I think Jake's is next, I'll give him till 8pm to ask it!
Complete Mental Obliteration V2
- Thread starter Hectic
- Start date
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
The waiting for the day to end and travelling at night idea is just wasting precious time and even more precious water. As Hectic alludes to, it's mentioned that there is enough water, the key thing was to sort out the general direction and head that way immediately, looking elsewhere for water was also just wasting time/water. The idea of writing the map out roughly in blood was a good idea put forward by Burrow, but the key idea if you were in that situation is simple.
See how much water you had = thinking of the temperature of the desert = rough idea how far away the civilisation was.
Assuming the question was about surviving the desert was wrong, it was about escaping it.
See how much water you had = thinking of the temperature of the desert = rough idea how far away the civilisation was.
Assuming the question was about surviving the desert was wrong, it was about escaping it.
Can I ask now?
Ask ahead!
C'mon we can't let this thread be neglected, it's gone downhill since the first question. Jakey, my man, you need to drop the question asap. Or perhaps we can get rimaldo to ask his and Jake can ask his next.
If rimaldo has a question ready he can go ahead, im still thinking up mine.
you wasted so much of our time
so rimaldo it is
so rimaldo it is
who would have guessed that one of the questioners would be the first to get mentally obliterated.
Ive been busy lately mate, i have one question involving waking up being the president and how youd fix the economy but not sure if that would be enjoyed
The reason I didn't ask is because when it was the other questions it said -question required on the op it didnt this time so i didnt think it was ready.
its ok i was just joking
good to be spared for a day
Instead you just get obliterated in the match day thread. along with me tbh
Yup but now i'm used to it so I dont pay that much attention you will also get used to it.
But occasionally i do try to help only to go in vain
By me standing up for our players saying that we weren't that bad, i get called a troll, fucck off ray.
Today in the matchday thread he was just out of his mind
I Love the way you say 'night' every night and then continue to post
what's that banging? you are stirred from your slumber by the sound of someone pummelling incessantly at a door. you can hear their muffled cries but you can't quite make out what they're shouting. your head is throbbing, you can’t quite remember how you arrived at this moment in time or what the previous 24 hours held for you. you take a moment to get your bearings. you are in unfamiliar territory, it looks like a hotel room. nothing too fancy but nothing too grotty either. you can’t be too sure, everything is hazy, your eyes haven’t adjusted yet.
you go to wipe the sleep from your eyes and what's that? your hand feels damp against your face. uh oh, jizz again? no, not this time, you peel your hand back and notice it's caked in blood. you look down at yourself and you're stained from head to toe in the life's blood of someone, something. it can't be your own for you are still alive, there’s too much of it for you to be alive. you glance to your left and recoil in horror, there lies the bloody body of a woman, at least you think it's a woman, she has been stabbed so many times it's hard to tell.
you are dumbstruck, you can’t remember what happened but you know you didn’t do this. you fade out, everything goes silent, you are in shock. the pounding at your door continues the whole time and slowly you start to tune back into your surroundings. “well i say this is just the biggest outrage, open this door now catherine, open this door at once or so help me god you’ll feel the back of my hand, hooray henry, pip pip, rar! rar! rar!” you stand up to approach the door, your penis leaves a wet patch as it brushes the side of your leg. there’s cum on the tip of your penis, it might be in her too. you peek out of the peephole in your door and there stands prince william. you are taken aback. prince william? catherine? you glance back at the body. oh god, there’s no way anyone will believe you didn’t do this.
“i know you’re in there! right! that’s it! i knew i shouldn’t have married a commoner, i am calling the po-po, them 5-0 be here within 5 minutes, middleton, how very dare you defy me.”
at present he doesn’t know you’re in there. you have 5 minutes to work out your move before the police arrive and break down the door. how are you to use these valuable minutes? what is your subsequent plan to evade capture, prison and daily butt rogerings? you have about your person what you’d normally have, clothes, phone, wallet, key, and whatever you’d normally find in a standard hotel room to aid your cause.
you go to wipe the sleep from your eyes and what's that? your hand feels damp against your face. uh oh, jizz again? no, not this time, you peel your hand back and notice it's caked in blood. you look down at yourself and you're stained from head to toe in the life's blood of someone, something. it can't be your own for you are still alive, there’s too much of it for you to be alive. you glance to your left and recoil in horror, there lies the bloody body of a woman, at least you think it's a woman, she has been stabbed so many times it's hard to tell.
you are dumbstruck, you can’t remember what happened but you know you didn’t do this. you fade out, everything goes silent, you are in shock. the pounding at your door continues the whole time and slowly you start to tune back into your surroundings. “well i say this is just the biggest outrage, open this door now catherine, open this door at once or so help me god you’ll feel the back of my hand, hooray henry, pip pip, rar! rar! rar!” you stand up to approach the door, your penis leaves a wet patch as it brushes the side of your leg. there’s cum on the tip of your penis, it might be in her too. you peek out of the peephole in your door and there stands prince william. you are taken aback. prince william? catherine? you glance back at the body. oh god, there’s no way anyone will believe you didn’t do this.
“i know you’re in there! right! that’s it! i knew i shouldn’t have married a commoner, i am calling the po-po, them 5-0 be here within 5 minutes, middleton, how very dare you defy me.”
at present he doesn’t know you’re in there. you have 5 minutes to work out your move before the police arrive and break down the door. how are you to use these valuable minutes? what is your subsequent plan to evade capture, prison and daily butt rogerings? you have about your person what you’d normally have, clothes, phone, wallet, key, and whatever you’d normally find in a standard hotel room to aid your cause.
Wonderful question Rimaldo and one that is obviously so prevalent in our everyday lives that it needs to be answered! Laim to go first isn't it? I bet he'll go down the police station to confess, or just shoot himself.
He'l find a way to kill himself anyway
A few things. Firstly, you haven't specified how high up I am. I'll presume I'm on the lowest floor. First thing I'd do (after cleaning myself up of course), is take the window*. Wouldn't that be suspicious? A man jumping from a window then running? Well, Kate Middleton has gone missing, sort of, Charles is going to be there pretty early, he'll know she's been missing for a while. Plus some hotels are in very remote locations, so me being seen wouldn't actually be an issue.
Also, I'm very tired, possibly suggesting I haven't had much sleep? Because it's still very early? Few people wondering the streets?
As soon as I'm out, I'm essentially free, but only temporarily. If I'm roaming the streets like anyone else, I'm to be no more suspected than anyone else. I'd get a train (or even plane, yes, a plane, again.) away from where I am. I would have to get as far away from this hotel as possible.
An alternative plan, would be to perhaps get back onto the bed, how I was, and wait for the police to get there. You say I KNOW I didn't do it, therefore I have nothing to hide? Of course I don't know where I was or what's happened, but I'm innocent until proven guilty, and as I KNOW I'm innocent, I could just lay in the bed and wait for the police and pretend to be completely unaware of everything.
That plan is based on me being 100% certain of my innocence, which I'm sure you'll take away from me shortly. And the first plan in based around me being very presumptuous, but hey, it's late, and it's all I have for now.
*You said break down the door, but hotels have windows.
EDIT: When I said Charles, I meant William.
This can't be laim's plan, he hasn't died of hypothermia yet.
Call me Liam.
And no, but I honestly thought of going to sea again
And no, but I honestly thought of going to sea again
Because being 100% certain of your own innocence will keep you out of jail.......or out of the electric chair.....or just being taken to a remote location by the police and punished for the crime.
Yup stay there and in your smug sense of innocence you will have gotten yourself killed
Yup stay there and in your smug sense of innocence you will have gotten yourself killed
Definitely? I'd have been killed. By who. Our penal system doesn't work that way. I'd either be correctly locked up, or released as they wouldn't have substantial evidence to sentence me to the life sentence I'd get.
You're in a locked hotel room, beside a bloodied and obviously dead body, you're covered in blood and you have jizz on your cock, and possibly inside the once future (now dead) Queen of England. I reckon they might have enough evidence to convict you!
First you might want to read again, the part where the police just take you someplace and kill you.....not even involving the courts.
Yes you were found covered in blood the blood of princess kate.......you are dead.......probably without a trial......just taken to some freindly country with lax torture laws.......made to suffer a great deal.....then killed with your body dumped in the middle of a desert or perhaps an ocean.
It's not like he has to be actually guilty......just that amount of evidence and everyone will be happy assuming he is guilty.
Now the best part is several months after being put to death (one way or the other they will make sure he dies), he will become the subject of dozens of conspiracy websites each claiming he was innocent afterall, and pointing the finger at various other suspects.
Too late to do him any good, but there you have it.
The only correct answer is: feck the police, do her a second time while she still feels a bit warm , you don't remember a thing about the first time ffs.
You let me down there Liam.
You let me down there Liam.
Fcuk school thug life
If you're into necrophilia, that's your thing Vato, but not mine.
Stop being so picky.
To be honest there's no way even MacGyver could come out good out of that Rimaldo scenario.
To be honest there's no way even MacGyver could come out good out of that Rimaldo scenario.
there are plenty of clues in the question that mean you can assume certain things, take gambles and successfully get away.
That's a fecking question and a half.
great question
Is William alone outside that door? Find the knife that killed Kate, invite him in and buy yourself a few more minutes to figure out your next step.
Holy shit, what a question and what an answer!
Here we go.
First off, it's a great question, and I would like to congratulate you on exceeding all expectations, and providing the worst answer possible. You in essence, have two plans, one is the escape out the window method, the other is to go back to sleep and wait. Both are equally retarded. I'm going to try to address your awful awful points as best as possible without revealing answers to this problem for TB's benefit.
A few things. Firstly, you haven't specified how high up I am. I'll presume I'm on the lowest floor. First thing I'd do (after cleaning myself up of course), is take the window*. Wouldn't that be suspicious? A man jumping from a window then running? Well, Kate Middleton has gone missing, sort of, Charles is going to be there pretty early, he'll know she's been missing for a while. Plus some hotels are in very remote locations, so me being seen wouldn't actually be an issue.
Also, I'm very tired, possibly suggesting I haven't had much sleep? Because it's still very early? Few people wondering the streets?
As soon as I'm out, I'm essentially free, but only temporarily. If I'm roaming the streets like anyone else, I'm to be no more suspected than anyone else. I'd get a train (or even plane, yes, a plane, again.) away from where I am. I would have to get as far away from this hotel as possible.
An alternative plan, would be to perhaps get back onto the bed, how I was, and wait for the police to get there. You say I KNOW I didn't do it, therefore I have nothing to hide? Of course I don't know where I was or what's happened, but I'm innocent until proven guilty, and as I KNOW I'm innocent, I could just lay in the bed and wait for the police and pretend to be completely unaware of everything.
That plan is based on me being 100% certain of my innocence, which I'm sure you'll take away from me shortly. And the first plan in based around me being very presumptuous, but hey, it's late, and it's all I have for now.
*You said break down the door, but hotels have windows.
Plan A) - Going on Holiday
That's right, the question has not specified how high you are. So, the best thing to presume is that you are high up and work your way out from there, and if it turns out you are on the ground floor, your plan isn't wasted. You on the other hand, have assumed the opposite, so if it turns out you are on the 20th floor, and you jump out of the window, you have died.
So your Plan A has already failed if it turns out you aren't on the ground floor, but let's just give you the benefit and assume you were. So, your plan is to jump out of the window, and roam the streets without any suspicion, where you would then get a train, or a plane, to as far as possible.
Liam. What is your obsession with just trying to get on a plane and escape whatever problem you face? Are you a billionaire who does this sort of thing regularly? "I won't go to campus today, I'll just fly to Nigeria instead, chortle, chortle". You have conveniently managed to forget and completely ignore this following bit:
You are stained from head to toe in blood, and you think you can walk the streets, get a train to an airport and feck off somewhere? You don't even have a passport for gods sake, have you ever flown anywhere, or been in public covered in blood? I assure you these aren't normal sights to your average civilian. You've also just left the room of the dead Kate Middleton. You seem to think that this won't spark some kind of mental Jack Bauer styled manhunt for the rapist/killer, which is obviously going to be assumed to be you. Everywhere you go, covered in blood, will be recorded on some form of CCTV, and you will probably be shot on sight, before you calmly board a plane to Barbados.rimaldo said:
Plan A is at it's basic, is about running away from the problem. This solves absolutely nothing, and you have no long term plan to prove your innocence, hell, no even short term plan to prove your innocence as every action you plan to take, is that of a guilty person, i.e, escaping. You do not have the ability to outrun the meteoric shit storm that will envelope your life, and given you haven't once mentioned how to avoid capture, you'd probably be arrested within an hour of your leaving the window. You are the worst fugitive ever.
Plan B - My head is in the sand, can they see me?
This is the worst answer to any question that has ever existed. This is worse than some criminal acts. This answer made me re-think and appreciate the benefits of the condom.
So, after realizing you are covered head to toe in blood of the dead women next you, who happens to be royalty now, you think one possible plan is to get back into bed, and claim ignorance? You saying 'I KNOW' I didn't do it means absolutely feck all. Here, the burden is on you to produce and prove your innocence, very clearly. No-one on earth is going to sympathize with you considering you can't explain anything. Have you fully understand the circumstance? Well, no, obviously. So here we go, you wait there, the police burst in and find the dead body of Kate Middleton, with you covered in her blood, lying on the bed. You have no recollection of what has happened, you have no explanation for your being there, or previous whereabouts, what possible excuse can you give, to counter the fact you are there at the crime scene, covered in her blood, and also with this little bit:
You've possibly raped her as well. This is not something you can say "Oh, I don't actually remember what happened" and expect them to thank you for your co-operation and then let you leave. If you stay in that hotel with your plan, you are going down for this, considering you've done nothing since waking up, except going back to the bed. You've actually thought, if I put my head in the sand, no-one will see me. That's the basis of Plan B, discounting all the pieces of evidence that would be far more concrete than you clearly have thought. That is beyond retarded. If retarded was a very fast car, you are now a rocket, traveling a thousand times faster.
You would never be released. Ever. There is enough substantial evidence to probably bring back the death penalty and have you chemically castrated to death.
Castrated to death haha