fecking brilliant guys.
Girlfight ( in bikinis )
- Thread starter Davo
- Start date
- Status
The self appointed voice on the ground Redcharlie is down here amongst the fans tonight and Mr Jackson has thoughtfully provided a courgette for interviewing purposes:
Redcafe: Andy, can we have a word perlease: redcharlie from Redcafe TV. Is it true your supplying silk blindfolds and furry handcuffs to the fighters?
Andy: Where are the cats staying, anyone? I ain't sleepin' in one of those veg racks no matter how kinky they are.
Redcafe:Jesus H.Baldheaded, Melv has just walked in!
Melv! Melv!
Melv: does that count as a post!
Redcafe: no flash photography allowed on the pretence of lightning ,Melv!
Redcafe: over here guys, pan left: laydies and genellmen, that's 26. Whats the book, postie?
26: Odds are shifting, markets hot! Tine is in to 4/7 from halvers and Liv is out to 5/4 from evens.
Redcafe: Wow 26, on what grounds?
26: Rumour has it Tine's coming in starkers. Less for Liv to get hold of!Redcafe: Nice.......pan right, who do we have here?
Unknown: I have much experience of the fighting rules that was my friend Fergie's project of these fighting rules and Davo ask me to referee the contest but i have these formulations to to see my mate Yorkie later who will sprut like he knows the whirlpool attendents and is promising to bring them back to my five star and play all night on my celebrity mobile phone.
Redcafe: er, yes, thanks for that. Jeez, guess who's just walked into Jacksons folks? Plech! Plech!
Pletch: Que?
Redcafe:Plech, as a trainer, how do you see tomorrows final panning out?
Plech: its an imbroglio of confusion, really.......utterly discombobulating, but completly Orinoco.
Redcafe: Rams! Rams!
Rams: feck off..........where's the tissues in these racks!
Camera wide: Who's this? Guy with a large suitcase
Redcafe: Yaps! Yaps! What brings you here?
Yaps: I heard a couple of cows were getting it on.
Redcafe: Ha,ha,ha folks never mind old Yaps.......he's obviously never seen the heats......
Yes folks, its getting very hot crowded and excited down here in Mr Jacksons, where the drink is flowing all night and exclusive photos of the heats, as signed by redcharlie himself, are now on offer. Just a couple of tickets left now.......i'll accept a ton each! Mr Jackson is out the back making cabbage soup.
Bring it on!
Redcafe: Andy, can we have a word perlease: redcharlie from Redcafe TV. Is it true your supplying silk blindfolds and furry handcuffs to the fighters?
Andy: Where are the cats staying, anyone? I ain't sleepin' in one of those veg racks no matter how kinky they are.
Redcafe:Jesus H.Baldheaded, Melv has just walked in!
Melv! Melv!
Melv: does that count as a post!
Redcafe: no flash photography allowed on the pretence of lightning ,Melv!
Redcafe: over here guys, pan left: laydies and genellmen, that's 26. Whats the book, postie?
26: Odds are shifting, markets hot! Tine is in to 4/7 from halvers and Liv is out to 5/4 from evens.
Redcafe: Wow 26, on what grounds?
26: Rumour has it Tine's coming in starkers. Less for Liv to get hold of!Redcafe: Nice.......pan right, who do we have here?
Unknown: I have much experience of the fighting rules that was my friend Fergie's project of these fighting rules and Davo ask me to referee the contest but i have these formulations to to see my mate Yorkie later who will sprut like he knows the whirlpool attendents and is promising to bring them back to my five star and play all night on my celebrity mobile phone.
Redcafe: er, yes, thanks for that. Jeez, guess who's just walked into Jacksons folks? Plech! Plech!
Pletch: Que?
Redcafe:Plech, as a trainer, how do you see tomorrows final panning out?
Plech: its an imbroglio of confusion, really.......utterly discombobulating, but completly Orinoco.
Redcafe: Rams! Rams!
Rams: feck off..........where's the tissues in these racks!
Camera wide: Who's this? Guy with a large suitcase
Redcafe: Yaps! Yaps! What brings you here?
Yaps: I heard a couple of cows were getting it on.
Redcafe: Ha,ha,ha folks never mind old Yaps.......he's obviously never seen the heats......
Yes folks, its getting very hot crowded and excited down here in Mr Jacksons, where the drink is flowing all night and exclusive photos of the heats, as signed by redcharlie himself, are now on offer. Just a couple of tickets left now.......i'll accept a ton each! Mr Jackson is out the back making cabbage soup.
Bring it on!
Ha,ha, ha, folks.......i'm getting confused myself now. 26 informs me that it's Tine and Liz...........latest odds....Tine 1/2 Liz 11/8. Rumour has it Tine's so confident she's now gonna wear Nobby Stiles rosettes on her nips! It's insania down here!
Aye Im holidaying in Hull, just paassed by
Okaaaaaay folks, we're back at the pre fight all nighter at Mr Jackson's and I've got a very special guest with me now....the redcafe celebrity chef, Spinoza. Tell me Spin, whats on the menu tonight:
Spin: Well we're catering for all sorts,really.
RC: Give us a taster, Spin.........
Spin: Well, its deep fried cavier wrapped in toasted lettuce with a cherry tomato dressing for some, or for the likes of 26 its ten pork sausages, eight slices of economy bacon, six fried eggs, four slices of barmcake and a nice big meat pie.
Rc: Attaboy, Spin!
Yes folks, we're having a party!
Spin: Well we're catering for all sorts,really.
RC: Give us a taster, Spin.........
Spin: Well, its deep fried cavier wrapped in toasted lettuce with a cherry tomato dressing for some, or for the likes of 26 its ten pork sausages, eight slices of economy bacon, six fried eggs, four slices of barmcake and a nice big meat pie.
Rc: Attaboy, Spin!
Yes folks, we're having a party!
I suggest the good ol sweet and sour pork
ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE???????????
Yes, folks.......it's truly international down here tonight. I've just heard an aussie accent. Scuse me blue , whats your handle?
Unknown: Im Sporting Fc fan and youre talking touro.......
RC: Scuse me?
Sporting: Youre talking touro. Right or wrong?
Weaste: Don't be Vulgar!
Plech: Are you a celt?
Er......just a taster of the behind the scenes shenanigans in Mr Jacksons tonight, folks!..........
Another pint, please, Jacqueline. Such a beautiful name. Did I ever tell you the one about the poster with the six inch cock?
Unknown: Im Sporting Fc fan and youre talking touro.......
RC: Scuse me?
Sporting: Youre talking touro. Right or wrong?
Weaste: Don't be Vulgar!
Plech: Are you a celt?
Er......just a taster of the behind the scenes shenanigans in Mr Jacksons tonight, folks!..........
Another pint, please, Jacqueline. Such a beautiful name. Did I ever tell you the one about the poster with the six inch cock?
Pre -fight fashion watch.
What an eye opener here laydees and genellmen........the cafe members obviously have an eye on the Spring catwalk:
1. Would you adam and eve it, young Melv is sporting a black, latex one piece with an alsation on a chain.
2. Big Andy: wearing a rather tasteful pair of cream coloured chinos and a hooded sweatshirt brandishing Slickwillies! Still, for the resident kink, it's understated.
3. Rams: wearing only a codpiece with handfuls of tissues ( brand unknown). Not a pretty sight, folks!
4. Plech: possibly the surprise package. Plech is clad in what can only be described as an alphabet getout. His suit is literally made up of fanciful words entagled around his bod. He's smoking a cigar and is wearing a monacle.
5. Dev.......Dev is decidedly understated tonight in a sober black suit with a clip on badge that reads:Fifa coach of the year 2003.
6. Stanley Road..yes folks, Stan's here too.............dressed like Paul Weller in a pin striped getout, with foppish hair. Strangely smaller than I imagined. Boring everyone to death by summarising: 'that's entertainment!'
7. 26: oddest looking bookie you've ever seen........wearing his postie's getout and using his bag as a satchel. Wearing shorts and lemon coloured socks tho. Plus points on the catwalk.
8. Honest John: wearing a tee shirt reading ' Dead Mans Arms' and more than a little pissed tonight! Keeps asking for clues despite the fact no-one's doing crosswords here at Jacksons all nighter.
Just a flavour of tonights shenanigans, down here at Jacksons Grocery Store, Hull.
Only one ticket to go!
What an eye opener here laydees and genellmen........the cafe members obviously have an eye on the Spring catwalk:
1. Would you adam and eve it, young Melv is sporting a black, latex one piece with an alsation on a chain.
2. Big Andy: wearing a rather tasteful pair of cream coloured chinos and a hooded sweatshirt brandishing Slickwillies! Still, for the resident kink, it's understated.
3. Rams: wearing only a codpiece with handfuls of tissues ( brand unknown). Not a pretty sight, folks!
4. Plech: possibly the surprise package. Plech is clad in what can only be described as an alphabet getout. His suit is literally made up of fanciful words entagled around his bod. He's smoking a cigar and is wearing a monacle.
5. Dev.......Dev is decidedly understated tonight in a sober black suit with a clip on badge that reads:Fifa coach of the year 2003.
6. Stanley Road..yes folks, Stan's here too.............dressed like Paul Weller in a pin striped getout, with foppish hair. Strangely smaller than I imagined. Boring everyone to death by summarising: 'that's entertainment!'
7. 26: oddest looking bookie you've ever seen........wearing his postie's getout and using his bag as a satchel. Wearing shorts and lemon coloured socks tho. Plus points on the catwalk.
8. Honest John: wearing a tee shirt reading ' Dead Mans Arms' and more than a little pissed tonight! Keeps asking for clues despite the fact no-one's doing crosswords here at Jacksons all nighter.
Just a flavour of tonights shenanigans, down here at Jacksons Grocery Store, Hull.
Only one ticket to go!
Stop touting Charlie
BTW I have a few spare tikets here
BTW I have a few spare tikets here
Taste of what's to come?
Referee:
Contestants:
Contestants:
Plechazunga said:
I'm a lover not a fighter.Hello people, and good morning, having been in discussions all night with the local adult store, , I have managed to wangle a sponsorship deal for the big final.....Today's Girlfight (in Bikinis) Final will be sponsored by the 12" Black Mambo Vibrator with anal tickler.
Also, the adult store, Vibrator Village, would also like to donate some baby oil and distribute free copies of Razzle to all present at the bout, and you can't say fairer than that!
As I speak, Davo and plech are currently getting their beauty sleep, and god knows they need it, in preparation for a big day ahead!
Here's to the big fight later, and here's to Vibrator Village, for all your adult needs! call Hull 658264 for a catalogue now!
Also, the adult store, Vibrator Village, would also like to donate some baby oil and distribute free copies of Razzle to all present at the bout, and you can't say fairer than that!
As I speak, Davo and plech are currently getting their beauty sleep, and god knows they need it, in preparation for a big day ahead!
Here's to the big fight later, and here's to Vibrator Village, for all your adult needs! call Hull 658264 for a catalogue now!
ah bolloxDavo said:
fix, i say! ah well...if this season has taught us anything, the classiest competitors will go out early cheers babe! feeling very sorry for myselfPlechazunga said:
'kinellMelvinyeo said:Contestants:
they're rough looking! in all senses of the word!breaking news down here at Jacksons, laydees and genellmen...
I've just been approached by Melv, who offered me a free video clip of Liz's waterpump incident in exchange for the last ticket. I have now seen the said clip several times, showing Liz's slim, glistening thighs rising and falling on the said waterpump, her floating knickers, breasts bobbling, head thrown back, the momentary ecstacy that crosses her lips before the memory that she was in a fight returned and it is utterly disgraceful laydees and genellmen.
I have reported the matter to Hull's finest citing the obscene publications act and Melv has been duly arrested. Looks like he'll miss the Grand Finale.
Btw........Where's Davo, I hear you ask? Good point. Davo's repaired to a somewhat more salubrious hotel in Harrogate for the evening to rest and prepare for todays commentary. Last I heard he was putting the finishing touches to his post-fight speech, but was finding it just wouldn't scan.
I've just been approached by Melv, who offered me a free video clip of Liz's waterpump incident in exchange for the last ticket. I have now seen the said clip several times, showing Liz's slim, glistening thighs rising and falling on the said waterpump, her floating knickers, breasts bobbling, head thrown back, the momentary ecstacy that crosses her lips before the memory that she was in a fight returned and it is utterly disgraceful laydees and genellmen.
I have reported the matter to Hull's finest citing the obscene publications act and Melv has been duly arrested. Looks like he'll miss the Grand Finale.
Btw........Where's Davo, I hear you ask? Good point. Davo's repaired to a somewhat more salubrious hotel in Harrogate for the evening to rest and prepare for todays commentary. Last I heard he was putting the finishing touches to his post-fight speech, but was finding it just wouldn't scan.
I can assure you ladies and gentlemen, Melvinyeo is fine.
I have tickets, which I plan to flog off for a high price, and of course, leaving one for me.
Charlie's story, is of course, factitious and I will be in time for the finals.
Back to the original point of this post, anyone needs a ticket?
I have tickets, which I plan to flog off for a high price, and of course, leaving one for me.
Charlie's story, is of course, factitious and I will be in time for the finals.
Back to the original point of this post, anyone needs a ticket?
at the night's warm-up...great stuff...we're just waiting for the ref now...it's possible he's had a delayed haemorrhage after I nimbly kicked him in the head...sorry folks...Come on, start the show! Come on, start the show!
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Morning fight fans... looks like its been a busy night all round
And would you believe it? Hull has surely never seen scenes like this....there are crowds of people everywhere, and support for the two finalists appears to evenly divided. Late night for me following a boozy celebration of the tournaments success, followed by a late night visit from both finalists..so that we could...ahem...go over the rules again and that...
Anyway, you'll be delighted to hear that we have some very special guests attending today's fight..some top name premiership managers are here...and Eddie Gray has turned up an all...welcome gents, can I have a quick word about preceedings before we make our way to the arena - being of course the muddy banks of the Humberside..
" Dement...er...Sir Alex...both ladies are keen Man Utd fans, so they're probably not too keen on you at the moment...but have you got any advice you could give?"
-"Aye...the lassies should attack, try and get in close and then strike from close range"
-"How about defence, any advice there?"
-"I wouldn't know anything about that...."
-"Right....enjoy the fight...I've got you special seats right at the back...go on, feck off"
"Arsene...What were thoughts on the violent tactics utilised by both finalists in their semi heats?"
-"I did not zee zee incidents"
-"Ok, how do you think the final will go?"
-"I did not zee it"
-"It hasn't started yet"
-"I did not zee it"
"Go away Eddie..no you can't get in for free..feck off"
looks like its been a busy night all roundAnd would you believe it? Hull has surely never seen scenes like this....there are crowds of people everywhere, and support for the two finalists appears to evenly divided. Late night for me following a boozy celebration of the tournaments success, followed by a late night visit from both finalists..so that we could...ahem...go over the rules again and that...
Anyway, you'll be delighted to hear that we have some very special guests attending today's fight..some top name premiership managers are here...and Eddie Gray has turned up an all...welcome gents, can I have a quick word about preceedings before we make our way to the arena - being of course the muddy banks of the Humberside..
" Dement...er...Sir Alex...both ladies are keen Man Utd fans, so they're probably not too keen on you at the moment...but have you got any advice you could give?"
-"Aye...the lassies should attack, try and get in close and then strike from close range"
-"How about defence, any advice there?"
-"I wouldn't know anything about that...."
-"Right....enjoy the fight...I've got you special seats right at the back...go on, feck off"
"Arsene...What were thoughts on the violent tactics utilised by both finalists in their semi heats?"
-"I did not zee zee incidents"
-"Ok, how do you think the final will go?"
-"I did not zee it"
-"It hasn't started yet"
-"I did not zee it"
"Go away Eddie..no you can't get in for free..feck off"
*******NEWSFLASH*********
Word has just reached me from a close contact at the Beverley Chronicle, that our illustrious commentator is still currently in the A&E dept at Hull Infirmary. It transpired that after several hours on the keg with Redcharlie, Davo was slipped Rohypnol, and surgeons are still battling to remove Various long green objects from Davo's various orrafice's.
This reporter can only say that when Davo said he was "frozen to the marrow", I thought he was cold....
We'll bring you more as we have it
*****************************************************
Word has just reached me from a close contact at the Beverley Chronicle, that our illustrious commentator is still currently in the A&E dept at Hull Infirmary. It transpired that after several hours on the keg with Redcharlie, Davo was slipped Rohypnol, and surgeons are still battling to remove Various long green objects from Davo's various orrafice's.
This reporter can only say that when Davo said he was "frozen to the marrow", I thought he was cold....
We'll bring you more as we have it
*****************************************************
.....as the gleaming limos slowly make their way over the Humber Bridge a respectful silence pervades the crowdsf wellwishers. You can just about make out the girls wearing their silk blindfolds behind the darkened windows.........
***************NEWSFLASH*************
It looks like Davo is arriving after his veggie buggery on a little red courgette.
******************************************
It looks like Davo is arriving after his veggie buggery on a little red courgette.
******************************************
This is the scene outside the arena, and as you can see even people from Alabama have made it across the Atlantic to see this once in a lifetime match
Can I ask spectators to ignore Mr Jackson...well his head
He has been buried up to the neck in the Humber mud, and is a crucial part of an experiment to see how long it takes crabs to eat a grown man's head
He has been buried up to the neck in the Humber mud, and is a crucial part of an experiment to see how long it takes crabs to eat a grown man's head
We also have a guest appearance by Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas...
Before the fight she will be appearing in the arena dancing like she does in her new video..
This revelation has nothing to do with comic effect or anything other than the fact that I want to create the image in my head
Before the fight she will be appearing in the arena dancing like she does in her new video..
This revelation has nothing to do with comic effect or anything other than the fact that I want to create the image in my head
The crowd is now at fever pitch as Liz and Tine arrive at their arena...the noise reaches a crescendo as both girls step out of their transport..and the blindfolds are removed..they finally see the muddy banks where they will fight this one last battle...after acknowledging the crowds the dressing gowns are removed...
Liz has abandoned her old Mickey Mouse swimwear for a pearly number..which if anything, is even smaller....Tine has invested in a new flesh coloured affair, which looks as if it may well become transparent if wet...result
"The last time I saw such a big bunch of t1ts, was in my dressing room on Saturday" screams a distant Scottish voice....
Liz and Tine circle each raising their arms as the crowds cheer, before meeting the special guest...the Mayor of Hull....if indeed, such a position/person exists...if not, they don't do that last bit..
Meanwhile, Fergie ( the woman out of the BEP...not the Scottish rambler at the back ) is dancing around in the outfit from her new video...
Liz has abandoned her old Mickey Mouse swimwear for a pearly number..which if anything, is even smaller....Tine has invested in a new flesh coloured affair, which looks as if it may well become transparent if wet...result
"The last time I saw such a big bunch of t1ts, was in my dressing room on Saturday" screams a distant Scottish voice....
Liz and Tine circle each raising their arms as the crowds cheer, before meeting the special guest...the Mayor of Hull....if indeed, such a position/person exists...if not, they don't do that last bit..
Meanwhile, Fergie ( the woman out of the BEP...not the Scottish rambler at the back ) is dancing around in the outfit from her new video...
The crowds inch forward on the muddy banks, respectfully quiet now, as from the back a Frenchman, bearing a striking resemblance to Lestor Piggott, is heard to bemoan: I can zee nossing!
Meanwhile, another Frenchman across the way is seen to have a heart attack at arms being raised aloft, as if in victory!
Meanwhile, another Frenchman across the way is seen to have a heart attack at arms being raised aloft, as if in victory!
redcharlie said:
cnut.
A deathly hush. (Save only the slight rustling of bikini tops swinging in the breeze...)
The combatants face off; they are almost touching (though their arms are by their sides and their faces are a good half a yard apart...)
You could slice this silence like a ripe, plump, juicy melon
Liz squelches her foot slightly in the mud, like an irate rhino pawing the ground...but with bigger tits...
Tine stands firm like a Landrover with the handbrake on...and the airbag inflated...
May the bre...best woman win!
Davo.
The combatants face off; they are almost touching (though their arms are by their sides and their faces are a good half a yard apart...)
You could slice this silence like a ripe, plump, juicy melon
Liz squelches her foot slightly in the mud, like an irate rhino pawing the ground...but with bigger tits...
Tine stands firm like a Landrover with the handbrake on...and the airbag inflated...
May the bre...best woman win!
Davo.
Plechazunga said:
Funny as feckFergie dances around, she's dancing for me..no one else, I can see it in her eyes......she's now doing that funny thing where she slaps her feet....christ, can she move or what...I think I love....hang on...Tine has come flying past me landing face first in the mud...with Liz following to put the boot in! How long has the feckin fight been going on???? Why wasn't I informed......
Tine dodges to the side and Liz loses her balance...her semi-naked figure squelching down into the Humber's watery mud bank...Tine is on top of within seconds...slapping and wrestling away, causing Liz to cry out with frustration...her advantage gone...Divine cries out support for Liz, Rams has sneaked off for a smoke - the pressure's too much for the Dutch nonsense speaker...
The dim people of Hull scream and shout in delight as the girls swap blows, whilst becoming further and further caked in mud...its hard to tell whose who for the untrained eye...luckily, your commentator has had the foresight to examine every inch of the contestants and can keep abreast of things....hehehe....abreast
SLAP, Liz goes for her knock out weapon but Tine ducks...before charging her opponent...sending them both skidding down the banks towards the Humber's cold waters....
Tine dodges to the side and Liz loses her balance...her semi-naked figure squelching down into the Humber's watery mud bank...Tine is on top of within seconds...slapping and wrestling away, causing Liz to cry out with frustration...her advantage gone...Divine cries out support for Liz, Rams has sneaked off for a smoke - the pressure's too much for the Dutch nonsense speaker...
The dim people of Hull scream and shout in delight as the girls swap blows, whilst becoming further and further caked in mud...its hard to tell whose who for the untrained eye...luckily, your commentator has had the foresight to examine every inch of the contestants and can keep abreast of things....hehehe....abreast
SLAP, Liz goes for her knock out weapon but Tine ducks...before charging her opponent...sending them both skidding down the banks towards the Humber's cold waters....
And well...bloody hell eh! Writhing, mudcaked limbs and haunches, winding, grappling, straddling each other, biting and scratching, heaving and panting wet-haired combatants locked together, and one of the Humber's resident eels now slithering through their slippery embrace...in my opinion this is the very essence of all-girl semi-naked mudwrestling...in Hull...
Davo.
Davo.
Titslap'r Liz!Come on Liz! Go on, girl!
Tine drags Liz out of the Humber by the hair...before kneeing her sharply in the head, sending her crashing to the floor....
Tine turns to acknowledge the cheers of the crowd - and I was right...she may as well not have that bikini on...the cheers increased tenfold
But Liz isn't as badly hurt as Tine thought, she's up on her feet...Tine hasn't noticed....CRACK, a powerful blow from Liz knocks Tine off her feet....and now she's got hold of her by her bikini briefs.....its a WEDGIE.....christ..that looks painful....Tine is screaming in agony...will she concede defeat? ....No, she's refusing to submit...frustrated Liz sends her crashing to the floor...using the moment to acknowledge her own fans with a quick flash.....what a girl..
Tine's back on her feet and has got Liz in one of those huddle things that boxers do when they're knackered....both girls are fighting on instinct here...the blows look half hearted....
Who will find that extra burst of energy to take the spoils?
Tine turns to acknowledge the cheers of the crowd - and I was right...she may as well not have that bikini on...the cheers increased tenfold
But Liz isn't as badly hurt as Tine thought, she's up on her feet...Tine hasn't noticed....CRACK, a powerful blow from Liz knocks Tine off her feet....and now she's got hold of her by her bikini briefs.....its a WEDGIE.....christ..that looks painful....Tine is screaming in agony...will she concede defeat? ....No, she's refusing to submit...frustrated Liz sends her crashing to the floor...using the moment to acknowledge her own fans with a quick flash.....what a girl..
Tine's back on her feet and has got Liz in one of those huddle things that boxers do when they're knackered....both girls are fighting on instinct here...the blows look half hearted....
Who will find that extra burst of energy to take the spoils?
This is nail biting stuff
But the result is going to be out soon, so
But the result is going to be out soon, so
Come on guys.........your starting to look like prawn sandwich brigade. Show some support for the gals, here! C'mon Liz!
I'll go against redcharlie.
Come on Tine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come on Tine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blimey, things are getting hectic...just as it seemed the fight had run out of steam, who goes and loses their footing but Fergie, top off for the occasion, who's gone sliding down the slippery mudflap and crashed into the combatants, sending all of them into a sodden heap on the floor...who is who...oh and here comes ref/commentator Davo, shouting something about 'splitting them up' and 'submitting to his authority immediately'...and he's grabbed Fergie by the arse, seems to be clamping himself to Fergie's wet erect nipples, and Fergie's shouting something about 'Gonnae feck ye up Jimmy' is it? Hard to hear from this distance, but anyway, Fergie's certainly being dragged from the combat zone by a flustered, panting Davo...
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