Best goal you've ever scored

[Nem 7]

Keeper boots it out, my back to goal

first touch takes it round the first guy, bergkamp style

second touch puts it through another guys legs, o'shea style

third touch, rvn style .. need i say more?

 

[Fergies Formula]

Your head's much too big for starters... and what are those gvuys, ninjas?

Christ

right... this coming from the guy who plays against men with no arms hmmm , maybe your the one who is stretching the truth

 

[B Cantona]

I dabble quite often in the art of scoring spectacular or fantastic goals. It's the sitters I have bigger problems with! I choose the following not as my best goal as such, but my most important for getting the respect of my fellow sunday league professionals when I was only about 17 years old. Was actually a pass from my uncle, playing in the same team, that set me free. I bore down on the keeper with the ball at my feet. He'd covered his angles pretty well, and my last touch had been a tiny bit heavier than I wanted. As he slid towards me, I ran past the keeper towards my left, but prodded it to his right. I'll never forget the look of complete bemusement on his face. I then ran round to the ball, and tucked it into the empty net

Closest similar goal: Pele 70 vs Uruguay (only I touched it past the keeper. And mine actually resulted in a goal)


My best goal probably occured last season. Playing from right back, I collected the ball in position, my own half. I noticed the opponent ahead of me seemed breathless, so I decided to spring it past him. Slightly overrunning the ball, actually helps me take it past the next man following up as he dives in. Suddenly I've broken through their midfield, and have carried the ball 30 yards. At this point I think my work is done, and play it wide to the center forward thats peeled off. But on playing the ball, I notice a gap, and think feck it, I'm going through. The striker I played it to is notoriously selfish, I'm suprised more than anything to get a return pass on the edge of the area. I take a touch, give the defender the hips, feignt to the right but take it on my left. Then I smash the absolute bejesus out of the ball, being too knackered to think and place it by this point. Smashes into the back of the net. We win 1-0, and through to the next round of the cup. The final of which I eventually miss through injury. Damn sporting justice

Closest similar goal: Giggs 99 v Arsenal (but with a one-two involved)

 

[FortBoyard]

Okay i have a few two scorchers but the best ever (mainly for occasion) was:

A U18 county cup final. We are level 2-2 about 10minutes to play, and i get one of those situations where you know u are getting tired (box to box midfielder) and you think you are coming towards your last chance to have the energy to do anything important. So basically, i tackle some guy on the edge of our box, i look up and think 'feck me theres a bit of space ill just go for it.' basically i set off and shift past one player before the halfway line, continue on shimming past another 1 or 2. Suddenly im thinking fecking hell im coming close to goal here.

Then i saw a defender hurtling toward me from the left so i did the classic fake to shoot and watched him slide past me. This left me one on one. The keepers coming out and cool as you like i dink it straight over him from just outside the box, before proceeding to run like mental in celebration before getting pulled down by all my team-mates.

You-Tube similarities:

The run was a bit of:


but more controlled.

The finish was like this:



the celebration:

 

[Plechazunga]

right... this coming from the guy who plays against men with no arms hmmm , maybe your the one who is stretching the truth

So some of my friends were physically handicapped. Well feck you. The may not have arms... or faces... but they know all about things like loyalty and friendship... stuff you and your cool blue insect/ninja associates know nothing of.

 

[Giggsy PO]

Game: In Indian camp, overtime played to sudden death.

Description: I was fast as feck, we got into counter, I went easily round the last defender and with ease slotted the ball to the net.

Who did copy me?

Michael Owen in 98 WC

 

[TheSwede]

Game: Local Reserve League game when i was 13-14

Description: I won the ball just outside our area and dribbled past 5 or 6 players Giggsy style,before placing it in the keepers right corner.

 

[MrMarcello]

Tap in from 2 yards out.

Off my penis.

 

[Godfather]

I've always been playing left back, and therefore didnt score too many goals, but when I did, they were important ones.

The most beautiful one however wasn't important at all.

10 minutes played. 0-0. Our left winger went past two players before recognizing that our strikers were still nowhere near the box. So he played it back to me.

I've always loved those balls, coming towards and low to me. So I feckin smashed the ball from about 25 metres (dont know what's that in feet) and that ball went straight into the right top corner:

we won the game 5-0 in the end, but mine was the first one:

 

[VP]

School Playground game. I receive the ball on the half way line, face the goal and see at least 20 people in front of me. So I think, "Feck it, there's no way I'm going to do anything against them", so I decide to change teams, turn around and I see the keeper off his line and just chip him exactly like Beckham against Wimbledon.

I scored some crackers last summer as well at 5 a side, in the right end this time. I probably reached my footballing peak when we were playing a tournament, first to 10 goals and I managed to score 7. One of them I received the ball back to defender, flicked it up and managed to lob the keeper. Also scored one like Rooney's second against Newcastle away.

 

[noodlehair]

When you're playing against a team of cretins, and they start getting annoyed, or bored, you can easily run through four or five of them, and look great, while they either give up, or make feeble attempts to try and hack you down with slide tackles.

I used to like doing that. I'd nearly always spaz up the finish though

 

[golden_blunder]

Game: Local Reserve League game when i was 13-14

Description: I won the ball just outside our area and dribbled past 5 or 6 players Giggsy style,before placing it in the keepers right corner.

excellent art work

 

[Cal?]

I once scored a freekick from our half at school, but it was mainly due to spastic goalkeeping.

In terms of importance, I scored the winning penalty in the house cup final at boarding school.

 

[BazzaBear]

There are two possibilities. One was probably largely fluke though, if I'm honest.

Proper one:
Just under 30 yards out just to the left of goal, ball cleared badly, comes straight to me. Hit it perfectly (believe me, that doesn't happen too often) with the outside of my right foot on the half-volley. Ball skims the floor all the way, curling slightly to the left. Hits the inside of the left hand post (from my point of view) and in.
I know the distance perfectly, because we were on astroturf playing across a hockey pitch (60 yards wide), and I was just in their own half. More impressive because the goal was actually a hockey goal. It went at such pace, the keeper didn't stand a chance.

I'm very embarrassed to do this, but the only goal I can think of to compare it to is Roberto Carlos in Le Tournoi.

Oh, and not only does no-one else remember it, but in order to get the power I had both feet off the floor (kind of a low-level scissor kick) and therefore fell over. This led the opposite team to say it was 'lucky'. I apparently mishit it because I was falling over. Bastards.


Number 2 (and the one which probably was flukey)
Running into the area, cross from the right, but behind me. The only thing I could do was to flick a leg out behind me and backheel it. Somehow this worked perfectly, lobbing the ball over my own head, and the keepers despairing dive.
I can't think of a similar goal that I've seen scored to this one.

 

[Fergies Formula]

So some of my friends were physically handicapped. Well feck you. The may not have arms... or faces... but they know all about things like loyalty and friendship... stuff you and your cool blue insect/ninja associates know nothing of.

they were ninjas

 

[Anna_Livia]

Location: Regent's Park, Saturday kickabout with university spoddos.

Description: I was standing on the edge of the box with my back to goal and a defender almost literally up my arse (I've not posted for a while, so can I point out again that I'm male, at this point, before the pms from rugged centre backs start arriving). The ball was passed in to me at about shin height, and I flicked it one way round the centre back while spinning the other way. The keeper advanced in a Schmeichel-esque "make yourself big" kinda way, and I nipped the ball over his head, dodged round the outside of him and finished with all the insouciance of a hired killer.

I've represented it here, although the picture has been censored to protect the kiddies. I should explain that, in order to protect people's identities, the goalkeeper is being played by a naked male-to-female transexual (post-op) while I am being played by Ted Danson, even though he looks nothing like me.

Kinda like Di Canio's goal 1.43 into this shit quality video, but with a cute wee turn before it, which I think Bergkamp once nicked off me for the Arsenal. I tried to sue him but the cnut sent round the heavies to warn me off.

 

[Rahul]

easy, was back in Year 7 though, keeper booted it out half way across the pitch, it fell to me and i just took one swipe at it and volleyed it one time straight into the bottom corner.

Was quite a moment.

 

[Virtuoso]

Corner to the opposition, cleared by one of our defenders...I latch onto it mid-way in our half. about 3/4 players ahead of me and a couple of my team mates running up behind. I sprinted with the ball down the centre, went to the right of one player, dragged the ball with my right onto my left to beat the next and then approached about 30 yards from goal down the left hand side with 2 defenders ahead and skipped past the first onto my right and just knocked the ball out of my feet and struck it across the keeper from 20 yards out and to the left of the defender into the bottom corner...safe to say I was knackered afterwards and offered nothing to the side.

 

[The Flying Potato]

I was playing for my local team, we were drawing 1-1 with 5 mins to go. Our keeper booted the ball as far as he could and it was coming in my direction but was very high up in the air so I turned I began to run towards the corner flag which is where it was going and without thinking I did a cantona style kung-fu kick to an invisable person with bothe legs stretched out and then the ball flukeily hit my shin/foot and zoomed past everyone into the net. I still to this day cannot believe I did that.

 

[BazzaBear]

All of these are clearly made up, apart from mine.

 

[Nucks]

Header for me off of a corner.

The keeper on the other team was a kid I didn't particularly like and vice versa. We had a bit of history I guess from my high school basketball team trouncing them whenever we played.

Well the chirping started and I basically did a babe ruth. I pointed to the corner of the goal and told him something like "I'm gonna score a fecking goal right there, bitch!".

Ball comes in and boom it went right where I said it would. It was beautiful.

 

[Nucks]

Oh, I have another.

I was trying to anticipate a back pass to the keeper, I always did that, and got a good jump on the pass. I was a pretty big kid for being 14 or 15, 6'2-6'3 and around 180 pounds. So I was charging the keeper down full bore no let up and he panicked and hammered the ball straight at me. I was at best 6-8 feet away from him the ball slammed off my face and ricocheted off my face into the goal.

My face hurt something awful. I felt like about 30 hornets had just stung the ever loving shit out of me. However my American football coaches were at the game watching and I didn't want to show any weakness. So I bravely trotted back with non-crying-tears of pain coming out of the corners of my eyes.

God I was a pimp.

 

[Plechazunga]

@ Anna's one

 

[Donaldo]

That's definitely up there with Ivor Ballokov's for the most artistically interesting... even if the story is an utter lie

cnut.

 

[Plechazunga]

sorry, and Donado's

 

[Youngie]

About four years ago, Sunday league, Old Crown v's The Southgate. For one brief beautiful moment in time I was Bestie. Picked up the ball just inside their half, did a quick one-two with 'Spacker' Normington beat the burly centre half, (hurdling his crude attempt to break both my legs), took it wide where I beat another man, cut inside feinted to go left before spinning round the last defender and curling one with the instep into the top right hand corner. Goal!!
Got back to the pub and drank myself stupid before anally humiliating the current Miss World*..What a Day!

**

*Actually that bits a lie!
** I know the more crude the drawing the funnier it seems but I can't help myself in these situations..

 

[I_live_cement]

Forgot to add a video to mine, there is only one that comes close:

 

[Wes]

Scored one about a year ago in a 7v7 game that was a bit special.

Was playing it out of defence, and found myself on the right, got away from one, and clipped it with the outside of my boot to the Forward, and run like feck towards the goals. He plays it back into my path that leaves me with two defenders and the keeper. Manage to dribble the first and inject some pace, realise the other defending boyo was comin straight for me - megged the cnut, and stuck my foot on it, with everyone beaten. I then just toepoke it home after giving the keeper the eye and sending him the wrong way. The finish was like this -


It was Ace.

 

[olesmyhero]

Ball played over the defense. I ran onto it. Hit a full volley to the upper 90 from about 15 yards away. I play defense so I really don't score that often.

 

[Wes]

.....insouciance of a hired killer.

I've represented it here, although the picture has been censored to protect the kiddies. I should explain that, in order to protect people's identities, the goalkeeper is being played by a naked male-to-female transexual (post-op) while I am being played by Ted Danson, even though he looks nothing like me.

 

[Christofaux]

oh i forgot one where we were down 4-3 to our local rivals. I was playing left back but no one was running and we had a free kick so i charged up through the middle. Our midfielder put a long ball through and it bounced once and the keeper and i were goin for it. I was closer and jumped an got a head to it just as the keeper got a punch to my face. The ball went over the the keeper and scored and i hade some of the keepers glove imprinted in my head. Was the last play of the day to draw 4-4. Everyone thinks i didnt get a touch on it and the keeper just punched me. But i swear i touched the ball and will claim it :P .

 

[eric le roi]

5-a-side, took it around 3 players with my uber body swerve then nudged in to the bottom left just as I lost balance. And that was my best goal which says it all really. The only thing I swerve now is work and exercise.

Who was it like? Probably Blomqvist. Can't find any videos.

 

[SiYuan]

Something like this

 

[Longlivekeano]

Secondary School competition.

I once scored direct from a corner into the top corner. Total fluke though. The goalpost had no nets and so the ball went far back. None of the opponents thought that it was possible and beagn preparing for a goal kick. To their amusement (of both the opponents and some of my team mates), the alert referee blew the whistle for a goal and I was later proclaimde a genius. Never told them that I was aiming for our centre forward's large head though.

Anoter goal. Inter College Futsal Tournament Quarter finals. I played midfield and could not score during the preliminary stage. I broke the duck with a goal of stunning quality. The ball was cleared into the air; I was outside the penalty box, volleyed the ball into the ground, the ball then zipped towards the top right hand corner and spun into the goal post which gave my school a last minute victory. To top it up, a cute girl thought it was the best thing shed ever seen and asked for my phone number. Oh and my school went on to win first and I was voted player of the tournament by my mates going on to score 4 other goals in the sme-finals and finals.

 

[SharkyMcShark]

Training match 3 years back. I was playing keeper. The entire opposition just pressed forwards, they got a corner. The entire enemy team bar keeper was in the 18 yard box. I claimed the ball and quickly kicked it out about 35 yards, and sprinted after it, ran the length of the pitch, took it past their keeper who'd come out about 20 yards, and scored.

It should be noted that seeing as this was the dying minutes of a training match no one cared enough to properly chase me, and their keeper sort of flopped at me. I still loved it though.

I ran to celebrate with my team, who shouted at me to go and get the ball instead so we could get on with the game.

 

[Solius]

Bear in mind the pitch is not as big as I make it out to be, and I have no idea why one of them has a mushroom for an arm.

I forgot I made this

Bump, we've had a load of newbies up recently, thought this might be interesting again.

 

[MG]

I have never scored a decent goal as I am utterly shit at football. Like, really, really awful.

Nice artwork there Solius.

 

[B Cantona]

The saddest thing is that I haven't played since I made my contribution to this thread

 

[pillory]

Game: college football practice match.

Description: I was ten or ffteen yards outside the area. The ball came from behind and to the left of me, and as it came past I flicked it with my left foot over my man, then lobbed it over the next man with my thigh, then smacked it right-footed on the half-volley through the keeper's legs.

Only my movement was more elegant, the tackles were less spastic, and the players had more arms.

I'm pretty sure you've just mistaken yourself for Matt le Tiss and slightly misremebered this goal:



My only decent goal was in a (youth) league game when I was about 15 or 16, I received the ball just inside the area, probably closer to the left edge than the centre, controlled it on my thigh, and lobbed into the opposite corner of the goal before it had touched the ground. My celebration was of the confused O'Shea kind. In fact the whole thing was very similar to O'Shea's goal against Arsenal, except the thigh/volley bit. Also mine wasn't a counter attack, the area was crowded and the keeper was on his line.

 

[Chapster]

Debut match for my club and hit a 'cross/shot' from the right wing and chipped the keeper at the far post. Like Ronaldinho's vs england, except mine was better because it wasn't a deadball and the keeper didn't have a bad back!

sorry for the poor quality!