If you could have 1 minute with the players, what would your team talk be?

[DeGea]

Imagine it's pre-season.

First day back for training.

You have 1 opportunity to say something to the players to motivate them on behalf of the fans, what would you say?

I would probably say "We need to knock the lot of them off their fecking perch!"

Go..

 

[Regulus Arcturus Black]

“Ash, Chris, you’re on the bench.”

 

[Moriarty]

So Phil, any chance you can move that wheelchair and let me get through? You too Eric. Rom, do you have to use that inhaler in here? Anyone know what time Paul's getting here? I was hoping to have Sir Alex down here to impart a few words of wisdom but he thinks it's a waste of fecking time and went off for a glass of vino with Pep. All right then. Show of hands. Is everybody happy?

 

[charlenefan]

All of you... feck off

Might not be motivational but it's what I'd want to say to them

 

[DeGea]

So Phil, any chance you can move that wheelchair and let me get through? You too Eric. Rom, do you have to use that inhaler in here? Anyone know what time Paul's getting here? I was hoping to have Sir Alex down here to impart a few words of wisdom but he thinks it's a waste of fecking time and went off for a glass of vino with Pep. All right then. Show of hands. Is everybody happy?

 

[Ekeke]

"If you dont play well in this match, I'll sell you to Mourinho's team as soon as he takes over a new one"

 

[el3mel]

I'll insult them and leave.

 

[simonhch]

I'm glad you cnuts are wearing shin pads, because you're about to feel my wrath.

 

[klayton88]

 

[diarm]

Scott, Marcus, Dave, Ander, Angel, Tahith, James, Victor, Diogo, Mason and Eric - please go stand outside.

...

Now the rest of you. Feck off and find another club to play for. We don't want you here anymore.

 

[Gator Nate]

So Phil, any chance you can move that wheelchair and let me get through? You too Eric. Rom, do you have to use that inhaler in here? Anyone know what time Paul's getting here? I was hoping to have Sir Alex down here to impart a few words of wisdom but he thinks it's a waste of fecking time and went off for a glass of vino with Pep. All right then. Show of hands. Is everybody happy?

Um, you win the board today.

 

[BrianMcClair'sBarnet]

Jones,I like your style.

 

[Kostur]

'Here's some envelopes I've stolen from the post office. In some of them, I've put your names and in some of them, I've taken a shit, don't be deceived by the brown stains however. I've put your names there because I know you'll have disowned me three times before the cock crows. Also remember to never plug in toaster while you're bathing.'

 

[DeGea]

This is how it should be

 

[Bwuk]

I’d fart and then leave the room.

 

[The Hacker]

Jones, gimme those incriminating photos you obviously have on all of us.

 

[Katalinski]

I would beat the feckin bread inside them (Bosnian expression).

 

[edcunited1878]

I'd show them a video clip of the Munich Air Disaster and tell them this isn't about you or me. This is about the club, the supporters and those that made real sacrifices which have allowed you to have this opportunity moving forward.

You may not be the most talented right now or the smartest, but playing for each other, playing for the supporters and giving your best every single day is all we can expect from you as a professional person/footballer who represents all that is Manchester United. Together, day by day, month by month, however long that may be, we will continue to improve to the point of achieving our goals (i.e. glory) that makes our families and those associated with Manchester United Football Club proud. It is a responsibility that requires the mental strength, sacrifice, will, self-belief/pride/determination. We're not in this alone or individually. We're in this together, we hold ourselves accountable to each other and to millions of people around the world. And there are also millions of people around the world who are laughing at us, having a grand time at our failures. To them, I say feck you. feck you. feck you. (say feck you 20xs in relation to 20 league titles).

For those counting and for those who cannot count that high (Phil Jones makes a face), that's 20 feck yous...one for each league title. We want to say feck you a 21st time at the end of the season. This will be hard. This will be ugly at times but ultimately, it will be rewarding if we do what we are capable of doing as a group every. single. day. The fecking starts now.

 

[DeGea]

I would beat the feckin bread inside them (Bosnian expression).

What does this mean? Care to explain? Interesting..

 

[DeGea]

I'd show them a video clip of the Munich Air Disaster and tell them this isn't about you or me. This is about the club, the supporters and those that made real sacrifices which have allowed you to have this opportunity moving forward.

You may not be the most talented right now or the smartest, but playing for each other, playing for the supporters and giving your best every single day is all we can expect from you as a professional person/footballer who represents all that is Manchester United. Together, day by day, month by month, however long that may be, we will continue to improve to the point of achieving our goals (i.e. glory) that makes our families and those associated with Manchester United Football Club proud. It is a responsibility that requires the mental strength, sacrifice, will, self-belief/pride/determination. We're not in this alone or individually. We're in this together, we hold ourselves accountable to each other and to millions of people around the world. And there are also millions of people around the world who are laughing at us, having a grand time at our failures. To them, I say feck you. feck you. feck you. (say feck you 20xs in relation to 20 league titles).

For those counting and for those who cannot count that high (Phil Jones makes a face), that's 20 feck yous...one for each league title. We want to say feck you a 21st time at the end of the season. This will be hard. This will be ugly at times but ultimately, it will be rewarding if we do what we are capable of doing as a group every. single. day. The fecking starts now.

I want to play for you! Braveheart moment right there.

 

[Irwin99]

You're at Manchester United. You're at probably the only big club in the world that wouldn't boo you off the pitch like you deserve. Appreciate that you spineless c****.

 

[The holy trinity 68]

Imagine it's pre-season.

First day back for training.

You have 1 opportunity to say something to the players to motivate them on behalf of the fans, what would you say?

I would probably say "We need to knock the lot of them off their fecking perch!"

Go..

Last time I checked we were still the most successful club in England. That and we have 20 League titles, more than any club. That’s what the perch is which SAF referred to.

 

[The Nani]

 

[Amadaeus]

Spoiler

I will give an eulogy to all the bad characters that would leave similar to Jon snow and motivate the current players that we should not die like them.

 

[Random Task]

I'd show them a video clip of the Munich Air Disaster and tell them this isn't about you or me. This is about the club, the supporters and those that made real sacrifices which have allowed you to have this opportunity moving forward.

You may not be the most talented right now or the smartest, but playing for each other, playing for the supporters and giving your best every single day is all we can expect from you as a professional person/footballer who represents all that is Manchester United. Together, day by day, month by month, however long that may be, we will continue to improve to the point of achieving our goals (i.e. glory) that makes our families and those associated with Manchester United Football Club proud. It is a responsibility that requires the mental strength, sacrifice, will, self-belief/pride/determination. We're not in this alone or individually. We're in this together, we hold ourselves accountable to each other and to millions of people around the world. And there are also millions of people around the world who are laughing at us, having a grand time at our failures. To them, I say feck you. feck you. feck you. (say feck you 20xs in relation to 20 league titles).

For those counting and for those who cannot count that high (Phil Jones makes a face), that's 20 feck yous...one for each league title. We want to say feck you a 21st time at the end of the season. This will be hard. This will be ugly at times but ultimately, it will be rewarding if we do what we are capable of doing as a group every. single. day. The fecking starts now.

Sack Ole, recruit edcunited1878.

Let the good times roll.

 

[hobbers]

"Ash, Phil, Chris, JLingz or whatever the feck you're calling yourself these days, Tony1, Nemanja, Marcus, Rom, Alexis, Juan, Eric: Cheers for sticking around lads, but you're not wanted here. There's a coach out back ready to take you to whatever backwater football team you belong at. Tara."


"Pogboy, Tony2 and Rashy: you're not even remotely as good as you all think you are. Stop embarrassing yourselves, first try to grow a spine and then a pair. Oh, and if I see any of you standing still or walking around out there your Instagram accounts are getting deleted"

 

[Billy Blaggs]

 

[kouroux]

I'd tell them to subscribe to the caf and read what the fans think of them

 

[edcunited1878]

I want to play for you! Braveheart moment right there.

Sack Ole, recruit edcunited1878.

Let the good times roll.

A little serious from my end lads! However, it's how I really feel about the club and what it means. I like many of you have been given great joy, out of body experiences and life long friends because of a fecking football club. That's what sport brings. But when you become attached to the club and truly understand that people, not only footballers, but fecking people/humans literally died then people literally picked up their bodies and continued to play on for them.

It must fecking pain Sir Bobby and Sir Alex seeing the apathy of some of the players the past few years. Have some fecking pride as professional footballer for the club you're playing for and who/what you're fecking representing. If you lose site of that for too long, you're done IMO. At this club, you are absolutely done.

It should be a requirement for all new first team players, youth or transferred, to visit the Munich Air Disaster site in Munich with some entourage of people who represent the club and a family member or two of someone who died. Give them that raw sense of what it means to play for this club.

 

[BlueHaze]

"Phil, Halloween is over, take the fecking mask off"

 

[Snowjoe]

I’d go full Ramsey

When addressing the whole team

Addressing our central defenders

Addressing Lukaku

On Rojo and his tackling

To the midfield

To Phil Jones

To everyone not picked

 

[starman]

*First day back for pre season

"Ashley, Alexis, Eric, Marco, Phil, Romelu...Wtf
are you guys doing here? didn't you get my memo?"

 

[Pexbo]

“Ash, Chris, you’re on the bench.”

Christ that’s an awkward 58 seconds.

 

[R'hllor]

"Good morning guys, hope you all recharged your batteries, God knows you deserved to get a rest"
"Axel, Chong, Greenwood, Gomes (and some others), please step away from of the group"
"Rest of you, get your agents on the phones, dont ever wanna see you again"

 

[Lebo]

Those who aren’t willing to go for the league and champions league must pack and go. We are using emails now not fax. You are all getting a pay cut and excuse yourself if you don’t disagree

 

[Walters_19_MuFc]

Christ that’s an awkward 58 seconds.

 

[Mr Pigeon]

We are United.

In agreement over how shit you all are. Get fecked.

 

[Roger100449]

Imagine it's pre-season.

First day back for training.

You have 1 opportunity to say something to the players to motivate them on behalf of the fans, what would you say?

I would probably say "We need to knock the lot of them off their fecking perch!"

Go..

I've been a paramedic for twenty years. I may even have attended to some of your relatives, I might have to do in the future, but every single time that I have a shout, I have to be totally focused and right on top of my game, because if I'm not, if I'm a bit off the pace, if I'm not feeling as though I want to put the effort in, .......then someone could die, - and it could be someone old or young that is very special to you. You are absolutely entitled to expect nothing less than that total commitment from me. I don't earn a lot. I can't afford to come to every game, but when I do come and pay my spare hard earned spare cash, - what do you think I'm entitled to? - I'm only asking for ninety minutes, is that beyond your capabilities, - now get out there and do it, fight for it as if a kids life depended on it.

 

[Snafu17]

Get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it's together.

 

[Random Task]

A little serious from my end lads! However, it's how I really feel about the club and what it means. I like many of you have been given great joy, out of body experiences and life long friends because of a fecking football club. That's what sport brings. But when you become attached to the club and truly understand that people, not only footballers, but fecking people/humans literally died then people literally picked up their bodies and continued to play on for them.

It must fecking pain Sir Bobby and Sir Alex seeing the apathy of some of the players the past few years. Have some fecking pride as professional footballer for the club you're playing for and who/what you're fecking representing. If you lose site of that for too long, you're done IMO. At this club, you are absolutely done.

It should be a requirement for all new first team players, youth or transferred, to visit the Munich Air Disaster site in Munich with some entourage of people who represent the club and a family member or two of someone who died. Give them that raw sense of what it means to play for this club.

I would have said something along the lines of "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate every last overpaid, underworked one of you. 'Cept for you, Scott. I'm diggin' your shizzle."

Your way probably would have been more effective, though.

 

[edcunited1878]

I would have said something along the lines of "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate every last overpaid, underworked one of you. 'Cept for you, Scott. I'm diggin' your shizzle."

Your way probably would have been more effective, though.