Deadly first touch…literally.
9
Season Average Rating
- Appearances
- 45
- Goals
- 15
- Assists
- 3
- Yellow cards
- 5
- Status
Remember when he was being compared to Kane?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha.
I'm sorry but he's so flipping sh!t - can you imagine Kane doing that? Honestly we need to part ways when we get a new manager.
Nice finish for his goal and a few other decent moments, yet at times looked woefully out of touch, so many of our attacks broke down in the 2nd half because he couldn't keep possession.
The most glaring example of a player that needs to be carried by a good team and who cannot create anything on his own. Incredibly low bottom level.
Here's the full version with the replay & no commentary
He's your Giroud.
Will still score 20 + in all competitions but touch and overall quality below that elite level of likes of Aguero and Salah.
Will still score 20 + in all competitions but touch and overall quality below that elite level of likes of Aguero and Salah.
He won't score 20 - he's not below Aguero and Salah. The way he's playing he's below league 1 strikers. Giroud had a great touch - some of Arsenal's best team goals involve his touches which I can never imagine with Lukaku.
I'd happily take Giroud right now.
Giroud is far better.
He's done exactly that in the last four seasons in a row. He is just going through a horrific patch of form, and by the size of him its self inflicted.
If he hits 15 this season he'll be lucky.
Lukaku in premier league seasons:
12-13- 17 goals for West Brom. Very impressed considering he was 18 and didn't always get a start ahead of likes of Odemwingie and Shane Long (who was actually good in those days).
13-14- 15 goals in debut season for Everton.
14-15- 10 premier league goals. Poor for him but he did score loads in europa league.
15-16- 18 premier league goals. Best return and also scored a fair few in FA cup so got up past 20 that way.
16-17- Just the 25 premier league goals in his final Everton season.
17-18- 16 premier league goals last season plus plenty more in the cups.
Just 5 so far but he has scored a fair few for Belgium.
12-13- 17 goals for West Brom. Very impressed considering he was 18 and didn't always get a start ahead of likes of Odemwingie and Shane Long (who was actually good in those days).
13-14- 15 goals in debut season for Everton.
14-15- 10 premier league goals. Poor for him but he did score loads in europa league.
15-16- 18 premier league goals. Best return and also scored a fair few in FA cup so got up past 20 that way.
16-17- Just the 25 premier league goals in his final Everton season.
17-18- 16 premier league goals last season plus plenty more in the cups.
Just 5 so far but he has scored a fair few for Belgium.
I’d have Giroud with one leg over Lukaku.
Seems like he hardly scores for Chelsea nowadays and can't get a regular start ahead of Morata so Chelsea would welcome your interest.
Has hit rock bottom. We can only hope a new manager gives him the lift needed. He looks like he only went to the gym the last 2 years and barely kicked a ball. His first touch was never great, but currently it is atrocious. He is slow and heavy in everything he does.
Agreed, he had a go at Dalot for overhitting a ball into the channel and I just thought - really? Coming from the man who fecked nearly every counter attack up?
His first touch is like a blackadder joke. ‘Martial was made the main striker after the previous main striker accidentally, brutally broke his own ankle while receiving the ball.’.
Context for those who don’t know what blackadder is:
After an obviously rigged election when it is revealed that Blackadder is both the constituency's returning officer (whose predecessor died when he accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving) and voter (whose predecessor accidentally brutally cut his head off while combing his hair), Baldrick is made an MP in a landslide victory.
Context for those who don’t know what blackadder is:
After an obviously rigged election when it is revealed that Blackadder is both the constituency's returning officer (whose predecessor died when he accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving) and voter (whose predecessor accidentally brutally cut his head off while combing his hair), Baldrick is made an MP in a landslide victory.
He helps his teammates far more than Lukaku, and since both don't score much, then Giroud offers more as a target man.
If you read this thread you'd be amazed to learn that Lukaku has 5 goals in 10 starts with 3 sub appearances.
He's not great sure, but he's okay.
He's not great sure, but he's okay.
Should have scored in the beginning of the match, why he decides to shoot when the keeper is in his face is impossible to understand. If he scores there, the game changes drastically - just like it would against Spurs.
The second big letdown was late on when he fails to play Martial through on goal. If that was Pogba, Martial is clean through with only the keeper to beat. Lukaku fumbles the ball and the situation never happens. Not good enough
The second big letdown was late on when he fails to play Martial through on goal. If that was Pogba, Martial is clean through with only the keeper to beat. Lukaku fumbles the ball and the situation never happens. Not good enough
He's never had a decent first touch but with his size, speed, and agility, he was still a threat to midtable clubs and below in the past, even last season.
For some bizarre reason, he's transformed his body habitus to that of a strongman since last season and looks significantly slower with even worse first touch.
Why is that so many of our players get so big after signing for us? Is there some heavylifting competition with all you can eat buffet at Old Trafford?
For some bizarre reason, he's transformed his body habitus to that of a strongman since last season and looks significantly slower with even worse first touch.
Why is that so many of our players get so big after signing for us? Is there some heavylifting competition with all you can eat buffet at Old Trafford?
New manager, whenever he's appointed, needs to take a look at our training and nutrionist and all that shit.
Lukaku is the latest in a long line of players who have come here and piled on weight, either through getting too muscly like Valencia and Depay or just getting fat like Schweinsteiger and Rooney.
It's a recurring problem.
Lukaku is the latest in a long line of players who have come here and piled on weight, either through getting too muscly like Valencia and Depay or just getting fat like Schweinsteiger and Rooney.
It's a recurring problem.
He should just retire from football and switch to heavyweight boxing. He'll have a good career there. He has only one problem, that he's playing the wrong sport.
Yeah, I believe that's 5 in 13. That's not okay and he is not okay.
Him nearly injuring himself trying to control a ball lying almost still is pretty much the funniest moment of 2018, absolutely priceless
He's a big useless lummox.
Get him out the club for fecks sake. He's not fit to wear our shirt. He can't play football.
Get him out the club for fecks sake. He's not fit to wear our shirt. He can't play football.
The goal wasn't a shot . That was his first touch that ended up in the back of the net.
Needs to get back into shape and form, will score plenty for us in a functional team.
It'd be interesting to see a map of his touches. Hes a striker.. But I'd lay a heavy bet that the majority of his involvement in play is at least 20 yards outside the box.
Its 1 goal every 2 games he's started.
There's like 7 forwards in the league that are better than a goal every 2 starts and have played more than a few games. So he's a top 10 striker in the league which is okay, not good or great.
Weird comparison, he's the opposite of Giroud.
If Giroud had Lukaku’s athleticism/mobility, he’d be playing for the likes of Real or Barca. Only his lack of pace prevented him from being a world class striker, his technical side is excellent.
That's while in what everyone (including both himself and the manager) recognise as poor form too.
Now imagine what you'd have done if you'd watched the match... I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or just break something watching that in real time
Lukaku and mobility ?
His athleticism and physical condition were the biggest advantage he had over defenders, don't know what happened but he completely fecked it up in the past few months.
Last edited:
Are you denying last season happened? He’s a 20 plus goals per season striker.
- Status