Email Woodward circulated to staff (apparently)

[Jazz]

To my eye it looks like he is saying this as he only plans to spend 'x' amount and is making excuses so he doesn't look tight to the fans. I could be wrong.

I agree with your point about him backing every manager and that hasn't done us any favours, which is why I think we should have hired a DoF sooner. Maybe he decided that he forked out so much money buying dross the last few seasons that he doesn't want to do it with Ole in case he gets bitten again. If this is the case, this further highlights the need for the mythical DoF/Technical Director that we have been crying out for.

I think he needs to get used to a market where fees are higher than they used to be and just pay up what they want to get the transfer done and move on to the next one quick time, assuming he is only working on one transfer at a time, which I hope is wrong as Ole wanted all the signings in by the start of preseason, which I think is going to feck us over.
I personally wouldn't want to pay stupid money although I would much rather pay what said club is asking for a decent player, rather than see them move to a different team or because we didn't put up another few million even worse not getting another player in who plays in that position, when we fail to sign first player.

I think we've set such a bad precedent with over paying and it's hard to correct it at the moment but we should try.

Agree though, Ed's big fault is not hiring a technical director. It would make his life so much easier that I don't know what he's waiting for. Then again, we're not privy to the dynamics within the club. We can only chill until the season starts where we get stressed out again

 

[DoomSlayer]

You're seemingly moving the goal posts......
The reality is there are no perfect owners. The club generates a lot of money and are able to make structural changes without them having to 'personally' fund it. What they should be accused of is the total lack of organisation on the football side of things. However, considering how much they've spent/wasted, I hardly think we can complain about them not buying players. They just have the wrong people in charge of football matters.

Any honest and proper business owner knows that there are times when investments from your own pocket are needed to keep the direction of the organisation in line of what all stakeholders expect.

I'm involved in my family's business dealings and there is no way we could have survived on revenue only, let alone try to keep developing the structure and size of operations.

 

[Eric's Seagull]

I think we've set such a bad precedent with over paying and it's hard to correct it at the moment but we should try.

Agree though, Ed's big fault is not hiring a technical director. It would make his life so much easier that I don't know what he's waiting for. Then again, we're not privy to the dynamics within the club. We can only chill until the season starts where we get stressed out again

Totally agree

 

[Jazz]

Any honest and proper business owner knows that there are times when investments from your own pocket are needed to keep the direction of the organisation in line of what all stakeholders expect.

I'm involved in my family's business dealings and there is no way we could have survived on revenue only, let alone try to keep developing the structure and size of operations.

I hear what you're saying but to be honest, it is an investment for them. You're own family business is different. Plus the Glazers are corporate types, and that lot won't take a penny from their own pocket.

Look, if they would have the right organisation in place then I don't think fans would be so pissed off. Owners of these huge billion dollar clubs/organisations aren't exactly nice people. You have to live with it because it's reality. I'm also sure there's worse owners out there, like someone taking out even more money, or we get that despot from Saudi. I'm not the greatest person, but such an owner of my beloved club would really disgust me.

 

[Ventura]

So we have a vision? That's certainly news and I guess we'll wait and see what excitement is in store for us.

 

[Rightnr]

Yes, because you only brief your staff on your vision and strategy halfway through executing it. Makes sense. Sure.

 

[DoomSlayer]

I hear what you're saying but to be honest, it is an investment for them. You're own family business is different. Plus the Glazers are corporate types, and that lot won't take a penny from their own pocket.

Look, if they would have the right organisation in place then I don't think fans would be so pissed off. Owners of these huge billion dollar clubs/organisations aren't exactly nice people. You have to live with it because it's reality. I'm also sure there's worse owners out there, like someone taking out even more money, or we get that despot from Saudi. I'm not the greatest person, but such an owner of my beloved club would really disgust me.

I know they are not nice people. That's one of the main reasons for my belief that only more extreme actions can pressure them into doing something for the future of the club. They'd be happy to leech off everything possible of Manchester United and then selling us when we no longer bring any sort of profit or value to their business operations.

 

[Jazz]

I know they are not nice people. That's one of the main reasons for my belief that only more extreme actions can pressure them into doing something for the future of the club. They'd be happy to leech off everything possible of Manchester United and then selling us when we no longer bring any sort of profit or value to their business operations.

Maybe we present our concerns through MUST? Let them represent the fans and first try to calmly present the issues? Get someone from the club to engage with us? I don't know. I just believe the hysteria and negativity is not helping us and I want us to succeed. I don't know what the answer is, but the constant angst can't be the right way. Negativity never is.

 

[DoomSlayer]

Maybe we present our concerns through MUST? Let them represent the fans and first try to calmly present the issues? Get someone from the club to engage with us? I don't know. I just believe the hysteria and negativity is not helping us and I want us to succeed. I don't know what the answer is, but the constant angst can't be the right way. Negativity never is.

I agree with your sentiment but some older fans have been saying that MUST is kind of in bed with the club and not much real interaction goes on, especially when it comes to the pressing issues we have right now.

My proposal would be to put football people in charge of United that would know what is best of the club and would demand the appropriate investment from the Glazers. Not just in players as the likes of Woodward may think, but in every department that is involved into providing a successful future.

 

[Jazz]

I agree with your sentiment but some older fans have been saying that MUST is kind of in bed with the club and not much real interaction goes on, especially when it comes to the pressing issues we have in the club.

My proposal would be to put football people in charge of the club that would know what is best of the club and would demand the appropriate investment from the Glazers. Not just in players as the likes of Woodward may think, but in every department that is involved into providing a successful future.

I didn't know that about MUST. Disappointing if so.

I agree with your suggestion about having football people in charge of football matters. We are sorely lacking in that area.

 

[Tincanalley]

That's just how Ed writes. Here's a copy of the e-mail which I had leaked from a mate who works at Old Trafford...

Dear Staff (Employees),

I (Ed Woodward) would like to thank you (the recipient) of your continued dedication to the club (Manchester United) over the last number of months (a unit of time, used with calendars, which is approximately as long as a natural period related to the motion of the Moon).

I would like to take this opportunity to reassure you that - despite recent stories in the media - we (the club (Manchester United (a professional football club based in Old Trafford, Manchester (a metropolitan borough in Greater Manchester (help me, I can't stop elaborating in brackets (tall punctuation marks commonly used in matched pairs (please make it stop (send help now)))))))).

Get back to work.

Kind regards,
Ed (The Teflon Don)

 

[BeforeKeanetherewasRobson]

That's just how Ed writes. Here's a copy of the e-mail which I had leaked from a mate who works at Old Trafford...

Dear Staff (Employees),

I (Ed Woodward) would like to thank you (the recipient) of your continued dedication to the club (Manchester United) over the last number of months (a unit of time, used with calendars, which is approximately as long as a natural period related to the motion of the Moon).

I would like to take this opportunity to reassure you that - despite recent stories in the media - we (the club (Manchester United (a professional football club based in Old Trafford, Manchester (a metropolitan borough in Greater Manchester (help me, I can't stop elaborating in brackets (tall punctuation marks commonly used in matched pairs (please make it stop (send help now)))))))).

Get back to work.

Kind regards,
Ed (The Teflon Don)

That eight bracket sentence is excellent.

 

[pacifictheme]

you can't win anything with kids

Cantona
Keane
Schmeichal
Irwin
Pallister
Mcclair

That team of "kids" had a spine of fecking steel.

 

[Eric's Seagull]

Cantona
Keane
Schmeichal
Irwin
Pallister
Mcclair

That team of "kids" had a spine of fecking steel.

Agreed. Think Allan Hanson forgot this when he made the remark

 

[UncleBob]

Eh?

Eh what ?

 

[pacifictheme]

Agreed. Think Allan Hanson forgot this when he made the remark

Sadly our current team has a spine of jelly!

 

[roseguy64]

I have absolutely no idea why depictions of Ed Woodward as a bumbling idiot like Ricky Gervais in “The Office” bring some of you lot such pleasure. Carry on.

Because they feel they can do a better job than him so it helps. Also, it's much easier to believe the negative stories like what Stephen Howson had about Meunier rocking up to Old Trafford with his agent for a meeting with Matt Judge and Judge having no idea anything about him. Like someone who's been in the corporate world for more than 2 decades at the highest levels would be that unprepared.

 

[roseguy64]

To my eye it looks like he is saying this as he only plans to spend 'x' amount and is making excuses so he doesn't look tight to the fans. I could be wrong.

I agree with your point about him backing every manager and that hasn't done us any favours, which is why I think we should have hired a DoF sooner. Maybe he decided that he forked out so much money buying dross the last few seasons that he doesn't want to do it with Ole in case he gets bitten again. If this is the case, this further highlights the need for the mythical DoF/Technical Director that we have been crying out for.

I think he needs to get used to a market where fees are higher than they used to be and just pay up what they want to get the transfer done and move on to the next one quick time, assuming he is only working on one transfer at a time, which I hope is wrong as Ole wanted all the signings in by the start of preseason, which I think is going to feck us over.
I personally wouldn't want to pay stupid money although I would much rather pay what said club is asking for a decent player, rather than see them move to a different team or because we didn't put up another few million even worse not getting another player in who plays in that position, when we fail to sign first player.

We're not getting a DoF who'll be in sole charge of transfers though. Will be someone to be involved in a committee style thing based on the latest reports.

 

[buckooo1978]

most obvious leak

Woodward trying to placate fans

 

[Grylte]

Why would he clarify who the manager is? Can Woody spell Solskjaer?

Can you?
I'll help, here's an æ

 

[Eric's Seagull]

Sadly our current team has a spine of jelly!

That is something which I also agree with sadly

 

[Eric's Seagull]

We're not getting a DoF who'll be in sole charge of transfers though. Will be someone to be involved in a committee style thing based on the latest reports.

I would be happy if we got a committee as long as it takes some of the footballing decisions out of Woody's hands. I just hope he does this as quickly as possible.

 

[red thru&thru]

Eh what ?

I couldn't quite fathom what you meant?!

 

[UncleBob]

I couldn't quite fathom what you meant?!

Why would anyone be bothered about a non-existing Glazersout movement ?

 

[Velvet Revolver]

Sadly our current team has a spine of jelly!

Jellies don't have a spine. so the joke's on you mate .. haha ( laughter)

 

[Patrick08]

And who judges your flawed recruitment strategy Mr Ed when you call the work of technical directors as a collegiate approach.

No wonder why top managers and top players in the game keep snubbing this Man. He is a glazer stooge.

 

[red thru&thru]

Why would anyone be bothered about a non-existing Glazersout movement ?

Wouldn't say it's non-existent

 

[UncleBob]

Wouldn't say it's non-existent

Good one

 

[antohan]

Can you?
I'll help, here's an æ

Don't have weird characters on my phone

 

[Grylte]

Don't have weird characters on my phone

White text

It's a perfectly normal character!

 

[Patrick08]

Getting 2 midfielders wont solve the glaring midfield issues. Moron Woodward will shift all the blame on ole when he fails.

 

[DoomSlayer]

Wouldn't say it's non-existent

It's better to focus on the issues at hand. Trolls, WUMs, shills, defeatists, they will always exist. They feed on the attention.

I'm sure when shit hits the fan and some people like this poster start blaming Ole for it, most rational supporters will get behind him and go against the real culprits.

 

[Will Singh]

"We can do things in the transfer window that other clubs can only dream of"

Those sort of billy big bollock quotes gets you being bent over by other clubs.

 

[Chesterlestreet]

If this is actually a leak designed to placate fans, as people seem to think, Ed's a bigger idiot than most suspect.

I don't think he's that thick, personally. Signing some more players may placate some fans, talking about doing it won't have any effect beyond further pissing off those who have turned on him (and the owners).

 

[tenpoless]

Imagine this, you're Manchester United staff.

Yes it is a massive club but you're not in a higher position. You help them preparing the conference room, softwares, taking care of IT assets - IT support pretty much. And then after a long long week, the weekend finally came. You thought it'd be a good weekend, there were so many meetings because it's off-season and You couldn't wait just to relax. But you forgot one thing: To sign out your email account on your phone.

Saturday came, it was a beautiful day. The birds were singing, the neighbors dog didn't shit on your garden and you received so many free t-shirts and under wears from JLingz company. "Nice lad" you said. "I will put them all on e-bay and use the money to buy booze for next week's piñata party". Nice Saturday, free money, what's not to like?

And then at around 1 pm, your phone buzzed. You looked at the screen and saw there's an email. The sender name didn't show on the notification bar, but there was a preview text of "Dear Manchester United....". Maybe it was an e-mail of utter importance? so you gave it a read.

"From: ed.woodward@manutd.com
To : staff@manutd.com

Dear Manchester United staff,

As you know by the username on my e-mail, it is me Ed Woodward. Despite the inflated nature of the transfer market and constant speculation which can be misleading, the recruitment team - in conjunction with the manager (Ole Gunnar Solskjaer) and I - are working calmly behind the scenes to bring in other exciting players that fit their long-term vision for the club.

As a proof, We have signed James and Aaron Wan Bissaka calmly. We believe calmly that They are the way forward and We are thinking about the future prospects now. You can all now feel safe for the future of Manchester United because it is in great hands and you should not be worried at all because We always work hard and We are very calm.

Thank you and please don't forward the e-mail. Stay calm and future prospects, that's the key according to Mike Phelan.

Laters skaters,
Ed Woodward"

After reading the e-mail, your clenched your fists, they were shaking and your knees were weak. The perfect weekend, it's ruined now. How come such a clueless person run the club? Everyone and their mothers knew We were signing James and Bissaka when Woodward was busy removing trailing white spaces in this transfer request Word document. It's apparent to you that people on twitter have more idea about football club than this guy. And even if You see him on a daily basis because his laptop always needs fixing due to multiple Nigerian's prince attempts of scamming him, You never trusted him... so much that you decided to follow u/xisimon on twitter for transfer news.

What did you do after? You quickly forwarded the e-mail to telegraph.

 

[Patrick08]

If this is actually a leak designed to placate fans, as people seem to think, Ed's a bigger idiot than most suspect.

I don't think he's that thick, personally. Signing some more players may placate some fans, talking about doing it won't have any effect beyond further pissing off those who have turned on him (and the owners).

Thick enough to say" we can do things in market other clubs can only dream off ", or" we are prepared to pay 100m on Varane", or"united is like an adult Disney land".

And sanction 110 m just as transfer fees on midfielders like Fellani, Matic and Fred.

 

[Needham]

In an internal email to staff - seen by The Daily Telegraph - that was sent shortly before the official announcement of Aaron Wan-Bissaka’s £50 million move from Crystal Palace on Saturday, Woodward moved to quell some of the hysteria around the club by offering reassurance that they were busy “calmly” implementing their summer transfer plans.

Love a bit of calm implementation. Ed Woodward: the Calm Implementer.

 

[Morpheus 7]

A leak from the club basically saying we are still trying to bring in more, we are working hard but finding it difficult in the market. Keep patient and hopefully we get what we need.

Talk want matter from Ed this window, fans are seeing through this dof bullsht smokescreen too. Time to deliver and can't hide behind Ole if you don't invest properly this Summer. Pressure is clearly on now which is encouraging that more will come in. Does anyone not think this is a conveniently time briefing?

 

[red thru&thru]

Good one

Cheers

 

[red thru&thru]

It's better to focus on the issues at hand. Trolls, WUMs, shills, defeatists, they will always exist. They feed on the attention.

I'm sure when shit hits the fan and some people like this poster start blaming Ole for it, most rational supporters will get behind him and go against the real culprits.

Very true. I was just highlighting the fact that Ed has now fallen to new lows now, whereby he has to leak email leaks to the press. We all know that the #GlazersOut campaign would have massively added it to it.