As someone who has forged a successful career myself (former CEO and current director of a major company), and done it from a background of being abused sexually as a child, and twice falling into addiction and self destructive behaviour; this story does nothing but tear at my heart strings. People who haven’t been through shit like that will never know how profoundly it affects you every day of your life. The self loathing you can have, despite knowing it’s not your fault. And the incessant need to numb yourself to the pain so you can keep functioning at the highest level. I can only imagine it’s even harder when you have millions of people spectating your every move. I am lucky enough that I only had to deal with friends, family, and a board of directors. Not tens of thousands of spectators, or millions of readers.
I couldn’t give a shit how he performs at this point. I hope the lad gets the help he needs and is able to get mentally healthy, because that’s all that matters at this point.
A few years ago there was a study done that showed that people who had been victim to extreme childhood trauma, either ended up very successful - because they had naturally developed incredible stress coping mechanisms - or a complete mess. The study found that there were a disproportionately high number of top executives and leaders who had traumatic backgrounds versus the general population.
Unfortunately, from personal experience I can also say that to be true, but that it also leads people to operate at a “red line” level for far longer than they should. My trauma created someone who was incredibly driven and able to handle any crisis. I almost revelled in it. But I put myself through extreme physical and mental strain to get there, and there arrived a point where my coping mechanisms crashed down and all the trauma came flooding back in, and I was unable to cope with anything. Thought about killing myself many, many times in that period, and it was only being a father that stopped me from doing so. It’s an unnatural state to be in. It sounds like Dele went through the same thing, and his trigger was being dropped and not played, which tapped into his self loathing and crumbled all the self protective walls.
We are so harsh as a society. We have such a shitty grasp on mental health, and an even shittier response to it. I hope this lad gets healthy, I really do. I feel his pain.
