Complete Mental Obliteration V2

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
Zombie invasion Liam. A zombie fecking apocalypse. The news is down. The government is down. The media are down. The airports....are down. The pilots...are fecking zombies.


It's not answerable. It's happening in your country, you have no way of knowing whats happening outside of it. Your concern isn't to feck off to France, but to survive.
Apocalypse:
1. The complete final destruction of the world, esp. as described in the biblical book of Revelation.
2. An event involving destruction or damage on an awesome or catastrophic scale.

Right, let's say I'm not going to France, I'm staying put. It's an apocalypse as you put it. I ain't surviving that. Someone once proposed burying people on top of each other, as there wasn't enough room (in London anyway), so think of the amount of zombies we're dealing with.

And if everything else has gone down, even if we survive, it's prolonging the inevitable. We'd all die in time, as there is absolutely no means of communication.
 

Lastwolf

Full Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
6,729
Location
Brick Sofa
shotguns would be the ideal choice of weapon, but in the countryside,they aren't readily available
In the UK ? probably the best place to find a shotgun is in the country, farmers, upper/middle class hunting tards, crazy people.
 

Burrow

FM Experiment God
Scout
Joined
Jan 13, 2010
Messages
16,649
Location
Beautiful Norway
I dont think Liam will be any fun in this game if his answer to the zombie invasion is "I will probably die"
 

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
So there is a zombie outbreak, and you don't think one single person infected might not try an airport, or try to leave? And then what happens, it's an outbreak in an airport. But you've already forgotten the key bit. You've been asleep, you've awoken to this event that has happened. Not happening Liam. Happened. That's why the news is stuck on a loop, not live. It was all there in the question, but you were already thinking about governments forcing people to swim the Ocean, then arming families with shotguns and rifles to go back and kill the zombies, like some kind of bad suicidal maniac patriots.
Well, I was thinking boats, but anyway.

Alright, happened, what makes you think I am in any way fit to lead the human revolt?

You say it's happened, fine, but does that mean the armed forces have been infiltrated? If so, there are no means of defence, we're all dead. If not, then we could possibly lead some revolt, but how could anything like this be organised? Carrier pigeon?

Oh, and do you really not think you'd spot a zombie in an airport?
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
Apocalypse:
1. The complete final destruction of the world, esp. as described in the biblical book of Revelation.
2. An event involving destruction or damage on an awesome or catastrophic scale.

Right, let's say I'm not going to France, I'm staying put. It's an apocalypse as you put it. I ain't surviving that. Someone once proposed burying people on top of each other, as there wasn't enough room (in London anyway), so think of the amount of zombies we're dealing with.

And if everything else has gone down, even if we survive, it's prolonging the inevitable. We'd all die in time, as there is absolutely no means of communication.
Destruction or damage on an awesome or catastrophic scale, combined in the context of zombies, doesn't mean it's something you would just say oh well, I'll probably die anyway, not that I would if this weren't happening, as I'm an immortal, it means there is a zombie invasion, on a massive scale. What do you think was happening in Shaun of the Dead, a zombie group gone rogue, tearing up the country causing a stir. That was a fecking zombie apocalypse right there! You've already just mentioned you live in a remote location, so I'm not sure what stacking up bodies in London has to do with it.
 

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
In the UK ? probably the best place to find a shotgun is in the country, farmers, upper/middle class hunting tards, crazy people.
I'm in Yorkshire. There's no such thing as middle class.

Apart from that one bloke who claimed to be middle class, as, and I quote, he'd been on an aeroplane. Good docu. but that's another story.

Burrow, based on everything Hectic's said, there is no way of survival. He's cutting off all the possible things we need to survive. Transportation, communication, organisation.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
Liam, I was looking for a bit of a more extensive, personal answer through the struggle inside an urban environment, rather than who had the quickest plan to reach France or America via train plain or sea. Because that's exactly what happened in the film you've referenced twice, where they didn't use a form of public transport aside from stolen cars once.
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
:lol: Oh lord...oh lord oh lord oh lord.

:lol: Just...what?!
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
Burrow, based on everything Hectic's said, there is no way of survival. He's cutting off all the possible things we need to survive. Transportation, communication, organisation.
So you can't contact another country, you can't escape to another country. Check my options, oh, right, not much there. I'll go ahead and just die then.
 

JakeC

Last Man Standing 2 champion 2020/21
Joined
Jun 17, 2011
Messages
29,733
I think Liam loses by default
 

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
Destruction or damage on an awesome or catastrophic scale, combined in the context of zombies, doesn't mean it's something you would just say oh well, I'll probably die anyway, not that I would if this weren't happening, as I'm an immortal, it means there is a zombie invasion, on a massive scale. What do you think was happening in Shaun of the Dead, a zombie group gone rogue, tearing up the country causing a stir. That was a fecking zombie apocalypse right there! You've already just mentioned you live in a remote location, so I'm not sure what stacking up bodies in London has to do with it.
Zombies will get around in time, my point being there's gonna be feckin' loads of them.

You know what, if there really was some zombie apocalypse tomorrow, I'd proclaim you to be God for foreseeing this, but I would literally run up the motorway (obviously I'd have to slow down a bit every now and again) to my family, praying that I'd make it there in time.

I mean, I look around my room now (deja vu here by the way), what the hell would I have to defend myself with? A flimsy lamp, super noodles and coco pops? At the moment, I have no way of surviving, I'd go home, that way even if I died, at least I'd be with my family, and as it's much more urban, there'd be more things to kill them with (zombies, obviously).

At home, I think we'd be using my brother's BB Gun, and take other, heavy objects to the roof.

So yeah, new plan would be to run home (unless I caught a bus knocking about), and try fight them off with family and friends, although we wouldn't have much to fight them off with.
 

Lastwolf

Full Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
6,729
Location
Brick Sofa
Fair play, but feck load of farmers, I bet they all have shotguns for foxes, badgers, wives etc.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
He's cutting off all the possible things we need to survive. Transportation, communication, organisation.
I've been reading this over and over again. None of those things are remotely key to survival. Are you aware of the existence of tribes?
 

Lastwolf

Full Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
6,729
Location
Brick Sofa
Best part was passport, as if that would come in handy. First thing any other country would do is annex the UK anyway. Your passport isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
Yes, your hopes are with TB now. And he will lose if he thinks he can provide a short answer in his weird half lines. I want a complete answer, I don't care about the format, but there must be substantial length, as there is no short answer.
 

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
So you can't contact another country, you can't escape to another country. Check my options, oh, right, not much there. I'll go ahead and just die then.
:lol: I want to know the 'right' answer when we're done here, as nothing I'm saying is good or right.

I'll admit, facing death, I'd probably cry quite a bit and struggle to kill zombies. I mean, in that film, they're debating which vinyls to throw, and which to keep, let's be honest, you'd be more panicked than that.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
Hi, I'm coming from the UK, we've escaping from a zombie outbreak. I have my passport though!
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
:lol: I want to know the 'right' answer when we're done here, as nothing I'm saying is good or right.

I'll admit, facing death, I'd probably cry quite a bit and struggle to kill zombies. I mean, in that film, they're debating which vinyls to throw, and which to keep, let's be honest, you'd be more panicked than that.
That's a better answer than any of the first one you provided. It's not about how you will live and beat the outbreak, but what you would do realistically when faced against something of this magnitude. After TB posts his answer I will post my own.
 

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
I've been reading this over and over again. None of those things are remotely key to survival. Are you aware of the existence of tribes?
Well, yeah, but I don't think they've faced zombie attacks before. It's usually just clueless boars and shit.
Laim watch Man vs Wild .
Is it a zombie film? Do they survive? If not, I'm not interested.
Best part was passport, as if that would come in handy. First thing any other country would do is annex the UK anyway. Your passport isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
:lol: Yeah, zombies surround you, and you're trying to get through customs, rooting through hand luggage for your passport. It is a humorous scene.
 

Lastwolf

Full Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
6,729
Location
Brick Sofa
Can't see TB posting any time soon, even if he suspected it was all bullshit the Newbie-Mod windup musta hurt him.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
- Hello Sir, welcome to British Airlines. Can I have your passport please sir?
- Oh my god I didn't bring it. Oh, haha it's alright actually...
- Sir?
- I just realized, I'm a fecking zombie!
- Haha me too. What am I even doing here?!
 

Liam147

On Probation
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
16,714
Location
Not a complete cock, just really young.
That's a better answer than any of the first one you provided. It's not about how you will live and beat the outbreak, but what you would do realistically when faced against something of this magnitude. After TB posts his answer I will post my own.
You know what, I've thought.

If I get back to Bradford, our neighbourhood could sort of rally together. But no one I know has any guns, and any available will be snapped up quickly. Unless we all got in a massive circle and swiped at them with things like chainsaws. Communication and transport wouldn't be essential as it's all local.

Hm, maybe it could be done.
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
We have a Zombie situation on our hands and fecking Laim is going on holiday, with his flat-mates, who have also avoided the Zombie invasion.

I mean, seriously what the feck Laim. Hectic gave you a reasonable question, with no tricks and you have already partially mentally capitulated.

I love this thread.
 

JakeC

Last Man Standing 2 champion 2020/21
Joined
Jun 17, 2011
Messages
29,733
If you found out your mother was a zombie, would you kill her or just lock her up and keep her alive? how would you kill her?
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
I'm convinced by this circle idea, a rectangle is obviously too much for most people to process without collapsing in a pile of their own excrement. Luckily the Roman's managed it, but no a circle is fine. A circle of chainsaws, which is perfect when the Zombies eventually kill one person, flood in the middle and kill everyone else because they are facing every other direction.

Laim, you're the world shittest general and I claim my prize.
 

Lastwolf

Full Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
6,729
Location
Brick Sofa
The "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" is a question I've asked before to people, answers are always pretty poor, no-one ever thinks long term or even very good short term.

Zombie movies/ tv shows annoy me immensely, they seem to exist in a world were the walking dead can occur and also, no-one has ever heard of a zombie before. There must always be a protracted and often cringe-worthy "You have to shoot them in the head!" scene. Everyone knows this, why is it a surprise ?
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
Ok fine.

There are a few scenarios here that would impact my plan, so I'll try run through what I can.

Assuming it's tomorrow morning, I'd get straight out to all my flatmates, ask if they've seen the news, and if they hadn't tell them to put it on, so I don't sound mental. Basically, we'd go around spreading the word to everyone else in my block. I'd get some of my things: a phone, passport, knives, (glass) bottles, plates (have you seen Shaun of the Dead?), mainly for attacking.

If we see zombies outside, coming in, the best thing to must be to attack them. Gung ho, all out attack.

That said, I'm in a fairly remote location, so I'd say the following scenario would be a lot more likely.

I'd instantly round people up like I did before, but this time get more food, other weapons could be found, i.e. wood/bricks etc so food would be more important. I assume the government would issue out warnings and advice, such as that all people near the coast must use the sea as a form of migration to leave the airports less busy for people like me. Planes would be a lot more frequent, as we'd have others coming in from the world to help us out, to take us to France, so they could get back to England quickly, and we could take temporary refuge there. I reckon most of us would get away, with the likes of the army/emergency services having to stay behind to get everyone out, whilst guarding the airports. Some people would still die, but plenty would escape, at which point, countries would join forces and pool our defences (defenses?). I'd imagine one shotgun/rifle would be handed out amongst families primarily, then perhaps two depending on resources. Explosives I'd imagine would be useful too, and power tools perhaps (chainsaw?).

So, to summarise, the army and all the forces would help evacuate the country, after which point, the countries of the UN, and hopefully the rest of the world would unite to fight the undead.

Questions?
 

Lastwolf

Full Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
6,729
Location
Brick Sofa
If you found out your mother was a zombie, would you kill her or just lock her up and keep her alive? how would you kill her?
Shoot her. She's my mum but she's dead now.

Srsly, even real live people you should probably shoot, people always lie about being bitten. The real question is, your mom has been bitten, what do you do ?

Again, the right answer is, shoot her. But it's a bit more difficult.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
If you found out your mother was a zombie, would you kill her or just lock her up and keep her alive? how would you kill her?
We aren't at that stage yet Jake!
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
Shoot her. She's my mum but she's dead now.

Srsly, even real live people you should probably shoot, people always lie about being bitten. The real question is, your mom has been bitten, what do you do ?

Again, the right answer is, shoot her. But it's a bit more difficult.
'A bit more difficult' as in, she is the person who brought you into this world and so shooting her is slightly taboo for most people with a mind not consisting of Tropicana Mango & Orange juice?

I think you should be in the CMOTv3.
 

Hectic

Full Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
75,346
Supports
30fps
I'm convinced by this circle idea, a rectangle is obviously too much for most people to process without collapsing in a pile of their own excrement. Luckily the Roman's managed it, but no a circle is fine. A circle of chainsaws, which is perfect when the Zombies eventually kill one person, flood in the middle and kill everyone else because they are facing every other direction.

Laim, you're the world shittest general and I claim my prize.
:lol:
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
:lol:

Holy feck, we've found ANOTHER murderer in the newbs. What the feck guys, seriously, in future you realise you'll have to get to Shipman-esque levels for promotion to the mains.
 

Adzzz

Astrophysical Genius - Hard for Grinner
Staff
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
32,781
Location
Kebab Shop
If you ain't on some next level serial killer shit, you a fecking punk in here.
 

Art

Art the artist
Joined
Mar 29, 2011
Messages
8,210
Location
Vancouver
I don't mean to intrude but If there really was a Zombie apocalypse , being mentally stable and not panicking would be one of the most toughest things to achieve . Generally , I would rather set very short term objectives and after Ive achieved them Id think about the next one . I mean , there are fecking zombies out there and who the hell thinks about their passport .