Michael Owen has always been a cringe monster
- Thread starter Murder on Zidane's Floor
- Start date
I don't think anyone does, including doctors. Owen is just built different.
Maybe he's got a condition whereby he only feels truly happy when people are laughing at him? Not with.
POV you're an apple in the back of a helicopter.
Autistic.
Well, he's not OUR cringe monster.
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He's probably the same. The apple doesn't fall far from the TV.
Also: why did his dickhead dad encourage him?
He’s a cringe monster to everyone. He’s a gift that keeps on coming.
Good one
So many great people have an apple story. Adam and Eve. Isaac Newton. Oppenheimer. Michael Owen.
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POV you're an apple in the back of a helicopter.
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I cried.
"When we were in training, I used to do a lot of tricks which hardly any players at the club could do. Once I was showing my skills to Owen. After I finished, Owen took an apple core and pointed to a bin which was about 5m from where we were standing. He said, I’m going to hit it in one throw. He threw it and got it in the bin. He asked me to do the same; I threw an apple core about 10 times, but still couldn’t hit it, with that accuracy. He smiled and left." - Cristiano Ronaldo
This is up there with Plech's bible post!
"I saw Michael Owen at a Mercadona in Madrid one time. I told him how cool it was to that he was a Madrid player, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and waste his time or anything.
He said," Oh, like you're doing now?
I was taken aback, and all I could say was" Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going" huh? huh? huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen apples in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the apples and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any electrical infetterence," and then turned around and winked at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each apple and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly." - R9
Calm down
Like Banksy, a modern answer to Michelangelo.
I remember this getting ripped to pieces on here back in the day!
Also too many
worthy posts in this thread to credit them all without spammingIs he really as stupid as he appears? Is there some chance it's performance art? He seems so very, very stupid.
Articulate. Michael Owen. It's still a bitter memory that he played for us, even if he did score that brilliant stoppage time winner against City. feck him, though.
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I think Cool is my favourite.
Clean & Fresh is not far behind.
Presumably if he was sat in front of the TV most evenings, he'd have to factor in the likelihood of films being on the tele.
Jokes on you Mrs Owen - he secretly wanted to be sent to his room.
Jokes on you Mrs Owen - he secretly wanted to be sent to his room.
I kinda wish he got into management just to see how badly he'd f**k it up. He's weirdly embarrassing and seems to lack any self awareness.
the parodies of this are maybe the first thread i ever saw on redcafe
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Michael Owen at last nights SPOTY awards talking about the time he threw a dart at someone … and hit them, but they should have moved apparently
https://x.com/hitcsevens/status/1737475387133706468?s=61&t=ZvGzfV2Qafn11jKrPfufuA
https://x.com/hitcsevens/status/1737475387133706468?s=61&t=ZvGzfV2Qafn11jKrPfufuA
That nod of approval Such bravery
Such braveryDad, dad, dad, DAD, did you see it?
So confident, so brave.
What a strange, strange person.
Anyone else think he's secretly taking the piss and just pretending to be a caricature of himself?
Nah, I’ve met him. He’s a dick
I wouldn’t mind so much but it’s taken me years to get over the time he laughed at me for not saving (all) his penalties.
Good job Southall was there to stick up for me
