Crappy commentary - What's the worst?

[duffer]

I'm watching Chelsea TV and the commentator said that the keeper let a shot in because (and I quote) "the power had too much power behind it", what's the worst commentary you've heard?

Bonus points for video /audio evidence.

My favourite shitty commentary has to be from Barry Davies: "Nicky Butt, he's another aptly named player. He joins things, brings one sentence to an end and starts another".

 

[coolredwine]

Ray Hudson.

 

[Xeno]

Anything ever said by Michael Owen.
David Pleat mangling every name pronunciation, whether they're incredibly exotic or mundane.
David Pleat referring to everyone, as 'the boy'. As in 'the boy Pirlo'.
David Pleat.

 

[One Night Only]

If that was on target it was in
I agree with the referee

 

[Tarrou]

Nev's orgasm for Chelsea Barca

 

[simonhch]

1 - Don't ever talk shit about Barry Davies.
2 - "He hit it too well"
3 - Any and all American commentators.
4 - Ray Hudson
5 - The Owens - Michael and Hargreaves.

 

[duffer]

Nev's orgasm for Chelsea Barca

Crappy? That was fecking legendary!

 

[Sylar]

Cant remember whether it was commentary or in the studio, but the "when they dont score, they hardly ever win" always makes me laugh.

"He looks like a footballer".

Andy Townsend was terrible on itv.

 

[Big Ben Foster]

I'm watching Chelsea TV and the commentator said that the keeper let a shot in because (and I quote) "the power had too much power behind it", what's the worst commentary you've heard?

Bonus points for video /audio evidence.

My favourite shitty commentary has to be from Barry Davies: "Nicky Butt, he's another aptly named player. He joins things, brings one sentence to an end and starts another".

Reminds me of the classic Kevin Keegan quote "he's using his strength, and that's his strength, his strength".

 

[Tarrou]

Crappy? That was fecking legendary!

Nah it was definitely crappy mate, Barry's Nicky Butt line on the other hand... THAT is legendary.

 

[Andeva]

There was a norwegian commentator praising Michael Owen for all his involvment throughout a whole game, and was left very confused when he came on as a sub in the 89th minute.

 

[Ivor Ballokov]

I hate Michael Owen and Niall Quinn but at least they have the decency to be so bland that they're easily ignored for most of the game.

Robbie Savage has no business being offered money for his opinion, he has a lack of basic understanding on things that it would make you uncomfortable watching him attempt to scale a set of stairs.

I always feel like Owen Hargreaves is threatening me.

Mark Lawrenson makes for disconcerting listening, every time he's quiet you're bracing yourself because you know he's thinking of the next thing to say, it's like watching Jaws if you replaced the shark with inane ramblings.

Basically they're pretty much all shit.

 

[Trurl]

Robbie Savage has no business being offered money for his opinion, he has a lack of basic understanding on things that it would make you uncomfortable watching him attempt to scale a set of stairs.

Was just about to post this.

 

[duffer]

Only 1 clip posted so far (and that is probably my favourite bit of commentary ever). You people suck.

 

[top1whoisman]

Owen's brains literally let him down.

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[Grinner]

The introduction of the colour man has killed it for me. At least when Barry Davies or Motson were commentating they would shut up for a bit. Now every game is just two blokes constantly wittering to each other about mundane shit. I fecking hate watching games now and want to put my foot through the telly several times a game because of the inanity that's spouted.

I really fecking hate the opening line too. Every time it's like an attempt to have the scrolling Star Wars thing to dramatically set up the next 90 minutes of blokes kicking a ball.

 

[Ivor Ballokov]

Was just about to post this.

I'm Welsh so I fully endorse that particular moment, incredible game.

 

[simonhch]

The introduction of the colour man has killed it for me. At least when Barry Davies or Motson were commentating they would shut up for a bit. Now every game is just two blokes constantly wittering to each other about mundane shit. I fecking hate watching games now and want to put my foot through the telly several times a game because of the inanity that's spouted.

I really fecking hate the opening line too. Every time it's like an attempt to have the scrolling Star Wars thing to dramatically set up the next 90 minutes of blokes kicking a ball.

This man knows. Although I will say that with Barry Davies commentating and Trevor Brooking as a colour man, you can't go wrong. David Pleat is good too. Knows when to shut up.

But commentating today is just idiots trying to fill every second of air time with their voice.

 

[Trurl]

I'm Welsh so I fully endorse that particular moment, incredible game.

I'd say half the commentators today, including all those previously mentioned are an instant mute for me, life's way too short and there are too many things to replace with these days, like podcasts and radio.

 

[simonhch]

As annoying as commentators can be, how can you watch the game on mute and miss out on the crowd noise?

 

[Ivor Ballokov]

I'd say half the commentators today, including all those previously mentioned are an instant mute for me, life's way too short and there are too many things to replace with these days, like podcasts and radio.

I like the crowd noise, a crowd noise only button would be great. Or commentators who aren't useless, i'm open to either.

 

[Sylar]

As annoying as commentators can be, how can you watch the game on mute and miss out on the crowd noise?

There should be a red button option to just hear the crowd with no commentators.

 

[Trurl]

As annoying as commentators can be, how can you watch the game on mute and miss out on the crowd noise?

Well the lack of that can be as much cause for grief, though I agree, ideally you would have 2 separate tracks..

 

[JamesB__]

Alan Parry is the worst for me. Has the most irritating voice and is constantly talking - he doesn't realise that occasional silence from the commentator is fine.

 

[Roosney]

In a F1 race there was a re-play going on and the Finnish commentaror said that "something is happening, oh, hold on. This could be a re-play, not sure if it is".
It was in slo-mo ffs

 

[duffer]

There should be a red button option to just hear the crowd with no commentators.

There used to be. They got rid of it (nobody ever used the option).

 

[Minkaro]

As annoying as commentators can be, how can you watch the game on mute and miss out on the crowd noise?

Quite easily, not sure why I'd want to listen to thousands of people having childish arguments with each other. "YOUR SUPPORT IS feckING SHIT" "NO YOURS" "OUR DADS COULD BEAT UP YOUR DADS"

On topic: Peter Drury.

 

[prath92]

Alexi Lalas is useless in every way

 

[12OunceEpilogue]

Andy Townsend was terrible on itv.

He of Tactics Truck and 'hit it too well' fame.

I can't stand the general way commentators will make a call in the heat of the moment then bend over backwards to defend it come what may. Neville did it with Zlatan's tap on Seamus Coleman's head (he fell heavily, banged his head on the floor, then Zlatan fell on him too but somehow it was a tap on the head that injured him) and Savage is a major proponent of the technique, most notably when he wasn't having it that a Newcastle player throwing a vertical arm in the air and making contact with the ball wasn't in any way questionable conduct.

It wasn't commentary but George Best in the Sky studio saying “When they first installed all-seater stadiums everyone predicted that the fans wouldn't stand for it” is a classic.

 

[prath92]

Peter Drury I have found fine. He can be a bit bland but he actually does it well.

There's a guy on BT who calls mkhitariyan as mackitariyan.

 

[Šjor Bepo]

l like Hudson, usually commentators are boring and stupid so its refreshing to have someone who will make you laugh from time to time but i can see why are people hating him, id probably be one of them if i watched "his" games every week rather then once or twice a month that i do now.

PS: would also love a red button for no commentators.

 

[stepic]

Quite easily, not sure why I'd want to listen to thousands of people having childish arguments with each other. "YOUR SUPPORT IS feckING SHIT" "NO YOURS" "OUR DADS COULD BEAT UP YOUR DADS"

When do you ever hear that on tv? Never.

 

[BAMSOLA]

Ray Hudson.

Yep, we have a winner right here.

 

[coolredwine]

Owen's brains literally let him down.

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I would do her.

 

[top1whoisman]

I would do her.

I like Owen's hair, too, but I've seen better.

 

[coolredwine]

Only 1 clip posted so far (and that is probably my favourite bit of commentary ever). You people suck.

Ray Hudson might be the only guy to measure Messi's shot power in gigawatts.

 

[Grinner]

 

[Rossa]

A Swedish commentator who, after Andy Cole missed a sitter, exclaimed "jævla kullskall" which translates into f***** ni****. Not very nice that.

 

[Nanook]

Former Sky Sports presenter Sam Matterface on Talksport

"It's about as weak as a glass of orange squash which is 52 parts water and half a part........squash."

 

[simonhch]

Despite having bein Sports in my cable package, I just don't bother watching La Liga any more, purely because of Ray Hudson. He is THAT annoying. Truly one of the worst things to ever happen to football. Combine the grating voice with an endless arms race against himself to produce the most nonsensical, ridiculous, and annoying analogies imaginable.

Plus, his staple refrains are just as irritating, "the old onion bag", "like a metronome", "magisterial".

feck, I hate him.