That second part was brilliant 
Complete Mental Obliteration V2
- Thread starter Hectic
- Start date
So in essence... Liam had a bad plan?
I want to know how TheBest will solve this conundrum
I want to know how TheBest will solve this conundrum
First off, it's a great question, and I would like to congratulate you on exceeding all expectations, and providing the worst answer possible. You in essence, have two plans, one is the escape out the window method, the other is to go back to sleep and wait. Both are equally retarded. I'm going to try to address your awful awful points as best as possible without revealing answers to this problem for TB's benefit.
Plan A) - Going on Holiday
That's right, the question has not specified how high you are. So, the best thing to presume is that you are high up and work your way out from there, and if it turns out you are on the ground floor, your plan isn't wasted. You on the other hand, have assumed the opposite, so if it turns out you are on the 20th floor, and you jump out of the window, you have died.
So your Plan A has already failed if it turns out you aren't on the ground floor, but let's just give you the benefit and assume you were. So, your plan is to jump out of the window, and roam the streets without any suspicion, where you would then get a train, or a plane, to as far as possible.
Liam. What is your obsession with just trying to get on a plane and escape whatever problem you face? Are you a billionaire who does this sort of thing regularly? "I won't go to campus today, I'll just fly to Nigeria instead, chortle, chortle". You have conveniently managed to forget and completely ignore this following bit:
You are stained from head to toe in blood, and you think you can walk the streets, get a train to an airport and feck off somewhere? You don't even have a passport for gods sake, have you ever flown anywhere, or been in public covered in blood? I assure you these aren't normal sights to your average civilian. You've also just left the room of the dead Kate Middleton. You seem to think that this won't spark some kind of mental Jack Bauer styled manhunt for the rapist/killer, which is obviously going to be assumed to be you. Everywhere you go, covered in blood, will be recorded on some form of CCTV, and you will probably be shot on sight, before you calmly board a plane to Barbados.
I did say I'd clean myself up though. You wasted your time there.
Plan A is at it's basic, is about running away from the problem. This solves absolutely nothing, and you have no long term plan to prove your innocence, hell, no even short term plan to prove your innocence as every action you plan to take, is that of a guilty person, i.e, escaping. You do not have the ability to outrun the meteoric shit storm that will envelope your life, and given you haven't once mentioned how to avoid capture, you'd probably be arrested within an hour of your leaving the window. You are the worst fugitive ever.
Plan B - My head is in the sand, can they see me?
This is the worst answer to any question that has ever existed. This is worse than some criminal acts. This answer made me re-think and appreciate the benefits of the condom.
So, after realizing you are covered head to toe in blood of the dead women next you, who happens to be royalty now, you think one possible plan is to get back into bed, and claim ignorance? You saying 'I KNOW' I didn't do it means absolutely feck all. Here, the burden is on you to produce and prove your innocence, very clearly. No-one on earth is going to sympathize with you considering you can't explain anything. Have you fully understand the circumstance? Well, no, obviously. So here we go, you wait there, the police burst in and find the dead body of Kate Middleton, with you covered in her blood, lying on the bed. You have no recollection of what has happened, you have no explanation for your being there, or previous whereabouts, what possible excuse can you give, to counter the fact you are there at the crime scene, covered in her blood, and also with this little bit:
You've possibly raped her as well. This is not something you can say "Oh, I don't actually remember what happened" and expect them to thank you for your co-operation and then let you leave. If you stay in that hotel with your plan, you are going down for this, considering you've done nothing since waking up, except going back to the bed. You've actually thought, if I put my head in the sand, no-one will see me. That's the basis of Plan B, discounting all the pieces of evidence that would be far more concrete than you clearly have thought. That is beyond retarded. If retarded was a very fast car, you are now a rocket, traveling a thousand times faster.
Basically, my two options, are to stay in the room, or leave the room. I did both, and they're both wrong, surprise,
surprise.
Liam, you can leave the room, but simply walking out with blood all over you and falling to your death isn't the best plan....
I'm on the bottom floor, and I've already, for the third time, cleaned myself. If I was on the top floor, obviously I wouldn't jump out of the window.
You can not do both......silly boy...total logic fail....no wonder you keep finding ways to kill yourself.[/SPOILER]
Basically, my two options, are to stay in the room, or leave the room. I did both, and they're both wrong, surprise,
surprise.
I don't think I've ever read anything funnier than that in my life. Imagine for a moment that was a scene in the courtroom, Hectic's systematic destruction of that 'plan' would even have Prince William in stitches of laughter.
It's worth mentioning, that's the same Prince William attending the court due to the brutal murder and potential sexual abuse of his wife.
It's worth mentioning, that's the same Prince William attending the court due to the brutal murder and potential sexual abuse of his wife.
How are you going to wash yourself, have a shower? What are you going to do with your clothes? You leave so many questions unanswered....
ssshhh no clues 
Yes, your two options are to stay or to leave, clearly, but there's a million things you can do in either of those situations to change the outcome of your situation. For instance, one small example would be to 'clean the blood from me', or look for other clothes in the hotel room. Common sense Liam. You see, people might not suspect a man dressed and looking normally, compared to someone caked head to toe in blood.[/SPOILER]
Basically, my two options, are to stay in the room, or leave the room. I did both, and they're both wrong, surprise,
surprise.
But it was so shitt... if TB said 'I'll hide under the bed' I'm convinced it would make for a better planssshhh no clues
Or a man in another room, not in bed, covered in blood, next to a dead woman, also covered in blood. That might look dodgy.
Laim's best hope apparently is hoping Police Chief Wiggum turns up.
Laim's best hope apparently is hoping Police Chief Wiggum turns up.
You haven't once even mentioned something like, 'look around the room for anything', or even imagined what sort of things in a hotel room you could use to help you.
I tell you why it's so funny Liam. Your response reads like you have literally just woken up and found yourself in this situation, and acted out a load of retarded ideas out of shock and confusion. At least your plan would make some sort of sense in that context, rather than the real context, which is you had a lot of time to think it through and evaluate the options and consequences to your actions, each of which would be supremely important considering the nature of your situation.
I tell you why it's so funny Liam. Your response reads like you have literally just woken up and found yourself in this situation, and acted out a load of retarded ideas out of shock and confusion. At least your plan would make some sort of sense in that context, rather than the real context, which is you had a lot of time to think it through and evaluate the options and consequences to your actions, each of which would be supremely important considering the nature of your situation.
- I didn't do it.
- Why should we believe you?
- I KNOW I didn't do it.
- How?
- I don't know....I just KNOW IT!
- How can you prove this?
- What?! I don't need to. I KNOW I didn't do anything. I'm going home now.
- Why should we believe you?
- I KNOW I didn't do it.
- How?
- I don't know....I just KNOW IT!
- How can you prove this?
- What?! I don't need to. I KNOW I didn't do anything. I'm going home now.
You may as well jump out of the window Laim, it would save the Police alot of confusion should they get a chance to question you.
Ah fair do's Liam I didn't say the part where you cleaned yourself. But even that is amazingly rushed. You have the blood of her, all over you, head to toe, yet you aren't naked. So, you went into the bathroom and washed the blood off? In 5 minutes you managed to completely remove all traces of the entire supply of someones blood from you, and clothes? Let's pretend that just isn't the most ridiculous notion mentioned yet, but then what? You jump out of the hotel drenched, covered in faint blood and start running to take your train to the plane to go to Spain?
I hope no-one ever tries to frame you Liam. You will be determined guilty inside the first three minutes of the interview.
All these details you miss out, I'm not sure if you think they are small and irrelevant, but there is no long term or short term plan to solving this in your ways defined so far. You can't blame that on the question, or the lack of options, but your complete lack of sense!
I still think that my plan about killing everyone who tries to enter the room is the best option right now. Get Prince William in the room, stab him, wipe your fingerprints off the knife and place it in William's hand. Frame it all on the husband!
I knew rimaldo wouldn't let us down with the question.
At the minute, you may be innocent, what you're suggesting is at the worst a double or triple homicide.
It's not your best idea Burrow.
He's still probably facing lifetime in prison, why not make a real effort?(Not my real answer)why not abduct prince william
and ask 100 million dollar for him.
Then you have money to follow laims plan and travel all over the world in your private jet
This is getting progressively worse, kidnapping Prince William won't result in jail term, it'll result in the SAS putting a hollow point through your dome. Though that dome may be empty for some people, it's still certain death.
What's so great about this thread? Never had the time to read it.
Read it. I reckon reading it is the best thing about this thread.
Weekend at Bernie's anyone? 
Whose idea was it to unleash the mind of Rimaldo upon these poor, poor folks.
I was just joking
I still think my plan would buy Laim / TB more time to figure out what to do with the 2 bodies. Kill them both, order some room-service, kill the bellboy and smuggle them all out in the room-service cart dressed as the bell-boy.I'll find some time soon.
So is this the second serial killer this thread has produced?
Killing myself over and over doesn't include me in that does it?
i just picked fantasy no. 768 from the spank bank tbh.
No, you are a suicide specialist mastermind.
I'd eat everything in the mini bar. Probably the only time you will literally pay an arm and a leg.
Where is TheBest? i want to see how he would tackle such a lucky circumstance.