you think you are tougher than Salah?

I don’t know. But in that moment, that was my reaction to his reaction. And it got me thinking about how often we see this. Tbh I don’t know his life story. He might have over come tremendous adversity to get to this point.

 

[FrantikChicken]

One more thing I've just though of. I'm no psychologist but I think it's a valid point to make:

People's behaviour changes when they're being watched. Footballers know they're being seen live by millions of people. I'm not saying this has an effect on their emotional response, but perhaps. Most of us don't experience going through faliure while the world is watching.

 

[simonhch]

One more thing I've just though of. I'm no psychologist but I think it's a valid point to make:

People's behaviour changes when they're being watched. Footballers know they're being seen live by millions of people. I'm not saying this has an effect on their emotional response, but perhaps. Most of us don't experience going through faliure while the world is watching.

That’s a valid point, and one I couldn’t possibly pretend to understand or have experienced.

 

[Fridge chutney]

Are those the only two options?

Just seems to me that young people are very soft these days. Ever had to hire a millennial?

No it isn't, but it is a possibility. Showing emotion isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I am a millennial and I have hired milennials. One I hired was the best employee I've ever had. Hard working, intellogent and humble.

 

[FrantikChicken]

Who’s assuming I know what they feel like? I’m asking a question about what people think of the crying we see in the modern age of football. I don’t believe it was always as prevalent.

I’ve never had a huge issue with players crying over missing a penalty in a shootout in a big final for example. Even if I can’t really empathize with that response. We are all different. What gets me more, is the time extent to which it’s become more prevalent. You see players crying over much less momentous things now.

Also, you, like others, have made an effort to contextualise the “grief”, by saying a regular job doesn’t equate to that same level of emotion or passion etc. But let’s pull all the factors in. Life doesn’t start and stop at the football pitch. Let’s say you lose a big game, and you might never achieve your ultimate dreams as a result. But you are still a multi millionaire with a life time of security. And then compare that to someone who started their own business and it went bankrupt; and now they have to worry about putting food on the table. In that context one sounds a lot worse than the other.

I’m actually not trying to compare. I’m just saying that the picture changes depending on which elements you choose to highlight as part of your quest to contextualise.

It does, but we all see our own lives as the most important thing at that current moment. I mean really if you look at it that way, there's children dying of starvation everyday, so does that mean none of us should really cry about anything?

 

[Steven7290]

Because it's important to them, because they are emotional people, because everyone is different inside and out. It's only the society that constructs a set of standard for people to behave, such as crying means having a weak mental fortitude, but naturally there's no such thing.
To me nothing is that important, including life itself so I don't sympathize with people about it, but I do share the empathy, even admire the passion some people have somewhat.

 

[Fridge chutney]

Footballers are going to turn into murderers and nutters if they try and control their emotions?
Also think theres a debate to be had on if men are taught to control their emotions or suppress existance of them.
Because one is vastly different than the other?

Anyway..
Personally on the subject I couldn't care less, my dad, baby boomer generation but big lefty, frowns on it more than I do, just a generational thing.

Ummm.... no that's not exactly what I was saying. There is a middle ground.

I just don't get why people showing emotion is bad.

Stoicism and stiff upper lip mentality seems a bit outdated. But if it works for you, fair enough.

 

[simonhch]

It does, but we all see our own lives as the most important thing at that current moment. I mean really if you look at it that way, there's children dying of starvation everyday, so does that mean none of us should really cry about anything?

Again, I wasn’t looking to make comparisons, merely highlighting the folly of attempting to do so. Something we apparently now agree on.