Those are the words I have serious concerns about looking at our midfield in the last two games
Cristiano Ronaldo - Man Utd Player
- Thread starter RonaldoVII
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What the fecks he waffling on about. Of course he isnt gonna perform the same as he did over 10 years ago you daft fat feck. These idiots talk shit for the sake of talking. Tired of then. Especially that dinosaur souness.
The mist parts. He walks towards the jubilant crowd and raises his hand in the direction of a twenty-something girl. He looks straight at her and in his dulcet tones shouts "YOU! SCANTS. DOWN."
The fans cheer. Damo wipes motor oil from his visual ports. Colin wipes his knob on your mum's curtains and clambers down the drainpipe before dad gets back from the local dog fight. Ronnie soaks in the applause from the fans who never left his side. The look of joy slowly turns to disgust, however, when the girl turns around and removes her wig.
"Pep? Ah told ye ahm no joining yer bunch of Bertie cnuts." He says in his authentic Glaswegian accent. Pep drops his head, puts the caramel wafers back into his Peppa Pig satchel, and waddles back into the river to hunt for raw sewage.
Thats such a stupid example as 100m atheletes losing just 1% of their speed could see them go from winning to like 8th or 9th.
There are plenty of vids out there from last season which clearly shows his acceleration and pace, and blowing past defenders.
Merson is a certified git.
What boils my piss most about garbage like this, is that it doesn't acknowledge that Ronaldo is a freak, mentally speaking, he's beyond even Michael Jordan in that sense I think. If Bolt wanted to be running the 100m then he still could be, but he doesn't want it enough. Michael Jordan could have continued playing beyond the 1998 season with the Bulls, but he didn't want it enough (I know there are other factors, but he wouldn't have been without offers to play if he really wanted too)
Ronaldo's drive to be the best, in a sport he loves, for as long as possible is something that hasn't been seen. I certainly can't think of an example within the sport of Football.
It shouldn't come as any surprise that an absolute waster like Merson doesn't get it though.
Merson says everybody can get in shape. 
Comedies write themselves.
Worst part is that if he joined City they would creaming themselves over him.
Comedies write themselves.
Worst part is that if he joined City they would creaming themselves over him.
So how does everyone think he’ll get on this season, how many goals do we think he’ll score? Maybe we can have a poll?
Personally, I think he’ll get somewhere between 15-20 goals (no pens) in the league.
Personally, I think he’ll get somewhere between 15-20 goals (no pens) in the league.
Apart from him thenMerson says everybody can get in shape.
Comedies write themselves.
Shall we prove him wrong? I will start a thread in the general to track progress and field suggestions as to how we get there and we can see if I, as a 34 year old man can get close to Ronaldo.Merson says everybody can get in shape.
Comedies write themselves.
Good idea! I think we can do it in 6 months.
Yeah but you know he'd do it if he wanted to.Apart from him then
There is already a thread about that. And any reason why you think he's going to score half the goals he did last season, when his goals to game ratio has barely changed over his career.
Edit. I missed the 'in the league' bit. Still thats a bit of a drop from his 29 league goals last season (6 pens i think).
Ah apologies I’ll have a look now!
To be honestly it’s purely down to the fact that I don’t think we’ll create as many chances for him as Juve did, his conversion rate will no doubt stay the same though! Closer to 20 goals which I’ll be more than happy with, but I don’t think he’ll match his Juve numbers, down to our own limitations.
Should've made an Onlyfans for those pics and we would've made back the fee.
Well Juve were struggling a lot last season. I get what you mean though, we can go from a game creating tons of chances, to a game where we create 5.
Still i think having Ronaldo will help converting some of those chances we missed against Southampton for example.
Exactly, I still think he’ll be a huge success though, can’t believe the utter nonsense Merson is coming out with, he’s still one of the best finishers ever! The buzz he’ll give the rest of the team is probably worth about 10-15 goals alone
Merson should stfu when he's talking about things he doesn't know. Usain retired not because he was in decline but because he won everything and wanted to retire on a high. Our other Jamaican sensation Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce is 35 this year post baby and ran a PB that also happens to be the 3rd fastest time ever ran by a woman on earth. We are rewriting what is achievable for humans in their mid 30s.
It starts the domino effect as well. Ronaldo converts one of those chances and now the opposition open up, trying to get back into the game. Boom. Another chance gets converted. Now the opposition are dejected. Boom. Ronnie hat trick. Boom. Boom. Holy shit, five goals for Ronaldo. Opposition are in tatters. Boom. Six. Boom seven. Siiiiuuuuuuuuu. Then Cavani gets a hat trick. Manchester United 10, Liverpool 0.
Ah, Lee Hendrie, the esteemed England international. That’s that then.
Ronaldo is epitome of a top class athlete. NBA players play their whole career jumping while footballers run over 10k every single game with speeds up to 35km/h like the fastest NBA players but the distance is about 2-3x the distance and the sprints are longer. So please they'll me how a 36 year old footballer jumping over 70cm, running over 10k while maxing out over 30km/h isn't elite. You know he is 36 right? He would have jumped higher at his peak level 5-6 years ago and he had higher speed and quicker acceleration.
And Justin Gatlin beat Bolt at 37 if i remember right.
Why do people pretend that Ronaldo is attractive. Gay men seem to fawn over him, but he’s a fcuking weird looking dude.
You’re correct though. His OnlyFans would make him tens of millions. Such is the world we live in.
I'm liking your style!.
God i'd donate my left nut to science to see Ronaldo score a Hattrick on his debut against Newcastle. The likes of Merson and Souness would need a 2 month break to recover.
he was yonnger than that. but for what its worth Gatlin just ran a sub 10 at the age of 39
Sounds like someone got rejected by Ronaldo
Wonder if Paul Merson can even make toast without breaking a sweat in his condition
Yeah he was 36, i just checked.
which happens to be the same age as ronaldo . would you look at that
Ronaldo is fitter at 36 than Merson has ever been at any point in his life and career.
Why does science want your left nut?I'm liking your style!.
God i'd donate my left nut to science to see Ronaldo score a Hattrick on his debut against Newcastle. The likes of Merson and Souness would need a 2 month break to recover.
I dont know actuially but i'd still do it!.Why does science want your left nut?
God, I am so excited to watch that first game against Newcastle.
Anyone have stats on his free kicks that include how many times he hits the target and the keeper does not gain control of the ball?
PR team aside, I didn't cry at that last line, I cried at the last paragraph where it talked about all the firsts he'd achieved with us.
Seems pretty objectively attractive to me. Body of a Greek god, high cheek bones, olive skin and great teeth. Seems a bit weird to me that you'd call people that think he's attractive pretenders.
2009 - 2021
His smile: gone
2009 - 2021
And yet some people rate him like he's only ever scored goals and nothing else. For some 6-8 years he did it all on a football pitch.
What a player.
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