I've stayed away from this page and COVID numbers as of late and just cracked on with work.
I had two patients, literally bed-neighbours, die within 2 minutes of each other today. Absolutely terrible. We were trying to help the first one, despite her being on maximal treatment (OptiFlow), and could see the gentleman next to her visibly entering the stages of dying in our eyes. Literally nothing we can do.
It's truly heartbreaking even after all these months. It's draining, and I'm absolutely shattered from those people who still don't take it seriously or those who say that "the government are releasing false numbers" or "ThEy pUt COVID oN the dEaTh cErtiFicAte even though they died of something else".
That is absolutely bollocks. In my 5 years of working as a doctor, I've completed more death certificates in the last 8 months than I have in the first 4 years of working combined - and not once have I put the words of COVID down unless that's the thing that's killed them.
I'm dreading the winter pressures already - our hospital is already beyond full capacity and the daily recording released the information that we have 102 COVID patients admitted at present. Granted, a certain percentage are asymptomatic who happen to have it along with another issue - but I'll tell you what - I'd love to see one of those patients round about now because I don't see them.
I completely understand that from a non-medical point of view, this is infuriating/terrible in a different manner to mine. Some people can't even work because of this. I couldn't imagine not working during the last few months. Staying at home with feck all to do for weeks intermittently sounds very shit.
Unfortunately, until a vaccine comes, people are going to have to accept this as a way of living for the time being.
Seeing a 50 and 60 odd year old dying today - with barely a medical co-morbidity to their name - is a daily reminder that it isn't a poxy virus.
I'm scared shitless for my parents. I don't want to see them just in case I manage to bring it to them on a strand of my hair.