that statue never stops being funnyRonaldo The Movie
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik @Rood and Imran @Annihilate Now! start with the good news by celebrating Manchester United Women's emphatic FA Cup win over Spurs at Wembley and the future of manager Marc Skinner.
Then it's the bad news and the ever worsening form of our Men with losses to Arsenal and Palace.
Finally the main debate - ETH Out now or keep him until the end of the season - if not longer. Are you Team Nik or Team Imran?
that statue never stops being funnySympathy votes maybe? From the documentary.
I don't mind what he's doing there. Why wouldn't he try to earn money if people love to go to his museum or watch a documentary about him?
The statue is hilarious though.
I guess the main issue is that he built the museum and statue, filmed a documentary, at such a young age. A bit narcissistic and egoistic.
Surely it is expected out of most people in his position. Everyone says how driven and hard working he is all because he wants to be the best. He is talented but it is probably the thing that has got him to the elite athelete he is today.
Football is a strange world though, statues for what and whilst still doing what he does... You look at people that have changed the world in history and they don't have them or even the likes of Bill Gates, Richard Branson, etc.
People say similar about other celebrities that write autobiographies and have documentaries about themselves at an early age and say that they should do it when they retire or at least when they are older and I guess I can understand that viewpoint. But it should be noted that Ronaldo's popularity is at its highest point now. At his age, it is highly unlikely that he will further improve as a player. It is more likely that he will decline (hopefully slowly) over the next few years and with that his fame and popularity will decrease (or at least you would expect it to). He will still be very famous of course but not as famous as he is now and you would expect that fans will have moved on to other great players like they always do. Right now is the best time for him to have a documentary about himself because there will never be more interest in him than there is now (or at least I highly doubt there will be). As he gets older and declines as a player, interest in him will only lessen.
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More like acting the goat.
The two biggest entities to ever grace the beautiful game, and two equally vain, greek-god like specimens, with the distinct abilities to make your significant other's panties moisten, both donned the #7 jersey for this great club.
I think every United fan should be proud.
Edit: they both went on to feature for Real Madrid, so feck 'em.
I think every United fan should be proud.
Edit: they both went on to feature for Real Madrid, so feck 'em.
Just imagine how big he could have been if he married a Spice Girl.
Didn't Peter Lim pay something like £40m for his image rights? If so, maybe this is one of his ways of earning some wonga back off Ronaldos name.
So is the kid his or is it some sort of strange Michael Jackson type scenario?
I've come to the conclusion that Ronaldo loves himself more than he does Ronaldo. Sort of like a Kanye loving Kanye, but has more love for Kanye than Kanye would for himself. Basically both are in love with themselves, but also love the symbol of what Ronaldo/Kanye represent than they would themselves. By understanding this argument, you can deduce that Ronaldo loves Kanye.
It's a documentary, Rooney has one upcoming, is he vain also?
It's documentary film by Universal studios, and it's going to be available in the cinema. Popcorn,tickets,hot dogs and everything.
http://www.ronaldothefilm.com
That movie should end after he winning the treble with United and retiring afterward..
I see, like the class of '92.
Baby oil and a box of tissues purchased. Just need to misses to have a night out now..
Made by the same people who made that terrible Senna documentary. If that film was any indication, this one will be overly sentimental and terribly biased, painting Ronaldo as a heroic saint who had to overcome severe challenges and numerous injustices to become who he is.
I cringed.
Rooney documentary is being made by some tv channel in remembrance of him becoming England's top goal scorer. Similar to those Giggs and Scholes documentaries.
I doubt he suddenly went Hollywood with it like Ronnie.
It's not a documentary in the History Channel/National Geographic/Animal Planet sense of the word. It's made by the same people who made "Senna", who you guessed it, was another vain, self-important prima donna.
"Senna" was ridiculous in the sense that it didn't show a SINGLE NEGATIVE ASPECT of Senna's life or career. Granted Senna was possibly the most talented driver of all time, but he was also a highly controversial figure in terms of his racing tactics and politics off the circuit. The "documentary", if we can even call it that, went waaay out of its way to show Senna as the poor victim, the noble hero, while portraying his naysayers and his rivals as the evil bad people. This is not to mention his personal demons, none of which were mentioned. It was just a giant "Senna is great rah rah rah" fest. They go so far as to blame his crash and death on unknown mechanical problems, when there was the very real possibility that he just screwed up. It was just horribly biased and opinionated.
I suspect more of the same money grabbing going on here. CR7 and his family give unprecedented access in exchange for a highly favorable and nauseating portrayal of how great and perfect CR7 is. CR7 gets his ego stroked, and the producers get cash in their pockets.
Like the class of 92?
Looks terrible.
Are they currently active players?
Looks like something only Ronaldo would approve of. Reeking of self indulgence.
Senna was an amazing movie and Amy (which I haven't watched) got rave reviews. Kind of blows my mind that the same people are behind this. It can't be any good, surely?
Senna and Amy (which is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen so check it out) were directed by Asif Kapadia. This one is directed by Anthony Wonke but Kapadia is a producer, as is James Gay-Rees who has produced all three. Kapadia likely had nothing to do with it and just name-stamped it.
Ah. Ok. Kapadia was the guy I knew about. Really smart cookie. What's this Wonke bloke's cv like?
"The team behind" is more a marketing ploy than a stamp of quality. Like "from the producers of" ...The full Senna team spent 3 years compiling Amy, so unless they knocked this off in their lunch hours, I doubt it's really theirs in proper canonical terms.
Yes. In the Game of (United Manager) Thrones.
The Guardian's review
Cristiano Ronaldo's film is a remarkable vanity project and, even more than before, it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex.
What else is new
Cristiano Ronaldo's film is a remarkable vanity project and, even more than before, it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex.
What else is new
I'll be getting this on Blu Ray.
I wouldn't mind watching it tbh 
I wouldn't go pay for it though I'll wait till it comes out on my dongle.
I wouldn't go pay for it though I'll wait till it comes out on my dongle.
As a snapshot of what life must be like for Cristiano Ronaldo, there is one clip in the new film Ronaldo when his godson is being baptised and there is a small gathering around the font. The baby’s head has just been wet when the priest looks over to the tanned guy with the gelled hair and whips out a mobile phone. “Any chance of a quick selfie?” he wants to know.
Then there is the moment Portugal’s team are training at Estádio Moisés Lucarelli in São Paulo during the last World Cup and a sobbing girl breaks the cordon to run across the pitch in a desperate attempt to reach her hero. She is shaking, crying, close to hysteria and caught by one of the security guards. It is The Beatles at Shea Stadium all over again. Ronaldo hugs her and she looks as if she might pass out. “He knows I exist,” she wails, when a television reporter stops her a few moments later. What did he say? “He asked me to stay calm and stop crying.” And what did you say back? “I asked him to follow me on Twitter.”
It must be suffocating at times even if, for the most part, Ronaldo gives the impression that fame is his comfort blanket. The film is a remarkable vanity project and, even more than before, it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex. He and his agent, Jorge Mendes, appear to have a relationship of mutual worship. Mendes, Ronaldo says, is “the best, the Cristiano Ronaldo of agents” and it is difficult to keep count of the number of times they get lost in each other’s eyes, reminding one another of their success and wealth and shiny brilliance.
Mendes – sharp black suit, Rolex, phone almost permanently to his ear – seems almost as hung up about Ronaldo winning the Ballon d’Or as CR7 himself. It is a 24-7, twitching obsession, on both their parts, given far more relevance throughout the film than Real Madrid’s Décima or anything else, and it is a telling moment when Mendes and one of his associates can be heard muttering darkly from one of the Bernabéu’s executive boxes about the possibility “the other guy might destroy everything”.
That other guy is Lionel Messi, cast in a slightly villainous Ivan Drago-style role that he probably does not deserve. “It’s a card inside an envelope that can change so much,” Ronaldo says of the Ballon d’Or, describing what it is like being expected to fake a smile on behalf of his old adversary. “To see Messi win four in a row was difficult for me. After he won the second and third I thought to myself: ‘I’m not coming here again.’” Watching this film, it becomes clear just how difficult it must be for Gareth Bale, signing for Madrid as the most expensive player in history, to deal with that planet-sized ego.
Other scenes are strategically laced with soft-focus Hello! magazine-style moments where Ronaldo can be seen playing with his son, Cristiano Jr, or dropping him off at school, but there is not always a great deal of charm elsewhere. Muhammad Ali and Brian Clough had great humour to go with all the braggadocio. Ronaldo’s style is not so attractive. “I’m not going to lie to you,” he says, explaining why he went to the World Cup with an injury. “If we had two or three Cristiano Ronaldos in the team I would feel more comfortable. But we don’t.”
A touch of humility every now and then would make Ronaldo much more appealing. Equally, he is as good as he is because of the way he is and a documentary of this nature, filmed over 14 months in his company, does show the enormous strains that come with the territory.
At one point his mother, Dolores, is filmed inside a chemist’s handing in a prescription for sedatives because she can barely take the stress of watching him play. Ronaldo rings and asks if she has taken her tranquillisers yet, as if he is quite used to it. “Its quite complicated to be the mother of a player who needs to win,” Dolores explains. “I suffer a lot.” When he is playing in the World Cup she asks for her flip-flops and then walks up the hill rather than watch with the rest of the family.
It is this insight into the inner circle that reminds us it has not been straightforward for Ronaldo, and not just because of the fact he left his family in Madeira at the age of 12 to join Sporting Lisbon, with his first pimples on his forehead and braces on his teeth. Hugo, his older brother, now runs Museu CR7, the Ronaldo museum, in Funchal but, at 20, was spiralling into alcoholism. Hugo says it could have been him who played football. Instead, he worked in construction, and he says everyone drank in that game, particularly as he was used to seeing his father, Dinis, knocking it back every night.It isn’t in the film but Dinis and Hugo resorted to selling Ronaldo’s Manchester United shirts so they could pay for more booze.
Dinis, we learn, was never the same after being called up to fight in the Portuguese colonial war in Angola. He came back “very angry”, Dolores explains. His head was filled with images of the war and though she says he always cared for his children she also says she became “his victim”. Dinis drank himself into an early grave, dying in 2005 when Ronaldo was 19. “He was drunk nearly every day and when that happens it became hard to have a conversation,” his younger son recalls. “I didn’t get to know my father for real.”
As for Cristiano Jr, possibly the star of the film, Ronaldo explains that he always wanted “my successor” without going into any other details. His son is five, already doing sit-ups and still working on his pronunciation of “Lamborghini”, and Dolores takes care of him while Ronaldo is away. The mother? It’s anyone’s guess. “People speculate that it was with this girl or the other or a surrogate mother,” Ronaldo says. “I’ve never told anybody and I never will.” How a man in his position has managed to keep it secret is remarkable and, unorthodox as it might be, fair play to him.
These parts are fascinating and, at times, Ronaldo comes across as so lonely it is a good job he enjoys his own company so much. “In football I don’t have a lot of friends. People I really trust? Not many. Most of the time I’m alone. I consider myself an isolated person.” It pains him that his father is not around to see his success but Mendes, he says, is like a father and a brother rolled into one. In Guillem Balagué’s new book about Ronaldo he writes how, to feed the competitive beast, the player’s entourage quickly came to realise “they must keep criticism at a distance, or control it, create the narrative and keep him on his pedestal”. Mendes is always there to fluff that ego and tell him he is better than Messi, and everybody else. It is far more than just the usual player-agent relationship.
Here, too, is the revelation that there was very nearly no Cristiano Ronaldo either. “He was an unwanted child,” Dolores explains. She considered an abortion and, on a neighbour’s advice, drank boiled black beer before running until she was on the verge of fainting, hoping to force a miscarriage. It didn’t work – and she seems pretty happy about that.
Thirty years on, the film – released on Monday and put together by the people behind Senna – does at least help us understand Ronaldo some more and the incredible drive that is needed to reach the top of his profession. It is not Ronaldo’s talent that stands out the most. It is his competitive courage, his absolute refusal to believe anyone can possibly outdo him and a level of self-obsession that makes one wonder how he will cope now he is approaching the age – two years older than Messi – when the powers gradually start to decline.
In recent years, he says, he and Messi have started talking to one another in a way they never did previously, asking about each other’s families and other polite small-talk. “I’ve started seeing him as a person, not a rival,” he says. “But we are always busting our balls to see who is better.”
Then there is the moment Portugal’s team are training at Estádio Moisés Lucarelli in São Paulo during the last World Cup and a sobbing girl breaks the cordon to run across the pitch in a desperate attempt to reach her hero. She is shaking, crying, close to hysteria and caught by one of the security guards. It is The Beatles at Shea Stadium all over again. Ronaldo hugs her and she looks as if she might pass out. “He knows I exist,” she wails, when a television reporter stops her a few moments later. What did he say? “He asked me to stay calm and stop crying.” And what did you say back? “I asked him to follow me on Twitter.”
It must be suffocating at times even if, for the most part, Ronaldo gives the impression that fame is his comfort blanket. The film is a remarkable vanity project and, even more than before, it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex. He and his agent, Jorge Mendes, appear to have a relationship of mutual worship. Mendes, Ronaldo says, is “the best, the Cristiano Ronaldo of agents” and it is difficult to keep count of the number of times they get lost in each other’s eyes, reminding one another of their success and wealth and shiny brilliance.
Mendes – sharp black suit, Rolex, phone almost permanently to his ear – seems almost as hung up about Ronaldo winning the Ballon d’Or as CR7 himself. It is a 24-7, twitching obsession, on both their parts, given far more relevance throughout the film than Real Madrid’s Décima or anything else, and it is a telling moment when Mendes and one of his associates can be heard muttering darkly from one of the Bernabéu’s executive boxes about the possibility “the other guy might destroy everything”.
That other guy is Lionel Messi, cast in a slightly villainous Ivan Drago-style role that he probably does not deserve. “It’s a card inside an envelope that can change so much,” Ronaldo says of the Ballon d’Or, describing what it is like being expected to fake a smile on behalf of his old adversary. “To see Messi win four in a row was difficult for me. After he won the second and third I thought to myself: ‘I’m not coming here again.’” Watching this film, it becomes clear just how difficult it must be for Gareth Bale, signing for Madrid as the most expensive player in history, to deal with that planet-sized ego.
Other scenes are strategically laced with soft-focus Hello! magazine-style moments where Ronaldo can be seen playing with his son, Cristiano Jr, or dropping him off at school, but there is not always a great deal of charm elsewhere. Muhammad Ali and Brian Clough had great humour to go with all the braggadocio. Ronaldo’s style is not so attractive. “I’m not going to lie to you,” he says, explaining why he went to the World Cup with an injury. “If we had two or three Cristiano Ronaldos in the team I would feel more comfortable. But we don’t.”
A touch of humility every now and then would make Ronaldo much more appealing. Equally, he is as good as he is because of the way he is and a documentary of this nature, filmed over 14 months in his company, does show the enormous strains that come with the territory.
At one point his mother, Dolores, is filmed inside a chemist’s handing in a prescription for sedatives because she can barely take the stress of watching him play. Ronaldo rings and asks if she has taken her tranquillisers yet, as if he is quite used to it. “Its quite complicated to be the mother of a player who needs to win,” Dolores explains. “I suffer a lot.” When he is playing in the World Cup she asks for her flip-flops and then walks up the hill rather than watch with the rest of the family.
It is this insight into the inner circle that reminds us it has not been straightforward for Ronaldo, and not just because of the fact he left his family in Madeira at the age of 12 to join Sporting Lisbon, with his first pimples on his forehead and braces on his teeth. Hugo, his older brother, now runs Museu CR7, the Ronaldo museum, in Funchal but, at 20, was spiralling into alcoholism. Hugo says it could have been him who played football. Instead, he worked in construction, and he says everyone drank in that game, particularly as he was used to seeing his father, Dinis, knocking it back every night.It isn’t in the film but Dinis and Hugo resorted to selling Ronaldo’s Manchester United shirts so they could pay for more booze.
Dinis, we learn, was never the same after being called up to fight in the Portuguese colonial war in Angola. He came back “very angry”, Dolores explains. His head was filled with images of the war and though she says he always cared for his children she also says she became “his victim”. Dinis drank himself into an early grave, dying in 2005 when Ronaldo was 19. “He was drunk nearly every day and when that happens it became hard to have a conversation,” his younger son recalls. “I didn’t get to know my father for real.”
As for Cristiano Jr, possibly the star of the film, Ronaldo explains that he always wanted “my successor” without going into any other details. His son is five, already doing sit-ups and still working on his pronunciation of “Lamborghini”, and Dolores takes care of him while Ronaldo is away. The mother? It’s anyone’s guess. “People speculate that it was with this girl or the other or a surrogate mother,” Ronaldo says. “I’ve never told anybody and I never will.” How a man in his position has managed to keep it secret is remarkable and, unorthodox as it might be, fair play to him.
These parts are fascinating and, at times, Ronaldo comes across as so lonely it is a good job he enjoys his own company so much. “In football I don’t have a lot of friends. People I really trust? Not many. Most of the time I’m alone. I consider myself an isolated person.” It pains him that his father is not around to see his success but Mendes, he says, is like a father and a brother rolled into one. In Guillem Balagué’s new book about Ronaldo he writes how, to feed the competitive beast, the player’s entourage quickly came to realise “they must keep criticism at a distance, or control it, create the narrative and keep him on his pedestal”. Mendes is always there to fluff that ego and tell him he is better than Messi, and everybody else. It is far more than just the usual player-agent relationship.
Here, too, is the revelation that there was very nearly no Cristiano Ronaldo either. “He was an unwanted child,” Dolores explains. She considered an abortion and, on a neighbour’s advice, drank boiled black beer before running until she was on the verge of fainting, hoping to force a miscarriage. It didn’t work – and she seems pretty happy about that.
Thirty years on, the film – released on Monday and put together by the people behind Senna – does at least help us understand Ronaldo some more and the incredible drive that is needed to reach the top of his profession. It is not Ronaldo’s talent that stands out the most. It is his competitive courage, his absolute refusal to believe anyone can possibly outdo him and a level of self-obsession that makes one wonder how he will cope now he is approaching the age – two years older than Messi – when the powers gradually start to decline.
In recent years, he says, he and Messi have started talking to one another in a way they never did previously, asking about each other’s families and other polite small-talk. “I’ve started seeing him as a person, not a rival,” he says. “But we are always busting our balls to see who is better.”
http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2015/nov/05/cristiano-ronaldo-film-messi?CMP=share_btn_tw
Reminds me of a certain scene in American Psycho.The Guardian's review
Cristiano Ronaldo's film is a remarkable vanity project and, even more than before, it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex.
What else is new
Oh god. My brother alerted me to this and I thought it was some fake fan made crap. Then I saw the promo yesterday on BT Sport. Couldn't he at the very least waited until he retired? Bloody hell.
What a shocker, he's exactly how he is on the pitch.
Plugging his movie on the BBC .He said when asked about coming back to United that you never know ,only god knows and that he would never join Citeh. Oh and he's the best player in the world.