poster origins

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rimaldo

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hectic - hectic is not a real person. he does not exist in a body. he is not human. hectic is more a way of thinking. hectic is more a life choice. hectic is the embodiment of philosophy. he can never die and will live on forever. born into a world of hatred this epitome of all that is good decided a change was due. he decided to cleanse the world of the putrid evil that stagnated in its very core. change was going to come as claims one of his most loyal disciples, a change he was going to spread throughout the lands with the rot. the institution was born. for the institution to reach its goals hectic would need a strong man. a man capable of delivering his rot in body form, a man able to spread it’s healing. unfortunately no such man could be found and he had to make do with the tramp who was jabbering away to himself behind the bins. hectic. a way of thinking.
 

Man Utd Mrs

We all love our MUM
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fishfingers15 - you know the kid you went to school with? he'd be about 15. always said he got loads of action and lost his virginity at 7 to a swedish supermodel whilst he was holidaying there with his family? fishfinger had a sheltered upbringing. home by half 5 for din dins and tucked up in bed by 7 so he was bright and ready for his studies the next day. for a while his two friends tolerated his wild, fabricated tales of sex with the two twins who lived next door to him yet no one ever saw or the extreme amount of vag he regularly got on nights out despite spending all his spare time doing homework or watching soaps with his mum. this was until they both got girlfriends and spoke of the intimate moments they shared with them. over the next few weeks he gleaned various bits of information from them and slowly built up a library of things he could do to be more convincing with his stories. one such juicy bit of information lead him to tesco's. he brought a month’s supply of fresh fish and every night and for an hour before school he'd stroke it with one of his hands and prod into its body with his fingers. this helped him win over his doubters and made his story of fingering one of the teachers behind the bike sheds more creditable. he may be on the caf now yes. but you can guarantee he's thinking of more elaborate stories to convince people he's a stud yet always wondering just why it is girls don't like him.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 

rimaldo

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Just checked your 'About me' page rim,

Demi-God - Co-Founder of The Institution Of Rot Revolution.

:lol:

I knew you wouldn't forget.
i'd never forget it. i've done your one and it's slightly different to everyone else’s as a brother you are to me. a rot brother yes but a brother nonetheless.
 

Collina

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collina - bald, italian referee and shining beacon of hope to rednome that a bald man can in fact still lead a normal life and be worthy of his existence and place in society. really simple yes? no. in reality it was not the bald headed, whistle blowing card loving italian that was being heralded when collina joined redcafe no. it was a heat magazine loving, cross dressing, dyslexic man who loved nothing more than rushing out to the shops the moment he woke up on thursdays to buy heat magazine and read up about the latest zany shopping escapades of her favourite wag, coleen rooney. unfortunately his crippling learning difficulties, dyslexia and raging homosexuality led him to make a rather ill-fated typo and ever since collina has claimed to be a fan of the bald ref to avoid mockery. in truth he sits at home wearing women’s clothes and dreaming that one day he’ll be as pretty as coleen.
You really are a funny wanker. :lol:
 

RedNome

Cnut Rating: 9 (Conservative)
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collina - bald, italian referee and shining beacon of hope to rednome that a bald man can in fact still lead a normal life and be worthy of his existence and place in society. really simple yes? no. in reality it was not the bald headed, whistle blowing card loving italian that was being heralded when collina joined redcafe no. it was a heat magazine loving, cross dressing, dyslexic man who loved nothing more than rushing out to the shops the moment he woke up on thursdays to buy heat magazine and read up about the latest zany shopping escapades of her favourite wag, coleen rooney. unfortunately his crippling learning difficulties, dyslexia and raging homosexuality led him to make a rather ill-fated typo and ever since collina has claimed to be a fan of the bald ref to avoid mockery. in truth he sits at home wearing women’s clothes and dreaming that one day he’ll be as pretty as coleen.
:lol:

You make me proud Rimmy.
 

rimaldo

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lewstherin - a hard username to analyse and look into. that is until you look past its current arrangement and place the letters how they were originally intended to be written. "hitler news" lewstherin, a master of nazi propaganda. a bilious hun spouting the words of a long dead leader and ruthless political party. some say he is the reincarnation of goebbels. others say he’s just ginger. either way he is feared by normal people and unpopular with the ladies. quite how he has managed to infiltrate in to main stream society and post his anti-semitic views under the radar of all on here is quite astounding. will he ever stop banging on about the third reich? probably not. will any one of his posts ever not spite the jews? i doubt it. lewstherin. master of subliminal messaging. nazi.
 

rimaldo

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Not too bad son, just got over the dreaded pig flu, not sure what all the fuss is about, it ain't all that :keano:
glad the pig flu didn't turn you into a pig as is my understaning of the disease. i'd imagine the women go crazy for a man who survived swine flu.
 

Rood

nostradamus like gloater
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:lol: just read the whole thread - best laughs Ive had from the General in a long while!
 

RedNome

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glad the pig flu didn't turn you into a pig as is my understaning of the disease. i'd imagine the women go crazy for a man who survived swine flu.
Aye, the missus has become a right mental case, strange side effect it has to be said.
 

rimaldo

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the caveman - does exactly what it says on the tin. harking back to a forgotten age this missing link dwells in the outskirts of the pennines, inhabiting caves and feasting upon the carcasses of vanquished sabre toothed tigers. sabre toothed tigers to him anyway, they are actually beloved cats from local families. with a limited vocabulary of grunts and groans dell computers saw fit to employ this imbecilic troglodyte as a phone technician to deal with the concerns, complaints and technical queries of its customers. this gained him a limited grasp of computers and since has had broadband set up in one of his many caves and has found home in the caf. some say one day he will discover fire and invent the wheel. others say he just lives the life of a caveman as he wants the excuse to dress up in his mums leopard print leotard.
 

rimaldo

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gaz – born in the victorian period this poor orphan of scottish descent was left on the steps of a workhouse after numerous failed back street abortions had left him alive but with a slightly scrambled brain. slower than all the other children gaz slowly learnt to sweep chimneys and learnt to clean the complex machinery used at t’mill. he was the millers favourite worker. his inbred background was key to this. most of the other workers would lose a finger or two and a thumb and their productivity and output would diminish greatly. this was no such problem for gaz. a wealth of fingers and toes, too many to count, always ensured he had enough digits to complete the task at hand. soon he would follow his estranged mother into the family business and began whoring himself out at night but just couldn’t bring himself to charge the victorian gents for the sex he so enjoyed. an example to us all. that just because you are brought into this world with no one really loving or caring for you, you can still make something of your life. and by make something of your life i do of course mean have degrading monkey sex with men from a period consigned to the history books.
 

Flying Fox

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flying fox - an australian vigilante. he's out there at night, rummaging through bins looking for discarded tampons and soiled panties. all vital clues he feels will lead him to discover the true identity of the sydney drug lord he wishes to catch. the drug lord who probably doesn't exist but the flying fox needs a reason to hoard used tampons. night after night this ginger prince dresses up in a batman-esque costume made from bin liners and used takeaway containers. he calls himself the flying fox. he only speaks about himself in the third person and only ventures out during the day to watch his aussie counterparts fail at cricket. fail miserably i might add. the flying fox. here on the caf for more insight into the sydney drug lord. tapping away on the keyboard with fingers encased in dry vag blood.
FFS!!! :lol::lol::lol:

(I'm from Adelaide btw, a bit further south west from Sydney)

Still, brilliant :lol:
 

rimaldo

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count duckula - a cartoon vampire from yesteryear, or so he'd have us believe. cartoons aren't real and as such cannot post on an internet forum. the real origin behind the count is a strapping eastern european hunk named igor that is currently engaged to be civil ceremonied to the count. count duckula is the pet name igor has bestowed upon him. much cleaner and smoother than the initial "man i sexing with to get enteries to visa uk" as he was once affectionately known. count d has been unavailable for comment and has not left the house since his polish import arrived in the uk. howls of delight fill the night skies around his house and he has been known to suck on the neck of igor many times. kids tell stories about the count and his beloved igor at sleepovers and many daren't go near his house.
 

rimaldo

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mum – born in a land made of sweets and chocolate it was inevitable that mum would turn out to be sweet too. her kindness and warmth has been felt by many and she’s always there with a caring word or two when it’s needed. she tolerates the meek and helps the mild. a regular modern day florence nightingale. stories lead us to believe that not only is mum sweet and kind she looks like anna friel. if that is the case i’d like to be the first to ask her to marry me. failing that i’d be extremely happy just to cop a bit of a feel. mum. sweet, kind, caring and possibly looks like anna friel though this has yet to be verified by a team of scientists ratified in the field of anna friel lookalikes. i wish all mums were like that.
 

rimaldo

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sparky19 - some say a tribute to the curly haired one currently waiting for the last rites to be read to him at city. others say an electrician. most know it to be a bit of a joke set up by his carers. for sparky is a slow child and he's most certainly not a bright spark. needing 24 hour a day care sparky is nothing but a drain and a burden to all those around him. they have numerous other nicknames for him too. some think they're affectionate. others not so much. you be the judge. he's also called "baby penis", "the anti-clunge" and "retard". at the age of 15 sparky learnt his first two words. they were "bum" and "sex". he still only knows these two words to this day and grew weary of people looking down on him when he did so on the street or in shops. they he discovered the gays. he could say it as much as he liked around them and they all cheered loudly and congratulated him but unfortunately then all took it in turns to have a ride on poor sparks. who was too slow to work out he was being gang raped until it had all finished. sparky a bit slow, very gay.
 

iSparky

Likes Dags. but not as much as his Dad
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sparky19 - some say a tribute to the curly haired one currently waiting for the last rites to be read to him at city. others say an electrician. most know it to be a bit of a joke set up by his carers. for sparky is a slow child and he's most certainly not a bright spark. needing 24 hour a day care sparky is nothing but a drain and a burden to all those around him. they have numerous other nicknames for him too. some think they're affectionate. others not so much. you be the judge. he's also called "baby penis", "the anti-clunge" and "retard". at the age of 15 sparky learnt his first two words. they were "bum" and "sex". he still only knows these two words to this day and grew weary of people looking down on him when he did so on the street or in shops. they he discovered the gays. he could say it as much as he liked around them and they all cheered loudly and congratulated him but unfortunately then all took it in turns to have a ride on poor sparks. who was too slow to work out he was being gang raped until it had all finished. sparky a bit slow, very gay.
:lol::lol:

brilliant stuff!
 

rimaldo

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tumbling-dice - a lover of chance based games? a homage to vegas? or a dreadful typo? some claim that it's not tumbling-dice that we read when we see it. that was not it's original intention. for tumbling-dice is in fact a filthy rice queen. he been to bangkok and back home again many times. he's had many a thai husband mail ordered over here and many a one sent back for not being appropriately proportioned or being useless with household appliances or clumsy with their hands and mouth. fumbling-rice is his real name. some claim it was fumbling-rice who coined the phrase "gaysian" others say girish beat him to it years ago but who really cares? there's no winner in a battle of these two gays. just one loser. society.
 
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