Richard Keys: The Ramblings of a Madman

[.Rossi]

Some loons here will believe it.

Hired Loons?!

 

[JohnnyKills]

My two recent favourite cousin Richard moments

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Defending such a thing in the 21st century is bad enough but, acting like he's the world's insider into the matter is hilarious. "I will update you all" He's such a cnut that I find it hilarious

cousin Richard

 

[ivaldo]

Stellar English.

What's worse is that after posting this he's corrected someone else's spelling on a tweet!

 

[JohnnyKills]

He also appears to have become a spokesperson for the Qatari royal family, given he retweeted this:

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And then there's this:

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[Aporkalypse]

Wouldn't trust Keys to tell me the weather in Qatar, never mind the human rights situation.

 

[Welsh Wonder]

He also appears to have become a spokesperson for the Qatari royal family, given he retweeted this:

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And then there's this:

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Christ, Bilbo Blatter looking well.

 

[Loon]

@Loon

Yeah, I believe it. ....Believe what?

 

[Bubz27]

Yeah, I believe it. ....Believe what?

The OP.

 

[WhoDaGOAT]

I think this rumoured hold that Fergie has over his ex players is a concern. He's still influencing things behind the scenes, which is not good. He had his time.

Of course Keyes could be talking shite, but I have no doubt that Ferguson is behind the anti-Mourinho brigade, and used Scholes and Rio to bury the knife in LvG that time.

 

[Loon]

The OP.

"Keysie" and I can call him Keysie, because we're tight, is the soothsayer of our age.

 

[Lawman]

I think this rumoured hold that Fergie has over his ex players is a concern. He's still influencing things behind the scenes, which is not good. He had his time.

Of course Keyes could be talking shite, but I have no doubt that Ferguson is behind the anti-Mourinho brigade, and used Scholes and Rio to bury the knife in LvG that time.

Yep agree i think in fact i have no doubt Fergie is also behind the Donald Trump campain and the drop in oil prices plus the shooting of poor old Cyril the lion.

 

[.Rossi]

Yep agree i think in fact i have no doubt Fergie is also behind the Donald Trump campain and the drop in oil prices plus the shooting of poor old Cyril the lion.

His brother Jericho, who is also a Lion, survived

 

[Bubz27]

"Keysie" and I can call him Keysie, because we're tight, is the soothsayer of our age.

You're even beginning to talk like him.

 

[Lawman]

His brother Jericho, who is also a Lion, survived

Dont worry im sure Fergie will speak to Becks or Butt and have the on the case...

 

[Lawman]

Keysie (cant abide the man) but he is spot on about Nev taking DDG to task and giving Hart an easy ride.But the rest just shows how much a tosser he is so glad he is off our TV set.

 

[bubbles_]

His whole Twitter and online persona is of a fecking loser who posts pictures of himself with his "mates" online to make himself look popular when everyone knows in real life he has no mates. It's desperately sad.

 

[.Rossi]

Keysie (cant abide the man) but he is spot on about Nev taking DDG to task and giving Hart an easy ride.But the rest just shows how much a tosser he is so glad he is off our TV set.

It was disgraceful tbh. I remember Neville done an interview with Noel Gallagher before the derby last year and Gallagher said he'd have De Gea over Hart and Neville couldn't believe it. "Over Joe Hart?!?!" he said with disbelief....Shocking

 

[Chesterlestreet]

Imagine accidentally strolling past that pair. You'd die instantaneously from pure cuntishness.

Spoiler: Odious

 

[.Rossi]

Sexism....Hilarious and well deserved

 

[rimaldo]

In 2012 Richard Keys and Andy Gray received the best sports programme prize for their talkSPORT show at the Sony Radio Academy Awards (equivalent to the radio Oscars). He has also received a variety of best sports presenter awards from different publications.

Except it's British rather than American and has about 0.00001% of the global recognition.

i refuse to recognise them until leo wins one.

 

[rimaldo]

The rest is just utterly bitter. "I've heard it said by some big names in the past that Gary Neville is a "gayface cripple paedo nazi". Do I subscribe to that view? No. And I'm not just saying that because I'm legally obliged to. Though I will say that Andy Gray was never caught molesting himself in the pet toys section of Poundland. Good on you, Gaz. Give it a couple of pulls for me."

 

[SteveJ]

Keys' blog post about meeting Blatter:

A Most Unusual Weekend

I had to laugh. I posted the picture of me and Sepp Blatter - stood back and waited for the very predictable reaction! I remember my science teacher telling me, many years ago of course, 'empty vessels make the most noise'. How true.

The chance to sit down with Blatter was too good to turn down. I had no idea what to expect, or even if he would turn up at his favourite restaurant in Zurich, as arranged. I'd flown a long way for this - even missed a Cup Final - but I needn't have worried. At exactly 10am in he strode, bright as a button.

He had a coffee - I had a cup of English breakfast tea - of course! Ten minutes later we were deep in conversation. That's exactly what I wanted - simply to converse with the guy. Setting out to beat him up wasn't going to get me far. He's straight batted questions back to where they've come from much better operators than me.

In fairness, he spoke really well, and by the time we'd finished I'd really warmed to him, which isn't what the English football fan want to hear! He's a charmer.

You'll pick up bits from the interview somewhere in the world I'm sure, so I won't go into what was said, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I enjoyed my time with him. He's a fascinating guy.

http://richardajkeys.com/richards-blog/entry/a-most-unusual-w-e

 

[Loon]

You're even beginning to talk like him.

 

[Welsh Wonder]

Keys' blog post about meeting Blatter:



http://richardajkeys.com/richards-blog/entry/a-most-unusual-w-e

I genuinely love hairy hands' posts. Find them enthralling.

 

[SteveJ]

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard by now that my great mate Andy & I exclusively interviewed Adolf Hitler last week. Admittedly, the great man (not me - Adolf) was rather quiet and not too keen to discuss the 'military situation' but I can assure you all that he has a bright future ahead of him. As for Mrs Hitler...very nice bit of skirt; you don't get that on Sky. But you do in Qatar.

...

 

[.Rossi]

Such an injustice that he was banished to the desert

 

[rimaldo]

 

[SteveJ]

 

[Wumminator]

"I stood back and waited for the very predictable reaction! I remember my science teacher telling me, many years ago of course, 'empty vessels make the most noise'. How true."

He had a job speaking for a living Ffs.

 

[Brophs]

"Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now feck off!"

 

[Sandikan]

So, City were going to sell their key player keeper to us, their traditional biggest rivals, both for the title, and geographically, and we were going to throw a big name In, for one of those incredibly regular swap deals you see all the time.

riiiiiight.

stick to the "did you smash it" soundbites son

 

[rimaldo]

"Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now feck off!"

got to love some ap.

 

[Ramshock]

Some loons here will believe it.

definitely

 

[Loon]

definitely

Can we not be so down on Loons? Some of us are lovely people.

 

[skidmark]

What a tit

 

[2 man midfield]

 

[rimaldo]

Can we not be so down on Loons? Some of us are lovely people.

What a tit

didn't even make it one post.

 

[Snow]

Keys' personal website is absolute gold.

This section, for example:

Awards

In 2003 Richard Keys has received an Honorary title from Coventry University (Honorary Doctor of Letters - Dlitt) for outstanding services to sports broadcasting. In 2012 Richard Keys and Andy Gray received the best sports programme prize for their talkSPORT show at the Sony Radio Academy Awards (equivalent to the radio Oscars). He has also received a variety of best sports presenter awards from different publications.

Except it's British rather than American and has about 0.00001% of the global recognition.

Loved when they made fun of it on the old Ricky Gervais show.

 

[LawCharltonBest]

He always seemed so normal, neutral and sensible before the 'scandal'

No joke, I genuinely believe that whole ordeal has made him go a bit insane and he isn't quite all there any more. It can obviously happen under extreme stress

 

[GloryHunter07]

Stellar English.

That bit made my eyes bleed