Which current United player could beat the rest of the team in a fight?

711

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Wan-Bissaka for me, he's fast and he doesn't miss.
From the past Quinton Fortune, I saw him threaten some European tosser once and said tosser was actually shaking.
Wasn't Nani a martial arts winner of some sort? I might be confused with that one.
 

NicolaSacco

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Wtf guys. He looks like a 10 year old boy :lol:
Anyone who thinks Williams would stand a chance in hell against Maguire or Matic is using some bizarre logic to get to that conclusion. You’re looking for a combination of height, weight and strength. Williams is probably in the bottom 3 in those categories.
 

Chairman Steve

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There’s a stats joke in there somewhere about ‘successful take-ons’ and ‘constantly beating his man’
 

Gator Nate

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Williams would get himself into a fight, and the winner might look like the loser afterwards, but the winner won't be Williams.

Pogba's a flat-out beast. Matic is Serbian. Cavani's an effing bull-fighter. Maguire's a bar brawler. Scott is a 6' 4" Scot. Who cares WHO wins this Battle Royale? It'll simply be good entertainment.
 

duffer

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He was a boxer for a few years and won a few novice fights afaik. Let's face it, if he could hold his own against the likes of Viera, he can handle Pogba.
Keane is short and skinny, the likes of Maguire or Pogba would just pick him up and throw him into the closest river, regardless of him having a few boxing lessons when he was 15.
 

dalriada

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Scotty's cultivated that "hard as nails" look, so I'd go with him, I think. Bailly looks as if he would take someone out without batting an eyelid, though.

From previous teams it would have to be Nemanja Vidić. I remember SAF saying he had to talk him out of going back to Serbia to join the army when trouble broke out with Kosovo in 2008.
 

Dante

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I'm gonna throw Lee Grant's name into the hat. Same height as Maguire and McTominay, but seems to carry a lot more mass than both.

Plus, he's bald which makes him more angry and aggressive than normal people.
 

Gentleman Jim

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Mc Tominay will keep battling you.
Pogba looks like Mr One Punch to me.
 

TwoSheds

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Keane is a fecking midget next to Matic, Bailly or Pogba. United fans obsession with thinking Keane was some kind of grim reaper is one of the most comical things ever
He was a midget next to Vieira as well and yet Vieira's still running. There's a lot to be said for being a psycho if you want to win a fight.
 

OverratedOpinion

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I think Pogba trains MMA as a hobby, with literally nothing else to go from I would probably say him.

The idea of "hard" footballers is always a bit ridiculous.
 

OrcaFat

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Keane is a fecking midget next to Matic, Bailly or Pogba. United fans obsession with thinking Keane was some kind of grim reaper is one of the most comical things ever
Keane is like Begbie. He’d beat most of them as long as there are no rules whatsoever. In a fair fight his slight build would be a serious disadvantage.
 

yumtum

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A hard footballer is an oxymoron, put 99% of them in a fight and they'd crap themselves.

Also, everyone assuming the taller players would be hard purely for the fact they're tall! :lol: one of the hardest people I know is about 5'7 and I'd bet him against most "normal" people, he also has no "training" like kickboxing.

Teden Mengi would be my pick though for no obvious reason other than the fact he's quite a unit, has a bit of width and crazy eyes.
 

TsuWave

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He was a midget next to Vieira as well and yet Vieira's still running. There's a lot to be said for being a psycho if you want to win a fight.
See. This is the weird fanfiction stuff you guys do. Keane is only intimidating to dweebs. l know we are United fans, but the idea that Vieira wouldn’t fold Keane like an IKEA futon is comical

Patrick Vieira would have killed me in a fight,” says Roy Keane[source]

Keane, writing in his new autobiography The Second Half , said his old midfield foe Vieira would have come out on top in a scrap between them at the height of their rivalry.

Patrick Vieira: Roy Keane's right, I would beat him in a fight [source]

Vieira running from Keane :lol: Just cause Vieira is an affable guy who doesn’t feel the need to frown every 5 seconds to sell these “psycho” wolf tickets doesn’t mean he’s not fully aware he would have bodied Keane. These Keane fantasies and tall tales need to cease.
 

TwoSheds

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See. This is the weird fanfiction stuff you guys do. Keane is only intimidating to dweebs. l know we are United fans, but the idea that Vieira wouldn’t fold Keane like an IKEA futon is comical

Patrick Vieira would have killed me in a fight,” says Roy Keane[source]

Keane, writing in his new autobiography The Second Half , said his old midfield foe Vieira would have come out on top in a scrap between them at the height of their rivalry.

Patrick Vieira: Roy Keane's right, I would beat him in a fight [source]

Vieira running from Keane :lol: Just cause Vieira is an affable guy who doesn’t feel the need to frown every 5 seconds to sell these “psycho” wolf tickets doesn’t mean he’s not fully aware he would have bodied Keane. These Keane fantasies and tall tales need to cease.
No it literally happened in a game dude. Vieira went into hiding, being a bitch is quite an issue in a fight.
 

TsuWave

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No it literally happened in a game dude. Vieira went into hiding, being a bitch is quite an issue in a fight.
Yeah well, good thing they’re both aware Keane was getting dropped, but if you want to hold on to your fantasies, so be it.
 

Ronaldo's ego

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Keane is a fecking midget next to Matic, Bailly or Pogba. United fans obsession with thinking Keane was some kind of grim reaper is one of the most comical things ever
Size matters but not as much as heart, plus Keane actually boxed if I’m not wrong. Knowing how to actually fight is a big plus because most people can’t fight for shit. I’ve known and seen small skinny rakes knock out much bigger men.
 

spaceboyRSA

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It's incredible how people don't understand "Size of the fight in a dog" over the "size of a dog in a fight" concept.
Within reason of course. No matter how gutsy a chihuahua is, it will still get killed by a chilled Great Dane. Unless of course if gets stuck in the Danes throat.
 

Mainoldo

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Pogba as he trains. But on looks. Matic and Shaw look like they would f you up.
 

TsuWave

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Size matters but not as much as heart, plus Keane actually boxed if I’m not wrong. Knowing how to actually fight is a big plus because most people can’t fight for shit. I’ve known and seen small skinny rakes knock out much bigger men.
you’re talking to someone that has fought for a living. Size matters. All these intangibles like “heart” sound cool and all but I guarantee you Keane would get mollywhopped by some of the players in our squad. He’s not the superman badman this forum wants to build him up to be. It’s the harsh realities. and I legit think only sheltered people find Keane intimidating but alas, that’s a different conversation
 

OL29

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you’re talking to someone that has fought for a living. Size matters. All these intangibles like “heart” sound cool and all but I guarantee you Keane would get mollywhopped by some of the players in our squad. He’s not the superman badman this forum wants to build him up to be. It’s the harsh realities. and I legit think only sheltered people find Keane intimidating but alas, that’s a different conversation
:lol:
 

Nick7

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McTominay definitely has that bucky mentality. Bailly is a dark horse because you’d never really know what he’s going to do, because quite honestly he doesn’t have a clue either.
 

HaliRed

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you’re talking to someone that has fought for a living. Size matters. All these intangibles like “heart” sound cool and all but I guarantee you Keane would get mollywhopped by some of the players in our squad. He’s not the superman badman this forum wants to build him up to be. It’s the harsh realities. and I legit think only sheltered people find Keane intimidating but alas, that’s a different conversation
It's not heart I am talking about but rather about having that screw loose in the head. Of course size plays a factor, but we are not talking about a child vs an adult. Keane was not a tiny fellow by any accounts. I wouldn't pick him against Zlatan who also has a screw loose but is sizeably larger, but I would bet he'd have destroyed Mick McCarthy who was bigger than him if it had come to blows. Same goes for Viera.

Vinnie Jones on the other hand....lol