Would love to watch him in a game with commentary. You just know they’d always use his surname. Rather than Jizz shoots and he scores.
Jizz Hornkamp | puts it in again
- Thread starter horsechoker
- Start date
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
I could see Neville and Carragher getting silly with it for one game and then bring told off.
McCoist would probably have a laugh over it as well.
Neville and Carragher would be hilarious if they did one of his games. Imagine them on Monday night football analysing him
Would go well with Neville’s weird sounds he makes.
Berrada on his first Q1 results: “So we’ve had quite an outlay on Jizz, but we expect to get it all back. He’ll be on everyone’s lips and shirts. We’ll be able to subtract Jizz eventually”
Cheeky player, seen him pull a few nuttmegs here n there
According to thrustworthy BBC journalist Rocco Mandingo, Jizz has suffered a bone related stress fracture. The fracture happened in the heat of the moment while Jizz was put on top in a free floating role in the arousing encounter between Heracles and Mia Al Khalifa FC.
Jizz was literally everywhere up until his injury and Jizz ran constantly while Mia Al Khalifa went up and down Wankdorf Stadium to exploit the room and holes left by Jizz.
Eventually Jizz did run dry as the ref had to blow his whistle, but he alone had Mia Al Khalifa FC in a chokehold before his bone simply snapped. A real shame as Jizz really stretched the arabian newcomer out in what looked to be the climax of the game. Up until then Heracles had made good use of their long balls. (The penetrative dutch style that Dick Advocaat advocated and tickled our senses with in his teen years).
After the injury, Heracles were still the dominant team and used a total of 5 subs (IFAB rules) - yet there was no glory finding the holes after Jizz pulled out.
On the positive side new signing Shiyed Onyabelly got his chance and got into some dangerous positions.
Jizz was literally everywhere up until his injury and Jizz ran constantly while Mia Al Khalifa went up and down Wankdorf Stadium to exploit the room and holes left by Jizz.
Eventually Jizz did run dry as the ref had to blow his whistle, but he alone had Mia Al Khalifa FC in a chokehold before his bone simply snapped. A real shame as Jizz really stretched the arabian newcomer out in what looked to be the climax of the game. Up until then Heracles had made good use of their long balls. (The penetrative dutch style that Dick Advocaat advocated and tickled our senses with in his teen years).
After the injury, Heracles were still the dominant team and used a total of 5 subs (IFAB rules) - yet there was no glory finding the holes after Jizz pulled out.
On the positive side new signing Shiyed Onyabelly got his chance and got into some dangerous positions.
Did BangBrosAI write this?
Cocks out?
Maybe if you didnt focus so much on Jizz, you’d be able to read the source and actually absorb some stuff from the BBC?
New chant for when we sign Hornkamp
Ten Hag's at the wheel tell me how good does it feel?
We've got Bruno, Mainoo and Jizz
Marcus Rashford is out on the piss
Ohoohohooohoohohooohoo
Greatest in leagues 1 and two
We're fecking poo
1234!
Ten Hag's at the wheel tell me how good does it feel?
We've got Bruno, Mainoo and Jizz
Marcus Rashford is out on the piss
Ohoohohooohoohohooohoo
Greatest in leagues 1 and two
We're fecking poo
1234!
Brilliant to see so many Utd fans still have such a great sense of humour. Keep it up lads?????
Good stuff. But pizz, surely?
WAIT THIS GUY IS REAL?!?!?
I'm horny
horny horny horny (for jizz)
Oops sorry wrong site
horny horny horny (for jizz)
Oops sorry wrong site
It could be, I'm happy for people to modify it and add their own spin on it. It's like any great song, it's open to interpretation and remixes.
Yeah and he's coming for you!
"Dad, why is my sister named Rose?"
"Because your mother really likes roses."
"Thanks, dad."
"No problem, Jizz".
Yes, stolen off Reddit, of course.
"Because your mother really likes roses."
"Thanks, dad."
"No problem, Jizz".
Yes, stolen off Reddit, of course.
It was a dick move by his parents. What a bunch of cocks
English commentators will just pronounce his name differently the b'stards.
" HEZZ ORNKUMP scores ! "
That’s still longer than our hopes of having a decent season this year.
Endless fuel for the "posts that sound sexual" thread. Worth signing for that alone.
Faith Hill - This Jizz
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like Jizz
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual Jizz
It's that pivotal moment
It's, ah, impossible
This Jizz, this Jizz
Unstoppable
This Jizz, this Jizz
A rip off of "we hope it's chips"
We hope it's Jizz, it's Jizz
We hope it's Jizz, it's Jizz
I think it would catch on
We hope it's Jizz, it's Jizz
We hope it's Jizz, it's Jizz
I think it would catch on
She's a sexy little mama
Just like her daddy taught her
She don't seem the same
Since she working on the corner
Hope she don't fade away
Hope she find another lover
And it was Jizz, Jizz
He taught me how to live
It was Jizz, Jizz
He taught me how to give
It was Jizz, Jizz
He taught me how to live
Oh, it was Jizz, Jizz, Jizz, oh, Jizz
I'm just that hot
Very true
He runs, the Hornkamp
He runs, the Hornkamp
And he'll burst the sack!
Jizz! Jizz! Jizz!
He runs, the Hornkamp
And he'll burst the sack!
Jizz! Jizz! Jizz!
What are his energy levels like? Plenty in the tank?
He really unloaded?
Actually, it's funny cause the commenter mentions that were as a real 'dekkingsfout' in Ajax's defence. That's a normal thing to say in football (an error in covering), but 'dekken' is also a verb used in Dutch for animals having sex in breeding programs (a bull 'dekt' a cow), so my Caf mind was enjoying that bit.
Decken in German can have the same meaningActually, it's funny cause the commenter mentions that were as a real 'dekkingsfout' in Ajax's defence. That's a normal thing to say in football (an error in covering), but 'dekken' is also a verb used in Dutch for animals having sex in breeding programs (a bull 'dekt' a cow), so my Caf mind was enjoying that bit.
Ah, Germanic languages humor. This is all so much funnier than @Wing Attack Plan R's film snippets.Decken in German can have the same meaning
"Your pornstar name is the last thing you ate, your favourite musical instrument and the place you had your first sexual experience"
He’d have no problem going long.
Chocolate Guitar Moms Bungalow. Erm….
Chipsdrum Shackleton-Hall.