Frenkie de Jong | The last muppeting lap
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik (@Rood) was joined by comedian Ali Woods to look back at the best and worst moments of a rollercoaster season with the annual United Hour Awards.
Has Ten Hag been sacked yet? We're not sure and we hope not, but it's looking more likely as the days pass.
Who should replace him and why is it taking so long to make a decision?
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Nah, no license plate.
I am the Muppet
I am Berbaclass as you are Berbaclass as you are Frenkie
And we are all Muppets
See how they panic when Sport's trolling
See how they lie
I'm crying
Sitting on RedCafe
Waiting for Orny's tweet to come
LuckyScouts report, another bloody Big Day
Ehsanul you've been a naughty boy
You only post when it goes wrong
I am unzipping
They are unzipping
I am the Muppet
Goo goo Eto'o
Mister Frenkie's agent sitting
Pretty little Mikky with her beau
See how they cry looking at the Manchester sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Third tier journo
Talking shit on a channel on Sky
Goldbridge tosser updates, Melissa Reddy's nightdress
Romano, you've been a naughty boy, you tapped another in
I am unzipping
They are unzipping
I am the Muppet
Goo goo Eto'o
I am Berbaclass as you are Berbaclass as you are Frenkie
And we are all Muppets
See how they panic when Sport's trolling
See how they lie
I'm crying
Sitting on RedCafe
Waiting for Orny's tweet to come
LuckyScouts report, another bloody Big Day
Ehsanul you've been a naughty boy
You only post when it goes wrong
I am unzipping
They are unzipping
I am the Muppet
Goo goo Eto'o
Mister Frenkie's agent sitting
Pretty little Mikky with her beau
See how they cry looking at the Manchester sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Third tier journo
Talking shit on a channel on Sky
Goldbridge tosser updates, Melissa Reddy's nightdress
Romano, you've been a naughty boy, you tapped another in
I am unzipping
They are unzipping
I am the Muppet
Goo goo Eto'o
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Yes, Ed would have paid his wages and allowed him to stay in Barcelona
This is the same news two months ago what the hell is going on!
Ok, so why would Barca expect this would be done sooner? It makes no bloody sense anymore!
If I believed this then I’d think that Barca want to sell to someone who is going to pay FDJ what he believes he is owed. Barca passing the buck to buying club
I rather suspect that the Chelsea interest is to some extent a last throw of the dice by Barca to get Frenkie to move now and to avoid having to pay him the settlement he is looking for. The deal for Azpi and potentially Alonso mean that they are of course talking to Chelsea and so it would be easy to sound out the interest and establish the potential parameters of a deal for Frenkie to move to Chelsea. Once they have a potential offer they can go back to FDJ and essentially call his bluff, he has supposedly indicated he would prefer a move to London and to keep playing CL football so here is the offer but you have to go now and you have to forget about the money you think we owe you. Boehly may be new to this but I sincerely doubt he is any more inclined to pay back wages on behalf of Barca than we are.
We have taken the stance up until now of we are willing to wait until the deadline and if Barca want the deal to go through they have to sort it with Frenkie which they are reluctant to do. Barca want the deal to happen now to ensure they are clear to register the new signings and can press ahead with the deal for Silva because they know City will not let Silva go on deadline day and they need to act fast.
Potentially Frenkie may say Chelsea is his dream move and decide to forego the millions to make it happen, if he does not I doubt Chelsea will have the patience to wait around, he is not their priority and they will go spend their money elsewhere as they have already spent around 125M this summer not including the likely deal for Cucurella and they still want to add a FW, RB and another CB ideally and so their budget will be long gone by September.
Barca may be playing with fire here though. If they cannot force a marriage between Frenkie and Chelsea there is a possibility their behaviour is enough for us to finally sour on the deal and they find themselves stuck with no buyers as the window winds down and a massively overpaid player that they don't really want. I know a lot of people have found this whole saga tedious but honestly it is one of the most fascinating deals in football history and the tell all book about Barca's 2022 summer when it is written is going to be solid gold.
We have taken the stance up until now of we are willing to wait until the deadline and if Barca want the deal to go through they have to sort it with Frenkie which they are reluctant to do. Barca want the deal to happen now to ensure they are clear to register the new signings and can press ahead with the deal for Silva because they know City will not let Silva go on deadline day and they need to act fast.
Potentially Frenkie may say Chelsea is his dream move and decide to forego the millions to make it happen, if he does not I doubt Chelsea will have the patience to wait around, he is not their priority and they will go spend their money elsewhere as they have already spent around 125M this summer not including the likely deal for Cucurella and they still want to add a FW, RB and another CB ideally and so their budget will be long gone by September.
Barca may be playing with fire here though. If they cannot force a marriage between Frenkie and Chelsea there is a possibility their behaviour is enough for us to finally sour on the deal and they find themselves stuck with no buyers as the window winds down and a massively overpaid player that they don't really want. I know a lot of people have found this whole saga tedious but honestly it is one of the most fascinating deals in football history and the tell all book about Barca's 2022 summer when it is written is going to be solid gold.
Maybe they think De Jong would forget about the money owed and leave if it's Chelsea.
Barcelona in general don't do anything that makes sense.
Based on who the current head coach is.
And for me i'll be happy if he arrives and if he doesn't then i'm hoping we target some like a Bennacer or Caqueret.
Not since Quasimodo wandered the streets of Paris has the phrase ‘That poor man’ been said so many times
Well we need to take some action then, like I said not long ago this isn't going until the final hours with Chelsea involved.
£25/30m on a keeper from the MLS and the Villa lad too.
If they sign De Jong and Cucurella I struggle to see how they can possibly fund another centre back, right back and a forward.
Sterling 60M
Koulibaly 40M
Chucknorris 20M
Salami 10M
La Cucuracha potentially 50M+
Dumfries or KWP potentially 35-40M
Also still want a striker and another CB if all of the above goes through. Where the feck 80M for FDJ is coming from I have no idea but I would suggest someone take a very close look at what levers Chelsea are pulling if all of the above happens.
can we at least offer to pay half and see if they bite and be done with this. I would like to keep my viewing of the McFred midfield to just once against Brighton when the season starts
Barca are such scummy cnuts for refusing to pay wages owed to their own player. Why would any player join them at all after looking at how they have treated Frenkie? It’s absolutely mystifying
Who the heck is Chuck Norris and Salami?
We need to do something that makes them sit up
Think FDJ wanting to stay at Barca is genuine. Combination of love for the club/city, but also wanting to get what he's owed in deferred payments. If Barca aren't legally obliged to pay him off, then I reckon he'll stay and sit on the 560k (or whatever it is) he's due to be paid next season. God knows what then happens to Barca's new signings without selling off huge chunks of even more future revenue.
The compromise is how much Barca pay him off to go, and how much the buying club is willing to contribute to this. Chelsea could theoretically offset that by lowering demands/offering some players from their end. But I do think Barca's preferred bidder will be the one who offers to cover as much as what is owed to FDJ as possible, either through the transfer fee or alternatives.
Chuk wheeze and the mls keeper
Dunno, ask any of the million new players they got this summer
This is really the most tedious saga ever 
For sure he would have given ETH assurances that he would come here after sorting out his back pay or whatever it is with Barca. If he now changes his mind, then that would be on him - not the club or ETH. There is no way ETH is crazy enough to go after him if there were no 'talks' indicating the move to us was on. It's just common sense.
As for us paying his back pay - I thought `I read we explored that option but couldn't do it due to legal reasons?
For sure he would have given ETH assurances that he would come here after sorting out his back pay or whatever it is with Barca. If he now changes his mind, then that would be on him - not the club or ETH. There is no way ETH is crazy enough to go after him if there were no 'talks' indicating the move to us was on. It's just common sense.
As for us paying his back pay - I thought `I read we explored that option but couldn't do it due to legal reasons?
Yeah I thought we had explored that tooThis is really the most tedious saga ever
For sure he would have given ETH assurances that he would come here after sorting out his back pay or whatever it is with Barca. If he now changes his mind, then that would be on him - not the club or ETH. There is no way ETH is crazy enough to go after him if there were no 'talks' indicating the move to us was on. It's just common sense.
As for us paying his back pay - I thought `I read we explored that option but couldn't do it due to legal reasons?
The Saga of the ****
Chuckwuemeka Villa MF
Slonina Yank GK
Worth pointing out there are add ons in these deal too so the 20M and 10M respectively are the minimum cost. Take what they have spent and assume Cucurella happens you are already at 180M and we are to believe there is still 35M or so for a RB, 70M for Fofana, 80M for De Jong and whatever they choose to spend on a striker. If the media are telling the truth about all of this Chelsea are going to be touching 400M in spending which is clearly utter bs, they made clear they had around 200M to spend this summer plus whatever they got from player sales which currently is looking like not much at all. I suspect if Cucurella is signed they may push the boat out for one more big signing and that will be a choice between another CB, a RB or a Striker. FDJ really is a luxury for them at this point and having signed Chukwuemeka and being very close to a deal for Casadei it looks as though they are planning to address the midfield with younger, cheaper options. They are also linked with Barella for the midfield for what its worth so making Frenkie their biggest signing of the summer is hard to reconcile with their budget and their needs.
So the only way this goes through is if barca back down and transfer him the money directly from their own coffers.
We are trapped in between a war of principals
We are trapped in between a war of principals
Great, 20 pages of mourning a transfer muppet. Songs, hymns and daily fecking mirror sources. Someone just take a fecking hammer and chisel to Laportas head. Someone can lock this thread, then off to sign some random 37 year old goalkeeper. That's us done.
That's why I say I think we'll see some movement from United now, mainly out of desperation and fear of losing our top target to Chelsea. If he genuinely wants to come and will come to United if his wages are sorted, I see us cracking and paying them
Maybe new players get a stake at the club store and percentage of ticket sales
Gotta feeling we can't pay them due to some legality thing but could be totally wrong
There will be ways around it. A big sign on fee etc would cover it I imagine.
Chuck norris is an actor who was popular in the 80s. Salami is cured sausage consisting of fermented and air-dried meat, typically pork.
I think if it wasn't a World Cup year, Barca would have had to back down or come to some arrangement with Frenkie. However, is he willing to stay on the bench for his 17M in a year where he needs to be playing regularly? I suspect Barca are thinking the same, hence the standoff. I dunno.So the only way this goes through is if barca back down and transfer him the money directly from their own coffers.
We are trapped in between a war of principals
Don't ever want to deal with Barcelona ever again in my life. This is the one thing I would demand from ETH if I were one of the United chiefs - no dealing with Barcelona for any player again. Don't care if it's the second coming of Pele etc, let's just never deal with them again.
Leave aside the stuff that's reported in the media for a minute - if FDJ had told United he didn't want to come I don't think we would still be in for him. It's more than probable that he has indicated he would be happy to move to United if he can sort his financial dispute out with them. I do not see any other reason for United maintaining their stance that they are confident of getting him without verbal assurances from the player or his representatives THAT doesn't mean that FDJ wouldn't renegade on his assurances should he receive what he considers a better offer BUT if that's the case surely he would inform ETH being as he is supposed to have a good relationship with him? We will find out soon enough I guess and although I appreciate that United are trying to get the man that the manager wants it is becoming beyond ridiculous that we refuse to accept or sort out the situation after almost 3 months and move on to an alternative target.
They expected him to cave?
I’ve noticed!
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